The birthday situation
Sirius saw his little brother on the floor. “Hey reg where have you-“ regulus couldn’t keep it in anymore his blood felt like it was boiling his skin was itching and red from where he had scratched it raw. He started to thump his fist into his head. Sirius immediately kneeled down infront of his brother and gently held his hands in an attempt to redirect his fists. Regulus started to cry and his brother caught sight of James.
He called him over “James can you come here!” Although Sirius words seem happy his tone was stressed and panicked. James ran over seeing what was happening and also knelt infront of regulus with Sirius.
Sirius whispered “we need to get him upstairs” James nodded and came over to his distressed boyfriend’s ear “I’m gunna have to carry you upstairs, okay?” Regulus eyes were closed and he was kicking his legs into the floor but managed to nod his head slightly. James put his arms around regulus and began to carry him up the stairs and into there room. Regulus refrained from kicking but was back to digging his nailes into his palms in an attempt to stop the burning in his chest and the buzz in his head.
Sirius hung back a second to tell Remus what was happening. Ofcourse Remus immediately wanted to go upstairs with Sirius and asked Pete to take over as host. Pete wasn’t vary good at knowing what to say when this stuff happened so he just agreed happily and carried on dancing.
Upstairs James had managed to put regulus down onto James’s bed and was holding his hands just as Sirius had done eairlier. Sirius and Remus walked in and regulus no longer was kicking and biting but his hands twisted in his boyfriends grip. he was trying to restrain himself from scratching at his skin again his hands was bleeding a little from eairlier.
“Get his stuff from his bag” James called to the boys Sirius rushed to his bag which was still downstairs. “He needs his headphones have you got them?” James said to Sirius as he ran breathlessly back into the dorm room “I can’t see them in here. He must have forgotten them.”
“Hang on!” Remus said rushing to his draws and pulling out some of his own headphones. He handed them to James “ I always keep mine on me” around a full moon Remus always got sensitive to sound being able to play his own music and control the sound around him helped.
“Thanks” James said swiftly before turning to regulus “are you okay if I put these on? If I let go of ur hands?” Regulus face scrunched and he kept his eyes shut “hey it’s okay I can do it so he dosnt have to let go” Sirius said gently smiling. For the first time since he was downstairs regulus opened his eyes his breathing was shaky and eyes where slightly blurred from all the tears he was sure that his eyeliner would have smudged. He nodded his head. Sirius smiled and regulus thought about all the times when they where younger and he was having one of his episodes Sirius would hold his hands over his little brothers ears and hug him close keeping reg in a deep pressure hug just how he liked it.
Sirius now brushed his brothers hair out of the way and carefully adjusted the headphones onto Reggie’s head “there, is that better?” regulus relaxed and took a shakey big breath before nodding at his brother again. “Would you like me to let go now reg?” James said understanding that regulus was calmer now and able to communicate. Regulus nodded his head again and then signed to Sirius “hug” Sirius shuffled up next to regulus and gave him a hug just as he had done all those years before.
Remus came over and put a glass of water down on the bed side table. “Here you go reg” they smiled at each outher in understanding but regulus didn’t let go of his brother for another ten minutes. When regulus finaly pulled away from his brother he was calmer but his heart was still shaking in his chest the burning was gone and replaced with tiredness he was drained.
“sorry I messed up you’re party” sirus began to shake his head “no don’t be sorry I love you reg I don’t care about the party only you” regulus smiled his brother always knew just what to say. James came and sat behind regulus and let the boy lay on him whilst he played with his hair attempting to sooth his boyfriend. It worked, it always did. Slowly regulus relaxed and fell asleep.
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The sun shone through the curtains and stretched out across the room. Regulus’s eyes fluttered open and he gently lifted his head making sure he didn’t wake James who was still laying behind him.
He looked at the clock still wiping the sleep away from his eyes
[MON 6:14AM]
Reg knew that it would be a miracle if any of the boys around him would wake up before eight.
When regulus had established that he would not be able to get back to sleep he decided to make his way down to the library. The castle was peaceful at this time of day. there was not a person in sight regulus wished the world could be like this all the time.
As he walked deeper into the library toward his usual hiding place he noticed someone else was there.
“Hey reg you alr?”
It was Barty. He had red eyes and looked tired. Regulus nodded in response he knew he could talk again but that didn’t mean that he wanted to more than he needed.
“Me and Evan had Anouther argument last night. I thought I would sleep here but it’s not exactly the coziest of places.” That was true the library whilst looking inviting was cold in the winter mornings. Regulus learnt a warming charm in first year just so he could do some extra studying there in the mornings.
He reached out for his wand and cast the charm on the two boys. “Where were you last night I thought you where coming back after the party?” Barty said concerned now he had noticed the silence of his small friend. “I..i umm” reg didn’t want to tell him he was to ashamed ,it was stupid he knew it was. I mean no one else freaked out over some partyl. “Just got tired. woke up on the sofa this morning, must have passed out” regulus said looking out the window unable to maintain eye contact. he hated lying to his friends ,he was bad at it.
“You’re lying.” Barty remarked pulling a packet of fags from his pocket then. He placed one in his mouth and his friends, lighting them with a wave of his wand.
Regulus inhaled taking a drag
“I’m not!”
Barty laughed a little at his friend who was clearly not finding this as funny as he was.
“Reg. i know you, you are horrible at lying. Where where you?”
Regulus was stunned he didn’t know what to say his brain wasn’t awake enough to make up more lie. As he shifted uncomfortably in his own silence barty placed a genital hand on his arm. “Did you… did you have one of you’re, you know.. episodes?”
Barty first saw regulus have one in his first year. He was on the coach and had just changed into his robes for the first time they shirt felt like it was strangling him he had been about to start kicking the walls of the compartment when barty leaped over to him and helped him unbutton his shirt a little. It was a simple fix to a small problem but it stopped a big event and even tho regulus was grateful he hated that barty now knew his secret not even one day into his time at hogwarts.
Regulus ducked his head down in shame. Before looking up and nodding. Then showing barty his sore hands which had not been cleaned up from the previous night. Barty who was not all the big hugs but still pulled regulus close just as his brother had done. He felt safe.
Barty and reg stayed like that for a while. Just them together in the early hours of the winter term.
But when students studying for the owls started to fill the library the two decided breakfast was needed.
As they entered the grate haul regulus caught sight of two vary worried looking boys eyeing him from the outher side of the room.
Regulus ignored them and sat down with his friend.
Just as regulus began to eat he felt the presence of two people behind him. “Hey reg” he turned his head to see Sirius and James looking vary cautiously at the boy. “It’s okay Sirius, I don’t want to talk about it! you can go sit back down now.”
He turned around to face barty who now also was looking more anxious than usual.
Sirius and James decided sit eather side of reg not letting him escape. “Look reg…” James started “we talked and we think you should go see pomfry.” Regulus began to feel the burning sensation in his chest again and started to scratch the back of his hand under the table. “No i don’t need to. I’m fine!” Regulus shouted, he didn’t care if everyone was now staring at him he didn’t care that there where tears in his eyes he just needed to leave. he wasn’t crazy and he knew it even if they all thought he was!
Regulus charged his way past the students and out of the haul, he needed to be alone. He needed to find somewhere to be alone. Just as he was about to scream he felt a hand on his sholder. “Reg, Waite” it was barty “leave me alone I’m not in the mood I don’t want to talk about it!” Regulus wiped the tears from him face and rubbed his sore hand. “Okay.” Barty smiled his charming smile at a rather confused reg.
“W..what?” He froze “I mean if you don’t want to then I’m not gunna force you or anything..” regulus nodded his head in understanding “but. You shouldn’t be alone mate” regulus’s stared at his friends face “look just let me walk you to your next lesson ,okay?” Regulus took a deep breath “okay.”