Bejeweled

 Bellatrix was still irritated with him when she got back to the Slytherin common room, but her body felt hot all over when she thought about that kiss. Sure, they’d said it never happened, they’d just keep up whatever friendship they’d had before (before he’d kinda ruined that…to be determined), but would she ever be able to look at him again without thinking about that kiss? 

Would she ever be able to look at him without wanting to do it again? 

She was loyal. Taken. She’d simply lost herself in the moment and things had happened that her Dark Lord never needed to know about. It was nothing more than a childish crush, nothing compared to the love she felt for Voldemort. 

At least that was what she kept telling herself. 

And then he’d asked who it was and she’d told him the truth. A secret that previously only Cissy had known. 

His response was concern. Real concern for her well being as he voiced something that had never even crossed her mind. How could it? When she was with her Dark Lord there was never any doubt—hadn’t been since she’d first met him when she was 12 and he’d told her she was a princess, meant to rule wizard-kind. He made her feel so special, so important. He saw the potential in her even back then. Knew she was a witch to be respected, feared. 

The summer after her 5th year was when things changed. He’d told her parents he was going to tutor her in magic Hogwarts didn’t teach, and he’d done so. As they’d slowly grown from master and apprentice to lovers. 

He couldn’t marry her when she got out of school, of course. He was a half-blood, but that didn’t matter to either of them. She’d have a respectable pureblood marriage on paper, and then she’d rule by his side in reality. From Princess to Queen. 

It was her future, set in stone. 

But that kiss shook her certainty. Made her consider something else, even for the briefest of moments. It made her think about a future full of easy conversations and late nights listening to muggle music with a different pair of arms around her. A path that her family would disown her for walking. Forcing Cissy to be alone in her pureblood marriage to Lucius. 

Bella shook her head. No. She couldn’t do that. She’d chosen her future a long time ago, and just because she could see a fork in the road didn’t mean she had to take it. 

No matter how badly a part of her wanted to. 

~ 

Remus didn’t know what expression was on his face when he walked into the common room, lost in thought. His friends hadn’t gone to bed yet, unlike he’d hoped, instead seeming to actually try to finish the homework they’d had a whole month to complete. 

Whatever expression he wore seemed to give something away because the moment his friends saw him, James frowned and asked, “What happened?” 

Remus groaned and threw himself on a couch next to their chairs, not caring that his shoes were on the cushion as he looked up at the dark ceiling. What could he tell them? He couldn’t betray Bellatrix’s trust by sharing her secret when she’d explicitly told him not to tell these very people. How he wished he could. Maybe they'd help him process it all, know what to do to protect her. 

He could lie. Tell them it was nothing, he’d just miss her, but Remus had a feeling they wouldn’t even pretend to buy that and would pester him until he folded. Besides, it’d be nice to have his friend’s support through this, though he felt guilty asking them for even more. He was always the one who needed them; he took and took while all they did was give. 

Even if they’d told him to stop thinking this way a million times. He wasn’t a burden on his friends, at least according to them. His own mind disagreed frequently. 

“I kissed her,” he admitted. 

He heard someone gasp, though he wasn’t sure who. He turned his head to look at them instead of straight up. 

“Well…you still have all your limbs, so I guess she didn’t react too badly,” Sirius tried to joke. 

“Clearly didn’t go great,” James chided him, elbowing Sirius in the ribs. 

Remus debated how much information to share. He could say she’d turned him down and things got awkward, which wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the truth either. “It kinda did at first. She kissed me back,” he shared. 

Three jaws went slack as they stared at him in total shock. 

“ Cousin Bella ? Well…damn.” 

“…but?” James prompted after shaking himself out of the initial amazement. 

“But then she freaked out because she’s seeing someone,” Remus sighed. 

“Ooh, that’s rough,” James cringed. 

But Sirius scoffed. “So what? If she kissed you back she’s clearly into you. Steal her from him!” 

Remus raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re rooting for this now?” 

“Look, it’s weird as hell and I don’t think I’ll ever understand it, but I want you to be happy. Besides, I can’t imagine the chaos of Cousin Bella of all people deciding to ditch the blood purity shit. I’m happy to watch the fireworks,” Sirius grinned mischievously. 

“Who is this other bloke anyway?” James asked. 

“I don’t know,” Remus lied with a shrug. “Probably some pureblood.” Except he’s not. He’s literally You Know Who. And practically twice her age! But Remus wouldn’t betray her by saying that. 

“That narrows it down some,” Peter mused. 

“I think they wanted to pair her up with Lestrange, could be him,” Sirius suggested. 

“Whoever it is, I’m not going to try to break them up. After tonight she probably never wants to talk to me ever again anyway.” 

James looked at him with pity. “She reacted that bad?” 

Remus groaned as he put his hands over his eyes, hoping the slight pressure would stop the headache he knew was forming.