Calm before the storm
As far as regulus was aware party’s where hell and he tried his best to avoid them at all costs. He hated the noise and light and the fact that everyone had zero regard for his personal space. Just the thought of one made his stomach ache.
However it was his brothers birthday, He couldn’t not make an appearance. As much as he hated the idea of being crammed into the Gryffindor common room with a bunch of teenagers. he knew he loved his brother to much not to show up.
Regulus reached out a hand in his bag to cheack he had brought everything he needed as his hand left the bag he held his wand, his brothers present wrapped neatly in red wrapping paper and finally his book. Reading was one of the only things that could ground reg when he was overwhelmed, well that and his headphones.
Oh god.
Regulus had forgotten his headphones.
Regulus bagan to panic repeating the words
“It’s fine. it’s fine. it’s fine!”
Over and over again as he scratched at the back of his hand
“You’re being such a baby. It’s fi-“
Regulus was cut off by the entrance to the Gryffindor common room opening fast, the picture almost knocking the small boy to the floor in shock.
Standing in the entrance was James potter tho instead of his usual confident smile his face was twisted and contorted with worry.
Regulus guessed that he had been looking for him.
He stepped forward towards Reggie who was still slightly shaken from the abrupt opening of the picture frame entrance. “Hey reg” he smiled the worry left his face and his usual golden smile came back “are you okay?” He tilted his head and his tone was sweet and understanding he could clearly read Remus all to well.
regulus hated that James could do that. He hated that he knew him so well but then again he also loved it.“You know we don’t have to go in if you’re not up to it” James remarked as he reached out for his boyfriend’s hand.
Regulus backed away unable to stand the thought of physical touch right now still itching his hand behind his back so James couldn’t see.
“I’m fine” he demanded in response. Regulus hated being liek this he hated who he was. He hated being angry and week and shouting. Why did he shout? Why did he shout at the people who loved him? He often thought about when his mother had shouted at him, mabey he was no better. He was a black after all.
It didn’t matter how far regulus and his brother had run. his parents always found away to infect him with there punishments. He could never escape his memories no matter how hard he tried ,he was rotten to the core wether he admitted it or not.
He brought his hands to his sides repressing the feeling that was burning uncomfortably in his chest. He pushed past James and walked into the common room.
Immediately he knew he was drowning. Drowning in sea of people each person was a wave waiting to push him under. The music roared ringing through the boys ears and the lights burned his eyes. He wanted to claw at his skin. He wanted to lay on the floor and never move again. His heart screamed at him as he suppressed the pain from reflecting on his face.
He stumbled toward the wall closest to him and slowly slid his back down it until he was sat with his face berried in his knees not daring to move.
Regulus hands gripped his knees and his nails digged into his skin. He wanted to kick and scream and punch but he pushed the feelings down deep into his chest he couldn’t let anyone see him like that.