Dark Things
Three o’clock rolled around, and after helping Marlene and Dorcas clean up the studio, Remus had no time to fill them in on McGonagall’s meeting before he had to head to his second job. Promising to invite them over to tell them, he rushed out of door once more.
Sanguini’s was a darkly lit, high-end bar in NoHo who’s style was one sharply pointed tooth away from being vampiric. But Remus liked working there. It was dim enough that people couldn’t see the scars on his face unless they were very close, and their uniform required gloves and masks that covered the bottom half of his face anyway.
Remus slipped through the back door and quickly changed into his uniform—formal black and a vest. They were the nicest clothes he had, and they weren’t even technically his. He quickly stuffed his dusty-covered work clothes in his backpack and shoved it into his locker—he had exactly a minute to clock in, and Slughorn would give him hell if he was even a few seconds late.
“Evening, Remus.” Lily greeted as he ducked behind the bar. The classical music and murmuring of patrons were loud enough that they could talk without being intrusive.
“Hey, Lily. How’s it going?”
“Oh, can’t complain.” Lily’s fiery red hair was pulled up into a loosely elegant knot, and Remus could see her eyes twinkling with a smile the mask hid. “You’ve got a smudge on your temple, darling.”
She reached up and swiped the dried clay off.
“Ah, thanks.” He said, quickly checking himself in the mirror background of the liquor shelves. “Last sessions ran late, didn’t have time to wash off.”
“Well, good thing Slughorn didn’t catch you. You know how he gets about ‘upholding a reputation, dear boy’,” Lily mockingly deepened her voice. A patron at a booth called for another round. As she started on it, Remus made a show of flipping and catching liquor bottles for the guests at the bar top as all Sanguini bartenders did.
Remus liked Lily. She was the first bartender to talk to him after his rather awkward interview with Slughorn—who had been rather put out that Remus didn’t know who he was or who Sanguini was. To be completely frank, Remus had been working for him for years, and still didn’t know. The most he knew was that Slughorn used to manage a string of B-rated clubs in New Jersey.
Lily, however, was Slughorn’s favorite. She’d done her research, flattered him with knowledge of his reputation and Sanguini’s history, and now, could generally get away with anything. She easily could’ve weaponized this against her fellow coworkers, but instead, she took Remus under her wing and showed him the ropes. Remus was pretty sure, had Lily not advocated for him, Slughorn would’ve fired him ages ago either because he didn’t know who he was, or because he was late a little too often.
Even now, as Slughorn’s large, portly figure filled the bar, he endowed Lily with compliments on her work ethic, and simply eyed Remus rather vaguely. Lily played along, entertaining Slughorn as he wanted, and he continued on sooner because of it.
“Can’t tell you how easy it is,” Lily muttered to him. “a little buttering, and bam, I could be three hours late and he wouldn’t care.”
“Lucky you.” Remus hummed in amusement. He didn’t really care for Slughorn’s favor. He liked working at Sanguini’s and he would miss Lily if he ever did get fired, but he also wasn’t that great at “buttering” as Lily put it.
Bartending was easy. With the mask and the dim lighting, Remus could find a little more confidence. It was easier to charm patrons when he knew they couldn’t see much of him, that he would be remembered more as a shadow that serve alcohol than a guy with a slashed up face. His smoothed, practiced moves paired with Lily’s, and it was like they danced with each other behind the bar, passing bottles and glasses with elegant tosses.
Many of the patrons at Sanguini’s were regulars, Remus had only had to kick a few weirdos out for trying to drink each other’s blood at the bar—the kind of folks who thought they were real vampires. Most of them were fine, but there certainly were a couple who took it that one step too far. Sanguini’s certainly fit the vibe, but Remus and Lily would both be damned before they let blood-borne diseases sully their impeccable workspace.
Overall, newcomers kind of stuck out in a place like Sanguini’s, which was why Remus noticed a group of four wander in that had definitely never darkened this doorstep before. He couldn’t get a good look at them in this light, but he noticed it to be three guys and a girl as they slid into one of the booths.
The girl came up to the bar and grinned. She had coily hair with star barrettes, and a lip piercing that glinted in the dim lamplight. Remus noticed her warm eyes lingering on Lily with apparent interest.
“A Plisner, lager, Cosmo, and a daquiri, please.” She slid a card over. “You can start a tab.”
“Coming up,” Lily swooped in, subtly hip-checking Remus out of the way. The girl’s interest was clearly reciprocated . “Lemme guess, you’re a daquiri.”
“Guilty.” The girl replied, leaning on the bar top. Remus shook his head in amusement and filled the pilsner. “How’d you know?”
“Classy and elegant. Clearly made for you.”
“Classy and elegant, huh? So what do you make of my friend’s drink requests?” The girl gestured to the three boys sitting at the booth, laughing amongst themselves.
“Hm,” Lily mused as she tossed a rum bottle while mixing. “Lager for the glasses. Easy going, seems a little nostalgic.”
“How you say that?”
“He’s wearing a college sweater and clearly hasn’t been enrolled for a few years.”
The girl snorted. “True. Alright, what about Plisner?”
“Blonde. Lightweight. Seems to be here for a good time. He’s enjoying just watching the other two banter.”
The girl’s eyes flicked over to Remus, twinkling.
“She’s good. Why don’t you tell me why a Cosmo fits my last friend?”
They both looked at Remus expectantly. Lily’s eyes were wide and pleading, clearly saying “don’t make me look bad in front of the pretty lady.”
Remus studied the last boy sitting in the booth. It was hard to tell from across the room, but there was definitely an elegance in the way he held himself. He had long, dark hair that spilled perfectly down his shoulders, and the dim lamplight threw sharp cheekbones and a jawline into clear relief. He wore ripped up jeans, a baggy band shirt, and a leather jacket. Remus couldn’t make anything of him, nothing as impressive as Lily’s deductions.
So instead—
“Looks like he’s a pain in the ass.”
There was a pause, and the girl burst into laughter.
“Oh that’s lovely,” she hooted. “You’re both my new favorite people. Mary McDonald. Nice to meet you.”
“Lily Evans.” Lily said, sliding the four drinks to her and winking. “You’re welcome anytime.” Mary threw her another dazzling smile, collected the drinks, and headed off.
“Quite the casanova, Evans.” Remus murmured. Lily’s eyes lingered on Mary’s retreating figure.
“What can I say? I’m a sucker for brown eyes.”
A few moments later, there was a thunder of laughter from Mary’s booth, and Remus could only assume she had recounted the deductions.
——
Time passed quickly, as it always did when Remus was working. Faceless people came and went, and nothing about them stuck in his mind except drink orders and tab totals. He’d forgotten about Mary and her friends in the booth, busy keeping up with the dirty glasses and new orders.
Around eight, he and Lily traded breaks to grab a quick lunch—Remus could usually count on the kitchen giving him a burger or fries for free, as long as Slughorn wasn’t lurking nearby. On his break, he quickly checked his phone—a text from Regulus reminding him he would be out until midnight, and not to worry about cooking him dinner, and a few messages from Dorcas and Marlene asking when they could come over to hear about McGonagall’s meeting.
Remus knew Regulus liked Marlene and Dorcas, and he’d hated to miss a chance to see them. He hoped sometime tomorrow evening everyone would be available. Marlene was a wizard in the kitchen, and Remus could do with a night off from the cooking.
Back on the bar, the texts reminded him of McGonagall’s offer. He should start brainstorming now, get every idea out of his brain so he could focus on them individually. His mind wandered, imagining giant, detailed figures or something made of metal and glass, something worthy of the Modern Museum of Art. He hadn’t been there since high school…would it help to see some of the work on display to get a sense of quality or complexity?
His hands worked on their own as he pondered this idea. It’s spending money he really didn’t have, and he ought to save it in case there were materials the Artisan Cat Houses didn’t have.
Partway through his thoughts, Remus noticed the dark haired boy from Mary’s booth heading towards the bar with an empty glass. He was startled to see the guy staring directly at him, and heading that way too. For a moment, he worried the guy had taken offense to his comment that Mary had undoubtedly told him. A moment later, he wondered why he cared. He was almost a head taller than the guy—if he caused trouble, Remus was sure he’d have no problem hauling his ass out.
“Another Cosmo, for the pain in the ass,” the guy said, although there was a twinkle of amusement in his eyes. He leaned on the bar top, and Remus caught him very obviously checking him out. His silvery eyes roamed up and down and back up, brazenly meeting Remus’ own without an ounce of shame. He looked vaguely familiar.
To Remus’ utter bemusement, the guy bit his lip as he grinned.
“Of course, maybe you could be a pain in my ass, instead.”
The patron sitting beside him side eyed him in apparent shock at his forwardness, but said nothing. If Remus wasn’t wearing his mask, his jaw would’ve dropped. However, he managed to stay cool, and simply cocked an eyebrow. The guy’s smile widened.
“‘Afraid you’ve in the wrong establishment,” he said evenly, quickly mixing up another Cosmo. “But I’m sure the lovely ladies at Skeeter’s could help you with your troubles.”
The patron next to him snorted into her drink. Cosmo boy, however, was not swayed.
“I don’t swing that way, love.” He purred, practically draping himself over the bar top. “Name’s Sirius Black. Would love to know yours.”
Remus dropped the Cosmo. The delicate glass shattered on the tile, and the hum of talk halted for a moment.
In a flash, Lily was there, helping him brush up the mess and apologizing to the patrons. Remus’ head was ringing and his heart was hammering. Different from how he felt in McGonagall’s office, this was…fear.
Remus hadn’t felt fear like this in a long time. Not since The Incident.
Sirius Black. Sirius Black. Sirius Black. Sirius Black.
He couldn’t breathe. The usually cozy warmth of Sanguini’s was suddenly stifling. His chest was tight, and suddenly he could smell foul breath in his nose and cold hands clamping at his arms.
No, no, no, not here. He begged his mind silently. Please, not here.
“Remus…Remus!” Lily was trying to say something, but Remus was slowly falling into his own head. Greasy hair in his face, yellowing nails digging into his arms—
“Lily,” Remus wheezed, one strand of dignity keeping him from keeling over right there at the bar. “I need a break.”
“Go in the back,” Lily’s voice was distant and echoed in his brain, but Remus felt his legs obey. He stumbled through the staff only door, nearly tripping over a bag of potatoes lying on the floor. His shaky hands scrabbled at the latch for the backdoor, and Remus stumbled out into the alley and tore the mask off his face. He heaved in cold air, not able to smell the trash or city through the memory clogging his nose. He fell against the rough brick wall of the alley, doubling over.
——
“So sweet…so soft…”
“Get off me!” Remus screamed. He thrashed under the weight of his attacker.
“Keep screaming, and I’ll slice your throat.” The voice snarled, hot, putrid breath puffing against his cheek. The glint of a knife as Remus continued to struggle against the large hand holding his wrists together.
The first slice. The hot pain. Then the next, and the next, and the next…
His screams echoed in the dark woods, the dampness of the forest floor indiscernible from blood. Soon, the pain was so much that Remus couldn’t feel when new gashes were made. All he knew was the agony, the weight of the man above him, and that stinking breath. This was how he was going to die.
——
The revolting smell of city trash suddenly pierced through his haze, and he was back.
“Remus! Remus, for fuck’s sake, are you alright?” Lily was shaking him almost violently, shoving him upright from where he was slowly slumping into a garbage bin. His head was pounding with his heart, and his entire body felt weak and shaky. Reality was fuzzy—the dampness of the wall felt too much like the forest floor. The sharp cold of the night air felt too much like one of his wounds.
But they were real.
Remus could run his fingers against the rough brick, could gag against the trash smell that wasn’t anything like that breath. He could focus on Lily, who was staring at him with fear and concern.
These things were real.
All the air left his lungs in one breath, and Remus fell against the wall with a groan. Lily steadily him, never once letting go of his shoulder.
“What happened? Did that guy do something to you? I’ll kick his ass, I swear—“
“No, no.” Remus said weakly, steadying his breath. “He didn’t do anything. Not his fault. M’okay. Sorry.”
“You gave me a fucking heart attack, Lupin.”
“Sorry.”
“I smoothed things over with Slughorn. He was about to explode about it, but I calmed him down.”
“‘Didn’t need t’do that.”
“Well this job would suck without you, so yeah, I did.”
“Did he leave?”
“Slughorn?”
Remus shook his head. “The guy.”
“Yeah. Well, not after he tried jumping the bar to get to you. He was really concerned. Pilsner and Lager had to drag him out. Mary kept apologizing. Apparently, he’s impulsive.”
“Sorry.”
“What the hell for?”
Remus grimaced. “Probably ruined your chances with her.”
Lily snorted. “Please. If anything, your fit might’ve gotten me bonus points. I was a real hero, y’know. Swooping in like I did.”
He managed a real smile—a weak one, but real. Lily seemed to take it as a good sign, because her grip on his shoulder lessened.
“Let’s get you home.” She said firmly, holding his backpack to him.
“But—“
“The late shift already took over. There’s no point going back. ‘Sides, might be good to give Slughorn the night to simmer down. He’ll forget about it tomorrow.”
Remus grimaced again. There went three hours of money. He took his bag from Lily, and let her guide him to the subway.
She knew where his apartment was—having been over for wine and dine nights with Regulus, Marlene, and Dorcas before. It was nice to travel with someone—Remus could fully shut off his mind and just space out, trusting Lily to take him home.
He barely remembered the ride back, barely remembered passing Lily his key. Next thing he knew, he was lying in his bed and toeing off his shoes. Lily managed to wrestle his vest off, gently reminding him not to sleep in his uniform. He remembered grunting a grateful thanks, but Lily didn’t leave. She closed his door, but when he didn’t hear the front door shut, he assumed she stayed in the living room to wait for Regulus.
Remus wanted to tell her to go home, that she didn’t have to stay, but a small, selfish part of him didn’t want to be alone. Even to know she was just outside brought him immense comfort as his mind continued to float vaguely between reality and memory.
Lily’s reminder not to sleep in his uniform bugged him enough to pull off his shirt and pants with as little exertion as possible before slinking back under his sheets in boxers. He just wanted to sleep. It always helped reset his brain after an episode. He hadn’t had one in a few months, certainly not one so intense.
Sirius Black. Of course Sirius Black could rouse such a reaction in him. He’d always been so good at it before.