Chapter 2
“You’ve been grumpy today,” Dorcus said to Regulus. The two of them had been working side-by-side at the lab for hours, yet Regulus had barely mumbled a word.
“I know you can hear me speaking. Spill the beans.”
Regulus turned to her and shot her a classic Regulus death stare.
“What!? Regulus, seriously, tell me what’s wrong. We always say what we vent about in the lab stays in the lab.”
Regulus rolled his eyes. He was pretending that if he didn’t tell someone about the issue with James he wouldn’t literally combust.
“Fine.” Regulus set his pipette on the table. He wasn’t sure he could keep a still hand while talking about this.
“I think James regrets having me move in with him.”
Dorcus looked dumbfounded.
“Why on earth would you think that?”
“We’ve been spending so much time together, like, even more than before I moved in. I think it’s becoming too much for him.”
“Did he say something about it?”
James’ face last night flashed in his mind. Reggie knows James so well. Better than anyone else. His behavior was so odd; he’d only act that way if there was something serious bothering him. Something he was dreading to say to Reggie.
“I mean, he may as well have. We spent an entire evening together and it was like his mind was somewhere else. Like he was building up the courage to tell me something difficult to hear but then chickened out.”
Reggie couldn’t even say the words out loud due to shame and sadness, but nights like last night, when it’s like the two of them are the only people who exist, cozy in the home (he thought) they were building together, were his absolute favorite. The mind-blowing sex was the cherry on top. The thought that James didn’t feel the same way about those nights was tearing him apart.
“I think I’m smothering him.”
“No way. That boy would crawl inside your skin if he could.”
“He planned a surprise birthday party for Sirius.”
“Okay?”
Regulus huffed.
“He didn’t even talk to me about the idea of hosting it. It’s only three days away and he invited me last night like I’m… like I’m not his serious partner.”
For the first time since the conversation started, Dorcus’ face faltered.
“Really?”
Regulus nodded, not making eye contact anymore because tears were threatening to spill.
“Okay, I’ll admit that is a red flag.”
“Right?”
Reggie felt both validated and saddened by Dorcus’ agreement. He didn’t know how he could survive this. A slow, painful breakup with James. Him progressively distancing himself from Regulus. Regulus spent years dealing with PTSD from his childhood and working to be more vulnerable, confident, and trusting after his family members ruined those qualities in him. He’d always seen James and their relationship as sturdy and enduring, the type of relationship people could spend lifetimes looking for.
“I need to calm down.”
“You do. Try talking to him again tonight. Maybe start by telling him how you feel about Sirius’ party planning?”
“Yeah.”
Regulus tried to ignore the bad feeling in his gut.