The Tragic Tale of the Boy Who Lived and the Boy Who Wanted to Die [ON HIATUS]

Harry didn’t know why Hermione still insisted on going to the library after the previous night’s events, but he went with her anyway. Ron was still in the hospital wing, so Harry sat down next to Hermione as she devoured book after book. Ginny offered to go with him.

“It’s not like I have anything better to do.” She said.

Hours in, Harry started getting bored. He had read through a couple books, but they weren’t really interesting. Then, Theodore Nott (one of Ginny and Malfoy’s friends) walked up to Ginny.

“Ginny, I need to talk to you quickly. It’s about- well, just come here.” He whispered, casting Harry a suspicious look. Harry and Theodore Nott weren’t friends, but Harry had always looked at him as one of the nicer Slytherins. Ginny often talked about him fondly.

“I’ll be right back, Harry.” Ginny told him before walking away with Nott. Harry, whose curiosity got the better of him, slipped his invisibility cloak out of his bag and followed them. Hermione was too invested in her book to notice. After all, following Malfoy had led to nothing, and after the Quidditch final, Harry couldn't stop thinking about him.

“Ginny, it’s Draco. I’m honestly worried about him. I think something’s wrong.” Nott told her. He was keeping his voice down, making it hard for Harry to hear him.

“I've noticed that as well. I think it's the whole hippogriff thing, I think-”

“Ginny, I need to tell you something. The hippogriff thing and all that-” Nott lowered his voice significantly, and Harry had to shift closer to hear him. “It's all his dad's fault. Lucius forced him into it to try and get Hagrid fired. Draco didn't want to do it. I know he didn’t want us to tell anyone, but I can't stand to see him like this anymore. We need to do something. We can't let him go back there.” Ginny looked stunned. Harry's mind was racing; he had been right.

“I- That's awful. Who would do that to their own son? I thought his mom was alright? Why didn't she do anything?”

“I don't know, he doesn't talk about it much.” Ginny looked distraught, and Nott just looked worried. Harry didn't know what to do. He wanted to know more, but felt like he was invading Malfoy's privacy. But he had been right. All the times Hermione had told him to drop it, or told him it wasn’t worth pursuing, he had been right all along.

But it wasn’t just about being right, was it? Proving Hermione wrong wasn’t the reason he had followed them and kept trying to eavesdrop. If it was, then he wouldn’t have felt so bad about his situation. If it was, he wouldn’t have given him that card after the Quidditch game. If it was, being right would've felt like a victory.

When he went to visit Lupin after hearing about his resignation, Lupin could tell something was off.

“Is something wrong, Harry? You sound preoccupied.”

“I… I'm just worried about someone… well not worried, but just… well yeah, worried, I guess. I just don’t know what to do about it.” He replied. Lupin looked sympathetic.

“I understand. When I went here as a student, my friends- our whole little group, really, was pretty messed up, with the rivalry between James and Snape, however I still cared about all of them. Yes, even Peter.” He added, seeing the look on Harry's face.

“Once we were older, and the war got really bad, I feared for their safety daily. When James was killed, I truly did believe Sirius did it, and I thought I had lost all my love for him. But I didn't. Out of all my friends, I had always cared about him the most, and not even his imprisonment could change that. Last night, when I realised what had really happened, I dreamed of a new future. I thought that maybe, with Sirius free, we could start over. Once I leave, I'm going to try and pursue that. But I know it won't be easy. We’d have to go into hiding, since he is a wanted criminal, and I have been ostracized from normal wizarding society since I was 5 years old. But excuse my rambling Harry,” Lupin said, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder, “what I'm really getting at is that although it will be hard, you have to be willing to do hard things for the people you care about.” Harry sat there in silence for a moment, taking in what Lupin had just told him.

Did Harry really care about Malfoy? He certainly felt differently towards him than he had last summer. But to say he cared, that might be hard.

“I wouldn't say I care-” Harry started, but Lupin cut him off.

“You care enough to be worried. If I were you, I'd try to do something about it. Speaking of doing stuff, I have to get back to packing. But now that I'm not your teacher, I feel no guilt in giving you back this map.” Lupin handed it to Harry. “Your father would've wanted you to have it. I have no doubt James would've been upset if you never found any of the castle's secrets. Put it to good use, Harry.”

Harry took the map and immediately, he knew what to do.

Around midnight, he noticed Malfoy's dot on the map located in the Astronomy tower. His mind raced; what could Malfoy be doing up there? The only reason Harry could think of wasn't good, and in a panic, he set off without his invisibility cloak.

He realised he had forgotten it when he heard footsteps coming down the hall. He ducked into a broom closet and hid out there for a bit. Finally, whoever was out there left, and Harry considered going back to Gryffindor tower. But instead, he continued on his way, being careful to not draw attention.

Finally, he reached the tower, and burst into the room.

“What are you doing up here?” He demanded. He wanted the truth, and wouldn't let him leave until he got it.

“I really don't see how that is your concern.” Malfoy spat. He seemed to be trying to find an exit. “How'd you know I was up here?”

Harry hadn't thought this far ahead.

“I- that doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does! Now let me out!” Harry wanted an answer, but he could tell something was off. The way Malfoy was acting wasn’t what you would expect, and he seemed almost hysteric.

“Not until you tell me why you're here!” Harry yelled.

The two boys came to a standstill. Neither grabbed their wands, but the silence was louder than their yells had been. Harry decided he would be the one to break it.

“People have been saying things, and I-” Malfoy cut him off.

“Like what? What've people been saying? Why do you care?” His voice was shaking, and Harry felt terrible keeping him there. Just get him to talk, then he can leave, and we can forget this ever happened.

“No, it's not that, I just- I-” Harry didn’t know how to say what he had to. In that moment, something snapped, and Harry decided he had to do something to get Malfoy to listen.

Kissing him wasn’t the plan, but Harry didn’t care. Nothing mattered more to him at that moment. Once they broke apart, Malfoy ran. Harry didn’t even try to stop him.

Before he went back to the common room, he sat down and cried. How in the name of Merlin’s right asscheek did I get here?