Illicit Deliberations

Remus had been living in Regulus’ flat for the last eight months. Two years earlier, he had met Regulus in their university classes, and the two had become unlikely friends. Remus was never one for friends, there were people he ran with, and people in his younger school days that he tolerated, but there was never anyone he considered his friend. He often found people to be annoying and patronizing, but Regulus was different. Regulus was almost always blunt, none of his words masked with social taboos.

Since they initially met there had been many late nights of the two watching movies (or as Regulus was insistent on calling them ‘films”), talking of books they read, and doing coursework together. They had developed a symbiotic relationship, gaining from the company without typical social pressures they had grown accustomed to meeting.

As Remus spent more of his time around Regulus he was soon introduced to his two roommates, Barty Crouch and Evan Rosier. They were rambunctious, cocky, and foolish, yet Remus found himself growing fond of the two as well.

“Your name is Remus? Are your parents like potheads or something? Who names their kid Remus” Barty asked the first time they had met.

“That’s some big talk coming from a fella named Bartiemus” Evan jeered while grabbing Barty into a headlock before aggressively rubbing his knuckles onto Barty’s head.

“You can ignore those two, they are my idiotic roommates” Regulus huffed, looking apologetically at Remus.

“Hey, that's not very kind of you Reggie,” Evan said. “plus, it’s idiotic roommates and best friends” Barty added, sticking his head up from Evan’s grasp.

As time had marched on Remus found himself in the company of Barty and Evan more frequently, often without Regulus accompanying. When questioned, the two would tell Remus that ‘something had come up’ for Regulus and that he wouldn’t be able to make it. Remus was unable to shake the feeling that he was being coddled, that Regulus had enlisted Barty and Evan to babysit him.

Regardless, the three had fun, Barty and Evan filled in the gaps that Remus felt from his social life. The two gave him the young adult experience he never had, taking him out for drinks, parties, and late-night escapades running around town. They always ended their nights back at Regulus’ flat, after Barty had not so discreetly called Regulus to make sure the ‘coast was clear’. The three would sit on the balcony, with a lit cigarette in hand, and, well just talk. Through their late talks, Remus learned much about the boys. He learned that Evan was in the process of signing a pro football contract before breaking his tibia by jumping into a dumpster and that he had a twin sister he was quite fond of but they hadn’t talked in three years. He learned that Barty ran away from his dad at 16 and had been living with Regulus ever since and that he had a soft spot for Taylor Swift. In the rare times when only one of the two would go up to bed early, when more drinks were passed around, he learned that Barty and Evan truly only cared for one thing, the other.

Eight months ago Remus had been evicted (after three months of no rent payments), he came knocking on Regulus’ door asking to stay for a couple of nights while he ‘figured some things out’. Remus knew deep down that there was nothing to figure out, he had no job, 300 dollars to his name, and was trying to live and go to university in one of the most expensive cities in the world. That night he sat on the couch with Regulus, both of them sipping from mugs of tea in silence, until Regulus broke it.

“It doesn’t have to be a couple nights, ya know” Regulus pondered, avoiding eye contact.

“What do you mean?” Remus asked, he knew what Regulus meant, he needed to hear it.

“You can move in, here, we have the extra bedroom”

“I can’t” Remus sighed

“Why not? Is it Barty and Evan?” Regulus prodded

“No no, I like Barty and Evan… I just, I- I don’t really have any money” Remus muttered, it hurt to say, he knew that Regulus knew this, regardless it stung coming out “I can't pay any rent or anything”

“I know. It’s not a problem”

“I can’t do that to you, I’d feel too guilty”

“Barty and Evan live here and they don’t pay rent, have you ever seen me hold that against them? Consider it please.”

“If I take you up on this, is there any way I can help you, non-monetarily?”

That’s how Remus found himself here, living rent-free in a luxury London flat working for the remnants of the once esteemed Black family mafia. After months of not-so-subtle hints from Barty and Evan, it hadn’t been much of a shock to find the whole mafia thing out. What was a shock to Remus was finding out how quickly his moral qualms about being part of organized crime disappeared when he knew he had a place to live and food to eat.

***

Remus lay in bed, staring out his window. The sun had been up for hours, and he knew it was time to get out of bed, but it felt as if something was holding him down. He turned over, checking the time, 11:30 am, he really did need to get up. Remus pulled himself to the edge of his bed, planting his feet on the floor with his hands on his knees.

“Remus, hello, sign this” came Regulus’ voice as he burst through Remus’ door.

“Regulus what the fuck! Have you ever heard of knocking!” Remus exclaimed as he quickly tried to throw on a T-shirt that had been on the floor.

“Sign it” Regulus repeated, holding out some papers and a pen.

“Can you at least tell me what it is?” Remus asked, heart still pounding as he pulled his shirt over his head.

“They are forms for your new job” Regulus stated matter of factly, meeting Remus’ eyes with his own gray ones.

“I told you, if you needed me to pay rent I could try to figure it out, but I don’t need you finding a job for me”

“No, I am not changing our agreement, this is for the plan”

Remus rattled through his brain, he had just finished his semester and had not been as involved with work as Regulus, Evan, and Barty had been but he couldn’t remember any active plans.

“Uhh… which plan?” Remus spluttered out.

“Oh don’t act like that, you haven’t forgotten anything. Barty, Evan, and I have been working on this plan without you”

“Wow thanks that makes me feel loads better,” Remus deadpanned back.

Remus sat back listening to Regulus explain their upcoming mission. The other three had been planning this for the last 2 months, Remus had been so caught up in his coursework and final exams that he had been left out. The plan was relatively simple, they were to kidnap a man whose best mate was quite well off, charge a hefty ransom, and walk away with around 125k quid each.

“What's the catch? And what does this job you got for me have to do with it?” Remus asked.

“Well, since your usual place on these is planning, and that has obviously already been done, I have a different assignment for you on this one. I need you to do something more involved” Regulus hesitated “You’re going to be our eyes, on the man we need the ransom from. I need you to keep tabs on him if you can get close to him the better. That's what the job is, it's to be a bartender at a bar he frequents.”

Remus felt queasy as he stared back wide-eyed at Regulus, this was asking more of him than any of their previous missions. “You know I don’t have any bartender experience right?” was all Remus could muster.

“Well, you better learn quickly, your first day is tomorrow and I put four years of experience on your resume” Regulus retorted, leaving Remus’ room with the papers sitting on his dresser.

***

On the day of his first shift, he had been briefed by Regulus with a large folder of all of the information about his target, pictures, photocopies of legal documents, and identification.

“How’d you even get all of this,” Remus said unsure whether to be impressed or a little bit scared.

“A lot of it is public if you look hard enough. For the rest, Evan broke into the records office a couple of weeks back to get his tax forms and name change deed poll.”

“Name change?”

“Yeah, he changed his name about 10 years back”

“Does this have something to do with why we're kidnapping this guy’s mate? It’s just most of the time we don’t do this stuff solely for money, it’s because someone wronged you. Is that why this bloke changed his name, is he like on the run?”

“You ask too many questions Lupin, but to quiet your curious mind for a while, yes, he owes me. Not monetarily per se, but he owes me quite a lot.”

With that, Regulus walked out of the room, leaving Remus even more confused than before. He was itching to get to the bottom of this. As he dug more through the folder his gaze stuck on the images of the man, he had dark hair that formed soft curls around his face, gray eyes that showed a soft whisper of blue, his nose was strong, and skin dotted with tattoos. In a way he seemed familiar, ‘Sirius Potter’ the form read, the original name had been sharpied out, presumably by Regulus considering it looked fresh.

Later in the day, Remus made his way into the bar. Luckily for him, the bar was slow and most people wanted things that were simple enough to make. It had been four hours, and still no sign of ‘Sirius’ Regulus said this was bound to happen, that the other three had been scouting for two months and said he came here 4-5 times a week so there was no guarantee he would come today. Remus leaned his elbows against the counter, twiddling his thumbs, spacing out into the clock on the wall across from him. He didn’t know how long he had been in this trance but eventually, his focus had been brought back.

“hellooooooo” a voice rang into Remus’ ears as a hand waved in front of his eyes.

“Euh, I’m sorry what can I get for you?” Remus said, bringing his gaze up he made eye contact with the man in front of him, Sirius.

“Pint of Stella, please” Sirius responded, a smirk growing across his face as he looked up at Remus. “Are you new here or have they just been keeping you in the back?”

“First day” Remus mumbled, trying his best to keep his composure. It was one thing to come face to face with a man who he knew he was about to hurt, it was another when that man was possibly the hottest person he’d seen in his life

--------

Regulus had his back rested against the arm of the couch, knees pulled slightly up with his computer in his lap. He was staring intently at the assignment in front of him, of course, he’d already finished the paper weeks ago but he could not bring himself to turn it in. It was wrong, he was unsure what but he knew something could be better. He incessantly dug at the side of his thumb with his index, it was bad enough to make mistakes even worse to not be able to tell what those mistakes were.

Regulus’ gaze leaped over the front door where he heard the lock clicking, before immediately going back to his computer, pretending as if it never left. With the semi-recent addition of Remus Lupin as a roommate, Regulus was almost always in for a surprise as to who would be entering the door. Before, it had always been Evan and Barty, together. Now it was just Remus, or Remus and Evan, or sometimes just Barty, really it was whatever combination the other three had somehow magically figured out while parading around town.

Today, the answer was just Evan.

“Heya Reg!” Evan waved while sliding his shoe off with the toe of the other. “I got cupcakes, saved you a lemon one, your favorite,” he said while handing a box out to Regulus.

“No thank you, I have work to finish” Regulus muttered. He looked up to Evan’s eyes and saw, for a second, a piece of it shatter, before quickly rebuilding into a skeptical gaze. “I’ll have it when I’m done” Regulus reassured, trying his best to take on a softer tone.

“You’re doing the thing again, where you don’t let yourself enjoy anything until you think you’ve done everything” Evan stated, eyes examining Regulus as if he were under a microscope.

Evan had always been like this, ever since the two were kids Evan could always read Regulus like a book. His bluntness was a slightly newer addition, after spending years being glued to the hip of Barty Crouch Jr., it seemed some things were bound to wear off.

“Take the damn cupcake… cause otherwise it’s gonna sit in the fridge until Lupin gets back and then you’ll be lucky to see any sweets left in this damn house” Evan chuckled, patting Regulus on the shoulder while setting the cupcake on the coffee table to his side.

Regulus’ gaze returned once again to his computer, his finger returned to digging at his thumb. He stared, and stared, and stared, and… pressed submit? It felt as though at that moment he had lost control, he knew he wasn’t done with it, but wasn’t he? What were his plans for the rest of the night? To stare at his screen until his eyes rotted, waiting to find a problem that he never could? He let out a deep sigh, took a long blink, and shut the laptop. He could hear Evan’s footsteps inching in closer from the kitchen, Regulus instantly reached out to grab the box, after all, he did love lemon cupcakes.

Regulus saw the corners of Evan’s mouth twitch up as he saw Regulus with the box in hand, “So boss man, break the plan to Lupin yet?” questioned Evan.

***

Regulus had not broken the plan to Remus, he had also not broken the very grimy details to Barty or Evan. Naturally, a team meeting was in order, a team meeting minus Remus who would be at a desk in the campus library until he eventually got kicked out come closing time.

“What’s the point of this Reggie? Furthermore, what was the point of that ominous text I got ‘Meet back at base in twenty, important business to discuss, do not be late’” Barty grumbled, trying to do some kind of deep-voiced impression. “from an unknown number I might add” he continued as he got seated next to Evan.

“Yeah I mean we already have the plan down, we just gotta fill Remus in when he’s done with his test or whatever” Evan added

“ His exams.” Regulus muttered back “And yes the plan is done but…well, there are some, less than savory details I have not informed you two of.”

Barty’s brow furrowed, and Evan leaned forward. The two examined him, studied him in a way, waiting for him to speak, waiting to find out what would be required of them.

“Out with it, Reg” Barty urged, dropping his usual vigor for a tone quite softer. Evan gave Regulus a curt nod, raising his eyebrows.

Regulus tried, he really did try. His mouth opened, it moved even, air pushed out of his lungs, his diaphragm relaxed, but no sound came out. He sat there, meeting the pressuring gazes of Barty and Evan.

Evans's eyes lit up, “It’s about” he trailed off before Barty picked up “Sirius”.

Regulus merely nodded in response. It was about Sirius, really it was always about Sirius wasn’t it? For the last ten years, Regulus had not lived a single day in peace. There was not a day when did not wake up looking for a message from Sirius on his phone. There was not a day where he did not worry himself into a sick sweat over the mere thought of his brother. Everything was about Sirius, everything would forever be about Sirius. Regulus’ thoughts consumed him, his memories a prison where he was on death row.

Regulus’ gaze dropped, he was no longer able to meet the eyes of his friends. He had always been like this, always expecting them to do his dirty work. Regulus did not often feel shame, he did not let himself be wrong out loud, and he did not let himself feel sorry for the things that he did. He did feel shame today, he felt shame when it came to Barty and Evan, he felt shame when it came to Sirius, and he felt shame when he knew that he couldn’t even say out loud what he was doing.

“Are you sure you want to mm.. hmm…” Evan’s voice muffled out, Regulus looked up to see Barty with his hand over Evan’s mouth. “We’re in, still, we’re always going to be in Reg” Barty affirmed.

Regulus took a second, a second that he was not proud of, to compose himself before speaking “You can’t let Remus know” his voice still having a slight quiver to it.

The two nodded.

If there was one thing Barty Crouch Jr. could always be counted on for, it was changing the subject when things had become too tense.

“I really think we need codenames for this,” Barty said shooting up from his chair, “think about it, we can’t have Mr. kidnapped knowing who we are, what if he goes to the cops.”

“Fine, you're Crouch and Evan is Rosier” Regulus tutted.

“Listen to yourself speak Reggie” Barty sighed with fake exasperation “That's just giving him our last names on a platter, that's even worse if the cops find it. Especially considering Evan and I have been arrested four times”

“I’ve only been arrested twice, the other two were you not running fast enough” Evan quipped while Barty shot him a sour expression.

“What do you want your nicknames to be?” Regulus sighed, letting a faint smile draw across his lips.

“Well I’m clearly the muscle of this operation” Barty taunted while flexing his biceps at Evan.

“As if. I am not calling you ‘muscle’” Evan rolled his eyes.

“Oooo I’ve got it” Barty exclaimed, “Regulus what are those silly little oui oui words you call us all the time” putting on a thick French accent. “Those could be our nicknames”

Regulus almost laughed, “you sure about that?”

“Of course I’m sure, what's sexier than a French name?”

“How do you say them? I wanna make sure I pronounce Barty’s new sexy French name right” Evan added.

“I call Barty bâtard and you suceur de bite, bâtard means bastard and suceur de bite means cock sucker, so, by all means, go for it with those nicknames if you’d like,” Regulus said letting a chuckle escape his lips. It was nice to have friends like these two, friends who could so quickly bring you out of your worst. “I’m still voting for last names” Regulus added.

Barty muttered something under his breath about not being a bastard, Evan patted him on the shoulder “Why not just make our last names into something French? Best of both worlds” Evan mediated, as the peacemaker he always was.

“Hm, not such an awful idea. You can be Fluer and Barty can be voûter” Regulus relented.

“Fluer is flower right?” Barty questioned skeptically, Regulus nodded “whats vouter?”

“It means to hunch, or like a hump,” Regulus said, meeting Barty’s confused eyes “Cause it’s like Crouch, crouching kind of a thing”

“I am not being a hump” Barty protested “I want something manly,”.

“Yeah manly, like muscle” Evan added in a sarcastic jab, a sarcastic jab that Barty did not catch “Yes like muscle! Thank you, Evan. Call me a killer or something cool”.

“Fine, your tueur, that means killer” Regulus caved.

“You hear that Evan? I'm a killer” Barty exclaimed, puffing his chest out.

As much as these two were Regulus’ opposites, they were what completed him. Evan and Barty, Barty and Evan, Regulus was proud of his trio of rag-tag ruffians in a way he had never been proud before. They were the balance to his existence.