Bound by fate

Chapter 13 - Summer begin - end of 3rd year

A Mother's Worry 

"Hey," Scorpius whispers as he reaches Albus and stops next to him. "Where are Nott and Zabini?"

"We're already here!" Zabini's voice is also quiet as they stop in front of the restricted section of the library. "Let's get this over with," Nott adds, walking further forward. He turns to the others. "Are you coming now?"

They quickly follow Nott and when they are sure that no one can catch them, they breathe a sigh of relief. "Thought you loved adrenaline?" Scorpius asks Zabini, who nods. "I do. More than anything."

"What exactly are we looking for?" Albus asks, unable to suppress a judgmental look.

"Books for the process of transforming into Animagi," Nott explains. Scorpius looks around. "But you're already Animagi? You know how it works."

"Yes, but," Zabini begins, turning to Albus and Scorpius. He looks at them with a serious expression. "We don't remember every little detail, but it's all important to successfully complete the process. We're looking for this book for both of you so that you can start the process and the transformation in fourth year."

Albus freezes and his gaze darts over to Scorpius, who has become noticeably quiet.

"But it's our decision," Albus notes, and Scorpius nods absently. A smile forms on Nott's face and he folds his arms. "Yes, but we know you will choose to do so."

Albus sighs loudly, takes a few steps forward and takes a closer look at the forbidden section. The books look even older than those in the approved section. The smell of books, old parchment scrolls and very old, rotten wood breaks the atmosphere, no matter how pleasant it would be.

Albus wrinkles his nose before turning to Scorpius. "What do you think?"

Scorpius looks at him, an unfamiliar expression in his eyes. Albus has never seen it before.

"It's dangerous, too dangerous," Scorpius replies, but his words don't match the expression in his eyes.

"It doesn't matter if it's dangerous or stupid," Nott says. "The important question is; what do you want?" His eyes narrow and he moves closer to Albus and Scorpius.

Albus meets Scorpius' gaze again, which now shows more confidence.

,,Let's do it,"

It is the moment of silence when doubt creeps up in Albus. The moment the words are spoken, Albus understands that he will face the consequences if something bad happens.

This decision feels like a big goodbye. From his father. His father, who works as an Auror in the Ministry - who knows better than anyone that one should not perform illegal spells. With this decision he is betraying his father - at least that's how it feels to Albus.

But he wants to go through with it. Absolutely.

Albus is torn from his thoughts by a loud "yes" from Zabini and followed by a laugh from Nott.

"Here!" Zabini holds up a book before Nott grabs it. "Accio!" The book flies into Nott's hand and he catches it elegantly. With a snap of his fingers, the right page opens without having to wait long.

"It takes skill, practice, and patience for wizards and witches to become Animagi. The process of becoming an Animagus is long and arduous, and can also backfire and cause the transformation to go wrong.
Part of the process involves holding a mandrake leaf in the mouth for a whole month, and then using the leaf later to make the potion. If the leaf is swallowed, spat out, or disappears for whatever reason, the witch or wizard must start over at the next full moon. You'll have to read through this more carefully next school year anyway." Nott finishes reading, closes the book, and puts it in his bag.

"I'll hide it in my house and give it back to you in September. If my father finds it, he'll probably ignore it, but I'm not sure about you two," Nott adds quickly, Albus and Scorpius nod slowly.

The doubt about the decision is becoming ever greater.

Keeping a mandrake leaf in your mouth for a month? Who came up with that? This thing almost makes Albus give up and banish the subject forever. But he doesn't. Not now. It's just too interesting.

Footsteps sound and the four hurry to get out of the restricted area. Apparently they are not the only ones who need the restricted area at the moment.

They walk all the way out of the library, only to bump into Anna Heyward. The next second, her eyes narrow and her hands fold behind her back. "So, maybe you can explain to me why you ran out of the library like you had done something wrong?" Her voice is sharp, and at the end there is even a hint of unease. For whatever reason.

Albus' heart begins to race, every thought of what might happen if Anna gets wind of the matter causes a heavy knot to form in Albus' stomach. A shiver, a cold, relentless shiver, creeps up Albus' neck and shoulders as he senses and absorbs the silence spreading in the corridor.

Then Zabini clears his throat. "We didn't do anything, we just realized we were under time pressure," he lies easily, but Anna cuts him off. Zabini takes a deep breath, as if he had to hold himself back from saying something when he was interrupted.

"Just so you know: I'm good with Rosier, I know what he does and what he's like. And if you lie to me, I can become just like him. We're in charge in Slytherin - we can make your life miserable very quickly." There's a madness in her eyes that can almost keep up with Rosier's.

My life is already miserable, thinks Albus, but doesn't say it.

After the threat, she turns on her heel, but she stops once to look over her shoulder at the four.

"Try to adapt to us. You'll need it in the future," then she disappears around the corner.

What does she mean by that? Goosebumps cover his arms and he feels cold, as if he's going to freeze to death at any second.

-

"The summer holidays will be long, but I'm sure you can enjoy them," Scorpius interjects as he finishes packing his suitcase. Albus shakes his head. "No, of course not."

Albus closes his trunk when he suddenly senses a presence in the room that is not him, Scorpius, Nott or Zabini. His lungs constrict as he tries to calm himself down and slowly turn over.

There are two boys standing there, from the sixth grade. They have their arms crossed and they are leaning against the door frame.

"We were sent by Anna," one of them begins, Nott groans in annoyance. "What is it now?"

One boy raises an eyebrow and shakes his head for a moment. "Potter and Malfoy haven't done anything for their house. This year, I mean. They aren't on the list and haven't participated in any other traditions this year."

Albus closes his eyes for a moment, his breath catching as the thought hits him. He and Scorpius hadn't paid any attention to their house this school year - there would be consequences for him in fourth year.

"I just want you to know: Have fun next school year. Anna will remain a prefect."

Zabini kicks the two idiots out of the room before closing the door and turning to Albus and Scorpius. "You're stupid," He frowns, the ends of his hair falling into his eyes. He blows them away as he closes his trunk and sits on it. His leg wobbles as he watches Albus and Scorpius. Nott, who is standing next to the desk, slowly takes a few steps forward - unsure of what to do or say now.

"We know," Scorpius replies, before his expression becomes too desperate and he collapses onto his bed.

Albus' hands clench into fists as he takes a deep breath, trying to get air into his lungs. His head falls into his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. His head is going crazy. Bloody crazy. He's starting to feel sick and he can already taste the bile crawling up his throat like a fucking snake.

Have fun in the next school year.

This is more than just a threat.

Perhaps he signed his own death certificate.

》♡《

Saying goodbye to Scorpius is always the most painful thing Albus has to go through. That stab in his heart that spreads throughout his body, knowing that he won't be able to see him for weeks.

He watches as Scorpius gets off the train first. How he looks for his father, finds him, and goes to him.

Albus swallows, takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. He doesn't want to go home. Yes, he is no longer safe at Hogwarts because of Rosier and his friends, but he still doesn't want to go home. He wants to stay with Scorpius, hear his voice of reason, just stay with someone who understands him and stands by him.

He grips the handle of his suitcase tighter, his knuckles turning white.

Then he sighs, walks to the exit of the train and walks out. The fresh, warm air hits his face and his eyes burn from the sun shining down on him.

He has to squint his eyes to see anything because of the sun. His mother is the first to see him, with Lily already trapped in her arms.

For a brief moment, he scans the platform again to see if he can still see Scorpius. But he is already gone.

He has to go through this alone.

He walks towards his parents with slow, heavy steps, his lungs tightening at the thought that his father might still be disappointed in him.

"Hey, Albus," His mother smiles, reaching out to pull Albus into a hug. Her embrace feels warm, like home. Although the feeling and his thoughts don't match each other.

She breaks away after a few seconds of silence before he feels a familiar hand on his shoulder. "Welcome back, Albus." Harry's voice is soft, but at the same time Albus can hear the seriousness in his voice. His father means it seriously.

"It's good to see you again." At that moment, Albus lies because it feels like the only right decision at that moment.

A smile spreads across Harry's face and then Albus finds himself in his father's arms. The arms are wrapped protectively around him and for a moment, Albus feels worry and guilt spreading in his heart.

He swallows it down, it's not the right time. It never is.

Harry releases him from the embrace, his eyes still resting on Albus, who is slowly becoming more and more guilty. He turns his gaze away, but instead meets Lily's gaze, who looks at him skeptically. But then she saves Albus from the situation.

"Can we have some ice cream? Please?" Lily lets her lower lip tremble, that's how she always gets what she wants.

Ginny thinks for a moment before giving in. "Okay, sure. We can go to Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor." Harry glances at her.

"Honey, it hasn't been called Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor since 1996," he adds, Ginny shrugs. "But it will always be that way for me."

Albus can't help but smile.

-

It is so warm and sunny that the Potter family sits outside at the ice cream parlor. Lily has a large portion, as does James. Because of Albus's lovesickness, which he is currently suffering, he doesn't have much of an appetite. But he eats something anyway. Not much, but at least something.

"How was the school year?" asked Ginny as she took a sip of her drink. She had her hair in a braid because the weather was so hot.

"Perfect!" Lily replies loudly and grins, it was her first year of school.

"I'm going to be captain of the team next year," says James, his voice dripping with pride. Harry puts a hand on his arm and squeezes gently. "I'm proud of you."

Ginny nudges Albus with her finger because he is sitting across from her. She whispers, "And how was yours?" A smile plays on her lips.

It takes a while before Albus chooses his words carefully. "It was okay. Nothing exciting," he lies again and slowly he has the feeling that his guilty conscience is eating him up from the inside.

For a moment, something flashes in Ginny's eyes that Albus thinks is disappointment. But she couldn't have guessed that Albus was lying, could she? After all, he kept up his facade and his facial expressions were neutral, there was no suggestion that Albus was lying in any way.

He swallows the lump in his throat and hides his hands under the table. His hands shake with fear as he thinks that his mother might have caught him lying.

If she did that, then Albus is damn sure that he would soon have no secrets left and everything he had been hiding from his family for the last three years would come to light.

Ginny and Harry would finish off Rosier and his family. But James? Oh, he would probably kill Rosier in anger.

And Albus can't risk that.

Risking that his family will be in danger because of him. That his family will take revenge.

He has to do it alone. He has to manage to bring down Rosier on his own. He just doesn't know exactly how to do it yet.

"Okay," Ginny draws out her words, which is why Albus can see that this is not the answer Ginny actually wanted to give. She hesitated, she was unsure.

"We have a trip planned this summer," Harry says, making James, Lily and even Albus look up.

"Trip?" James asks, and there is so much excitement in his voice that Albus almost thinks James is about to explode at any moment.

"Yes," Harry continues, smiling lovingly at his wife. "We have a vacation planned. We'll tell you more when the time comes." He turns back to his children. Lily is getting nervous and is swinging her legs, a grin on her face. "It's going to be so nice! We've never had a real vacation before!"

Albus watches his sister and can't help but smile. Somehow it makes him happy to see his sister happy about something.

Maybe the vacation won't be so bad.

Maybe the vacation will even be nice.

》♡《

Albus sits on his bed with his legs crossed, a parchment in his left hand and a quill in his right hand. He unconsciously nibbles on the end of the quill, his thoughts swirling in his head like a raging storm threatening to break out.

He is considering whether he should write to Scorpius and if so, what.

Groaning, he throws the parchment and quill onto the floor, his back hitting the mattress. He starts to nibble on his lower lip, not knowing what to do. Not even a week has passed, and he misses Scorpius more than he has in the past three years.

Knowing that he is in love with the blonde boy is probably what makes it worse.

There is a knock on the door and Albus sits up quickly. He sighs, then says "Come in!" and his mother comes in, already dressed for bed. She looks tired, that's the first thing Albus notices.

"Hey, darling," she begins, taking a few steps forward. Her lips form a slight smile for a moment, which looks more than just fake for Albus' liking.

"Can I sit down?" she asks after a moment's hesitation, Albus nods. "Um, yes, sure,"

Albus' heart begins to race as he meets his mother's worried look. What's going on? Is it because of his lies?

"I, I'm worried. About you," she begins, and the word "you" drags out as if she doesn't want to say the word at all. It feels like torture.

Albus says nothing, although his mother's look suggests that she is waiting for an answer.

"You're so absent, Albus," Ginny explains, speaking slowly and carefully. As if she were afraid of this topic escalating.

"What do you mean? I'm not absent," Albus counters. He wants to avoid this conversation as much as possible.

"Yes, Albus. You are. I notice, your dad notices," Ginny murmurs, her eyes flying to the floor for a second before she looks back at Albus. There are tears in her eyes now.

Albus swallows, his heart aching at the sight.

"Albus, I have the feeling that Malfoy is not good for you. I don't want to say this, but..." she begins and has to take a deep breath, probably to avoid bursting into tears and crying in front of Albus.

"I've had bad experiences with the Malfoy family. That's why I'm worried about you," she finishes and closes his eyes.

"You are my son, I just want to protect you. I love you," she adds, stands up and stops in front of Albus.

Albus doesn't know what to say. His heart hurts so much that his lungs are starting to burn. Scorpius isn't hurting him. Or maybe he is?

"Albus, if there's anything wrong, please tell me. I want to protect you, okay?" she interjects, placing her hands tenderly on Albus' cheeks and pressing her lips against his forehead.

"Sleep well, good night," she smiles with tears in her eyes, her voice quiet and scratchy. With slow steps she walks out of the room and closes the door from outside.

"Good night," Albus murmurs into the darkness as his thoughts become loud and he no longer knows what to think.

When he is friends with Scorpius, he hurts his own family.

If he ends his friendship with Scorpius, Albus will be devastated. He will be finished.

He doesn't know what to do.