Chapter 3
Over the next few days, James spent every night in the astronomy tower with Regulus. Besides for an occasional ‘hello’ or ‘goodbye’ neither of them spoke. It was strange, sitting with Regulus at night and talking to Sirius by day. It felt like betrayal in a way, but at the same time it was…nice. It was really really nice.
James cracked open the door to the astronomy tower, and walked through, trying to be as quiet as possible. Two nights ago, he’d found Regulus on the verge of falling asleep, but he’d been awoken by James’s loud footsteps. Since then James tried his hardest to be quiet when arriving. Regulus was not asleep though, and he glanced up when James walked through the doorway. His gray eyes scanned James for a moment before looking up at the stars once more.
James could never tell what he was thinking. His face betrayed no emotion, and he’d never said a word since that first night. Sometimes, James tried to guess. He’d stare at Regulus for long minutes, trying to work out just what he was thinking. James sat down next to Regulus, turning to look up at the vast sky. He hesitated and then asked what had been on his mind since the encounter in the hallway.
“Regulus, what did you mean by you had to? You said you had to stay. Why?”
…
James turned to him, his brown eyes imploring. Oh fuck. How was he supposed to respond to that?
“I’m their only heir now. They have to have an heir.” He said quietly, his voice a little hoarse from lack of use. He'd been up in the tower a few hours already.
James blinked. “Oh. Well, we could’ve gotten you out. My family and Sirius, I mean. We could’ve gotten you out and they wouldn’t have any argument. After what they did to you, to Sirius,” He paused, “Well, the ministry couldn’t have argued with that. We still can. If you’re willing, if you’ll let us. You don’t have to be their heir, they can find another.”
Regulus froze, his guard instantly raised. “No. No, you don’t understand, James Potter. You and your family do not understand and you’d do better not to meddle in things that you don’t understand.”
“Sirius understands though.” James said gently.
No one understands he wanted to say, but didn't. Instead he just shook his head.
James, being James, didn’t drop it. “Regulus. Your brother wants you back, he misses you. My family would be more than happy to take you in. You could leave, you just have to let us help you. And, yeah, okay maybe Sirius would be a little distant at first. But he’d want you there, and that’s what counts, right? Just let us help–”
Regulus cut him off, “Drop it, Potter. I don’t need saving.” His hands shook. He shoved them in his pockets to stop them. Show no weakness, Walburga echoes in his mind. Boys don’t cry, Orion whispers in his ear. He wished they would leave him alone. They never did, though. They were always there.
James just sighed. “Everyone needs a bit of saving.”
“Not everyone can be a hero.”
“It’s like Bowie says. We can be heroes just for one day. You don’t have to be one all the time, Reg. Just for one day, that’s enough.” James smiled at Regulus, eyes bright.
“You’re too good for this all, James," James looked surprised at the compliment. "Just leave it alone. I can’t be a hero. Some people are built for heroics, but I’m not. I fade into the background, and that’s okay, but the heroes can’t save me. You can’t save me. You just have to let it be and go live your heroic life.” Regulus said, turning his eyes away from James’s.
James didn't say anything for a while, and Regulus thought he’d dropped it until he spoke again, “Maybe that’s true. But it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. And you don’t need saving, just a bit of help. Think about it. Think about leaving, please. If not for yourself, for Sirius.”
Regulus just shook his head again. James didn’t understand, no one understood. He didn’t even understand some of the time.
James continued to stare at him for a few seconds before sighing. “I won’t try to save you, or force you into anything. But just let me be here, let me be your friend.”
Regulus paused, not knowing how to respond to something like that. All that comes out is, “Why?”
“Because you need one.”
Regulus immediately stiffened, “You don’t know that. You don’t know me, Potter.”
“Then let me.”
And oh, how he wants to. He really, really does. But he’s him, and James is the sun. James is all things good and Regulus is none. He’s nothing compared to James. Everyone and everything is eclipsed by his rays, whereas Regulus just fades into the background. He fades and he fades and he fades.
So, he just sighed. “Don’t expect much of me, James. You won’t get anything back.” He stood, glancing quickly at James’s imploring face. He can’t give him anything. Regulus will never be enough for James Potter, no matter how hard he tries. So, he leaves, listening to James call after him.
…
After Regulus left, James just sat for a while. Regulus Black was a mystery and he was determined to figure him out.
He left too, after a few minutes. He crept past Filch’s office, and back up to his dorm, all the way thinking about how Regulus had looked when he’d said he’d never be a hero. It didn’t matter what he said, James was going to get him out of that house.
James wasn’t even sure what had made him so invested in Regulus. Before the astronomy tower, the two had barely talked. James had even disliked Regulus, thinking he was just like the rest of Sirius’s god awful family. But James was coming to realize that he wasn’t. He just needed more time to figure it out. More time to fix things. It would be all right, though. James wouldn’t let it be any other way. He could fix it, he knew he could. He just needed a little bit more time.