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Monday 21 November, 1994- #1 song I’ll Make Love To You by Boyz II Men

He feels disgusting. He is shirtless in a bed he doesn't recognise, he is freezing despite how much he is sweating, his hair is sticking to his face, he is exhausted even though he probably got well over eight hours of sleep due to the bright yellow light shining through the window. He also he has a lingering sense of uneasiness making him nervous for no reason. 

Oh, and he is starving. He feels like he hasn't eaten in days.

He doesn't bother looking over to the large figure by him, standing, slowly, from the bed. It takes him a moment, when he stands his body feels empty and mind spins. His vision goes blurry for a moment and fades. He feels hands steady his hips, not realising he must’ve swayed. 

“You alright? The first morning is a bitch.” A husky voice says slowly, the voice is deep, and sounds clogged with sleep. He swivels around to find the large man he apparently slept with, but judging how his body feels it had to have only been sleep, nothing else. He feels like shit, but not the way he normally is after spending the night with a rather large man. 

“What?” Regulus whispers out, eyes meeting James’. He is thankful its James his eyes meet, he was worried it was the jerk he met last night, that, with poor judgement, he took a pill from. 

“Coke? I assume that's what you had judging by how fast your heart rate was and the nosebleed I had to help you with.” James laughs and stands, going to change clothes. James was still in last night's clothes, but Regulus wasn't? 

“Did you take my clothes off?” Regulus asks quietly, a dark blush creeping up his ears.

“No,” James laughs. “You must’ve gotten hot and taken it off, you’re probably bloody freezing now, huh?” He walks over to Regulus, now fully dressed, holding a dark red sweater. “It won't fit you in the slightest, but it's better than nothing.” James also grabs a pair of sweatpants and hands it to him.

“Thanks.” Regulus mutters and sheepishly motions for James to turn around. James complies, a humorous smile on his face but he does so. When Regulus has the sweater on and sweatpants on, James drags him closer by the pant waistline, tying the drawstring as tight as he can without hurting the smaller man so that they don't fall. Regulus thanks him again as he finishes the tie. The pants go so far past his feet it's almost comical, but the sweater goes almost to his knees, so he is in no room to care. Regulus can feel James look his up and down, he shifts uncomfortably in attempt to make himself smaller under the gaze of a man he feels holds superiority over him.

“Put some shoes on, we are gonna go to a bakery around the corner.” James checks the time, 9:47, great. Regulus nods and shuffles over to where his shoes were tossed by the bed last night by James- still feeling James’ gaze on his back. It makes him itch uncomfortably and his uneasiness only worse. His mind felt fuzzy enough that he did not focus on it too much. He has never felt like this before, sure he has drunk more alcohol in a few hours than one should and woken up to regret that. He has smoked one too many blunts before. But after just a few lines of cocaine, he feels like his world has been spun off its axis. But he also misses the feeling, God, it was amazing. He felt like he was truly free, no parental issues or money worries. No famous brother who was constantly leaving him in the dust, no terrible exes that beat him half to death. Just easiness, excitement, and a fast track on the speakers. Also, a very handsome man watching his every move with a glass of whiskey tight in his grip.

He finds himself thinking of the next time he can do it, this’ll be fine.

“People are gonna think you fucked me.” Regulus mummers as they walk down the hallway, light blue walls and a thin carpet with an atrocious pattern. 

“What's wrong with that?” James laughs. Lord, he is always laughing, why? What does he have to laugh about? Doesn’t he feel like shit? Or is it just Regulus suffering here? “C’mon, caffeine’ll help.” James elbows his shoulders and leads him out of the hotel.

They step outside and the cold air makes him freeze for a second before continuing with James. He is still freezing his ass off, there are goosebumps all over his body. He shivers and James rubs his back trying to push warmth into his body. They aren't talking as they move through London; James is humming the song that Regulus showed them yesterday under his breath. Regulus’ chest puffs out with excitement, a smile pulls his lips tight, no teeth showing but his eyes shine. James looks down at him feeling the bubbly gaze.

“What?” He laughs, more laughing!

“My song!” 

“Yeah, it was a fucking incredible song. If I knew you could produce a song like that all on your own, I would’ve brought you here sooner.” Regulus shines under the words, when he was younger, he was horrified of anyone hearing his music. He would sing as quietly as possible in his room and silence the guitar with his finger when he heard someone walk by, horrified. He didn’t want to stop; he just didn't want to be heard. He would skip meals with the family, not that upset to leave the cold, silent atmosphere, to go to his room and sing when he knew he wouldn't be heard. Of course he was punished later, pushed in a dark closet or had food privileges taken for a few days. His mother said it was just basic discipline, and it kept his figure small. So, who was he to contradict his mother? He wasn't a contradictory person; he was scared to sing louder than a whisper let alone speak against his own parents. 

Regulus just laughs and picks up his step.

“Just imagine what we can make together.” James whispers in Regulus’ ear and tugs on his hair. Regulus swats his hand and smiles.

“ We?” Regulus mimics and grins. 

“We.” They step in the bakery, the warm light straining his eyes for a moment. “Come on, breakfast on me.” James takes his hand and drags him further. 

They both order- two blueberry muffins, a black coffee for James, and an americano for Regulus. They take a seat and begin numerous meaningless conversations.

“Why would he do that?” Regulus says through hard laughter, his core hurts from the laughs and his eyes are squeezed shut.

“Because he was- is- in love! God, it took him years to realise he loved Remus, I have witnessed him do and say countless things all before the first kiss!” James laughs as he recounts the story of when Sirius had split red wine all over Remus’ date's white shirt because he hated him, at the time Sirius thought he was homophobic for being so mad that Remus was with another man. Turns out he was just jealous. Regulus has a hard time imagining feeling that way about anyone. 

“I don't think I could ever be that dumb.” Regulus mutters as he shakes his head.

“Even when you're in love?” 

“I don't think I’ll ever be in love, hasn’t really been working out for me.” He shrugs and James raises an eyebrow.

“Why?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why do you believe you’ll never fall in love?”

“Oh, well, just hasn’t really worked out for me. I’ve been used, hurt, insulted. All of them I thought were it, I guess,” Regulus takes a moment to chew on his words, moving them around to try to make them form his thoughts correctly. “It’s just not in the cards for me.” He finalises. 

“I think you’re wrong.” James states.

“Hmm?”

“I’ll show you one day, c’mon, we need to get ready to show Minnie the new song.” James sets cash down on the table and stands, reaching his hand out for Regulus to grab, he complies, and they go on their way. 

“Tell me about one of those terrible men who taught you that you could never fall in love.” Regulus raises his eyebrows in a sort of shock. “Go on then.”

“Well, there was Blake, bloody minger he was. Always had to remind him to brush his teeth.” Regulus laughs and James seems a little joyous that he was a gross man. “But he was an angry man atop of everything, always throwing things when he didn't get his way. Punched and bit, yeah bit. He would bite when we shagged if he was upset, wasn't even worth it, never got off. For a man who was, how do I say this, as large as him. Y’know-” Regulus motions about nine inches between two hands in the air. “Just hurt most of the time. But boy was he loaded, bought me anything I could want and always got his plane to take us around the world- spontaneous gambling in Las Vegas, Grand Prixes in Monaco, dinners in France. Everything, he always felt bad after hitting me and would take us places- as long as I covered up the bruises of course.”

“Regulus, that’s-” James stands there a little gobsmacked by the information dump Regulus just gave him. 

“Don’t act like that, you weren't the one who punched me. I guess he always reminded me of my father- even looked a cheeky bit like him.” Regulus laughs softly even though it's not funny- but if he doesn't laugh, he cries. 

“I’m still sorry, I've never, I’ve never experienced anything like that so I’m not really sure how else to feel.”

“It’s alright, feels a little silly now.”

“It shouldn’t.” Regulus hums and leans against James’ touch, messing with the sleeve of James sweatshirt of the arm that is around his shoulders. James’ skin is warm, and he smells like Old Spice deodorant and Calvin Klein One cologne. It makes his stomach burn and his head feel a little dizzy, the feeling is foreign and quite frankly makes him anxious.

The man at the front doors of the hotel greets them kindly and James drags them upstairs, dropping Regulus off at his room before heading to his. When the door shuts, he tries to calm himself down, to no avail. He gives up and moves across the room to shower, still feeling grotty from the night before. He strips James’ clothes from his body and looks at himself in the dirty hotel mirror. He is rather fit, six well defined lines on his stomach and only deepen when he breathes out. A small silver star of David that he hasn't removed since he was 13 hanging from his neck. Freckles, light and dark brown, dotting his entire body and covering his nose and cheeks heavily, but being lightly placed everywhere else on his face. Black curls cut quite short on the sides of his head and grew out a little longer on the top. Sunken green eyes, rosy cheeks, and pink lips pursed as he assesses his face and body. His eyelashes are dark and long, and his brows are thick but clean. He sighs and steps into the hot water, assessing himself makes his stomach churn. 

He doesn't take too long in the shower, a simple ten minutes, just enough time to clean his hair, face, body, and quickly shave his upper lip when he steps out of the steam. He doesn't hold the ability to grow any real hair on his face, so if he doesn't shave what is there, he just looks dumb. But he doesn't dwell on it too much, he doesn't truly believe he would look that good with a beard. He applies deodorant, Degree Cool Rush, and cologne, Acqua Di Gio Armani, before sliding on Calvin Klein boxers and Jeans, the boxer's waistband is visible even with jeans on. He hears a knock on the doors and rushes over. 

“Oh, hey handsome.” James laughs when Regulus opens the door, neglected shirt still on the bed. 

“Shush, c’mon, I’ll grab your clothes.” Regulus leaves the door a bit more open as he pads over to the bathroom to find the discarded sweater and pants. 

“Oh, no, you keep those. Just coming to check on ya before we visit Minnie. Come here.” James says from the bed as he motions for Regulus who is busy himself with folding the clothes. He complies and slots himself between James’ legs. Their scents mingle together as they hold eye contact. 

“Don’t you smell fresh; must be nice after the night you had.” James laughs and puts two hands on either side of Regulus’ waist. “Didn’t know my best friends baby brother worked out.” He winks and Regulus’ face goes hot. 

“Y’know for the person who came here to make sure I was ready, you sure are making it harder to achieve readiness.” James laughs and lightly squeezes his sides before letting him go. He pulls on the shirt he got at the '93 Nirvana tour, his brown leather jacket, and black Adidas sambas from his soccer days. 

“Lovely, ready to go?” James gets up and goes to stand behind him in the mirror. Regulus hums and walks out with him. James is in jeans, the same Tommy Hilfiger jeans that go down to the floor, a Biggie Ready To Die tee shirt, and a Jean jacket with loads of pins and patches. And red converse that are untied.

“Tie your shoes, you child.” Regulus laughs and stops them in the middle of the hallway. James sighs and bends down to tie his shoes. Regulus can see a small sliver of brown skin when he leans down, he feels like a Victorian man seeing shoulders, he quickly looks away but can’t help but feel off.

“Happy, mum?” 

“Very!” Regulus leans up on his toes to pat James on the cheek before walking the rest of the way to the elevator.

“Slow down, you’d think for someone with such short legs you wouldn’t be so fast, you’re barely pushing five feet.” James laughs.

“Okay, first, I have proper haste in my pace, thank you. And two, I am so not pushing five feet!” 

“Oh, so you’re shorter than that? I was thinking 4 '11 but that felt like a tad bit of an understatement.” 

“I am 5’5, thank you!” James looks down at him and raises his eyebrow. “I am!”

“Mhm.” James pushes them out as the elevator dings, and they meet up with Remus, Sirius, and Peter in the lobby. A redheaded girl is there too, she is rather beautiful, and her eyes are a bright green while Regulus’ are dark.

“Hi! M’ Lily, pleasure. You’re cuter than James described, simply lovely all around.” She smiles bright and winks at James who sinks under her gaze a little. It’s so enjoyable to see a girl, the same size as Regulus, level a 6 '3 fit man so well, he is so amused he almost misses the fact that James spoke to Lily about him. About how he looks. 

“Hi.” He mumbles and smiles. She beams and links her arm with his so they can walk together.

“I’m basest for The Valkyrie’s, but I help your idiotic band mates with producing music, so I follow y’all around sometimes. Been waiting to meet you, cutie.” Lily smiles and hip bumps Regulus. 

“I- well never heard of you but it’s still lovely to meet you.” He smiles shyly and she smiles largely at him. They all stuff into two cabs- Lily, James, and Regulus getting into one, Lily sits in the front seat and winks at James, he flips her off and Regulus just shrugs before stepping into the seat, closely followed by James. Girls & Boys  by Blur is playing softly on the radio as the driver hums along. 

“Where ya headin’?” 

“140 Goldhawk Road.” Lily responds before answering a message on her cell. Regulus sits silently, picking at the skin of thumb. His head bobs a little when the beat of Juicy starts, James looks over at him and smiles. 

“What?” Regulus mumbles, looking at James out of the corner of his eye.

“Nothin’, you’re just cute. Didn’t take you as a B.I.G. guy.” James breathes out a laugh and Regulus smiles softly. 

“Everyone’s a Biggie fan.” Regulus shrugs.

“Not everyone.” He contradicts.

“Okay,” He draws out the ‘O’, “You’re either a Biggie fan or a Pac fan, happy?” 

“So, you’re a Big guy?”

“Don’t really care about all that, 2Pacalypse  was amazing, no shootings or beef’ll change that.” James smiles at him again and leans back, nodding to himself. Regulus grabs the edge of James shirt and looks at it before letting go and dusting off the invisible specks. 

“ Big guy. ” Regulus mocks and laughs under his breath. 

“In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey

Butane in my veins and I'm out to cut the junkie”

The last song begins to play before they step out of the cab.

When they step into the lobby of the office, the receptionist is swaying to Burn This Disco Out as she types on her Macintosh computer. James has been meaning to get one, but they are just fucking massive, and he doesn't think it’ll be much of a use. 

‘Hiya, you here to see McGonagall?” She asks as they step up. She looks them over and eyes Reg a little.

“Yep.” James replies.

“Who’s the little one? Does Gonagall know about him?” She asks, James sees him sink under her gaze.

“Yeah, she knows.” Sirius says and she nods before letting them in. “Heh, little one .” Sirius laughs when they walk through the door. Regulus huffs and crosses his arms.

“You’re like an inch taller than me!” He argues but everyone else is very much laughing at him. “Whatever.” James laughs and wraps his arms around Reg’s shoulders from behind, resting his head on the shorter boy's head. Regulus grabs his wrist and squeezes it a few times. 

“Ready to rock to whiskers off Minnie?” James says as Regulus attempts to bite his arm.

“Whiskers?”

“She is a big cat lady, like 10 at her house.” Remus confirms, Regulus nods with his eyes squinted a little.

“If we get this done, we are gonna go see a movie, the cinema is pretty empty today.” Pete says because they have not informed Regulus of the plans.

“What movie?”

“‘Pulp Fiction’ came out a couple of weeks ago. Some American movie, s’got John Travolta in it so it's gotta be pretty good.” Regulus hums and leans into James, he can feel the weight of Regulus in his arms and blissful joy hits him like a freight train, he wants to just pick him up and carry them away from here. But he can’t do that, sadly, so he just walks into the room Minnie’s waiting in. 

“Evening boys, lovely to meet you Regulus.” She gets up and pulls Regulus into a hug, away from James. “Aren’t you a cute thing?” Minnie grins and Regulus smiles shyly. 

“Can we start?” Pete says from behind the group, everyone nods, and Minerva sits back down while The Marauders grab their instruments. 

“What's it called again, Reggie?” Sirius says as he plugs his bass in.

“Em, You Know Me.” Regulus mutters, Minnie hums and keeps her eyes on the smaller Black. Remus starts the count and begins the music; the beat is slow as Peter starts it out and Remus joins in. James can’t help but move along before he starts playing along. Regulus’ voice soon fills the room, it is unique and just the thing their band needs to reach a larger audience. It's jazzy and rhythmic. His eyes gently close and his lips move carefully, James loses his focus and almost messes up the song, almost. It comes to a perfect end, and they all restrain themselves from celebrating in front of McGonagall. But Sirius still has a massive grin on his face, one that could only ever belong to Sirius Black, and he wraps an arm around his brother’s shoulders. Minnie is smiling and nodding too.

“That was…” She pauses trying to form the right words. “Lovely, I’d say you’ve got an album in your hands. I want you to start working on more songs now, and we will schedule recording time sometime next week.” They all stand and thank her; she pulls Regulus aside and whispers in his ear. James doesn’t hear it but Regulus smiles and thanks her more. They exit the room when they finish and meet Lily in the lobby, she is talking to the receptionist, they’re talking about the artist Zhané, some hip hop group some people have been talking about. 

“Groove Thang has been fucking climbing the charts, so has Hey Mr. D.J., I heard they’re going on a tour next year, Marlene is trying to convince me to go, but like, not really my style of music.” Lily is leaning on the desk as she talks to the receptionist, Julie, who is humming along to her words.

“Could still be fun, I think all live music is good, no matter the band. Like last week, me and my friend, Kim, flew to New Orleans to see the Never Ending Tour. It was a random ass Sunday, and I only went because it was her birthday, not a big boy band fan. But I still had loads of fun, no vodka needed.” Julie explains.

“You’re probably right, thanks, Jules.” Lily hugs her bye, and Julie blows her a kiss before Lily comes to meet them. November 13, she really wanted to see Bob Dylan, never got tickets. But did have to watch the Australian Grand Prix with Dorcas. Rich people and their weird sports. “So, how’d it go?”

“So,” Sirius draws out the ‘O’ obnoxiously, “Amazing, we have a new album in our future!”

“That’s amazing! Took ya long enough.” She teases and gets elbowed by Remus. “Wanna get dinner before the movie?” 

“Thank god.” Peter mutters as they restuff into cabs, James pats him on the back and they make their leave.