Bejeweled

Bellatrix spent the morning of Christmas Eve working on her letter. Apologizing for not saying anything, and explaining why she felt like she couldn’t. Remus was so understanding, she knew he’d get it. Get why she couldn’t stand up to her mother. It just wasn’t done in pureblood families! He was friends with Sirius after all, surely he had some idea. 

In the letter she also talked about how she wasn’t still upset after their ‘disagreement’, as she put it, on their last night of rounds. She told him how she missed the albums she’d left at Hogwarts, and wondered if Evans would have recommendations for more muggle music. Could Remus maybe ask her before they did rounds again? 

She told him about what she hoped to get for Christmas, and asked him to send a list of anything he still wanted after opening his presents so she could give it to him as a belated gift. 

She told him that she missed him, and was looking forward to seeing him as soon as they were back in school. 

Writing to him sharpened the pang of pain in her chest at not being able to talk to him for so long. The one she’d been doing a very good job of ignoring until that point. At least most of the time. At least when she was around her family. 

When the letter was finished, she sealed it with wax and then tucked it into her desk drawer for later. She didn’t want her parents asking about who she was writing to if she could avoid it, so she figured the best time to send it was later when they were having their private meeting with the Dark Lord. They’d be distracted, and she’d be in and out before they even knew she’d gone to the owls. If they did catch her, she’d just say it was a Christmas card to a friend from school and hope they didn’t ask any further questions. And if they caught her on the way out and asked to read the letter, she’d simply Avada Kadavra herself on the spot. 

But before their “adults only” meeting, he was having dinner with the whole family. Which meant she would get to see her Dark Lord. 

Bellatrix couldn’t be any more excited. After all of the ups and downs of the past few weeks, the confusion and worry, she knew seeing him would help ground her once again. She’d be reminded of the deep love they shared. It would all be okay. 

Her father sat at the head of the table, and the Dark Lord sat across from him at the other end, as was custom for a formal dinner with a guest. Though there was another man there as well, someone named Karkaroff, who sat at the Dark Lord’s right hand, which demoted Bella to sitting at his left. Still, it was better than her usual place across from her mother.  

“And how are you doing, young Ms. Black?” he asked her, so charming. 

Bellatrix felt her insides melt. He really was the perfect man, how anyone else could have turned her head even for a moment no longer made sense. 

Well, as long as she didn’t think about Remus’ smile or his laugh or how easy it was with him. But it wasn’t difficult to push thoughts of him out of her head when the Dark Lord’s eyes were on her. 

Of course they couldn’t look too close in front of her parents, least they suspect, but even when acting the part of pinnacle politeness, the Dark Lord had a way of making her feel like the most wonderful woman in the entire wizarding world. 

“Quite well, and you?” Bellatrix answered in a perfectly polite tone. 

They kept their conversation light and appropriate throughout the dinner. Mostly he asked about her school work, and if she’d kept up practicing their lessons; of course she answered yes. But there were moments, stolen glances and lingering looks that told Bellatrix she was driving him just as insane as he was driving her. At one point he slipped her a note under the table, that she couldn’t wait to open once she got upstairs. Though, maybe she could wait because it would mean her time with him for the night was over. 

Still, it was a consolation prize when the girls were dismissed so the adults could have their meeting. About what, Bellatrix had no idea. 

The note held an address just off Diagon Alley, a date, and time. He wanted to see her! In just a few days she’d have alone time with the Dark Lord! 

Bellatrix was floating, daydreaming about all the reasons he may want to meet without her parents knowing. For so long that she almost forgot to send her letter to Remus. 

“Shit!” Bellatrix muttered to herself and grabbed it out of her desk. The meeting had to be almost over by now! 

She carefully opened her bedroom door so it wouldn’t make a sound, and then creeped to the staircase, careful not to step on any loose floorboards that would creak. She was almost to the steps when she realized the Dark Lord and that Karkaroff man were standing outside the dining room, discussing something amongst themselves. Just below where she was now perched. 

Good pureblood breeding told her not to eavesdrop, but Bellatrix had never been one for following the rules if she could get away with it. She lowered herself to the floor as to lower the risk of being seen, and did a quick, barely whispered, hearing enhancement charm on herself to be able to better understand them. And understand she did. 

“It’s too much!” Karkaroff was hissing, clearly worried. “What if they stop supporting us completely because of this? Then what will we do?” 

“They will not. They will fund this, and they will not pull his support,” the Dark Lord said calmly. 

“But what if?” Karkaroff insisted. 

The Dark Lord let out a sharp exhale through his nose that told Bellatrix he was quickly growing tired of this. “Then it won’t affect us for long. That idiot eldest daughter of theirs is convinced she’s in love,” the word dripped with disgust, “with me. Whether or not they pull their funding, I shall kill them as soon as she graduates and we’ll have no more problems.” 

Bellatrix didn’t hear it if Karkaroff responded, her ears were ringing and time felt like a marshmallow. 

And then the rage hit. Pure, white hot lava spewing from her stomach into every cell of her body. How dare he! How dare he use her! How dare he spend years telling her she was special, his future Queen, when all he wanted her for was her money! She was his fucking insurance! 

Her mind flashed back to Remus. How disgusted he’d been at the Dark Lord; his fear about her being used; how he’d been right. 

The lava froze. Her wild rage became dangerously calm. She would not lash out, not try to curse him into oblivion (even if she was convinced she could cast a successful Crucio in that moment), she would wait for the right time to strike. When it would hurt him most. Like he’d hurt her. She could feel the pain bubbling under the surface, under the rage, and its strength scared her. Something in her had truly broken, the anger the only glue holding it together. For now, she clung to the rage for dear life.  

Bellatrix crept back from the bannister and stood up calmly. She simply walked down the steps like nothing had happened, and gave him her best flirty smile when they made eye contact. Like nothing at all was wrong. Then she continued past and out to where they kept the owls, sending off her letter. 

The Dark Lord and Karkaroff were back in the dining room with her parents when Bellatrix returned to her room.