The Black Jackpot

James was smiling at everyone, so happy to see people had come to their party. Abba was playing in the background, and he briefly wondered who had messed up their perfect lining of albums. But he also secretly loved Abba, so he couldn’t really be mad at whoever had put it.

It had to be a girl, since all of them had gotten up the moment Mamma Mia had started blasting, and they were still jumping and singing along to Hey, Hey, Helen. It didn’t take him long to notice Lily among them, spinning around with Mary in tow, both of them laughing maniacally. He watched them with a fond smile on his face.

He felt a presence sit beside him and turned for a second, smiling at Sirius. “Hey, boo,” he said, turning back to look at the girls. “Our girls are so pretty, aren’t they?”

“Hate to break it to you Prongsie, but you have no girl,” Sirius said, and when he turned to look at him, offended, he just barked a laugh. “Oh, come on, don’t look so gloomy about it. I’m sure you’ll get someone eventually.”

It stung his pride a little how Sirius didn’t even think he could pull Lily off, by the way he was saying someone instead of her name. However, he wasn’t about to admit that, instead putting on his brightest smile and opening his arms. “I know I can pull off someone, boo. I’m just waiting for the one, you know?”

Yes, James had kissed other girls before, and he probably would again if the opportunity arose, but he’d never gone all the way with anyone. Call him old-fashioned, or a hopeless romantic, but he was saving himself for Lily.

It was a little sad, really, the things he’d do for her that she didn’t even seem to care about. He'd learned long ago to not expect anything from her, a hard-earned lesson, but it still priced when he did stuff because of her, and she didn't even notice.

Before Sirius could answer, he heard someone clear their throat from behind him. “Can we talk?” Came a small voice, almost unheard in all the noise from the party. A voice James knew but couldn’t quite place. Sirius seemed to know it well, however, because all the color drained from his face and his body tensed in a second.

It reminded him a little too much about the state he’d gotten to his house that night during the summer, when he’d been so bruised and broken James didn’t even know if he could be pulled back together.

He turned around and looked at none other than Regulus Black, his pretty face neutral, his eyes darting from James to Sirius, his hands grasping at the top of the cushions so hard his knuckles were white.

James thought about kicking him out, just on the principle of having seen the way Sirius reacted to his voice, but the answer that came from Sirius’ lips was much more different. “Reggie”, he exhaled, his eyes going soft, now looking at him too. “What in Godric’s name are you doing here? How did you even get in?”

“That is not relevant,” he said, ever mysterious, and gave an almost imperceptible nod of the head towards the stairs. He wanted privacy for their conversation.

James didn’t know why but, looking at Regulus, he decided he didn’t want to leave the two of them alone. Without taking his eyes off Regulus’, who was only focused on Sirius now, he searched Sirius’ hand with his. He wasn’t the least bit surprised when Sirius squeezed it like his life depended on it, the only tell about how he was truly feeling at the moment. His face was blank.

“Sure, Reggie, we can go to my room,” Sirius said, always so easy when it came to his little brother, but James wasn’t having it. He’d held Sirius one too many nights while he cried this summer for him to be able to forgive and forget so easily. He knew, technically, it was all Walburga’s doing, but he couldn’t help but resent Regulus for not doing anything to stop her.

“However, I’m staying, sunshine,” he said, his voice steadier than he thought it would be, and Sirius turned to look at him, alarmed.

“Absolutely not” came Regulus’ reply, fast and snarling, but James wouldn’t let up. Not about this.

“I am not letting my best friend alone with one of you-”

“Woah there, Prongs, don’t be so hard on him” Sirius’ voice startled him, and he turned to look at him. His grey eyes, despite the way his hand was clamped in James’, were determined.

James had decided a long time ago, seeing the way Sirius spoke and interacted with Regulus, that he did not understand siblings. It was a mysterious bond to him; the way Sirius could speak and seem all bitter about Regulus at one moment but melt at the sight of him the next. James had had to listen to him complain most of the summer about how Regulus was shaping up to be exactly like their mother, cold and calculating, only to wake up screaming from nightmares in which he couldn’t save Regulus from that house. Yes, he considered Sirius as close as a brother, but all he felt toward him was love, he didn’t think he’d ever truly fought with him, not seriously (pun not intended, thank you very much). He also hoped he never would.

James sighed. “Fine,” he relented but stood up anyway. “I’ll stay right outside the door.”

Regulus opened his mouth, seemingly to argue, but one look from Sirius seemed to dissuade him. Good, James thought, because there was no way he’d let Sirius face this entirely on his own.

They walked in a tense silence between them, up the stairs until the door to their room came into view. Only then did he let go of Sirius’ hand to sit outside of the door, while the two brothers stepped in and closed it shut behind them. He tried to listen in, but they were talking in such hushed voices that the music from below hid everything they were saying.

At least, for the first few minutes. “You think I wanted this, Reggie?” came Sirius’ agitated voice from inside, which perked James up from where he’d been daydreaming.

“Well, you didn’t seem too keen to fucking stop it, did you?” came Regulus’ reply, his voice charged with so much emotion. James thought he’d never heard it sound like that before, not his voice or any other. It sounded broken, but in a jagged way, like he knew he was bruised and wanted to bruise everyone in turn.

“What more could I have done? Go on, tell me. She would’ve killed me, Reggie, and you know that,” James’ spine tingled at that, but he knew Sirius was telling the truth. A few more days in that house, and he would’ve died from exhaustion, blood loss, or both. It was what the healer who came to their house after he’d turned up had said, as he continued patching Sirius up like it was nothing.

That was the first and only time James had wanted to kill someone.

“You could’ve just agreed with her” Regulus’ voice was angrier now, and he heard the laugh tumble out of Sirius’ lips almost again his will.

“You know I couldn’t do that, not after what she said about…” Sirius’ voice cut off before he finished the sentence, but Regulus seemed to know what he meant because he didn’t answer.

The hushed voices returned after that, seemingly calmer after the outburst, and James remained where he was, trying to determine what was going on.

A few minutes later the door opened, and both brothers appeared, not looking at each other.

Sirius was the one who came out first, not looking at James before going downstairs. James heard him shout something that had everyone else cheering and knew he wouldn’t get anything out of him. He would deal with whatever they’d said in his own way, avoiding it for as long as he could before having an outburst about it to someone. Probably James.

So, he turned to look at Regulus instead. “Are you okay, sunshine?” he asked, which in retrospect seemed like a very stupid question, but he told himself he was drunk and had the right to ask some stupid questions from time to time.

Regulus didn’t look at him, back tense.

“I told you to not call me that,” he said, and James marveled at his posh accent, still intact where he and Sirius had spent years deconstructing theirs until they sounded more mundane. Regulus had clearly honed his, and he realized with a bit of surprise that he liked it. He never did on his voice, but on Regulus, it sounded good. Like it was meant to be.

“And I said if we spoke again, you’d have to get used to it.” Despite himself, he smiled, and he couldn’t understand why, but he wanted to continue talking to Regulus. To throw down the walls he’d built so carefully. Even if James couldn’t look past them, he wasn’t blind; he did see the walls.

“I never agreed to such nonsense,” he said, and James came close to put a hand on his shoulder lightly, a teasing touch that was meant to turn Regulus around to look at him.

The second his hand touched Regulus, though, the other boy moved too fast for James to follow. In a matter of seconds, he’d moved out of his reach and taken out his wand from somewhere, sticking it in James’ neck, just enough for the tip to poke him with force, and backing him against a wall.

“Woah, Reg, I’m sorry,” he said, raising his hands, noticing the way Regulus’ face was scrunched up and his eyes, although trained on him, seemed distant.

It took him a few moments to move but, when he did, Regulus put down his wand and passed a hand through his hair, messing his short curls. James had never seen him do that. His expression remained neutral, but his body language betrayed his anxiety.

“That was… a little excessive,” he said, not looking at James. “I apologize.”

“It’s alright, sunshine, don’t worry about it,” James said, but he didn’t feel fine.

A few minutes ago, he was thinking about resenting Regulus, but all it took was one interaction to see he was just as scarred as Sirius, only in a different way. He couldn’t blame him, then, not really, and his overwhelming sense of wanting to protect him took over. He wanted to check Regulus over for wounds, hold him, and reassure him that it would all be fine, but now he knew that wouldn’t go over well.

He was probably tired of feeling broken. He’d seen the feeling in Sirius too many times to not recognize it. Because of that, he did nothing of those things, instead sitting down on the stairs and patting the space beside him, an open invitation.

Regulus arched his eyebrow and looked at him. “I mean, Reg, it’s just an invitation if you want to talk, about… anything.”

James was suddenly nervous that Regulus might reject him, though he wasn’t exactly sure where the feeling came from. Was it because he worried about him since Sirius cared for him? Yeah, it was probably that.

Sighing, Regulus sat down beside him. James’ smile was immediate. “Merlin, you’re such an idiot,” Regulus said, hugging his knees to his chest and looking at James from between his lashes.

His lashes were so long, James noticed, framing his eyes in a way that seemed almost criminal to him. Instead of commenting on it, he cleared his throat. “Well, I know I am, but you’re still here sunshine, so I think that says more about you than me.”

Regulus let out a startled laugh, and James looked at him in surprise. It was the first time he’d heard the other boy laugh in something that wasn’t disbelief or mockery, and the sound was music to his ears. It was a sweet laugh.

“Touché, Potter,” Regulus said, still looking at him, and James gave him a sheepish smile.

“So, you want to talk about anything?” James pressed, when a few minutes had passed and Regulus had stopped looking at him, still hugging his knees, not moving from where he’d sat a few centimeters from him.

“I wouldn’t know what to talk to you about, Potter. Thought you’d start the conversation, since you’re so keen on talking to me” Regulus’ voice held no venom, but it still hit James square in the chest.

No Walburga, then. He could understand a hidden meaning when he saw it. “Have you guys started practice for your match against Hufflepuff?” he asked instead. Slytherin and Hufflepuff were the first match of the season, a month from now, and two weeks after that it was Gryffindor against Ravenclaw.

It was something that came easily to James, Quidditch. He loved talking about it but refrained from it most of the time because he knew it bored Remus out of his mind.

Regulus looked at him, skeptical. “You think I’m giving you our strategies, Potter? We’re going for the cup this year.” There was a smile hidden in that answer, James knew it, so he grinned at Regulus and batted his eyelashes in a fake attempt at flirting.

“Oh, come on, sunshine, don’t you want to hand me your strategies over? I know you love me,” he said, hand in his chest, and he got the pleasure to see Regulus’ cheeks blush just the smallest bit. It was adorable, there was simply no other word for it.

“Shut it, Potter,” Regulus said, but James wasn’t relenting. He looked at Regulus, still batting his eyes, doing what he hoped was a seducing smile and leaning towards him.

“Oh, but you’d be my hero, Reg, if you just gave me the strategy, I’m sure we could figure something out-”

“James Potter! Come down here before Remus and Lily take over!” Sirius’ voice rang loud and clear from downstairs, startling James from what he’d been doing and making him scooch back like a reflex. Regulus’ face, where it had started relaxing, became stone again, his expression indecipherable.

“Well, go on then. Your best friend needs you.” Regulus’ voice couldn’t hold back the scorn that haunted it. James looked at him, surprised, because he had never thought too much about how Sirius needed him and not Regulus, but it made sense that he was jealous when James was there and Regulus could not.

He gave Regulus an easy smile. “I’m sorry, sunshine, your dear brother needs me,” he said, but couldn’t resist leaning in until his face was close to Regulus’. From up close, he could see the difference between his and Sirius’ eyes, how Regulus’ had less specks of blue where his older brother’s were littered with the color. “But worry not, for I will return, and you will give me those Quidditch strategies.”

The corner of Regulus’ mouth twitched, only a little. “Bye, James,” he said, his voice soft, and James smiled.

Finally, something other than Potter, he thought, giving Regulus a small wave and going down the stairs to look for Sirius. He resisted the urge to look back at the younger boy, instead focusing on not dying on the stairs. He was drunker than he originally thought, his steps crisscrossing, making him go down slowly, muttering to himself about killer stairs.

Once he was all the way down, he gave an amused smile at what he saw. Many of the people had left, while the music continued blasting. In the middle of the room, Lily and Remus were facing Mary and Sirius; while the first pair looked ready to murder someone, the other two were laughing heartily, ignoring the other two’s discomfort.

“What did these two do, pumpkin?” he asked Remus, as he put an arm around him and threw Lily a smile she didn’t reciprocate. He tried to not let it sting and found it was a little easier than usual. At least her anger wasn’t directed at him this time.

Remus huffed, throwing daggers with his eyes, in Sirius’ direction. The other boy barely seemed to notice. “Well Prongs, you see, Sirius here thought it would be hilarious to try and use a Sticking Charm on me and Lily, so now we’re stuck like this-” he propped his hand up, and James saw it was stuck to Lily’s, who had to get on her tiptoes so her hand could go as high as Remus put it, “-and he won’t dissolve the fucking incantation.”

James didn’t think he’d ever seen Remus get so angry over something so small before, and it did scare him a bit, but Sirius was still oblivious to the extent of his wrath and kept on laughing, putting a hand on Mary’s shoulder for support. “Oh, Moony, come on, you have to admit it’s a little funny, don’t you think? Imagine you and Lily stuck to one another like that for a while, it’s actually a good way to bond-”

“Sirius, boo, please undo the charm,” James interrupted him, sensing both Remus’ and Lily’s distress. He wasn’t sure why it was such a big deal for them, but he also knew Sirius was deflecting his hurt, so he’d be kind about it to both parties. The best thing would be to undo the charm, let them all cool down for the night, and help them solve whatever it was in the morning. Or afternoon, if their hangover came out to be as bad as James was starting to think it would be. The bottles of Fire Whiskey had done their job extremely well.

“But Prongsie…”

“No, Sirius, I mean it, ok?” Sirius pouted at him, but James only shot him an apologetic smile and then a glare that seemed to imply that he better do it quickly. Sighing, Sirius took out his wand from his bun, letting his hair fall free, and then doing a small flick with his wrist.

Remus carefully removed his hand from Lily’s. “Thank you, Prongs,” he said, his voice clearly forced, but before he could ask what that had all been about, Remus bolted towards the stairs. He did so as Regulus was coming down, James noticed, but he didn’t seem surprised to see him there, simply brushing past the younger boy and going up the stairs two at a time.

He wanted to say something, anything, to Regulus, but he went out of the Common Room before he had the chance, spine straight, eyes staring ahead, ignoring the people still dancing around and the few others that had gathered around James and his friends.

He sighed and turned to Lily. “Are you okay, darling?” he asked, genuine concern dripping from his voice, and he resisted the urge to take Lily’s hand in his own. He knew she hated it when he did that. Hated his physical touch, specifically.

“Yeah, James, don’t sweat it. Just… try to control Sirius, will you?” she said, a frail smile on her lips, and then she brushed past him and went up to her dorm.

James turned to Mary and Sirius, who were still laughing and sharing fond looks and did his best to calm the anger that had started seeping into his chest. “Was it really necessary to make them uncomfortable, Pads?” he asked, proud that he managed to keep his voice level.

Unlike Remus and Sirius, James sucked at keeping his feelings to himself, but he needed to try this time, if only for the sake of keeping the peace between his friends. So, he managed to keep the venom from his voice, not alerting Sirius to his anger.

“I just saw them, sitting on the sofa all close together, and I thought it would be good to stick them to one another,” Sirius said and then shrugged, but the smile on his lips didn’t reach his eyes, and his mannerisms were too exaggerated.

James knew that look. It was the one that said he’d acted out because he didn’t know how to deal with his own stuff, or with whatever it was he’d seen them doing. He knew Sirius wouldn’t be above doing something to make others uncomfortable just because he was, but he felt he’d crossed a line with Remus this time. He’d genuinely looked so angry it was concerning; such a display of emotion wasn’t common for him.

James sighed and took to the record player, putting the needle up so Abba stopped playing. The few people who remained scattered around the room turned to look at him. “Party’s over, go back to your rooms,” he said, shrugging a little, as some people made discontented noises and others simply glared at him before leaving. No one questioned him, though, because it was late enough.

Ignoring them, he turned to look at Sirius. “Come on, mate, let’s go to our room,” he said, taking his arm and tugging him from where he was stuck to Mary’s side.

Sirius ignored him, turning to look at Mary and shaking James’ grip from him. “Mary, what do you say we go somewhere? I don’t want our night to be over yet.”

James wasn’t sure if it was the look he gave her or if she was already tired, but Mary shook her head and gave his arm a squeeze. “It’s ok, Sirius, I’m dead. Go with James.”

Sirius pouted at her, but she ignored it, giving him a peck on the lips and patting his back before she left. Reluctantly, Sirius turned to James. “Well, is that what you wanted?” He asked, his voice tense.

“Boo,” James sighed, running his eyes to scan Sirius’ face, noticing the strain there. It had been a common theme that summer, Sirius having tantrums that manifested by him lashing out. Effie and Monty had been understanding where James hadn’t been, not in the beginning, and had shown James how to deal with them. How to coax Sirius out of the hole he dug for his emotions, how to help him feel them instead of bottling them up and hiding behind a wall of pranks and charisma.

He did so now, grabbing Sirius by the shoulders and squeezing hard. He’d learned that helped in grounding him, taking him out of his head and back to the present. “Want to talk about it?” He asked, expecting the answer to be no. It usually was, but it helped Sirius to know he was there.

This time, though, the question brought tears to Sirius’ eyes, and he broke down crying before James could stop him. Well, that was a new one. Unsure of what to do, he hugged him and put his head against his chest, hiding him there, letting him break down in the middle of the empty room. His hand made its way to Sirius' back, tracing comforting circles there.

Sirius passed his hands around James’ back and returned the hug fiercely. “I need to get him out, James,” he said, his voice hitching, entwined with sobs that tugged at James’ heart. “He cannot stay in that fucking house.” James nodded at that, pensive, and let Sirius cry it out without bothering him for more details.

However, at that moment, James decided it: he was helping Sirius get Regulus out of Grimmauld Place.