Chapter 14
Someone was yelling at him to wake up. Shaking him. Light assaulted his eyes once he pried them open.
"Thank Merlin you're awake." Sirius said. He sounded wrong. Out of breath. Like he ran the three miles to James's apartment without stopping once. Or like he was terrified.
James sat up, instinctively reached out towards his friend standing next to his bed. His eyes were bloodshot, glassy. "What's wrong?"
And then Sirius said the two words James never thought he'd hear. Two words that shook him to his core and made his lungs stop and his heart race all at once. "It's Regulus."
"What? What do you mean?" He was out of bed in a heartbeat. Shoved on his glasses, pulled on his trousers, socks, then stopped and looked at Sirius who was standing in the middle of his room, white as a sheet. "Pads!" James grabbed him by the shoulders, "what happened?"
Sirius blinked. "He- There was a Patronus. His Patronus, he- James I think he's in trouble. Like big time trouble."
James squeezed his shoulders and grabbed a sweatshirt. "Where is he?"
"In a cave."
~~~
They took too long.
That was his first thought. They took too long with figuring out the message and getting to the location and crossing the goddamn sea.
It was so cold in there. Ice cold and wet and awful and there was a crumpled form laying on their side near the entrance.
We took too long and now Regulus is dead.
Sirius gasped beside him, hurtled forward, but all James could focus on was the trickle of blood from Regulus's mouth, the marks on his wrists. His hair, still short but longer, so much longer from when they last saw each other. Shaggy and soaking wet, spilling over his forehead, his closed eyes.
Sirius curses at him to, help goddamnit. But he couldn't. James physically couldn't move. Couldn't fathom carrying the too still body of Regulus Black out here, much like he couldn't fathom the sky without the sun.
Sirius was screaming now, that James needed to move, that time was running, that they needed to get to St. Mungos and that was when it clicked in James's brain. Dead people didn't go to Sankt Mungos.
~~~
James ran a hand through his hair for the upend time, took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He could bare remember how they got here. Just that their appearance had been bad enough for three healers to arrive within a minute. No, not their appearance. Regulus's appearance.
James couldn't blame them. Regulus had looked barely alive, his face gaunt, his body mangled, like he hadn't eaten in weeks. Blood still pouring from him, dripping on the hospital floors ... James sucked in a breath, stood up, paced a few steps.
Everything seemed so surreal. He couldn't believe that it was Regulus they had just seen. His Regulus. Somebody he had lost so long ago. Looked for for ages. And eventually sealed away along with all the painful memories that accompanied him.
Regulus had disappeared two days after breaking up with James and it had broken his heart. He hadn't returned after easter and even when him and Sirius started searching he knew deep down they wouldn't find anything. Regulus had been long gone. And he wouldn't be found unless he wanted to be.
And so all James could do was wait. Wait and hope and never tell anyone what it meant to him. It ate him alive. Chipped away at his soul as he had to laugh it away. As he had to look at Sirius, help him get over Regulus's disappearance while at the same time nearly loosing his mind over it.
He still dreamed of him to this day. Sometimes he woke soaked in sweat, with nightmares of Regulus dead or injured or just gone. But the worst dreams weren't the nightmares.
Because sometimes he woke with a smile on his lips, the feeling of lingering warmth in his arms, a tingle down his spine as he could still feel Regulus in his arms. And then reality caught up with him, and he was alone in his apartment, his smile fading, the cold creeping in.
James was so lost in his thoughts he almost missed Sirius walking past him. "Pads!" He jumped up, walked over to his ghostly pale friend. "Sirius ..."
"Jamie," Sirius croaked, then swallowed. "You're still here."
"Of course I'm still here Pads. What happened? Is Regulus ... Is he going to be alright?"
Sirius swallowed again, his eyes wide, his skin a sickly pale colour. He stiffly walked towards the few chairs, beckoning James along, who sat close, facing his friend.
"Sirius is he ..."
"He'll be alright," Sirius said running a hand over his mouth, "they said he should be alright. He ... swallowed some kind of potion. And he's ... injured. A little. Not bad. Like scrapes and stuff."
James nodded carefully, "good, that's good. Right? That's ... what ... Pads is there more?"
Sirius glanced at him then sucked in a sharp breath. "He has ... scars ... Hypertrophic scars they called it they're ... James they're everywhere. On his back, his legs, his fucking stomach." Sirius's hand began to shake and James grabbed it. "They said the reason he's still sleeping isn't the potion or a coma or anything. It's because he's so exhausted he can't wake up. They said there are signs of his bones being broken, regrown and then re-broken I-" his voice broke. Sirius buried his face in his hands. A broken sob tore from his throat.
James reached out, gripped his shoulders. Mumbling comforting nonsense he pulled gently at Sirius until he had him resting against his chest. He pushed down his own nausea, the urge to scream, to run into that room and shake Regulus awake and demand to know who the fuck did this to you. Where do I find them?
He ran his fingers through the tangles of Sirius's hair, a familiar motion, although one they hadn't needed in a long long while. "He's home now Pads, we'll take care of him now." He whispered and hoped like hell he too could believe that some day.