Chapter 1
“You’re joking,” Remus deadpanned.
The moment Sirius had left to get more beer from the kitchen, James had scooted down the couch toward Remus. He needed to talk about something that had been gnawing away at him ever since he visited his parents for his aunt’s funeral–something that he wasn’t sure how Sirius would respond to.
“It’s not a joke! My mum was sorting through my Aunt Winona’s things–what she left for my mum–and there was a silver ring.”
James shifted his position, now whisper-shouting in Remus’ face.
“The ring is gorgeous, just like Reg! My mum gave it to me and said I could use it as an engagement ring for ‘the one’ and it just got me thinking about our future and marriage and I know we’ve only been dating for a year and he’s only 22–”
“Stop. James, it took Regulus SEVEN YEARS to even admit to liking you and he only moved into your flat last month. On top of that, for as long as I’ve known him, he’s been cynical about marriage and family. Growing up with parents like theirs–”
“What’s this talk about parents?” Sirius asked, eyebrow raised and beers in hand. “And why are you whispering? Or attempting to whisper, I should say. James, you actually may be the worst whisperer I’ve ever met.”
James quickly assumed his rightful position on the other end of the couch, flustered by Sirius’ sudden appearance.
“Oh, Prongs was just telling me about…his surprise…at his parents’ house…for… your birthday?” Remus said sheepishly.
James shot Remus his best “What the fuck” expression over Sirius’ shoulder.
Sirius turned to James, beaming.
“Throwing me a surprise party at Mum and Dad’s?”
“Err…,” James hesitated.
Sirius’s birthday was only four days away, and, to be honest, James hadn’t planned anything or thought about a present. James’ mind was preoccupied. Lost in a land of possibilities of what life, a real adult life–marriage, buying a house, children–could be like with Regulus. His thoughts had breached the topic before, since falling for Regulus two years ago, but something about physically holding the ring catapulted him to a new level of fixation. It’s almost like holding the object and seeing it with his own eyes made the possibility of marrying Reggie more real. Up until his mum gave it to him, an adult future with Regulus had been a happy passing fantasy. Now, the ring was practically burning a hole in James’ pocket. What was he waiting for? He and Reggie both had good, steady jobs. They lived together. James was sure–so, so, sure–Reggie was the love of his life. He wanted to commit to loving him for forever. Formally.
James had no doubt Regulus loved him back. However, they had never really discussed marriage before. What if Remus were right? Reggie’s difficult upbringing and his witness to Walburga and Orion’s loveless relationship made Reggie against marriage altogether? What if Reggie never thought of his and James’ relationship as all that serious to begin with?
James’ head was spinning.
“Er…yup, we’re throwing you a birthday dinner party at Potter Manor. Guess it’s not a surprise anymore,” James laughed weakly.
“Splendid!” Sirius shouted, wrapping an arm around James’ neck. “I’ve got the best fam in the world. Make sure Reggie joins. Us Black kids didn’t experience many family birthday parties growing up.”
“Yeah, I’m sure he’ll come,” James responded. He tried to hide the waver in his voice.
______________________________
The next day was nothing short of torture for James.
Regulus and James cooked a delicious meal together, fed it to each other, split a bottle of wine, and then had amazing, passionate sex by the glow of their fireplace. James was tempted to pop the question at least a hundred times.
“What’s on your mind?” Reggie said softly into James’s neck as they laid on a blanket on the living room floor, still catching their breaths. “Something’s bothering you.”
“I’m not sure bothering is the right word,” James replied with the same gentle tone.
Despite Reggie’s reputation for sharpness and James’ for loudness, their nights tended to be soft and quiet.
Reggie propped himself up on his elbow.
“I know you want to tell me something, Potter,” Regulus said in a teasing tone while running his finger in circles over James’ nipple, “just say it.”
James opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. In all this obsession with marrying Reggie, he never thought about what his proposal speech would be. There were so many things he needed to say.
Reggie’s countenance shifted from amused to concerned.
“It’s nothing, Reg, really,” James sputtered.
“I thought we told each other everything.”
“We do! We do.”
Reggie sat up, no longer touching James’ body anywhere.
“What is it?”
James knew Reggie wouldn’t let this go.
“I’m throwing Sirius a birthday party at my parents’.”
“James.”
“What?”
“Why are you fucking lying to me?”
“I’m not lying! I’m hosting a party for Sirius. I want you there obviously.”
Reggie’s expression had gone stone cold–the one he constantly had at Hogwarts.
“Whatever.”
Reggie grabbed his clothes and stormed off to the bedroom.