Untitled

Wednesday 20 November, 1994- #1 song I’ll Make Love To You by Boyz II Men

The first thing James noticed about him was the look of innocence on his face.

Which isn't what James expected knowing what he knows about this boy's past.

Short jet-black hair, big green eyes, and freckles some light, some dark scattered all around his face but heavier around his nose and cheeks. He’s wearing baggy jeans that hang low on his hips, a grey sweater short enough to where you can see a sliver of the pale skin of his waist, a brown leather jacket, and penny loafers James assumes are Doc Martens.

He looks cool, and effortless, like someone James would go up to in a pub and buy a drink. 

“So you're Regulus.” James states walking up to the slightly confused looking boy, he looks up at James and James releases just how pretty he is, his lips are parted and James can see a small gap between his front teeth.

“Yup, you're James, yeah?” Regulus has a thick accent, you can tell he is from London from just one word out of his mouth. His lips have a slight uptilt and his eyes are adventurous, every doubt James has about his disappears, but he can tell this will be a difficult one. 

To make it as a rock star you can't be too frisky, that's how you get thrust into everything under the sun- people, drugs, alcohol. You don't want to be the star people read about overdosing in a hotel room, but how else are you meant to write interesting songs? James is trying to figure that out. Not fast enough though, Sirius invited Regulus to the band because they feel they are lacking something in their lyrics, and maybe a little in their sound. That, hopefully, is where Regulus comes in, Sirius swears up and down his baby brother is the next big thing. Everyone wants to be the next big thing, James doesn't buy any of it, he won't till he hears a song. Everyone has a dream, but not everyone is meant for the life it brings. 

“In the flesh, come on, I’ll show you to the rest of the band.” Regulus nods and starts to follow James, he has a guitar with him. Its black wood with a silver star painted in the middle, it looks well-used and is missing the sixth string. James always thought that string was stupid, it made the sound funky. He always cuts his.

“Your sixth string is missing,” James comments as they walk through the long hallway full of silver, gold, and diamond records, one of them being theirs.

“Yeah, I cut it- makes the sound weird.” Regulus shrugs and James can't help the smile. He can see Regulus’ eyes flick down his face and go back up to his eyes.

“You got songs to sing? And music for us to play?”

“That's what I’m here for isn't it.”

“I thought you would have just come for the coke.”

“That too, but mostly the music, that's what everyone's on about.” Regulus smirks and walks into the room the band is in with an air of knowledge even though he doesn't know where he is going. 

They all greet each other, Remus already knows Regulus because it is important to Sirius that his boyfriend knows his only blood family- parents having been sent to jail after heavy convictions of child abuse. Sirius embraces his little brother and begins raving about how good a songwriter he is, but not as good as Sirius. Regulus just smiles and watches his brother fondly, Sirius is a little taller and larger than Regulus, James notices. He hums thinking about how you never see a taller older sibling but Regulus seems to be smaller and slighter- Sirius has classic masculine handsomeness while Regulus holds feminine leaning features- beautiful is the only word that comes to mind, simply lovely. 

The walls of the room are a warm yellow and there are three couches positioned in a half circle so they can all sit and talk, they don't for a while, but the room has a clear purpose, and James likes it. 

“Should we go and try to figure one of your songs out, Reg?” Peter says motioning his hands to the door, his pink cheeks are balled from the smile on his face and his light eyebrows raise a little. Regulus nods to the man with fair hair and picks up his five-stringed instrument, walking to the door with purpose again, it draws James in. 

“I’ve never heard you sing, did you do anything with it in school?” Remus asks as they walk to the practice room.

Regulus laughs and answers with a simple “Church choir.” but says nothing else. Remus smiles though, as if he understands Regulus completely- James thinks about that smile, taking it as his own, knowing Regulus, understanding a mere two words, knowing his purposeful gait, his mysterious voice. 

They get to the practice room, it hasn't been updated since the early 70s- dark wood panels lining the wall, yellow carpet, tables all around with ashtrays, brown sofas and chairs, and amps lying around.

It smells like cigarette smoke and perfume, Marlene and her band must’ve been here last- the ashtrays are freshly used. Regulus looks around and takes it in, nodding approvingly, James smiles and goes to sit on the floor next to Peter- sofas forgotten. Regulus sits too and pulls out a leather bound journal, Sirius sits on a brown chair with his base and Remus sits at his drum sets, they both have the sheet music Regulus gave them. James has it too, it's messy and written in green pen, James’ has a small coffee stain on the corner.

When they begin playing, the sound is rhythmic and jazz-like, it gives James an old unrecognisable feeling, Peter's keyboard is what catches his ear the most. The keys are harsh and make your heart match its beat. Regulus waits a few beats before singing, and when he does James can help but be sucked into all that is Regulus Black.

You sit down rolling in the pain

I walk away ‘cause I got nothing to say

You whisper “Is it over now?”

And I tear you down with the harshest words

‘Cause you tire me out

I’m not sure what you’re about

He waits a second before singing the chorus, he has a slight rasp in his voice that vibrates James’ whole body. 

I run away

Just like I always do

I get too bored and feel just about through

I’ll just listen to your music and sway

Another few beats.

Last night I left the bar with him

A brand new guy in a fresh new car

He seems blank but it’s a new day

Maybe this is the one for me at last

You left a scar

First boy to send me astray

Maybe you’ll find a pretty pornstar that won't betray

I run away 

Just like I always do

I get too bored and feel just about through

I’ll just listen to your music and sway

James can't remove his eyes from Regulus as he sings- his eyes are closed and his lips move apart more as he sings with more energy, holding notes and showing off what James considers a blessing from God, maybe this is what you get from the church choir. Regulus moves into the bridge as they play the final notes and the sound picks up-

I can’t convey

 What all you did to me

 But under you, I would never be free

Sorry I had to flee

But you know me

I told you who I was at the start of us

If there was ever an only-us

Seems you went to her worse

At least I know you cared too

And that you used to be true

I run away 

Just like I always do

I’ll just listen to the music and sway

Uh uh, listen to the music and sway

Woah, and sway

Sway

Oh, sway

When Regulus finishes singing they play the last couple of beats and then come to a slow stop, James can feel the smile overcome his face- Next big thing, next big thing.

They laugh to themselves and start clamouring around Regulus- some people forget that they are boys, but they still get excited when they hear a good song. 

“What drinks does everyone want?” An assistant comes through the door and quietly asks. She is tall and lean with a sharply cut face. She is probably in London trying to get a modelling contract but working in the music industry hoping she meets people, too bad there are a million of her in New York, London, and Paris. Not to mention all the people rushing to LA. James asks for a whiskey and so does Remus, Sirius gets a beer, and Peter wants a rum and coke, Regulus asks- incredibly kindly, you don't see that behaviour towards assistants much- for a vodka tonic. 

“That’s perfect, Reg, we betta show it to Menerva soon, she digs that sorta stuff- so do I, I guess.” Sirius laughs and pats his brother on the back. Regulus laughs and checks a text on his cell- it's small in his hand, all of them are. But everyone is still excited to use their brand-new tech, even if it shits out sometimes.

“We outa go out tonight, yeah? It’s still isn't too majorly cold outside so we outa milk it while we can.” Peter says finishing the beer he was brought less than ten minutes ago.

“Sounds cool, I could use another pint.” Sirius shrugs and looks around at the others.

“I'm cool.” James nods and Remus agrees. “Regulus?”

“Uhh, yeah, I mean if you want me there, don’ wanna intrude.”  Regulus plays with the sixth tuner of his guitar, without a string attached it spins around easily and silently.

“You’re not, come on, kid.” Sirius laughs and drags his brother up by the collar.  

They arrive at the bar, the lights are low and and a dark hue of red, the lights used to give James a headache, but after a few drinks, it always fades out. They walk past a bouncer, a large man with tanned skin and broad shoulders, intimidating at first glance but he just nods at them and lets them go in. The entire place smells of cigarettes, whiskey, and lust. A few women are grinding on every different type of man, two women are making out on an ash stained sofa, and two boys are staring at each other with large eyes and gaped mouths.

A man is staring down Regulus, he has honey-blonde hair and a shirt so tight you can see every muscle ripple with movement. Regulus is staring back at him, he excuses himself and walks over, the man immediately puts a hand on his hip and orders him a drink. James’ stomach burns, he is unsure of why so he just goes to the bar and orders a neat whiskey. His eyes never leave Regulus- now drinking a gin and tonic, James sees the larger man give him a pill, he looks it over and says something, the man shrugs and Regulus takes it with his drink.

James downs his whiskey and orders another, a woman comes up to him- drunk and extravagant- James just waves her off not caring how rude he is being. He could use one of those pills, instead he just pulls out a cigarette and lights it, still staring at the dark-haired boy he met hours ago. 

Regulus leans down to the table, blocking James’ view of what he is doing, but James knows, he knows well. This is just the beginning, but James would be a hypocrite if he stopped them. Regulus straightens back up and laughs loudly looking up at the man. 

James should feel weird, sitting in a club alone watching a man he barely knows, but the whiskey smooths him out, his head feels quiet and he is simply watching. 

Regulus excuses himself and walks over to James, he is giggly and has a slight bounce in his step. James hums before sipping his drink.

“Hiya,” Regulus sing-songs, his nose is red and he rubs at it a little, James tells himself it’s because of allergies, in late November.

“Hey, you alright? “ James says softly, not soft as in quiet, but he knows how Regulus’ll be right now.

“Great, great, I don't know why I came over here actually, he was just bland, never even learned his name.” Regulus giggles to himself, looking all around the club, never keeping his eyes stationary for longer than a second. His pupils are so dilated you couldn’t tell he has green eyes even in broad daylight. 

“Sit down, love.” James sees him sway on his feet, he sits down and giggles a little to himself. “What’s funny?” Regulus shrugs to himself, still shaking softly with humour.

James watches him for a moment, his eyes are still blown wide and his mouth is slightly parted, he licks his chapped lips a few times before a drop of blood hits his top lip. It’s hard to see in this light, practically a black smear on his face. Regulus doesn’t seem to notice. James grabs a napkin from the bar, shaking off his used cigarette and removing all the ash. 

He gets close to Regulus, who isn’t in a state of mind to reject. He holds the napkin to his face and hears him groan slightly, it’s not a lot of blood but it’s something he probably doesn’t want dripping on his sweater.

“Wanna go to the hotel, love?” James asks close to his ear- smokey breath making Regulus shiver. He hums in consent. James helps him up and they walk, slowly, out of the loud bar. The cold air hits their dry faces, it burns slightly but is a needed break from the loud club. It’s oddly quiet compared to the building behind them, you can hear cars driving past and footsteps, and it’s late enough that even the drunken folk keep their voices down.  

Hand waving in the air, James successfully flags down a cab and slowly helps Regulus, and himself, into the small car. Murmuring instruction to the foreign-looking man, he feels the car jerk slightly as they begin to drive, James hears Regulus groan at the movement. He rubs the younger man’s back as they drive in silence.

James tries to steer Regulus to his room, but for such a slight man he is hard to handle. They just go to James’ room, Regulus immediately shuffles over to the bed, kicking off his shoes and falling face-first into the bed, he doesn’t seem to care about the eyeliner on his face or the clothes still on his back. 

James walks over to him and shuffles him out of his jacket and slips the shoes from his feet- tossing them aside, but he resolves that there is nothing he can do about the rest of him except for simply manoeuvring him to be properly under the covers with a head on a pillow. 

James, also lacking any fuck in the world, takes off his shoes and jacket and sinks into the bed. When they both fall asleep, which is in mere moments, all the lights are on and the door is unlocked. Makeup is smeared over faces and heads are beginning to ache.

But that’s just something they deal with in the morning.