"Begin Again"
I sit by the lake under a willow tree that seems awfully familiar, yet I have no memory of it at all. Signs of the day being carried away are present in the sky. The oranges, pinks, and purples being carried away as day turns into night. The setting sun leaves an incandescent glow across the lake making the water seem clearer than ever. The stars begin to show at the top of the sky and for a minute I feel at peace. The ethereal glow fades and is replaced by the shining stars that illuminate the midnight blue sky.
I study for charms class. I make sure the pages of my book are perfectly straight with no creases. The smell of the fresh ink, old parchment, and the lakeside breeze infect the air with an aromatic smell. As I study, I hear the sound of footsteps making their way closer to me and stopping about a foot away. I look to see who my eyes will meet with.
“Rita,” Bellatrix states with a huff of warm air escaping her lips.
“Hi,” I respond with a smile due to my tranquil environment.
Bellatrix sits down next to me. The smell of her expensive perfume filters through the air, slowly making its way to my nose. It smells of daisies, amber, and a variation of citrus fruits. She sits closer than usual. I feel her breathing down my neck sending a shiver down my spine with each breath she takes.
“What are you doing?” She asks her espresso eyes, staring into my aquamarine ones.
“I'm studying for charms, but since you're here do you want to hear about the new story I'm writing?” Her heartbeat echoes through my ears and I notice her angelic fingers layered with silver rings caressing the long grass that surrounds the willow tree with leaves that are the hue of sunshine.
“I'll gladly listen,” She states and for the first time ever I think I can see a soft, yet faint smile appears upon her face.
I go into a trance. I feel the words slipping out of my mouth about the essay. I talk about how it revolves around why people shouldn't celebrate Halloween if they're religious. How people who are scared of the devil should fear the night of Halloween. How people should live in fear.
I then go off about the contrasting part and how we shouldn't live in fear. Fear is what makes us human, but we should not let it rule our lives. I notice at the mention of fearing ruling our lives she starts to get uptight and instead of softly touching the grass she begins to rip it out of the soft, moist soil.
“I have a problem with the story you wrote about Abel and Odette,” she grits her teeth as the sentence comes out of her lips covered with a thin layer of what I presume is cherry lip balm.
“Why did you not like it?” I feel my brows furrow.
“You can't just completely expose a relationship like that it could really hurt their reputation,” She states as one of her luscious curls falls out of one of the two tight braids, she put it into early this morning.
“Why do you care? it's not your relationship,” I feel my shoulders tense and a lump build up in my throat causing my voice to raise in pitch.
“Well, I know that, but they’re still humans and shouldn’t have their entire private relationship displayed to the entire school,” she says.
Each word felt like a slap to the face. How could somebody I care so much for treat my greatest creation as a piece of propaganda and rubbish. Especially since she knows deep down what I said in the article is true.
“Did something happen at the Gryffindor party that I was too blackout drunk to remember?” I inquire trying to change the subject to one of less tension.
I watch as Bellatrix lets out a fast and shallow breath. While she seemed like she was trying to stay calm, her narrowing brows, coiled body, and her perfectly straight spine seem to prove otherwise.
“No, why would you ask something as dumb as that?” She spits like a viper.
She has the words of a poet. Yet, she still finds a way to use the most bitter ones. Her bitter words bounce off of my sweet ones finding a way to counteract each sentence I form with my tongue. But you know what they always say.
Sweet neutralizes bitter.
“The girl who was kissing me in the broom closet said she saw what I did with Black, and I have no recollection of anything that happened that night besides you are pouring me a drink,” I state cautiously trying to avoid eye contact because that last thing I want to do right now is upset a motherfucking Black.
I notice the color fade from her face. She looks as pale as a ghost. Her body becomes tight and rigid from every muscle in her body locking up. It is more than obvious that Bellatrix Druella Black is hiding something big from me.
“Oh, it’s nothing not like a halfblood would care,” Her virulent words phase into my mind.
“Besides, how did you even learn about this willow tree? It's not like it’s a very common spot to sit at,” Her words are still pungent but at least some of the strain in her words have been taken off.
“I’m not sure,” I can feel my saliva thickening in the back of my throat, almost as if it is to protect me from the harsh words I fear are going to spill out.
“You can’t not be ‘quite sure’ you either know where you saw it or not,” Bellatrix states with a roll of her earthy and mysterious eyes.
“I said I don’t know!” I suddenly exclaim with some spit flying out of my mouth due to pure rage.
“I feel like I’ve been lied to this entire time! Everybody keeps saying things have happened and I can’t remember them actually happening! You’re saying I’d have to know where this tree is to go! Audrey said I did something with a Black! And I can’t remember anything that happened that night!” I feel the words rolling off my tongue like they do when I write my articles.
It’s no big surprise when I turn into an asshole. I have it in me, I just try to keep it away so as to not upset people. But Bellatrix fucking Black has a magical way of upsetting me to the point I want to gouge her eyes out with quills. She upsets me so much that I just want to kiss her. To run my fingers through her hair. To caress her body all over.
Whore.
“Bellatrix for some god forsaken reason I can’t get you out of my head. I don’t know why. I would like to know why. But at the end of the day all I know is that I want to slam you into a wall,” Slam her into the wall and snog her would probably also do the trick.
Bellatrix seems taken back at the confession. Her eyes widen as she looks at me with what seems to be a look of adoration. No, she can’t adore me, that's physically impossible for a Black to do. Especially towards a halfblood.
“You want to slam me into a wall?” A smile appears on her face, not a smirk but a real smile.
“I didn’t think you had it in you to be so crude,” She states her smile widening and her eyes now have a small twinkle in them that remind me of the shining stars.
No, not all of the stars. Just her star.
“But if you must know the truth,” She’s good at keeping a tranquil demeanor, but she’s terrible at hiding it in her eyes.
“At the Gryffindor party,” She hesitantly says, trying to hide the stutter that I quickly pick up on.
“I brought you under this tree-” she says, trying to remain as calm as before but clearly struggling to do so.
“And I kissed you,” She blurts out as if trying to get the information out as briskly as possible before she can change her mind on what to say.
I feel my jaw drop. No way the Bellatrix Black kissed me. A halfblood Ravenclaw. Under a willow tree. And I don’t even remember? But we kissed so does that really matter. I don’t think so. But also, yeah kind of.
“You of all people kissed me?” I try to make sense of the small piece of information that has a great impact on my life.
Not only do I not remember Bellatrix kissing me, I also don’t remember forgetting it. It’s almost like I was put under some sort of spell to make me forget but I have no clue what it could be.
“Yes, I kissed you. And then I wiped your memory so it wouldn’t ruin my reputation. Selfish I know, trust me,” she says as she fiddles with the silver, spider rings on her fingers and chips away at the maroon nail polish smoothly laid upon her long fingernails.
“How did you erase my memory?” I know it’s a stupid question, but I have to ask anyway.
“Merlin, did I erase it that much?” She asks rhetorically.
“I used the spell Obliviate, obviously,” She rolls her eyes dramatically as if continuing this conversation is an insult to her intelligence.
In the blink of an eye, Bellatrix moves closer and places a soft kiss upon my lips. Not too rough, not too flirty. Just a kiss. A kiss that mixes my red lipstick with her cherry lip balm. And man is the flavor better than I ever imagined.
“So, what do you say? A picnic right here this weekend and we’ll let people think that we are just friends?” She inquires with a smile as she licks her lips to taste mine.
“Uh- yeah, sure, that sounds amazing. Can’t wait!” I respond with awkward enthusiasm to help hide the rosy flush in my cheeks.
“Great,” Bellatrix begins backing away and I look at her until she is completely out of view.
####
Bellatrix’s Point of View:
As soon as I am out of Rita’s line of vision, I immediately sprint to my one and only destination. Wherever Dromeda is. I keep running despite my legs screaming at me to stop and lungs begging for air with each breath as I push myself even faster.
I pass the courtyard which barely contains any students due to it currently being dinner time. I keep going despite the odd looks I get awarded with from my flushed face and body panting for air. I make it down the main hallways and quickly speed down the steps towards the dungeons. I almost lose my balance and tumble, but I manage to grab ahold of the railing before it is too late.
I keep sprinting. Nothing is going to stop me right now and I’m going to find where Dromeda is no matter how hard that task may be. I finally reach the snake-braced door, and I use all the air in my body to conjugate the password.
“Hallucinate,” I state the breathily shriek.
I run throughout the common room. I knock some pillows over on the way, but it is worth the cause. Finally, I find her curled up near the fire, reading a book, and sipping a lukewarm cup of earl gray tea.
“Oh, dear, what happened?” Andromeda rushes towards and puts her hand on my forehead to check if I am running a fever.
“I need to tell you something important so I ran all the way here,” I continue trying to catch my breath and I can tell that Andromeda is awfully worried about my health currently.
“Anything Bella, you can tell me anything. I promise I will listen,” She tries to demonstrate breathing normally and she can tell my lungs are cramping up due to my lack of air.
“I kissed a girl, and not just any girl a halfblood girl,”
For the first time in a long time, I think I see a smile cross Dromeda’s face. She’s not upset at me even though she should be. It’s almost like she relates to me in a shape or form.
“Can I tell you a secret?” She asks.
“I kissed a muggleborn boy.”