Bejeweled

Bellatrix spent the train back to Kings Cross station walking up and down the corridor doing rounds. Not that there was much of a point to it, she didn’t care if someone wanted to hex their own face off being stupid on the train. She just wanted to be home with her family, enjoying food and opening presents. And, most importantly, seeing her Dark Lord. He was supposed to come over on Christmas Eve to have a meeting with her parents, but she knew the real reason for the visit. He was coming to see her, of course. 

Unfortunately, getting assigned to train duty meant she passed the Marauder’s train cabin multiple times. It took everything in her not to look at him each time, because she knew if she did that she would crumble. She kept her eyes straight, looking forward with each pass. Her anger was too precious to her. It was the only thing that was keeping away a hurricane of thoughts and emotions she didn’t want to deal with, didn’t know how to deal with. 

She just needed to get home. Seeing them, hearing their conversations about politics and current events would help her stop feeling so confused. Seeing her Dark Lord would settle her loyal heart that was forgetting itself. 

As usual, Mum and Dad were waiting on the platform in a group of pure blood parents, chatting casually while awaiting their children. Bellatrix had never noticed how stiff and formal they all looked in comparison to the other parents. How coldly they nodded at her and her sisters when they pulled their belongings up to the group in comparison to the excited, enveloping hugs that awaited others. 

Bellatrix began moving through the crowd with her family, enjoying the way people instinctually got out of their way. 

At least until some boy, messing around with his friends, got shoved into her mother. A very specific boy with sandy blonde hair and a smile that made her stomach flip. 

“I’m so sorry,” Remus said earnestly to the older woman. 

Bellatrix could tell the exact moment it registered who he’d just run into. 

“You should be,” Druella sneered, wand already in hand. “What kind of mongrels are they letting into Hogwarts these days? I mean, look at you! You look like you crawled out of a rubbish bin. Honestly, that’s where filth like you belongs.” 

Bellatrix felt sick as she watched the scene play out. She could see the pain on Remus’ face at her mother’s words. Pain sufficient enough that Druella decided not to curse him, putting her wand away. Bellatrix wanted to snap at her mom, tell her that Remus absolutely was not garbage. He was a kind and caring person. He was smart, and had amazing taste in literature when he had the rare moment to read for fun. He was a damn good kisser. 

But instead she said nothing. 

She just watched as his friends defended him instead. As Potter told Druella exactly where she could shove it and almost started a fight with the older witch. As Remus told his friend that it wasn’t worth it, and apologized again to her mother just to try to keep the peace. As his eyes met her own and he gave her a small, tight lipped smile that made her want to cry. 

It took everything in her to keep her face neutral, and still she didn’t think it was enough. Something showed on her face, she was sure, though she wasn’t sure what. 

“Wasn’t that..?” Cissy hissed as their group resumed walking. 

Bellatrix gave a short nod, and ignored Andy as she watched the entire exchange with curiosity. 

Being home didn’t make Bellatrix feel better like she’d hoped. Being alone in the house with only her parents and her sisters was awkward because of the split with Andy. Their parents still claimed it was just simple teenage rebellion, that Andy was acting out for now, but would calm down and marry a pureblood after she graduated as was expected of her, but Bellatrix and Narcissa knew better. There was no changing Andromeda’s mind. Once she graduated, she would be disowned. Which meant they had to reject her, act like she didn’t exist as being rejected by her sisters was one of the influences their parents expected to bring her back soon enough. Every time Bella happened across Andy in the halls of the manor she couldn’t help but feel like her parents were using her for their own ends. 

And then there was the comments. Her parents discussed politics and whatever articles were in The Daily Prophet every morning at family breakfast, expecting their daughters to listen silently and learn. But with every comment, Bellatrix could only hear her mother calling Remus trash. Something she knew was wrong. It was so untrue it made her sick. So…what else were they wrong about? 

Bellatrix wanted her Taylor Swift albums. She’d left them at school of course, there was no way in hell she could risk her parents finding them, but she found that music in particular helped her process her emotions. Maybe that’s why she’d been so unsteady recently. Since she couldn’t play those in her dorm and had to sneak away to hear them, so she didn’t get to hear them nearly as much as she wanted to. 

Instead, she found herself spending most of break in the library, reading whatever could hold her attention enough to distract her. Honestly, she’d feel bad for spending so little time with Cissy, if Cissy hadn’t spent the vast majority of her time with Lucius Malfoy in Diagon Alley. 

That’s where she was, curled up on a cushy bench against a window in the library, book in her hands, when a voice said, “I thought I’d find you here.” 

Bella’s eyes snapped up. She’d been so engrossed she hadn’t heard her sister enter. “Andy,” Bella nodded coolly, and then returned her eyes to the novel like she was supposed to. 

“Mum and Dad are out,” Andy said, moving to sit at the other end of the bench, where Bella’s legs were stretched out. 

“So?” Bella asked, but pulled her legs back to make room. 

“So…we can talk,” Andy answered. 

“I don’t have anything to say to you.” 

Apparently Andy was determined though, not letting Bella’s haughty replies deter her. “What’s going on with you and Remus Lupin?” 

“He’s my partner for prefect rounds,” Bella answered dismissively, her eyes not leaving her book, but they were no longer moving across the sentences. As interesting as the book had been before, it no longer held the power to distract her. 

Andy leaned forward and put her hand on the page, completely covering it so Bella was unable to even pretend to read anymore. Bella looked up at her with annoyance. 

“What?” Bella snapped. 

“I saw the look on your face when mum called him trash. You care about him,” Andy accused. 

Bella’s eyes narrowed at her sister. “If you’re insinuating that anything like what you and that Tonks boy—“ 

Andy cut her off with a groan. “There are other ways to care about people!” she huffed out. “I saw your face, and I know you, Bella! You care about that boy in some way.” 

Bellatrix felt like she was about to explode. She’d been sitting there stewing all break—hell, since before break! Ever since he’d kissed her and then called her relationship with the Dark Lord ‘disgusting’. Maybe even before that! Maybe since he’d given her the muggle albums and she’d loved them. Maybe since he’d gotten mad at her for using the word ‘mudblood’. She wasn’t sure exactly when it had started, but she’d been walking down an incline so subtle for so long that she hadn’t realized how deep into the hole she’d gotten until she now tried to look up. 

If her parents had been wrong about him, what else had they been wrong about? If muggle music wasn’t inferior, what else wasn’t? Her entire world was crumbling around her all because of a Gryffindor in ratty clothes with a heart stopping smile. 

She took a deep breath, trying to calm the tsunami trying to unleash itself. “Fine,” she said tightly. “He’s my friend. I didn’t like Mum calling him trash. Happy?” 

And Andy did look happy. Bellatrix could have easily snapped at her, called her own sister trash or worse and shared absolutely nothing. That’s what she should have done, but Andy was her sister. And not only her sister, but probably the one person in the world who truly understood what Bella was going through at the moment, even if Bella wouldn’t admit it. 

Andy had been let in, just a little bit, and for now that was enough. 

“Are you going to do anything about it?” Andy asked. 

“I was…considering sending an owl,” Bella admitted. 

“I think that’s a good idea,” Andy smiled sincerely. “It would help clear your conscience.” 

“I don’t have one of those.” 

Andy didn’t look like she believed her one bit.