Chapter 4
After the final battle, when they started to corral people out of the gates of Hogwarts Harry didn't know where to go, didn't think anyone wanted him
(Harry didn't want himself, wishes he could separate from his body and mold it into what they wanted him to be)
So Harry went to the muggle world,rented a room at some shabby motel and covered all the mirrors. Harry knew he wouldn't sleep. knew who would be waiting for him in his dreams.
People didn't know that Harry grew up in the muggle world, at least most people didn't. thought that Dumbledore had his him deep within the wizarding world, but they were wrong. Harry knew what it was like to be a muggle, knew how it felt to not have magic, not have any power.
So when he got out of bed at five am the following morning he did what he used to do at 14 when he lived with the dursleys, he went to a bar near where he grew up, started to look for a face he hadn't seen in years
"well if it isn't Harry Potter, from beyond the grave" Harry cringes at the line, Anthony had no idea how spot on he was, maybe Harry would look into him being related to a seer when he went back to the other world, the one that was falling apart.
Anthony was a nice bloke, he met Harry in school and he was the closest thing he had to a friend until he got his Hogwarts letters.
When Harry was back for the start of summer after his third year he ran into Anthony on the playground late at night, Harry had been shocked at being remembered.
Anthony had explained that he was meeting a friend here in a bit, and he must be "the luckiest man in the world" to find Harry there, so they sat together while waiting for Anthony's friend.
After watching Anthony pull out a small baggy from his jacket and get some coins in return from the stranger that came to the park, when he got there he walked and ask who Harry was, Anthony had winked at Harry and said simply that he was his body guard. when the stranger left Harry questioned what had just happened
"what in the bag then?" he had forgot how easy it was to be curious when he doesn't have to be the hero
he knew he was in trouble when Anthony looked back at him with the biggest grin on his face, and insisted that Harry clear his schedule for the foreseeable future. NEct thging Harry knew he was laughing harder than he ever had on the swings with his first friend. that was the first time Harry got high
it was far from the last.
Harry whipped around at the sound of the familiar voice and saw Anthony's kind face before he was being ingulfed in a bear hug from the taller man.
"God harry where have you been, you just disappeared-I asked around for ya y'know? even went and saw your aunt from hell, mean one that lady-"
for a second Harry want to cry, he didn't think that he had anyone here, didn't think that he belonged in either world, but someone had been looking for him this whole time.
he pulls Anthony in for another hug, this one much longer and after he lets his friend pull him into the street where Harry comes up with a flimsy excuse as to where he's been, he knows anthonys too smart to believe him,but he's too kind to question him on it anyways.
They make it to Anthony's flat, and almost instently Harry is handed a spliff
thank God for Anthony howell harry thinks as he takes the first long drags, hold it in his chest until he starts to cough, forgets that he isn't fourteen and doing this every night. Anthony hands him water and laughes as he takes his own spliff and lights it
after they only have ash and blurry eyes Harry turns to Anthony the question on the tip of his tongue what about me is worth looking for but before he has the chance Anthony says he's going to bed,and that Harry can crash on the couch. His last thought before sleep finds him is that he was not made for this life, he thinks of his mom, tries to separate the memories from the stories
hey mom
I wish you had let me fucking die.