The party
Draco was walking around the lake; alone.
He was cursing himself for not wearing a jumper. The weather was freezing, he could swear that even the lake had almost turned into ice.
He sat on the floor, his back against a big old tree. The wind on his face, making his nose flush and his hair messy. The view was nice. He enjoyed spending time alone, even though — he didn’t want to admit it — he enjoyed Harry’s company even more. He loved spending time together, smiling and chatting about all things, listening to music … everything was so nice.
He had his emerald notebook and a pencil in one hand. He opened the book and began writing.
‘ Dear Harry,
I want to tell you so many things, a lot has been going through my mind lately.
To be honest, I never thought I would find myself writing something to you. Not because I hate you, because I don’t, but because we were never friends.
We had always this sort of … complicated relationship. I have to admit it was never hate, at least not from me. It was the way you had rejected me. I was so hurt after that. The thing I was most excited about going to Hogwarts was meeting you, and then, when you chose Weasley over me I couldn’t believe it. I know I was wrong, the things I said and did, I apologise. I realise that I was doing a terrible mistake by judging people, and I’m sorry.
You’ve said that I have changed, but I haven’t. Not really. I am still the same disgusting, selfish and rude person that you met before. I don’t feel any different, I don’t deserve your forgiveness, that’s why I’m not asking for it.
I’m saying that I’m sorry, just because I want you to know that I really am. Not because I’m asking for your forgiveness. I understand that it is impossible for you to forgive me after everything I’ve done. You have your reasons, and I get it. I was a total prat back then, still am.
So just for you to know, I am deeply sorry.
I do want you to forgive me, if you’re willing to; but I understand if you don’t. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you. I’m not good enough to be around someone like you.
I wish I could say this to you, in front of you, but I know you’ll tell me that I am going mad and that I do deserve forgiveness. Even though that’s rubbish.
I—’
Damn it.
He ripped the page and threw it. He didn’t like it.
He- he just— he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know what to feel. He wants to beg Harry for forgiveness, but so many things could happen if he does that.
Option one. Probably the worst one. — And the most likely to happen — Harry will say that he can’t forgive him for everything that he has done. Draco will understand, of course he will. He wouldn’t forgive himself either, but there’s just something inside him that wants Harry to forgive him. To comfort him. What a selfish prat he is.
Option two. Harry doesn’t say anything and walks away from him. Forever. He asks McGonagall to change roommate and that’s it. He’ll never talk to Draco again.
Option tree. Harry actually does forgive him. His good heart makes him take stupid choices, like forgive his bully. Damn it. He doesn’t deserve it. He’ll never be good enough to even be near Harry, and by allowing Harry to be near him just proves how selfish he is. How bad he is.
He inhales and exhales. Deep breaths to calm down. He’s stressing over nothing. Something that has not happened yet — but could — he reminds himself. Stop. He closes his eyes and breathes slowly.
Relax.
He thinks about Harry, about his smile, his eyes, his hair, his skin, his scent, his scar, his stupid round glasses, his laugh. Everything about him. He finally calms down. He had fallen so deeply that just to think of him could help.
It was staring to rain. Tiny rain drops on his hair.
He grabbed his pencil one more time and began writing.
‘Harry,
I love your eyes, they have a lovely green color if you ask me. And your smile, it’s so bright I think I’ll end up blind. Your hair, that looks like a rats nest most of the time, but fits you surprisingly well; those lovely brown curls. Your scar, that looks like lighting, I know I said you should get a scar removal surgery, don’t listen to me please. I was crazy back then, I love it now, it’s your unique characteristic.
Your stupid round glasses, they are so big they cover almost your entire face. How can you use something so old fashioned? Your scent, that it’s weird, but I enjoy. It’s like smelling chocolate, and cinnamon and strawberries, all at the same time! And sometimes a bit of lemon when you use the soap from the Gryffindor showers.
Your weird taste for food, seriously, how could someone pick chocolate over vanilla? You’re mental.
The way you touch your scar every time you’re worried. How you cover your ears every time Snape gets to close to you — I think that’s why you never listen to anything in class — Snape’s always close to you.
I love everything about you Harry. There’s no one like you. You’re brave, kind, funny, smart, — only when you actually try to use your brain — helpful and a very good person. I admire you Harry Potter. You’re so special, and not just for the scar in your forehead, but for who you actually are. If people could see you in the way I do … If they could pay attention to Harry and not ‘The Boy Who Lived’. You deserve the world Harry.
You-’
He couldn’t finish his last sentence. Not because he wasn’t inspired, talking about Harry was definitely his strength, he had a list about everything he loved about Harry, he could keep writing for ages.
But someone took the notebook from his hands. Panicked, he looked up. Only to meet William, the bloody Gryffindor.
“Give it back you wanker!” He stood up.
William smirked. “Oh Malfoy! Don’t be boring. Let’s see what you were writing here.” He looked at the page where Draco was writing.
Draco tried to catch the book. Unfortunately, William was way taller than him, he was too short to reach it. He just kept trying and watched William’s evil face change to one full of shock.
“YOU FANCY POTTER?!” William said, his eyes widened.
Draco stoped his efforts to reach the notebook and looked away. He could feel so much embarrassment, his face flushed. Rain was strong now. Leaving him soaking wet.
“Wow” A few seconds passed before William continued. “You actually do. Bloody hell! Think about all I could do with this.” The evil smirk on his face appeared again.
Draco froze. He was suddenly feeling dizzy, his stomach sank, his heart beating so fast he swore it was going to explode out of his chest.
“Please don‘t.” Draco begged, ‘cause it was the only thing he could do right now. If his father could see him… he was in a vulnerable position now.
“Is Malfoy saying please? Merlin. Never thought I would hear those words from you. Say it again.” William demanded.
Draco looked to his feet, closed his eyes. “Please.” He said, almost whispering.
“Didn’t catch that.”
“I said please.” He repeated louder.
“Mmm. Let me think.”
Draco waited for a painfully long minute.
William smirked. “I don’t think so Malfoy. Sorry, but I won’t give it back.” He turned.
Just when he was about to leave, Draco grabbed his wrist, forcing him to stop, or trying to.
William pushed him to the floor. He fell with a loud splash. That hurt. He looked at William, who just laughed.
“Enjoy your night Malfoy.” He said sarcastically and ran away.
With his blurry vision and feeling even dizzier, he stood up slowly. He walked towards the castle. He needed to change. His uniform was soaking wet.
***
“Draco?” Harry said when he heard someone knocked the door. He had been waiting for Draco the whole time. He wanted to go look for him, but maybe he just needed some time alone. He needed it too, sometimes. It was normal.
He stood up and unlocked the door. He saw Draco soaked with water.
“What happened to you?” He grinned and raised his eyebrows.
“It started to rain.” He said coldly.
“I could tell.” Harry chuckled.
Draco rolled his eyes and walked past him.
“Hey! Just kidding. Sorry.”
Draco stopped himself. He was being mean with Harry for no reason at all. He was now feeling guilty.
“Sorry, I just — just … not a good day.”
Harry frowned. “Oh. Anything I can do to help?”
“Not really. I- I’ll just take a bath.” He gave Harry a small smile.
Harry felt slightly disappointed. He wanted to spend time with Draco, but he probably needed to change. He was going to catch a cold if he kept wearing that wet uniform.
“Okay.” Harry managed to say. Grinning at Draco.
Draco turned away and locked himself in the bathroom.
He took off his clothes and got into the bath.
He felt the warm water against his skin. It was nice. He closed his eyes and let himself breathe. Then, he felt a lump in his throat, this was so wrong. Harry couldn’t find out about his feelings for him. Draco knows Harry would reject him, he can’t handle that. It would break his heart.
He kept thinking. What could he possibly do? He really fucked up. The only thing he was certain of, was that Harry couldn’t know about this. An idea popped to his head.
Maybe…
Maybe if he pretended he had no affection for Harry, then he wouldn’t notice how much he fancies him. It’s impossible, he knows. Harry already knows he cares for him, but maybe it could work. Show less interest.
That was his idea.
***
Harry noticed something was wrong. Days went by and Draco was almost ignoring him. When they were together he didn’t start the conversation first, like he always used to do; he didn’t even look at Harry sometimes, like he wasn’t there at all.
Harry started wondering if he had done something wrong. But there was absolutely nothing, in fact, he was being the sweetest person to Draco. He cared so much for him that he didn’t mind showing it, he wanted Draco to know that he was safe with him, that he could trust him.
But telling Draco his feelings wasn’t the right thing to do. Harry was a coward there. He was too afraid of making things awkward between them, he liked the way things were, he wanted things to stay like that for a bit longer. It was nice having someone to make you company. Sharing things, listening to music. It was comfortable.
“-arry? Harry?” Hermione snapped.
He had been so busy thinking about Draco he had forgotten for a while that he was siting in the Gryffindor common room with Hermione.
“Sorry ‘Mione.”
“What happened Harry? I’ve noticed you are rather … quiet these days. Your mind is always somewhere else.” She said worried.
“I’m sorry. Nothing happened, it’s just … I-” He closed his mouth. Not knowing what to say next, he had no idea what was happening.
“Is this about Draco?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
“Oh Harry. What happened?” She placed her hand on Harry’s shoulder.
Harry brought his hands to his face. “I don’t know. I mean, everything was fine, and then … I dunno. He’s acting weird. Distant.”
She frowned. “Did you do something? Maybe he’s mad.”
Harry groaned. “I don’t know Hermione. I haven’t done anything, but- but I don’t know. Maybe I did, but I don’t remember.”
“Hmm.” She tilted her head. “I- I’m not sure Harry. If you didn’t do anything then there’s no reason for him to act different. Unless something’s going on with him and he just wants to … be alone or something.”
“It could be. But I don’t understand.” He looked at her. “Why is he hiding things from me? If something’s wrong I want him to trust me, talk to me.”
“If he keeps things to himself that’s his decision, you can’t force him to tell you everything Harry. I understand you want him to, but calm down. I bet nothing’s wrong between you.”
“Yeah… yes, you’re right. You’re right ‘Mione. I’m just being paranoid.”
She grinned at him.
Then, they both looked up because they hear a loud noise from the door. They saw Ron panting.
“What is it Ronald?” Hermione stood up.
Harry just looked at Ron trying to calm down.
Ron exhaled. “I-” Another deep breath. “I c-came here as soon as could. William-” He inhaled.
“Breathe Ronald!” She grabbed his arm and walked to sit next to Harry.
“Wi-William told me… he found like a- a diary I think. Or something like that, don’t remember what he said.” Another deep breath.
Harry thought this was going to take ages.
“Well, the thing is.”
Another breath. Damn it.
“He said it was from Helena, the Hufflepuff girl, you know her?”
“Yes.” Hermione and Harry said at the same time.
“She wrote something about you Harry.”
“What?” He frowned.
“She’s in love with you.” He smiled.
Had Harry heard wrong? Since when? How? “Wha- But I’ve never even talked with her!”
“I could introduce you.” He said.
“Ronald I don’t think that’s wise…” Hermione said.
“But why? It’s-”
“Who said I was even into her in the first place?” Harry yelled.
“Mate, this is your chance! She’s pretty, smart, give it a go!” Ron said.
“Absolutely not!” Harry said.
“But-”
“Ron, no!”
“Harry-”
“I SAID NO!” He shouted and a few lights exploded.
Hermione covered her head with her hands. Ron was silent.
“I- I’m sorry. But I just- I don’t want to.”
“It’s alright Harry.” Hermione said and gave him a weak smile.
“I- I’ll go now. Goodbye.”
“Goodbye Harry.” Hermione stood up and hugged him quickly.
Harry walked away and Hermione waved at him. Once he was closing the door he could see Hermione glaring at Ron, he was definitely going to be yelled at.
He walked to his room. He found Draco reading on his bed.
“Oh, hi.” He said.
Draco didn’t answer. Just looked at him and kept reading his book.
“So… how was your day?” He asked.
“Fine.”
Harry felt disappointed. “Oh, alright.”
He picked up some of his books and started to do his Transfiguration homework.
None of them talked for the rest of the day.
***
‘Dear father,
I understand. I’ll behave properly and I’ll do everything you want me to. I’m looking forward to meet Astoria, she sounds like a lovely lady. I’m also excited to go home and see you and mother.
By the way, please tell her not to worry about me, I’m doing just fine here at Hogwarts.
Best regards,
Your son, Draco Malfoy.’
He sent the letter when his father’s owl came again. One week until going home for Christmas.
He didn’t want to go. He wished he could stay here at Hogwarts, but his parents would never allow such thing, besides, they were already planning his meeting with the GreenGrass family. There was nothing he could do.
He also missed Harry. A lot. He wanted to hug Harry, listen to music together, talk with him for hours; but he couldn’t do that. Harry would know about his feelings for him, and he couldn’t let that happen.
He went to the Great Hall. All students - including Harry - were there, eating and laughing. He wanted to laugh too, feel something, but he was just numb.
He went to the Slytherin table, he sat between Blaise and Pansy.
“Oh. Hey Draco! Haven’t seen you in a while. How you doing?” Pansy asked while she took a big spoon of chocolate pudding.
“Fantastic. You?” He tried to sound interested, he really tried.
“I’m fine! Just that Blaise’s in a mood.”
Blaise rolled his eyes. “I am not!”
“Of course you are, darling. You always are!”
Blaise scoffed. “I can’t believe this. You’re the one who’s always in a mood. Not me! You are always complaining about something, like when you get a pimple. It’s not someone else’s fault you shove chocolate pudding to your face! Try eating healthier next time!”
Pansy dropped her spoon. “You did not just say that.”
“Oh I did!”
“You big wanker! I’m not-” And she went off, yelling at Blaise for being a dick.
Draco just stared at the two of them fighting. Not knowing how to stop them - not that he really cared - he looked down to his plate. Smashed potatoes, roast beef, peas and vanilla pudding for dessert. He didn’t feel like eating. He grabbed his fork, played with his food and then placed it on the table again.
His stomach was roaring, begging for food. But Draco couldn’t eat. There was a lump in his throat, something telling him that no one would want him if he gained weight. He couldn’t allow himself to eat.
Harry was across the room, he was staring at Draco since the moment he walked inside. He wanted to go there, sit next to him and talk about anything. Just be with him.
He noticed Draco was playing with his food, not really eating anything. He stared a bit more, he realised he was thin. He hadn’t been like that last year, or at the beginning of this year. Of course he was taller, but he wasn’t that skinny.
And he had barely seen Draco eating at Hogwarts. He could swear Draco wasn’t even eating in the first place. It was driving him mad, he was so worried about him. He just wished Draco would tell him what was going on, but he never did.
Draco looked up, his eyes met Harry’s. Oh no. Had Harry been staring this whole time? How embarrassing. Then, he felt dizzy, his vision blurring. His stomach twisted even more.
“Guys … I- I gotta go.” He stood up, feeling ill. He walked out of there as fast as he could.
Harry launched himself out of his seat. “Sorry guys, gotta go.” He said, and without waiting an answer he followed Draco, who looked paler than usual, sick.
“Draco wait!” Harry called for him.
Draco didn’t stop, but he slowed down a bit. His head spinning.
“Hey! Slow down.” Harry grabbed his wrist. “Are you okay?” He looked at him, he was paler, he looked like he wanted to throw up. He was so worried about him.
“I- I’m fine, Harry.”
“You sure? You don’t look fine.” He said shyly.
“Yeah…” he whispered. “Please let go of me.”
“Yeah, sorry.”
Draco walked a few steps. Feeling even dizzier than before.
“Draco?” Harry asked.
And that’s all Draco heard before he fell unconscious to the floor. Fortunately, Harry caught him just before he touched the floor.
“Draco?!” He touched Draco’s cheeks.
“Draco! What’s wrong?!”
“Oh my god!” He shook Draco.
“W-wake up … p-please… Draco!”
He took Draco in his arms, carried him on the bride style and took him to the Hospital Wing.
“You’re going to be okay. I p-promise.” He sniffed while he walked.
***
Draco woke up at night.
He had a bad feeling about this. He looked around, he saw white walls and curtains around the bed. He was definitely in the Hospital Wing.
He also saw Harry sleeping on a chair. His glasses were falling from his nose due to his bad head position. His neck was going to hurt when he wakes up.
He tried to leave. He moved around the bed, trying to stand up. He had a headache and he was clearly still dizzy from before, even though he doesn’t quite remember what happened or how he got there. He just remembers feeling exhausted and dizzy and then … and then nothing at all. Next thing he knows is that he was here, Harry sleeping in a chair beside him.
“Draco?” Harry said. He had heard the movement of the sheets when Draco tried to leave. His eyes opened quickly, looking around for Draco.
“Where are you going?” Harry asked concerned.
Draco looked at Harry. “Harry, what happened?”
Harry sighed. “You fainted.”
“Oh.” His cheeks turned scarlet. “Great.”
Harry shook his head. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Draco. I … I was worried about you.”
“I’m sorry.”
Harry gave him a small smile. “No apologies.”
“Fine then.” Draco said, cheeks still pink.
“Do you … remember anything at all?”
“Not really. I know I was filling ill, then my head was spinning, my vision blurring and … and that’s all.”
“Yeah… you actually did look very ill. When I saw you falling you scared the hell out of me… caught you just before you hit the floor.”
Draco flushed even more. Damn it. “Oh… umm- thank you. For catching me, that is.”
“You’re welcome.”
They both remained in silence, not knowing what to say. Until Harry spoke.
“Can I ask you something?”
“You just did.” Draco teased.
“Ha ha. But seriously … can I?”
Harry looked concerned.
“Of course Harry.”
Harry flushed a bit. He stood up and walked towards the bed, sitting next to Draco. “Why … why were you ignoring me?”
Oh shit. Draco had no answer for that. What was he supposed to say?
“I - I wasn’t ignoring you. W-what do you mean?”
“You were. Or well, not exactly ignoring me, but you were acting different.” A few seconds passed before Harry spoke again. “Did I do something that bothered you?”
Draco wanted to hug him so badly. Harry looked sad and confused, like he was being punished when he did nothing wrong. None of this was Harry’s fault. He wished he could explain, just tell Harry everything, but he was a coward, he couldn’t do it.
“No, you didn’t.”
“Then what is it?” Harry asked.
“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong.”
Silence.
“Draco?”
“Yeah?”
“Did you eat anything today?”
Draco froze. He always hated when they talked about eating, or how thin and ugly he looked.
“I - why are you asking?”
Harry watched Draco’s face, he opened his mouth and closed it again, like he was carefully looking for the right words to say what he wanted to say.
“It’s just Madam Pomfrey said you could’ve fainted because you hadn’t eaten. So… I was just wondering.”
Hmm. Now that Draco thinks about it, it does make sense. He had heard about people fainting because they starved themselves, that they felt dizzy all the time, ill … but - no, he couldn’t be that type of person. “Well, of course I ate. Maybe I was just tired and I passed out for a while.”
“I don’t think-” He sighed. “Never mind. Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked concerned. He wanted Draco to be safe and loved and happy.
“I am, Harry. Don’t worry about me.”
“Alright … goodnight then.” Harry smiled weakly.
He sat again on the uncomfortable chair. Draco stared at him like he was going mad. “What?” Harry asked.
“Why don’t you go to your room? I can tell that chair is not very comfortable.”
Harry looked at the chair and at his body. The chair was, indeed, not very comfortable. But he didn’t want to leave Draco alone, if sleeping on the chair was the only option he had, he was going to take it.
“I want to stay with you. Make sure nothing will happen.” He said shyly. His cheeks heating on.
Draco felt his heart warming, the look on his face softening while his cheeks turned pink again.
He hesitated, but his heart was begging him to be soft with Harry. “You could … sleep here.” He said lowly, so lowly Harry almost didn’t hear him.
Almost.
“W-what?”
Draco had never been so nervous before, he felt like sweating just because of how embarrassed and scared he was. “I- I mean, if-f you don’t want to… you c-could stay there- actually, s-sorry, it was a stupid idea. I-”
“No no no no!” Harry said quickly. “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just- I was surprised, that’s all.” He chuckled.
“Oh, o-okay.”
Harry stood up. Draco shifted to the other side of the bed, leaving plenty big space for Harry in the bed.
Harry tucked himself under the sheets, being extremely careful not to touch Draco by accident. None of them said a word for a very long time.
Draco had turned to his side, his back facing Harry. His heart beating fast while he heard Harry’s breath.
“Harry? Are you awake?” He asked.
No answer.
He turned his head just a little, so he could see Harry. Harry was asleep, looking so peaceful and gorgeous. Then, Draco chuckled a bit, Harry had slept with his glasses on, he thought it was weird if he’d let Harry sleep with his glasses on, but it’d be even weirder if he’d take Harry’s glasses off. But he did anyway.
He slowly took Harry’s glasses away, his finger brushing against Harry’s hair just a bit. He flushed. Then, he turned to his side again, thinking about how could Harry be so kind to him after he’d practically pushed him away. That was just another proof of how big Harry’s heart was and how kind he was. There was no one like Harry.
Few minutes later, he was asleep too.
***
“Draco c’mon! You have to go!” Harry said.
It was Thursday.
After the moment they had in the Hospital Wing, they talked more often. Even though, Draco still kept his distance. Trying not to seem so attached to Harry.
There was a big Christmas party tomorrow. Some older Gryffindor guys decided to create this party, since they were leaving for the Christmas break on Sunday, they thought it was a good idea to celebrate. Practically everyone was invited. The Weasley twins told Ron; Ron told Hermione and Hermione told Harry. Harry, of course, wanted Draco to go with him — not like a date — Harry reminded himself, Draco could find it weird, just like … two friends having fun. Draco, obviously, refused to go.
“I won’t go Harry. Most of the people that are going are Gryffindors, they’ll probably won’t want a Slytherin boy going around there.” Draco rolled his eyes.
“They won’t even notice you’re there. Besides, they never said they don’t allow Slytherins.”
“You are so stubborn. I said no.”
“Please! I’ll be there with you, we’ll have fun!” Harry begged.
“No.”
“Please, please, please, please, please…”
Draco rolled his eyes. “Would you stop that?!”
“Please, please, please…”
“Merlin! You’re so annoying.” He scoffed. “Fine. I’ll think about it.”
Harry wrapped Draco into a tight hug. “THANK YOUUU!” he said excited.
“I’m not saying yes, you big prat! Just saying I’ll think about it. Don’t get such high hopes.”
Harry chuckled. “Alright alright.”
“Can we please now drop the subject?”
“Fine. What do you want to talk about?” Harry asked.
“I don’t know. Whatever you think it’s interesting enough for me to know.”
Harry stopped for a second. Thinking.
“Oh! I know! Ron came the other day, saying William told him that he found like a diary or something that said something juicy about me.”
Draco froze. His whole body was shaking now. That must be his diary. No chance he was talking about someone else’s. That’s it, he just waited for the rejection.
“Draco?” Harry asked. “Did you hear me?”
“Yeah…” He was going to apologise for being stupid, for his feeling, for everything, when Harry cut him off.
“It was Helena. The Hufflepuff girl, you know her?”
What was Harry talking about? “Yes?” Draco said.
“Seems like she’s in love with me. That’s what William told Ron.”
So that meant William never said anything about him. But, why? He said he was going to use it against him. Something was definitely not right, he had a bad feeling about this.
“Oh.”
“Was that good enough for you to hear?” Harry teased.
“S-sure.” Draco thought he was looking paler than usual, he got a heart attack less than a minute before.
“Is something wrong?”
“Everything’s fine. I’ll just go out for a bit. Forgot something in the Slytherin common room.” He walked away before Harry could answer.
Odd, Harry thought. Draco was barely at the Slytherin common room, or at least that’s what he thought. Draco never mentioned it at all. Never mind. He had to think about what to wear for this party.
***
The time of the party finally arrived.
“Draco? Why aren’t you ready? The party begins in…” Harry looked at his watch. “30 minutes.”
Draco was laying on the bed. “I said I would think about it. Just finished thinking, guess what? My answer’s still no.” He smirked.
Harry threw a pillow at him. “You prat! I’m going to leave right now. I’ll wait for you there and you’ll better show up. Understood?”
“So bossy Harry.”
“Shut up!” Harry slammed the door.
Draco chuckled to himself. Damn it. He didn’t want to go. Of course he had nothing better to do, but a party full of bloody Gryffindors … he’d rather stay and do nothing in his room.
But he had to go. Just for Harry.
He grabbed his favourite black suit and took a bath.
When he got out of the bathroom he looked at his watch and he was already ten minutes late, Harry was going to murder him.
He put on his belt, combed his hair until it looked perfectly flat and put on his favourite cologne. Then, he left in a rush.
Harry was sitting on a chair at an empty table. Everyone was dancing and having fun, while he, in the other hand, was waiting for Draco to show up, he was now twenty minutes late. He knew how stubborn Draco was, but he really thought he was going to come.
He was disappointed, now the party was ruined for him. Not even a good song could cheer him up, he thought of saying an excuse to anyone he knew and leave the place, but he had only been there for twenty minutes, it was way too early for him to leave.
He stared at all the people dancing, laughing and having a good time. Lot of them were kissing and hugging. He wished he could do that with Draco.
Then, on the corner of his eye, he saw no else but Helena coming closer, walking towards him.
“Hi Harry!” She said while she took a seat in front of him.
“Hello Helena.” He said. The girl was clearly drunk, and he had no interest in talking to her.
“How you doing? I noticed you were here… all by yourself. Thought you might want some company.” She giggled.
Ugh, he really wanted to leave now. “Oh thank you.” He said instead. “But… to be honest, I was just about to leave.”
“Oh, then I can go with you. I’ll walk you to the castle.”
She wasn’t giving up. “Sure. Why not?” He smiled awkwardly.
She giggled and held his hand. Guiding him out of the place.
Harry hated this moment so much. He wanted to push her away, but she was drunk and he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Even though, she was hurting him. Her tight grip on his hand was nearly stopping his blood circulation, he couldn’t feel his hand anymore.
“Well, here we are.” He let go out of his hand — with a bit of struggle — and gave her a soft smile. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything you want Harry.” She said, stepping closer.
Harry stepped backwards. “Er- why did you write on your diary about me? I mean, since when do you … you know, like me?”
She giggled. “What are you talking about you silly.”
Harry frowned. “What do you mean? The diary that William found…”
“No idea what you’re talking about. But you’re pretty. I’ll see you tomorrow. I have to go back to the party, don’t miss me too much.”
Harry wanted to laugh about the last part, he was glad she was leaving.
Too busy with his own thoughts that he didn’t realised when she leaned closer to him.
She kissed him. On the mouth!
Eww! It was disgusting. Harry wanted to push her away, and this time, nothing was going to stop him, but just before he could she pulled away.
“Goodbye Harry.” She giggled and placed her hand on his chest.
Harry wanted to throw up. He had never been more disgusted in his life! Ugh.
“Goodbye.” His lips pressed into a straight line.
She giggled again — seriously, what was wrong with her and her giggles? — and went back in.
Harry felt a wave of relief. This moment of torture was finally over, he could obliaviate himself so he would never have to think about this again and go to see Draco on their room.
But when he turned around, ready to leave; he saw Draco standing completely still in front of him. Looking so handsome in his black suit, but his eyes were red and he had tears on his cheeks.
Draco saw him and walked away immediately. Harry could hear sobs coming from him.
“Draco, what’s wrong?” He asked, following him.
Draco just walked faster.
“Hold on! What is going on?!” Harry ran trying to catch him.
He grabbed Draco’s wrist.
“What is it? Are you okay?” He asked concerned.
“No, I’m not okay. Now leave me alone!” Draco yelled.
Harry frowned. “What did I do? What happened?!”
Draco scoffed. “You never know anything don’t you!?”
“I- I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”
“You just kissed that girl! In front of me! Why would you do that?” Draco cried.
“I didn’t- she kissed me! And I didn’t know you were watching!”
“But you let her!” Draco tried to walk away again.
“I don’t understand. Why is this upsetting you so much?!” Harry said, stopping him from walking away.
“Because I fancy you, you bloody idiot!” Draco said angrily.
Harry’s mind stopped working. Maybe his ears as well, because there was no way he heard that right.
“What?”
“I like you, okay? I’m sorry but that’s how I feel.” Draco’s eyes watered. “And I- I wrote the fucking diary! Because I was trying to clear my mind, but then William took it away from me and I - I didn’t know what to do. So I tried to ignore you, so you wouldn’t know my feelings for you.” He scoffed.
“But I failed ‘cause it was so obvious and now you know, and I’m sorry I had to ruin things between us- but I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore…”
Draco sobbed and hid his face with his hands.
What did just happen? Draco returned Harry’s feelings?
“Draco I-”
“Stop Harry. I know you don’t feel the same way, and I get it, I accept it. I- I understand-”
“Draco-”
“You’ll never feel the same way about me, and that’s fine. I don’t even deserve to be your friend in the first place, it’s a miracle we even are, why would I expect to be something more-”
“Draco-”
“And I’m sorry. If you don’t want to talk to me it’s fine. I’ll leave you alone, but please don’t. I love spending time with you and I can’t live without you and I know I’m so stupid for feeling this way but I-”
“DRACO WOULD YOU SHUT UP?!” Harry yelled, because truly, it seemed like Draco wouldn’t stop talking and let him finish.
Draco shut up immediately. He looked so hurt, so broken, so devastated it made Harry’s heart ache.
“I like you too, Draco…” He said it out loud. He finally did. “A little too much.” He chuckled.
Draco flushed, his eyes wide, his brows frowning.
“W-what?”