Chapter 5
Sirius sat on the ledge of the astronomy tower staring at the sky, just jeans and a thin tank top for protection from the cold. A robed figure climbed onto the ledge next to him and he nearly toppled off in fright. A hand shot out and latched onto the back of his shirt holding on until he steadied before it let go. Y/N pushed back her hood.
"Sorry, thought you heard me coming." He glanced over, eyes sparkling with unshed tears.
"You don't want to be here." She shook her head and when she spoke her voice was surprisingly quiet and gentle.
"No, I don't want to be here. But you need me to be, so I am." He turned away and wrapped his arms across his torso, shivering slightly. There was a slight rustle of fabric and Y/N draped her cloak across his shoulders. He tried to shrug it off.
"You're going to be cold." She shook her head.
"I have a sweater on, you're hardly wearing a thing." He begrudgingly accepted it and they sat in silence for nearly ten minutes before he spoke again.
"You should go."
"I don't think I should." He turned towards her, voice pleading.
"Please, I can't jump with you here, please just go." She shook her head.
"That's exactly why I should stay. You're not ready to come down and I'm not going to let you jump. So I'm going to stay here until you're ready to go back in."
"Well I'm not going to. So you should just go."
"I'm not going to leave you here."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not going to stand by while someone with so much potential throws it all away." He looked down and muttered quietly.
"I don't have any."
"Yes you do. You have so much potential and worth. And it's so sad that you can't see any of it." He sent her a half hearted glare.
"How do you know? You don't even know me."
"I do though. You're amazing, I can see it." She shook her head slightly in amusement. "The only person who can't is you. You should see the way people look at you. Mcgonagle acts like she's annoyed but really you're practically her son. Peter is in absolute awe of you. James loves you like a brother. Remus looks at you like you're the sun. Regulus talks about you like you're the most perfect being to ever exist. You are important Sirius Black and there are so many people that would be absolutely devastated if you jumped tonight." He wiped a few rouge tears that slipped through the cracks of his poker face and down his cheeks.
"Not my parents." Y/N sighed.
"Disrespectfully, screw them." He let out a choked laugh.
"Disrespectfully?" She nodded seriously.
"I don’t, and truthfully can't, claim to have heard even a fraction of what you've been through, they are complete and utter douchebags. Why do you care what they think? They don't determine your worth. Only you do that. Did the world hand you a horrible deal? Absolutely. Does that mean you're worth anything less than the best? No."
"And what if I've determined that this is what I'm worth?" He gestured to the tower and the long fall in front of him.
"Then, more respectfully, screw you too." He laughed shakily. "And you wanna know something? If you jump then who gets the last laugh? It's not you, it's all the people who hurt you. It's all the people who want you to be in pain. If you jump, you let them win. And if I know anything about you, that's not what you want." There was silence for a moment before Sirius bundled himself tighter in the borrowed robes.
"I don't think I can get myself down."
"Well it's a good thing I'm here to help you isn't it?" She slid off the ledge and offered a hand. He hesitated before accepting it and sliding off after her.
His knees gave out as soon as his feet touched the ground and he collapsed on the floor sobbing. Y/N knelt next to him and rubbed his back murmuring quiet reassurances for a few moments while his sobs quieted into small sniffles.
"Come on, let's get you to bed, it's late. Up we go." She pulled his arm across her shoulders and wrapped an arm around his waist. After a small struggle got him to his feet and they headed back towards the Gryffindor dormitories, Sirius leaning heavily on her and silent except for the occasional sniffle.
When they got to the Fat Lady she took one look at the Prefect supporting an almost catatonic Sirius Black and swung open without a sound. Once they reached the boy's dorm he collapsed on his bed without a word.
Y/N quietly riffled through the boy's items for parchment and a quill, careful not to wake any of them before sitting on the edge of Sirius's bed and scribbling a quick note. She folded it and wrote "To Whom It May Concern" in elaborate script on the front before setting it on Sirius's nightstand. When she finished Sirius was sound asleep, still wrapped in the borrowed robes and with shoes on. She drew the curtains around his bed and slipped out of the dormitories.