Runaway
☆Sirius☆
Sirius can't take it anymore.
It has been days since Sirius ran away, he is in a damn fucking forest, all alone and tired, and doesn't even remember actually for how long, but he knows that it is too much for him to stand another day on the run.
He ran away for the best; he knows that, if he didn't, he would have ended up dead, killed by his parent, or worse, by his sister, seeing how things are going lately.
But still, it was tiring, he started by walking no stop for at least two days, he thinks, and then they found him, on one of his rare stops to sleep -although he didn't want to, he did have to sleep- then they attacked him and now he has a deep wound in his abdomen, hopefully, it isn't that serious.
From that day on he ran, and ran until now.
Still, he tries to keep running; he can't allow himself to stop and let them reach him again.
The deep smell of dirt and dead leaves circling him and entering his nostrils deep into his brain to a level that makes him sick.
It is the typical smell of autumn, even if it is probably deep summer or spring; he doesn't keep track of seasons; it is useless at this point; they come and go at their own pace. It snows when it should be summer and in the ipotetic winter it is so hot that you can't even breathe sometimes.
Well, to be honest, even the length of each is different from how he remembers being as a kid; sometimes one can last for just two days to leave the place to another one, and other times one can last for whole years.
It had happened to him once; the first winter after the start of the apocalypse, he was ten and his sister eight when it first started.
When it ended, they were twelve and ten, and it was time for another winter that eventually didn't come, leaving his place to the hottest summer ever.
So, as it is easy to assume, keeping track of the season was useless and a way of sticking to old traditions from a different world.
Some did continue to scream every time a season was out of time, coming early, late, or even didn't show at all: "*season* IS LATE WE SHOULD SACRIFICE SSOMEONE SO GOD WON'T BE MAD AT US ANYMORE" or " *season* IS EARLY BRING THE SACRIFICE WE HAVE TO LET GOD KNOWS THAT WE ARE ASKING FOR FORGIVMENT, OR HE WILL KEEP ON HATING US." or somethime also "*season* DIDN'T SHOW AT ALL WE HAVE TO KILL THE SACRIFICE... and bla bla bla."
They always screamed. Sirius didn't know why, but it was fucking annoying, like, I know that it should be snowing, and instead, I'm melting; you're not Nostradamus, come on.
Also, the sacrifice part was something that made him sick.
See, his old community was really devoted, which isn't something bad at all, or at least it wasn't until they started killing whoever questioned their beliefs. That is also why Sirius never told anyone that he wasn't a believer, he did care about his head being attached to his body quite a bit, thanks.
The worst thing, though, was the sacrifice part; it started with small animals like rabbits and lambs.
He was still a kid, so it was brutal to him and his sister too, but he was forced to be strong, and he did, in fact, become used to the little animals being executed for no reason, even if he still felt a bit sad.
When they changed to bigger animals Sirius almost didn't notice the difference.
His sister did; she used to start crying at the brief mention, so Sirius had to take her away so their parents wouldn't know, or else they would end up going to bed without dinner for a bunch of days.
The point when it got out of hand and Sirius stopped accepting it was when they started to sacrifice people. They used to justify it by saying that God requested it, but if God was so beneficent he wouldn't allow something as brutal as that.
At some point, they started making farms of people, slaves that were taken as kids and taught where their place was as soon as they started walking.
At that point, Sirius was already rebellious, and he was trying to take his sister into it, too;
That was the only time he managed it.
One day, they escaped through a window and walked to the slave apartment, where they found a boy and his twin sister around their age.
Their mother doesn't know about that, but from that day on, they started sneaking out every day, from both parts, to see each other.
Well, the story was longer, but it is not the time to remember good old trauma.
Only the memory of his sister crying because she knew her best friends -and probably the only friends she ever had- were going to die, killed by his dad's sword.
It was sad and he doesn't even know if the two twins are still alive or if his sister got caught while he was out on the run.
He sincerely hopes not, even if she is an asshole and the twins probably still believe that they deserve it and they are just animals worth nothing in a different form.
That still makes Sirius fucking sad, but hey, he has other problems right now.
He is pretty sure he got a cold, his head hurts, he feels dizzy, and his whole body feels like it is burning.
Maybe, just maybe, it would be easier if he let himself die already; it would be less painful.
Considering that it may be the moment to review good old trauma.
Isn't it what people usually do on a deathbed?
Or do they think about their happy memories?
Well, Sirius doesn't have happy memories; his are mixed with the trauma, so it is the same thing.
Be kind to him, he never was almost dead.
When he ran away, he didn't think of the AFTER; what was he gonna do after he was far enough from his family encampment?
He doesn't even know how to survive, to haunt, or things like that.
When the apocalypse came seven years ago, Sirius was just a kid; he was like nine or something, and no one ever thought about teaching him how to survive in the wild with no accommodations.
One day, everything was good, then the other wars started, and then the earth turned against all humanity. It started raining nonstop for whole months, then hurricanes and tsunamis hit all of the world, and people died. Then a famine came, and with it, illness, and then people started to freak out and kill each other.
After that, the only people that survived were the ones that made an encampment in a bunker. Otherwise, they ended up killed by some other nomad or frozen out to death, or by not having any food, or for the rain, or for God knows what.
From what he knows, no one else is alive except for his family community down in a bunker. And for what Sirius cares is better, he prefers to be alone in the world than back with people like them.
He didn't start running to trade a prison for another.
But deep down he knows that he won't be here for too long.
He feels his legs starting to give out and his whole body in pain.
Everything starts to sping.
He suddenly feels overwhelmed.
He can feel and hear more than he wants to.
The wind on his skin is too cold for him to manage.
He wants to put on a coat but it feels impossible.
He is confused, why is he both hot and cold at the same time?
He can hear the tweet of a bird making fun of him from the distance, it is probably laughing at how pathetic he is.
Or maybe they reached him.
They are only trying to make distractions, Sirius needs to run, as fast as he can.
Run
Run
Run...
And then the ground hits him, right in the face, and everything spins; suddenly he is so tired he just wants to close his eyes and sleep.
But he knows, he fucking knows that he can't sleep because if he does so, he won't wake up again.
Sirius tries hard not to fall asleep, he doesn't know how long he has been there, aching on the ground, hoping that death won't be too painful.
And then he hears it.
"Try to find something, anything that could be useful."
It is a bit muffled, so he knows that they are far away; it will give him some time to get up and hide.
It is his family army, and they won't be considerate of his life if they find him.
But even if he tries very hard to stay quiet, he grumbles, trying to get up.
He can't get any part of his body to do what he wants it to do.
He is sweating, and wimpering in pain, but nothing works out to get up.
He hears the voices coming near him, and he is scared.
Oh, he is so scared that he starts crying; maybe it's because of the pain, or maybe it is because he is tired and just wants to die in peace.
He hadn't cried in years, since when he was a kid, he was taught that crying was for the weak, and he wasn't. He was the heir of one of the wealthiest families, and as it, he shouldn't show any sign of weakness.
But in this situation, he can't take it anymore; he actually misses his sister, even if he can't stand her anymore, because she has become so much like their mother.
But he remembers, he remembers the times when she was still a little kid, scared about all that was happening.
Crying because their mother punished her, trying every day to look a bit more like his brother.
Then he doesn't know what happened.
One day, out of the blue, she was a totally different person, a shameless copy of their mother.
And in years of pain and horrendous things he has seen, that was the worst, seeing his loved, oh so loved, sister, fade away and can't save her.
That day he ran away to never come back.
But now he misses her.
Every version and part of her.
He would accept anything that would give him a last glimpse of his sister before dying.
And just as he was thinking this, he heard again the familiar voice of before, now near him.
"Help, help; someone helps me; there is a kid in the woods; he looks like he is in pain; we need to help him, please!" she shouts.
She sounds neither too near nor too far. The voice is familiar, but he can't get ahead of who it resembles.
Then Sirius hears her coming near, and with a shaky voice, she says, "Don't worry, help is coming, and everything will be fine" Her voice is so low that it takes Sirius some time to get ahead of what she is saying.
He knows that obviously is someone who works for his parents and is here to kill him, but he is so sad and feels so lonely, and for now, she looks like she hasn't recognized him, so maybe, until someone else comes, he can relax and enjoy some company.
Sirius can't recognize her, but maybe she is a new recruit, that's why they don't know each other, but she doesn't look so young, or maybe it is just the fever and dizziness that don't let him see in a too good way, and he actually knows her.
But the thing that doesn't kick in for him is that SHE doesn't know who Sirius is because he was the heir, and probably, the propaganda to find him might have shoved some photo of him.
Did he change that much?
Maybe it has been much more time than he thought it was since he ran away.
Did his sister change a lot too?
He doesn't want to think about that; he just wants to remember her as the cute little girl she used to be before their mother took her ahead.
Then, the girl with him sits down beside him and takes his head in her lap.
The comfort that this action alone made him feel was so much that he started sobbing out loud.
And then she started singing a lullaby.
That's when it hit him.
The resemblances of the voice.
It was his sister, his beautiful sister, with her beautiful voice, singing the lullaby he used to sing to her.
As some time passed, with them staying like that, her singing in the best way possible, and Sirius trying not to cry too loud, he started to feel tired.
Maybe he could fall asleep with no problem.
Maybe God existed and was blessing him with his last wish.
Maybe he was going to go to heaven; after all, he wasn't a bad person; his parents made him to be one.
Or maybe hell, he had to pay for the sins he committed, parents involved or not. But it would be better than the void he prospected anyway.
He wished for a glimpse of his sister, and he got it; now he can die in peace for what he cares about; God, if it exists, gave him what he wanted, so now he doesn't care where he is going next.
So he listens to the angelic voice, relaxing, trying to ignore the sore pain in his whole body, with his eyelids heavy.
And so, as she sings that perfect song, he falls asleep for the last time in his life.