I Can Go Anywhere I Want, Anywhere I Want Just Not…
Working as a bartender a few nights a month did not, in any way, prepare Remus for the absolute insanity of actually owning and running a pub. While Remus was always a couple of steps ahead of the other Marauders at Hogwarts academically, in the actual business of running a business, Remus had clearly been overconfident in his abilities.
As the days after officially naming his pub wore on, he found himself getting lost in the logistics of it all. He would often find himself writing to Leo outside of the usual letters about Harry, just for someone to confide in. The stress of hiring, figuring out what food to serve, booths versus tables, etc. Leo would respond with advice and knowledge from the muggle world, sharing that he had worked as a waiter at a diner for a year or so upon leaving the Wizarding world behind.
Leo always ended his letters asking for updates on his plans to get Sirius a trial and Remus would always feel a pinch of guilt in his gut, worrying he wasn’t doing enough to help free the man. While Remus had still been meeting with advisors about potential routes to take in the wizarding legal system, Remus’ personal research had been put on hold in order to get his bar up and running. With some further assistance from Aberforth, Remus was able to get the pub up and running six months after he received the keys.
Remus had a good team of recent Hogwarts graduates to help run the pub, with his manager being Pandora Lovegood, a bright, albeit strange girl who seemed to get along with everyone. Even back at Hogwarts, she was a social butterfly, always flitting between the Ravenclaw and Slytherin tables, to the point that Remus wasn’t sure if she was a Slytherin or a Ravenclaw, or one of the other houses entirely. When he mentioned this to her, she just let out a tinkling laugh and continued to clean off the tables she was bussing. Maybe she was a Hufflepuff, Remus thought to himself.
With Pandora taking over the day-to-day operations, Remus was able to return to his research into case studies that might help with Sirius’ situation. By this point it was almost August, nearing Harry’s third birthday, and Sirius was still in Azkaban. Remus had still been unable to contact him, and to his knowledge, Sirius was under the impression that everyone believed him guilty of the crimes he was arrested for. Remus’ heart broke knowing Sirius was alone, and he couldn’t even tell Sirius he believed in him.
Leo’s letters were getting more and more frequent, and on one occasion his letter arrived with a phone number scrawled along the bottom of the parchment.
In case you want to speak to Harry, I know he would like that, Leo had written. It was early on the morning of Harry’s birthday, the first time Remus had picked up his telephone, dialing the numbers and listening to the steady ringing. After three rings, Remus considered hanging up, but before the fourth ring even began someone picked up the other end.
“Hello? Who is it?” The voice on the other line was male and had clearly just woken up by the sound of his voice, and for a second Remus thought it could’ve been Sirius, but shook that thought away instantly. It had been happening more and more, Remus believing to see Sirius in strangers, in voices, in laughs. After taking too long to answer, the voice on the other end let out a sigh, leading Remus to cough and then speak.
“Hi, I’m sorry, is this Leo? It’s Remus. I’m sorry for calling so early, I was hoping to catch you before Harry woke, in case you had plans with Harry today. Again, I’m sorry for waking you,” Remus stuttered out a response, regressing to the nervous boy he was growing up. Why are you so nervous, you’ve been friends with this man for over a year, Remus thought to himself, silently knocking his head against the wall. On the other end of the phone, he heard the sound of a tap running and then a slight cough before the other man responded.
“Lupin, you don't have to apologize for calling. I would've been getting up here soon anyway, relax. I wouldn't have given you our number if I didn't want you calling. I’m about to go wake Harry up if you want to say hi to him? He’ll be thrilled to open your present while on the phone with you, I think he loves saying thank you more than opening the presents to be honest. Does that sound alright?” Remus could hear Leo shuffling his feet on the other end of the phone, almost like he was nervous as well. Remus found himself nodding, only to remember that that would definitely not convey anything to Leo on the other end.
“Yes I’d love that, thank you. Also, nice to meet you, Leo. Even if it’s just on the phone.” Remus flushed, feeling silly, especially when Leo let out a loud barking laugh. It’s not Sirius Remus told himself yet again.
“Lupin, I’ve met you dozens of times. Hundreds probably. You just can't recall who I am, probably because you wouldn’t be able to handle it if you knew. But enough about me, let's go get our little Hair-Ball up.” Remus was stunned into silence as the other man walked down a hallway, or possibly up some stairs, to where Harry was sleeping.
He knew Leo? Hundreds of times sounded impossible unless they went to Hogwarts together or were in the Order together, both of which could have been possibilities. But who could it have been? Everyone he was close to had died. Marlene, Dorcas, the Prewetts. Snape, but there is no way Remus wouldn’t recognize Severus’ voice. The only boy he thought it could be was currently trapped in a prison cell thousands of miles away from him, but Remus couldn't help but hope.
“Are you Sirius? You… You couldn't be… Padfoot is it you?” Remus whispered into the phone, silently praying the man had managed to somehow fool the Ministry and escape on his own. Remus heard the footsteps stop and a sharp breath from the other end.
“I’m sorry Remus. I shouldn’t have even said anything. Sirius is still in prison. If I was Sirius, i wouldn't be wasting all of my free time trying to get me out of prison would I?” The man sighed again and continued walking. “Also I don't think Sirius could go a week without seeing you of his own volition, let alone almost two years. That man has your name tattooed on his ribs, Moony, it's safe to say you'd be getting more than a few letters if he had somehow managed to escape.”
Remus huffed out a laugh, especially at the Moony comment, but made no further remark. At this point, Remus would be happy to know that Sirius was at least fed and clean. He didn't need anything else from the man, especially knowing the last time they did see each other ended with a fight. On the other line, Remus could hear Leo opening a door and whispering something quietly to Harry, before muttering a quick Sonorus spell at the phone.
“Okay Lupin, I made the phone extra loud so Harry should be able to hear you too. Or I broke the phone. I haven't actually done magic in a year. So I guess say something and we’ll see if it worked?”
“Uh… Hello? Hi Harry! Happy Birthday! …Is it working?” Remus began twirling the cord of the phone around his fingers anxiously waiting for a response. On the other end of the phone, Remus could hear faint whispers, and then all of a sudden, “HI MOONY ITS NICE TO MEET YOU! I’M THREE!” and then a quiet, “Good job, Bambi, I’m so proud of you!” followed by giggles.
Remus, Leo, and Harry spent the next hour making breakfast and eating, Remus from his kitchen and Leo and Harry from theirs, on the phone the entire time. Remus caught himself with his eyes closed a few times, imagining he was getting to spend this time with his godson. After breakfast, Harry asked Leo if they were still going to the park, which had apparently been the plan for the day. Remus was about to start saying his goodbyes, knowing they couldn’t talk on the phone forever, when Harry said, “Moony can you come to the park too?” Remus froze, heart beating fast in his chest. He knew it wasn’t so much a question for himself, but for Leo. For his and Harry’s safety. Remus could tell Leo was trying to figure out how to explain to this sweet three-year-old boy that Remus was a danger, without sounding like a villain. So Remus coughed and chimed in.
“I would love to come to the park, but unfortunately I have to go to work in a few. Paperwork, you see. Payroll, money, gotta make sure these hard-working girls and guys get paid! But how about I call again tonight before you go to bed? You can tell me all about the park okay?” Harry seemed to contemplate this for a second and then agreed, running away from the phone without anything more than a “Bye Moony!” In his direction.
“Thank you for that,” Leo said quietly, “I hate telling him no more than anything, but I just don’t think I could figure out a way to make it work.”
“It’s true, Leo, I do have to go to work. But I also could’ve pushed it til tonight. I want him to be safe too. And I know you’re probably not ready for a stranger to come in and be godfather. But I would, if it matters. If you let me I would be there. But no rush. Okay?”
“Thank you, Remus. For not making me the bad guy.”
“You aren’t a bad guy Leo.”
“But I am, though. Or, I was. Or, I guess, I could have been. But thank you all the same.”
“I could’ve been too. I’m a poor, gay, half-blood werewolf. I wasn’t expected to be good. I just met a boy on a train and he saved me.” Remus smiled, thinking back to the day Sirius pulled him into his compartment on the Hogwarts Express, forever changing his life.
“Yeah.. I think I forget sometimes that being a good person isn’t often the easy choice. James and Lily made it look so easy but for Sirius and me…. And you too, it seems, it was one of the hardest choices to make. But not Lily though. She was always good. And James… James was the sun.” Leo sounded like he was crying and Remus wanted nothing more than to reach through the phone and comfort the man.
“Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them,” Remus said.
“I’ve heard that before, who said that?” Leo asked quietly.
“A muggle writer, William Shakespeare. I often think James and Lily were born for greatness. They had that Gryffindor courage through and through. But the rest of us. We achieved greatness. And Harry. Well, Harry just was forced into this. That greatness was thrust upon him without him doing anything. And our job, keeping him safe, that’s the greatest thing we can do.”
“Thank you Remus.”
“Thank you, Leo. I’ll talk to you tonight, okay?” Remus began packing up a coffee to take in to the pub, phone pressed between his shoulder and his ear.
“..Yes tonight. See you then.” Leo said, sounding uncertain and somewhat distracted.
“Well, talk to you then. Can’t see you through the phone can I?” Remus chuckled, hanging up the phone.
————————————————————
Remus had just finished putting together the paystubs and sent an owl to Gringotts, ensuring that the money for the proper paychecks would be taken out of the pub account that evening. It had taken him a little longer to get going, and he had hoped to make it back to his flat before it was too late to call to say goodnight to Harry. As he was packing up to leave, Pandora poked her head into his office.
“Hey boss, is there any chance you could watch the bar for half an hour? My neighbor just called to tell me she can’t watch Luna and I need to go pick up Emmy to cover my shift tonight.” Pandora had recently begun sharing a bit of her personal life with Remus and he’d just learned of Pandora's two-year-old daughter, Luna, whom she shared custody of with her ex, Xeno. Unfortunately, Xeno was out of the country more than he was in it, leaving Pandora to be as much of a single mother as one can be.
“Of course Dora, I’ll take over. Go on, I’ll be fine!” Remus took over her spot at the till and began checking the alcohol levels to see if he needed to grab anything from the back. The bar wasn’t busy, so he popped into the back to grab a couple of bottles of fire whiskey and a new mead Pandora had insisted they get for the upcoming season. As he was walking back up to the front, he heard the chime of the door opening and shouted, “Just one minute! I’ll be right out!” And quickly levitated the bottles in front of him.
On the other side of the door, Remus looked around to see who had entered, not noticing anyone new in the pub. He gently sat down the bottles and turned, finding a man sitting at the end of the bar, hidden from view almost entirely.
“Sorry mate, didn’t see you there! What can I get you?” Remus started walking over, freezing when he recognized the curly black hair under the hood of the cloak the man was wearing. At that moment the man raised his head, meeting Remus' hazel eyes with his stormy gray ones.
“Regulus? I thought you were dead.”
“Hey, Remus. It’s a long story, but I thought it was time we met.” Remus’ heart started pounding in his chest.
“We’ve met before, Regulus. Dozens of times.”
Remus froze as the words left his mouth.
“Hundreds even, right Lupin?” Regulus smirked, and Remus choked in a gasp.
“Leo?” Remus whispered, so quiet he wasn’t even sure the words left his mouth.
“In the flesh. And I think it’s about time I told you a little story. It’s not a happy story. But I think it’s time you knew why I was chosen to raise Harry. And why you’ll be coming with me when the night is over. A story about a star. His sun. A secret. And a cave.”
As Emmy walked in to relieve Remus, he quickly followed Regulus out of the Pub, took his hand, and with a blur and a crack, they were gone.