“Don’t you understand how much I love you?!” Shelly’s voice cracked, her eyes stinging from all the tears. Her throat hurt. It made her wince, but she couldn’t get distracted. Not now.
“Love?” Vee sighed, crossing her arms.
That wasn’t the reaction Shelly wanted. “Yes! Love! I’m in love with you, what don’t you get about that?!” Her chest pounded. She hugged Vee tightly, pushing herself into the TV who was frozen in place with an uncomfortable look.
It made sense in Vee’s mind. The signs were always there after all, the ones that she chose to ignore.
From the beginning, Shelly was jealous of how close Vee was with Astro. Maybe for fear that she liked him more than her. She never tried anything, knowing Shelly, she probably felt guilty for feeling that way. Vee could always distinctly remember Astro’s words compared to Shelly’s. She was a background character in their life. Shelly should’ve just moved out the way and none of this would’ve ever happened.
Not to mention the other stuff, like how she always got more shy around Vee. It was cute, but only in a pathetic way. She’d blush and move rapidly as her facial expressions changed with every second that passed like she was desperately trying to not seem awkward. It was a typical crush but with an unhealthy dependence. She would bundle up and squeal just at the thought of her.
Vee had never once done that when thinking about her. Or anyone for that matter. It seemed childish and unnecessary. Regardless, of what she thought, the conclusion was obvious.
“I’m a robot, Shelly. I can’t feel love.”
Shelly’s heart shattered at that sentence. “I know you can, you just have to try! Please!” A tear streamed down her cheek as she choked that out. This girl didn’t understand anything. It was irritating. No wonder she never had any patience left for her.
“Are you stupid?” Shelly’s eyes widened when Vee said that. “I’ve told you this a million times. I work purely on a factual basis. Do you genuinely think I could feel something like that?” She kept going, which was a mistake. “And for you of all people?”
“What?”
“I can’t even stand talking to you, do you think I’d like you? Why do you even like me? I’ve made it clear we have no common interests or anything to bond over. I don’t enjoy speaking to you, and for the record, I don’t think most people do. Maybe take a hint before pouring your heart out to someone.” Maybe she was a little harsh, but how else would she get through Shelly’s thick skull? It was similar to talking to a brick wall. No matter how many times she repeated it, Shelly always came crawling back to her.
Shelly’s look of helplessness was joined by something else. Rage? Anger? “How… Vee…” She looked down before pushing Vee back. “How could you say that?!” Regret instantly filled her as she watched her stumble back. She muttered, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I got ahead of myself, I’m sorry-“
“The hell is up with you?” Vee didn’t care. Not one bit. No matter what Shelly did, she’d never care. How could she fix that? Could that cold, emotionless tone ever be fixed? The ground swayed beneath her. She was stupid. So stupid.
“I’m sorry, forgive me… I just want to be loved…” She was aware she was practically speaking into a void right now. “Everyone just pretends I’m not there… So, when you would get mad at me, I was grateful you’d at least notice my existence…”
Vee tilted her head. “Are you mentally unwell or something?”
Shelly sniffed. “Very.”
“And do you expect love to fix anything for you?”
Shelly didn’t have a response to that. She just continued sobbing like a weakling.
“Exactly.” Vee facepalmed in frustration. “You’re delusional for expecting some fairytale romance that will magically solve everything. I don’t think you could ever get better like this.”
“What’s the point in trying to get better?” Shelly almost fell to her knees, unable to take the dizziness from her intense haze anymore. A sad smile crept up her lips. Her eyes looked more dull and devoid of light than usual. “Everything you say is true. Nobody likes me, nobody loves me, nobody even pays attention to me. I’ve lost the will to care if it’s unhealthy or not.”
Vee glared at Shelly under her. It only made her look worse. “Quit talking to me and go get some therapy.”
Shelly’s eyes twitched. “Don’t you hear me?! I said I don’t care! Why do none of you listen to a word I say?!”
“Maybe because no one cares, maybe because I don’t understand.” There was a heavy silence as Vee waited for her to say something in response. The clock ticks got louder as well as everything else in the room.
“FINE! YOU KNOW WHAT?! IF NOBODY CARES ABOUT ME, I’D BE BETTER OFF DEAD!” Shelly began to shout. Nuisance. Still, Vee had no idea how to respond to such a thing. It wasn’t that big of a deal to just commit suicide simply because nobody gives a shit that you’re alive. If they don’t care, just make them care. Change something about yourself. Do whatever it takes to have the spotlight back on you. If it’s not on you, then it’s your fault.
“I mean, you don’t HAVE to, do you?”
“Why shouldn’t I?!”
“…Are you expecting this to somehow change my mind?” Shelly fell quiet. She didn’t understand she didn’t understand SHE DIDN’T UNDERSTAND. Shelly’s thoughts dissolved into weeps. Stupid stupid stupid IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT. She was a complete fool to believe there was a chance of this working out in her favor. Everything in her body hurt. Nothing was worth it. Why was Vee looking at her like that? Like she was a bug underneath her? Did her feelings really not matter?
She trembled. “Please…” One last cry left her.
“No.”
And with that, Vee turned and walked away.