Transfiguration
As expected, the next morning had been properly awkward.
From the moment Remus woke up, he had avoided Sirius.
When he reached for his toothbrush while Sirius was using the sink, he ignored his presence as best as he could, which had been hard, considering the awkward position he had to do with his arm to attain it.
Breakfast was pretty much the same.
Remus sat between Lily and Marlene with Mary on Marlene’s other side, while the marauders were across from them.
He was glad he had them, he didn’t think he could bear sitting beside Sirius so soon after their clash.
Marlene and James did most of the talking, taking on the job of keeping the conversation flowing, with Lily perking up a few times with a remark of her own.
Each time she spoke, James right about beamed at her. It was getting exhausting how oblivious Lily was towards the boy’s feelings.
Their relationship really was strange.
At the beginning of their first year, Lily couldn’t stand James. Or, for specifics, any of them.
James, of course, has always been hopelessly whipped for her.
Her disdain was until she and Remus began getting along, and with him came his three bestest friends; a package deal.
Over time, she warmed up to them all, and now she and James were finally friends.
And seemingly stuck in that state.
Remus didn’t know if he should just shake Lily and tell her about all of James silly rants about her; about how he carved both of their initials into the wood of his bed just above his head so he could fall asleep to her name (it was from first year, and his writing had been wonky,) and how he keeps talking on and on about the green of her irises.
It was absurd.
Remus still avoided Sirius. he avoided glancing directly at him, and tried extremely hard not to laugh at one particular funny joke he’d said.
He didn't know how Sirius felt about this. The boy had been grumpy since waking up, and it was really hard to tell if it was because James forced him up extra early for quidditch practice or because of the previous evening.
Remus didn’t feel like having a conversation with Sirius. It would be emotionally heavy on him, he knew as much.
Even if he and the marauders already had spoken yesterday, he knew it’d be different one on one with Sirius.
His and Sirius’ relationship had always been complicated. Too complicated for their own good.
They were like a storm; at the beginning, the sky’s calm, but the clouds slowly gather and darken with each conflict. It goes on until it all becomes too much, and eventually rain.
The thing is, whenever it does rain, it seems that none of them has an umbrella.
It is an unexpected moment and carries on until they talk properly; but with them you never know.
Perhaps they’ll talk tomorrow. Or never.
Sirius was stubborn and too proud for his own good. Remus was an avid avoider of each thing in his life that made him feel out of control.
Except his lycanthropy. That much isn’t really avoidable.
He bit into his toast bitterly. Why was being Sirius’ friend so draining? Friendships aren't supposed to be this way.
Peter and Sirius had an easy friendship.
Remus and James are able to have fun together and get over spats quickly enough.
James and Sirius, more than friends but siblings, too don't bicker a lot.
So why was it when it was related to Remus and Sirius things got complicated?
They all got along with each other just fine– that's why they were called the marauders and made a huge map together!
The exact reason they became animagus! Their friendship was the bestest— they did pranks together and had so much fun.
But when it's just Remus and sirius? It was frustrating and wonderful at the same time.
Remus despised it all, but most of all, he despised Sirius for confusing him.
Remus desperately tried to gain control over each thing in his life, but Sirius remained uncharted territory.
He made Remus feel vulnerable. Remus hated it.
He never felt this way about anyone before. Nobody’s ever angered him the way Sirius managed to.
Perhaps a secret talent for infuriating people, or an odd opening he has in Remus’ heart.
Remus contemplated whether this was in fact, normal, or if he was crazy to feel so strongly towards a friend, before he brushed it off.
Go figure. Everything involving Sirius became too difficult too fast.
“It bloody bitme! It bitme!” Benjy Fenwick yelped, helplessly staring down at his finger.
Mary sighed exasperatedly as Benjy ditched the attacker that was perched up on his desk, practically running over to her and Remus.
He helplessly approached them before shoving his finger into Mary’s face. “Could it give me rabies?!” He shrieked, and Mary playfully rolled her eyes at the boy.
“Maybe it was a bad idea to let you try and transfigure stuff on your own. McGonagall should have you paired up every lesson.” She left his question unanswered as she took hold of his wrist and examined his ‘hurt’ finger.
Remus glanced over at Benjy's finger, and had to stifle a laugh. The bite mark was barely a scratch, just a few droplets of blood beading at the surface.
He looked over to the offending force perched on top of Benjy’s desk, and frowned in confusion. “What’s that?” He asked as he stared conflictingly at the thing.
Their task was to transfigure a button to an owl, but Benjy evidently had a hard time with that.
His effort to transfigure the thing didn’t quite succeed. Sure, it had the shape of an owl, but with rat like ears, a fish’s tail sprouting tiny legs, and butterfly wings, it looked like Benjy had been an experimenting ministry worker on drugs rather than a student in class.
The creature sat on the desk with an expression that resembled a glare, shooting daggers at its creator.
“You think I know? Get rid of that shit! It bit me!” He continued bellowing, and Mary scoffed as she released her hold on his wrist, just to give it a gentle slap.
“You drama queen, your finger’s fine. Only a bit of blood.” She said, chuckling at his nonsense.
James, who had been seated just a desk before them, turned around with a smirk.
“What did Fenwick do now?” He questioned, his voice laced with mock curiosity as he glanced at them.
“My finger! That evil, evil thing attacked me! Hate crime!” The ravenclaw explained, pointing his good finger towards his poor attempt at an owl.
“What the fuck is that?” James asked, barking out a laugh.
Lily, seemingly hearing this, walked over from her own desk, which in fact, had an owl calmly sitting on it, beside a struggling Marlene.
“Hey, don’t laugh at h—“ her words died in her mouth as she noticed what sat up on Benjy’s table.
“Dear Merlin—“ She stared, eyes widened.
Sirius, who was apparently gracious enough to look too, turned around from his seat beside James and raised one perfect eyebrow at Benjy’s way. He didn’t spare Remus a glance.
“That? An owl?” He grinned.
He had a nice smile, Remus realised.
What?
“Did you even listen to Minnie’s instructions?” Sirius asked Benjy, who just shrugged and cackled. “Fuck you, Black. If you’re oh-so-good, let us see yours?” He inquired, his voice carrying a teasing tone.
“Oh, well of course. Can’t deny the request of lesser.” He stood up from his seat and moved aside, revealing a snowy white feathered Owl propped up proudly on his desk.
Remus had to resist rolling his eyes. Trust Sirius to be all extra.
“Oh my goodness! Sirius, you did so good!” A shriek was heard, and a moment later a ravenclaw Remus didn’t recognise practically ran up to Sirius and began smothering him with compliments.
Mary tittered into the back of her hand as she watched the interaction, while Lily peered at James when she knew he wasn’t noticing.
Benjy only sighed as he stared at Sirius’ owl, before McGonagall's strict voice was heard.
“Who did this?” She questioned as she stood beside Benjy’s desk, surveying the creature that was settled on it.
Benjy flushed an embarrassed red before he hurried off to explain to their professor.
Mary signed. “Ah, youthful events. I’m getting nostalgic.”
“What? But it happened just now?” Lily propped up a hand on her waist as she assessed.
“Don’t ruin the moment!” Mary protested.
“What—“ Lily began speaking, but just then Marlene walked over. “I am so done! Fuck that button!” She exclaimed.
“Oh, no, what’s wrong?” Mary asked soothingly.
James turned around once again, “Yes, Marls, what’s wrong?”
“It grew wings and flew away!” She said and shook her head disapprovingly.
“Trandfiguration’s everyone’s biggest struggle, I swear,” Mary said. “Well, except for Sirius.”
“On that note.” Remus frowned. “Where the fuck is Peter? Hasn’t he been sitting beside Fenwick?”
They all quickly began looking around, because really— even when looking over to Benjy’s creation he had been missing from his seat.
After a moment of searching, Remus burst out laughing. Peter had his button grow massive legs and wings, and it was chasing him around the classroom.
“Oh, sweet Merlin,” Marlene’s eyes widened and she rushed over to help her childhood friend.
After seeing Benjy and Peter’s poor attempts, maybe it was good he had been too distracted to try and produce an Owl.
For the first class of the term, it was going well enough.
Remus and Lily were walking through the long hallways, in search of their Ancient Runes classroom.
They had a break of fifteen minutes in between each lesson, and they both knew well enough that it was just the right amount of time to navigate through Hogwarts’ confusing hallways.
There was always a changing stair or vanishing door, so it was hard to tell at times where each place was, but he mostly had it all figured out.
Remus knew he could use the marauders map and easily locate the classroom, but it being the first day after being away for so long made him miss the place dearly.
Spending it navigating with a map didn’t seem quite right.
“So, Lils, how’s summer been treating you?” Remus asked.
Ever since being back, their only one on one was about Remus’ new scars— he had completely forgotten to ask Lily about her own time away— and for that matter, the marauders— about how they were doing.
He felt bad about it. How could he be so selfish and fixated on what’s been going on for him?
He really should’ve asked them what they had on.
Remus truly was a bad friend.
Lily warmly smiled at him, exposing two neat rows of teeth, before she began speaking.
“Eventful,” she said with a heavy sigh. “I was yet to tell my parents about how me and Severus had.. fallen out,” her voice carried a mournful tone. “They have been asking about him for the first few weeks of summer, you see. Had to explain to them about his lot at school and why we aren’t friends anymore.”
“Oh, Lily..” Remus wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
Was he trying to redeem himself from being such a horrible friend? Was he even being nice to comfort Lily, or to feel better about himself?
Who was Remus, anyway? An imposter pretending to be someone he wasn’t?
Remus surely is a nice guy. Or so he assumed. He’s been told.
Is he just a nice guy?
What he said to Sirius wasn’t really nice.
Remus hoped he was nice. It was hard to tell.
“It’s fine. I just had to go down the rabbit hole of pure-blood racism and it really sucked.” Her hands were trembling and she shoved them in her robe’s pockets.
“How’d that go?” Remus kept a soothing hand on her shoulder, making sure to rub it gently to remind her that he’s there and that she has someone to lean on.
“Dad didn’t understand much of it, Mum was incredulous, and Petunia.. Merlin, she was the worst. She made sure to let me know how horrible the wizarding world is. Made me feel all bad for even going to Hogwarts and daring to learn magic.”
Remus pressed her closer to his side. He didn't know what to say to make her feel better.
“Anyway, other than that everything was well. I met up with Mary and Marls a couple of times and had time to catch up on non-school related books.”
“Oh, sounds fun. Want to tell me about what you’ve been reading?”
At that, her eyes lit up and a tiny smile could be seen overtaking her saddened features. “Oh, absolutely.”
It’s safe to say they’ve been talking the whole way to class.