The Tragic Tale of the Boy Who Lived and the Boy Who Wanted to Die [ON HIATUS]

Draco and Ginny made up shortly after Draco got back from the library at ungodly hours of the night. Ginny was awake waiting in the common room, and immediately apologised for annoying Draco. Draco accepted her apology, feeling like he didn’t deserve one. What kind of person abandons their friend because of something as trivial as that? Draco also apologised, but he felt like it wasn’t enough. He had always been an awful friend to Ginny, hadn’t he? He had to make up for it somehow. He decided he would get her something in Hogsmeade during the following weekend. It wouldn’t fix anything, but it might just make it better temporarily.

No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t see Potter as his sworn enemy. Maybe it was because he had spent so long avoiding him that he couldn’t adjust to seeing him as anything other than a threat to his privacy, or maybe it was because Potter was just so hard to hate. He had been able to pretend to hate Potter for years, but what did it really get him? Sure, his father was happy his son wasn’t being ‘influenced by pro-muggle lunatics’ but Draco still knew that pureblood supremacy was bullshit, even before being friends with Ginny.

It was very obviously a lie, admittedly one Draco was good at playing into, but everybody knew muggle borns were just as good as everyone else. Was pureblood supremacy the only reason he hadn’t attempted to befriend Potter? He had tried to befriend him once, the first time he ever saw him. He didn’t know what came over him, he just walked up and asked to be friends. After he had been humiliated, he told Crabbe and Goyle that he was ordered to do that by his father and never tried again. How stupid of him. If he had become friends with Potter, then maybe none of this would have happened. It was too late now.

The following weekend, Draco set off into Hogsmeade to find Ginny’s gift. He knew, even as he grabbed a handful of Galleons to spend, it wouldn’t help. He’d be better off spending it on a train ticket or a one-way trip on the Knight Bus. But he wouldn’t; he couldn’t do that to his friends.

He walked into Honeydukes and started looking around. Everything looked amazing, but none of it seemed exactly right. None of it looked good enough. He looked through every store Hogsmeade had to offer, and found nothing. After hours of searching, he saw Ginny’s brother followed by disembodied footprints. It only took him a second to realise what was going on.

He knew from Ginny that Potter wasn’t allowed in Hogsmeade. He knew that Potter must have snuck in under his invisibility cloak. He knew he should go tell a teacher. But he didn’t. Instead, he turned around and ran away before either of them could see him. After all, it wasn't that big of a deal.

He decided that getting a gift wasn’t worth it, so he went back to the castle. Ginny would hate him either way, so what was really the point? Even though she never said it, Draco could tell she wasn’t his biggest fan. And who would blame her?

Draco got back to the common room to see Ginny and Theo sitting on the common room couch with a letter. They both looked uneasy. Draco recognized his father's writing on the opened envelope.

“Draco, I-”

“Give me the letter, Theo.” Draco already knew what it would say. His father wouldn't be writing unless it was important.

Draco didn't even have to read any of it, holding it was enough. His eyes skimmed the page, picking up words like success and execution. He was immediately nauseous. He couldn't believe his father would actually go through with this. Tears stung the back of his eyes. He felt like he couldn't breathe.

“Draco? Are- are you…?” Theo took the letter from Draco's shaking hands.

“I…” Draco couldn't speak. His throat wouldn't form words.

“It'll be okay, Draco, I-” Ginny looked concerned. She looked at Theo and took the letter. She read it and only got halfway through before setting it down on the table. “That's awful… We can still fix it Draco, it's okay…” She seemed to be trying to comfort herself more than Draco.

“Ginny, I- I thought you said they were going to- fix it or something.” He fought to keep his voice straight.

“I thought they were!” Ginny cried, exasperated.

Draco knew he should have done something. He knew this would happen. He knew his father would win the case. He was stupid to think he wouldn't.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. He tried to ignore the letter, and even tossed it into the fire, but it was burned into his memory.

Care of Magical Creatures was worse than ever. His first lesson after getting the letter, he made it halfway to class before turning around and hiding in a bathroom. He couldn't even imagine facing Hagrid again after the trial. During the next lesson, he hardly said a word to anybody, not even Pansy or Daphne.

Potions also became even more of a minefield than it had been before. He stayed silent most lessons, much like Care of Magical Creatures. He still did fairly well in those classes, not as good as he wanted, but still better than almost everybody else.

With preparations for the Quidditch game, he had almost no free time to study. He ended up staying awake late into the night studying and reading. After all, he had to stay on top of his classes, and with exams coming up, that was more important than ever.

Theo and Ginny seemed to worry about him, no matter how often Draco reassured them he was fine. They didn't seem to be convinced. Draco found it quite annoying, especially when he just wanted to do his homework without being interrupted.

The holidays came and went, but didn't really feel like the holidays had come at all. It was partly because of the obscene amount of homework they had, but also because of the general stressed atmosphere. Draco didn't know if it was just him, or if everybody felt like they were suffocating with the amount of work they had to do. He hoped it wasn't just him, because he was starting to get sick of suffering alone.