Chapter 20
James stepped outside the bedroom to find his lover where he often found him; sitting at the arched window under the stars.
"You're gonna catch a cold Sweetheart," he murmured grabbing the blue winter blanket he'd bought a few days ago.
Regulus would never admit it, but he got cold faster than ever recently. The only reason he could pretend nothing was happening and his fingers weren't shaking after a few minutes in anything below room temperature was because James dutifully brought backup jackets and blankets and scarfs wherever they went.
He'd even gotten him a hat. It had an adorable butterfly on it, green, but unfortunately it was still a hat ("how would my hair look like under that?!") and therefore Regulus refused to wear it.
With practiced movements James wrapped first the blanket and then himself around Regulus, who sighed in relief and immediately leaned back into him.
"You know you could always just wake me up for your nightly excursions," he mumbled into Regulus's ear, who only shook his head and pressed his back a bit closer to James's front.
He let his his hands travel down along Regulus's arms. When Regulus moved them closer he gently rucked up the sleeves and carefully ran his fingers over the exposed skin.
He had long mapped out the black veins running there. Starting at the death eater tattoo they traveled up Regulus's arm. Some were spidery thin, others strong and protruding a bit. They kept expanding, and the healers said they didn't know what would happen once they reached Regulus's heart. They could only guess.
The healers also kept saying touching them couldn't be beneficial but Regulus insisted it felt good. Maybe it was just how James didn't hesitate over his dark mark. Just like Reggie loved it when he kissed the scars under his chest or the burnt skin of his lower back.
"You in pain?"
Regulus didn't answer. Which meant yes.
"I'll get you-"
"Already took it. Just stay with me?"
James complied. He was glad in a way. Regulus had refused the painkillers at first. He didn't think about what it meant about his level of pain that he took them completely voluntarily now.
"Jamie?"
"Yeah?"
"You're my everything you know." James swallowed. He tried to but he couldn't answer. "You're the only person who ever brought me true joy. And pain. When I left ... it actually, physically hurt to leave you. I just- you're my everything."
James smiled through his tears, closed his eyes when Regulus turned his head and kissed his jaw softly.
"Can I ask you something I've always wanted to know?" He said and Regulus looked at him curiously then nodded.
"When you cast that patronus, in that cave, what did you think about?" What is your happiest memory, let me share it, please.
"Oh. It was ... well you," Regulus said and then ducked his head, his cheeks clearly pink.
James grinned, slung his arms closer around Regulus. "Oh yeah? And what exactly was I doing?"
Regulus grumbled something and then huffed when James kept pestering him.
"It was ... remember when you won against Ravenclaw by basically jumping off your broom and tackling the snitch?"
"Of course. It was ..." James made sure to have a dreamy look on his face, "legendary."
Regulus rolled his eyes but smiled. "Everyone thought you must've broken at least one, if not more limbs. The whole bloody school talked about it for days about how James Potter managed to pull that off ..?"
James frowned. That didn't exactly sound like the cute story he'd been hoping for.
"So you had just survived that stunt and then .."
"Then I twisted my ankle running up the stairs to see you. Do you just love it when I make an absolute idiot of myself?" He teased.
"Yes, of course. Happiest day of my life, saved my ass when I needed that Patronus."
James laughed, then looked at Regulus expectantly.
"You were just ... you were so eager to tell me. You almost broke your foot. And then, when you made it up the stairs, you couldn't even be bothered to truly look at that goddamn ankle until after you had told me every single detail about that catch. Twice."
James blinked. That honestly sounded more like a bragging teenager to him than anything endearing. Regulus glanced at him, then faced the fading stars again.
"You came to me. You wanted to tell me about that catch. No one ever ... back then barely anybody talked to me unless they wanted something. My friends, my family and then you just," he made an 'I don't know' gesture with his arms. "You were the only good thing I had. You saved my life more than once. Every time I almost gave up I thought maybe, maybe some day I'll see you again. Maybe one more time I can be as happy as when you chose me to break your ankle for."
James swallowed the tightness in his throat, "sprained, I didn't break- Au! Okay, okay, broke my ankle for you. Better?"
"Much."
He bent down. Kissed Regulus's cheek, the corners of his mouth, his lips. This was it, he thought. This was the moment he'd always think about when he cast a patronus.
His happiest moment.
His everything.
They stayed there until the sun rose, as they did most nights. Regulus, the star, fading into orange hues. Regulus, the man, fallen asleep on James's chest. Held like he never had been before.
James ran a hand through his black, soft hair. He'd buy a bed, he decided. A small one, more a couch, and he'd put it right here. Then Regulus could bathe in the sun during the day, watch the stars at night and never freeze.
And one day, he knew, he'd sit there alone, watch out for Regulus's star and wait for the moment he'd see him again. Wait to love him, just like he had his whole entire life.