Prefect rounds
Remus was seated in the library, his Transfiguration book open on his left side, his essay and messy notes sprawled out on the right. He had a quill between his teeth as he stared at the paper, lost in thought.
He still had a couple of hours before dinner, and after that, it was time for rounds with Lily; he hoped he could talk to her then, and ask how she and Marlene were doing, because he was pretty sure they’d gotten into a petty fight recently. It would also be a good time to ask her how things had been going with Snape, and if there were any news regarding Petunia-
“Quit fretting, Remus, you’re making me nervous,” Remus snapped his head up at the sound of Regulus Black’s voice, seated in front of him. His eyes were trained on the book in front of him, eyes sleepy but focused.
Everyone from Slytherin looked tired these days, probably because they were sleeping on sleeping bags since the professors were still trying to transfigure their beds back. So far, they didn’t seem to be making any progress, a fact Remus and his friends were extremely proud of.
“Sorry,” he said to the younger Black, focusing his attention back on his textbook again.
It was a new thing, him studying with Regulus. It had started since that one time, the day of the full moon, and after that, every time Remus went to the library, the younger Black would look for him, and set his books in front of him in silence. Sometimes he was with Evan and Barty, or just one of them. Today, though, he was alone.
They rarely talked, mostly just basking in each other’s company, Remus helping the other boy with his homework from time to time. It was an arrangement that worked for both of them, that they both liked and so they said nothing about it, simply continuing to do it. They studied together for around two hours, almost every day.
It gave Remus the perfect excuse to get out of his room, doing his best to keep himself out of Sirius’ way. It was something almost unconscious, the way he’d decided to spend as little time with Sirius as possible He was surprised by how easy it was to keep himself busy, between OWLs and patrolling; he had realized he always made space for Sirius in his schedule, and so taking him out of it was easier than expected. He just filled in the gaps with more studying, or spending quality time with Lily, maybe even more Marauders time. It was his way of putting some distance between them, of trying to get over Sirius silently.
If the raven-haired boy thought anything of it, he didn’t mention it to Remus. He seemed to be swallowed up by Quidditch practices, helping James choose the new team members, and also his relationship with Mary. Even if Sirius would never admit it, that’s what things between him and Mary had become; he was tired of hearing him deny it. Tired of the distant look in Sirius’ eyes whenever Mary was mentioned like he was picturing her in very vivid detail.
“Remus,” the boy in front of him said in warning, and Remus sighed. He opened his mouth to speak, but Regulus cut him off. “Don’t apologize again,” he said, a smile hidden in his voice.
A beat.
“Sorry,” Remus said anyway, because he knew he wasn’t the best company at the moment, but Regulus still put up with him, for some reason.
“Shut up,” Regulus said, but there was no bite in his tone. Remus looked up at him and realized grey eyes were already piercing his amber ones. He looked so much like Sirius that, for a moment, Remus had to focus to notice their differences. “Want to talk about it?”
“Fuck, no,” Remus said. They looked at each other and burst out laughing, doing their best to keep their voices down, even if the library was mostly deserted.
Madam Pince still shushed them, and they still gave her a sheepish smile before returning to their books, laughter in the back of their throats, avoiding looking at each other so they wouldn’t laugh again.
“The lack of sleep is making me delirious. I hate you all,” Regulus declared, once a few minutes had passed and the bout of laughter had died in their throats. Remus had finally started making progress in his homework again, but he dutifully put it down in order to look at Regulus, noting the deep bags under his eyes, and the slight tremble of his hand that betrayed an overuse of caffeine. “Couldn’t you spare my bed?”
“You know we couldn’t, too suspicious,” he said, a slight smirk in his voice the only betrayal of how proud he was of the prank. Of the fact, they had actually pulled it off and still remained anonymous as the masterminds behind it.
Regulus huffed but turned away, because he knew it was true. “Why a stag, though? I was curious.”
Remus took a second to realize what he meant, but when he did, he had to suppress a groan and an eye roll. He had seen James transfigure the bed into a painting, but he hadn’t bothered to check what the painting was. “Your bed was transfigured onto a deer painting?”
“Don’t play dumb. It was very clearly a stag; it had the horns and everything. I’ve been trying to figure it out, but couldn’t, so I give up. Just tell me.”
Remus sighed. “It was James who transfigured your bed, believe it or not, so I have no clue what he was thinking.”
Regulus cut him a sharp look but then nodded curtly when Remus said nothing else. They returned to their respective studies in silence, and Remus took only a moment to try and decipher what James could have possibly been thinking at the moment, before discarding the thought and focusing back on his essay. He was reading up on vanishing and half-vanishing spells, trying to tie them to some of their previous lessons, because McGonagall had said she wanted them to find the similarities with switching spells for Friday. So far, he hadn’t had much luck.
He wasn’t focused for long, though, because after a few more minutes he felt a chair scraping by his side, and he was taken out of his focus by a warm greeting beside him.
He wasn’t entirely surprised by James’ warm smile, looking at him for a second before zeroing down on Regulus, his gaze softening, smile even wider. “Hello there, boys,” he chirped happily, setting down his own books on the table, nudging Remus a bit as he did so, playfully.
“James,” was all Regulus said as a greeting, not bothering to look up from his work, still absorbed by it.
James did not seem deterred by his indifference at all. “How have you been, sunshine?” He asked, eyes still intent on Regulus, a sharp note of worry in his tone.
The younger boy finally looked up, and Remus was surprised to see how cold his eyes looked, blanched with fury, laced with the lack of sleep to create a truly chilling sight. “Well, I mean, I would be better if could fucking sleep.”
Now, finally, James seemed to fully take Regulus in, noticing his eye bags, and the tiredness in his frame. His shoulders hunched the smallest bit, for only a second, but finally, he smiled again at him, waggling his eyebrows. “You could take a nap in our room, you know. None of us would mind.”
Remus expected Regulus to huff, maybe roll his eyes, but instead, his expression softened, and he looked at James like he held the secrets of the universe. “I couldn’t possibly take up Sirius’ space,” he said, his voice soft now, and Remus had to look at both of them, taking turns, like he was watching a match between them.
“You could always use my bed, sunshine,” James answered, and he saw Regulus blush slightly at that, at the implication he knew James hadn’t meant to make, but had made anyways.
Merlin’s beard, where they both into each other? That was a development he hadn’t expected.
“I may take you up on that,” Regulus replied after a moment, and James beamed up at him, his smile taking up all of his face, so happy for such a simple fact it was almost hard to believe. Because it was James, though, he knew the reaction was genuine.
After that, they fell into comfortable silence again, James actually focusing on his studies, even if Remus felt him look up at Regulus every once in a while. They were both doing their transfiguration essays, and so James asked him questions every once in a while, with him doing his fair share of questions back at him, both of them shooting ideas at each other until they managed to form two coherent essays he was decently proud of.
If Regulus was bothered by their talking, he didn’t show it, still dutifully looking down at his notes, reading up something Remus was pretty sure was potions. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, biting the inside of his cheek the same way Sirius did when he was truly focused on something.
Time went by fast and, before he knew it, James was elbowing him about being hungry and going down for dinner. He looked up at the clock on the wall and realized it was dinner time, so he excused himself to Regulus, who only nodded distractedly at him, and followed James out of the library and down to the Great Hall.
He wanted to talk to James, then, figure out if this crush thing was something casual or more serious, if he was even aware that it was happening. However, he didn’t find the right words to do so.
Instead, it was James who broke the companionable silence they’d found themselves in. “You have rounds tonight, right sweetheart?” He asked, his strides matching Remus’ slightly limping pace.
“Yup, Lily and I are heading out after rounds,” he answered, watching James’ expression closely, noticing how he didn’t swoon at Lily’s mention, instead taking the information with a slight nod of the head.
“Good, that’s good,” he said, and Remus had the sense that he wanted to add something, so he patiently waited for James to figure out his words. He tended to hate silences, always wanting to fill them up, and it didn’t fail him this time either, because, after a few seconds, James added, “are you sure you’re okay for doing rounds today? You look tired.”
Remus then had to fight the anger that filled him from the inside out, burning his throat with cutting words and a snarl that tried to hide his shame at the fact that he even needed to ask, that a small part of him wanted to curl up in bed and never wake up because the pain was so much that he needed to hide from it somehow. Remus forced himself to breathe through his nose and tried to calm his frayed nerves. He didn’t want to snap at James.
So, he forced himself to compose a smile, even if it seemed fake. “Don’t worry too much about me, Prongs,” he said, still smiling, “I’m fine.”
James looked like he wanted to argue with him, but they were entering the Great Hall now, and he was quickly sidetracked by Sirius, who was making signals at them to come closer. They dutifully did, and James thankfully sat down beside Sirius, leaving him to squeeze between James and Marlene, who was quietly looking down at her plate, while Lily and Mary talked around her.
“Are you okay?” He nudged her a bit, and she looked up at him with her sharp eyes and a crooked smile. She nodded, but he wasn’t convinced.
He wanted to argue with her, but he was cut off by Sirius’ voice. “Moons, pay attention to me,” he said, and Remus leaned forward to look at Sirius without James’ interference, doing his best to give him a warm smile.
“I’m all ears,” he said, and Sirius blushed the smallest bit before he continued his story, which had to do with how he had avoided getting detention from Filch, without using the map or the cloak, that afternoon.
“… since Pete so gracefully took the map from us, again,” he said, making Peter wince but say nothing, “I had to place the dung bombs and be very careful, because if anyone saw me I’d be screwed.”
“Wait, you used another one of our shared dung bombs for this?” James said, very clearly sounding offended, launching both of them on a harmless spat that had them gesturing at each other with exaggerated vigor, something that would normally make Remus laugh, but that now only managed the smallest chuckle.
He continued eating and tried to do it fast, catching Marlene’s wrist as she got up from the table in silence and getting up with her. His plate was almost empty, but he noticed that hers was still filled halfway.
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk?” He asked her, looking intently down at her, and Marlene looked up at him with her big, brown eyes, frowning, a frown he knew she used when she wanted to avoid crying.
“Not here, okay? I’ll look for you after your rounds,” she told him, and he nodded, letting her go, watching as her rounded frame made its way out of the Great Hall with long strides.
Looked at the door a moment longer, noticing how a certain Slytherin girl turned back to give him a tense nod before going out, right behind Marlene.
He sat back down, sighing. “What was that about?” The question came from Peter, who was looking at him from across the table, a calculating look on his face.
“I’m not sure,” he answered, honestly. “She looked… frayed, I guess, and I wanted to check if she was okay.” Seemingly satisfied, Peter nodded, turning back to his dinner, but he noticed James’ stare on him as he filled his plate up again, going for seconds of the steak and fries, his stomach growling for dessert.
“Did she seem weird to you, too?” James asked, looking at Remus with a mixture of worry and curiosity, and Remus nodded again. “I thought I was imagining it, but I saw her go out of History of Magic today, and she looked like she’d seen a ghost.”
Remus nodded, lost in thought, remembering how he’d seen Lily with a matching expression of fury during that same lesson. On one hand, there was the fact that James hadn’t even noticed (a very interesting fact indeed; before, he always noticed every single mood shift in Lily), but then there was the fact that something had clearly seemed to happen between them.
“I’ll speak to her after rounds, don’t worry,” he promised James, who nodded gratefully at him.
Remus ate the rest of his dinner, and his dessert, in silence, pondering about what the two girls could be fighting about, before giving up and deciding to just talk about Lily about it.
He finished his plate at the same time as Lily finished hers, and so they stood up at the same time, and she took his arm as they went out of the Great Hall together.
“Aren’t you worried people might think we’re together?” He asked as they started walking decidedly towards the dungeons; they liked doing their rounds from the ground up, starting from the dungeons and working themselves all the way up to Gryffindor tower.
Lily laughed. “You are very gay, and I’m very much not interested, so let people talk if they want to,” she said and, well, she had a point, Remus had to admit. He’d never told her that he sometimes found women pretty the same way he did Sirius, but since those interests were much more fleeting, and none of them had caught his attention like the raven-haired boy had, he supposed there was no harm in her presuming him gay.
They walked a few more minutes in silence, as they made their way to the gate of the dungeons (actually having to break off a couple snogging on their way there, the worst kind of thing they had to do, in Remus’ opinion), and started making their way back up.
It was Lily, unsurprisingly, the one who broke the silence. “I had a fight with Marlene today,” she started, and Remus turned to look at her, noticing how she was staring straight ahead, her expression hardened. “It was bad.”
“I noticed your face during History of Magic,” he confessed and hooked his arm with hers. “Do you want to tell me about it?”
And so, Lily told him about it. About the way she’d been confused about James since the start of term, not knowing if she was actually in love with him or not, a fact so heart-wrenching, if only for the fact that Remus saw him fall for someone else more and more with each passing day. How she’d told Marlene about it, and she’d given some advice and left it at that. How she’d assumed nothing at the time, but how the blonde girl had soon started acting touchier with James, in a way she never used to be, and whenever she confronted her about it, Marlene deflected the question with a knowing smile and a glint in her eye.
She told him that things had escalated earlier today, when Marlene had been passing notes with James that she refused to share with her, and how Lily had exploded at that, involving Mary, who had told Marlene in a very mean tone to “mind her fucking business and stay away from other people’s men,” verbatim, and how they hadn’t spoken since.
Remus listened to the whole story in silence, trying to not react to any of the information given by Lily, while also trying to find a way to mediate things between the two girls without cluing Lily in on what he knew.
“I can see how that’s a bad fight, Lils,” he started. They were reaming the second floor now, Lily’s explanation having extended to most of the dungeons and the first floor. “But, and I’m saying this as the devil’s advocate, what if Marlene has no ill will?”
“I don’t see how that could be possible, Rem,” she said, bluntly, her face still red from the rant she’d gone on. “I mean, I was pretty clear with her, and the way she’s been acting lately… I feel like she doesn’t even tell me things anymore.”
“I think you should try talking things out with her,” he started, and put the arm he didn’t have linked with Lily’s up in surrender when she shot him a look that clearly tried to kill him. “I mean it, you may be surprised by her view of things.”
Lily was silent for a moment. “Did she come to you about this?”
“Not… this, exactly,” Remus said, wincing a little, treading his next words carefully, “but we have discussed stuff that really puts things in another perspective.”
Lily fell silent at that, seeming to consider it, and they continued walking along the corridors, urging the students who were still around to head to bed. Curfew was now looming close, since they were nearing the flight of stairs that would take them to the astrology tower, something Remus was dreading, if only for the number of stairs and how stiff his hip had felt during the day.
There was also the fact that he wasn’t feeling up to finding students snogging each other, being lovey-dovey and all, when his love life felt so miserable and inexistent that he almost wanted to cry.
Lily must’ve seen the face he made, or discerned something in his gait, because as they neared the bottom of the stairs, she looked at him and bit her lip. “I’ll go up alone,” she said, and Remus opened his mouth to protest, because he didn’t want to be treated as an invalid, not by her, “and do not think it’s not for selfish reasons. I have your arse stuck to mine for at least another half hour, and I really need to think about this Marlene situation.”
Remus wanted to argue with that, but he knew Lily was only half-lying on his behalf, so he finally relented and sat on the first stair, craning his neck to watch Lily disappear up the stairs, then turning back to look at his hands instead.
He felt the scar on his neck (pretty much all healed now, or so Pomfrey had said when he’d asked), toyed with his hands, thought about schoolwork, even gave in and started thinking bout Sirius, his featured, the way his eyes seemed almost blue whenever he was in the sun in just the right position. He thought about Sirius’ smile, his hands, his hugs, and how much he wanted one now; thought about him with Mary, and how much he didn’t love him like that, let the hope rising within him wither and die in the expanse of a few minutes.
When it had been at least ten, and Lily still hadn’t gone down, Remus started to worry and wonder if he should make the trip up. After it had been fifteen, he decided enough was enough, and made an effort to stand up, turning to go up the stairs and see what problem had Lily found herself in.
He only went up a few stairs, twenty, at most, when he found none other than Dorcas Meadowes coming down the stairs, her braids neatly placed atop her head, which was held high.
“Oh, hey, Dorcas,” Remus said, startled by her presence in the dark staircase, taking a moment to process what it meant. “Wait…”
Dorcas laughed. “Lily told me to come down for you, finish rounds together,” she said, and so he turned around and they resumed going down the stairs in silence.
The silence stopped with the stairs, though. “You were up there with Marlene, I presume?” he asked, hands in his pockets, not entirely sure of what to do with them now that he didn’t have his arm linked with Lily’s. Dorcas nodded. “Are they talking things out?” Dorcas nodded again. “Good,” he said, and Dorcas shot him a sheepish smile.
“I wanted to apologize for my… rudeness, on the day of the party. If it counts for something, I was absolutely terrified,” she said, a little rushed, her voice clear, every word pronounced with care.
“Of course it counts, and don’t worry about it,” he said, turning for a second to smile at her, watching her eyes assess his figure with a calculating look he had forced himself to grow used to.
If she wanted to ask about her scars, she didn’t show it; instead, she said, “you’re friends with Regulus, aren’t you?”
And Remus nodded, a fond smile on his lips. “Yeah, I’d like to think so,” and Dorcas nodded thoughtfully at that.
“He doesn’t have many of us,” she said, “so you better not fuck it up.”
This made Remus laugh, and he saw from the corner of his eyes that Dorcas was smiling at him.
They finished the rest of their rounds in silence, and she declined his offer to escort her back to the dungeons. “I can take care of myself,” she told him, eyes so dark they almost seemed black, the smile on her lips promising trouble.
“Okay,” he said, and before she turned and left, he added, “don’t you dare fuck up either, Meadowes. Not with Regulus nor with Marlene.”
She turned back to him, and her smile widened. “Don’t worry, I wasn’t planning to,” she said, and left.
As Remus entered the common room, he came to the conclusion that he would never, ever, understand women.
He sat on one of the sofas, relieved to see the common room was almost deserted, and turned himself towards the entrance, wanting to see Lily’s expression when she came in.
When she did, a few minutes later, with Marlene right beside her, his waiting paid off: she was smiling, talking to Marlene, but the second she saw Remus her expression crumpled and she howled with laughter, running toward the sofa and throwing herself at it, landing right beside Remus.
“Oh, Merlin’s beard,” she wheezed, as he saw Marlene shoot him a warm smile as she went up to her dorm. “You were absolutely fucking right.”
And so, right there on the sofa, they laughed and laughed.