Chapter 6
Evenings in Italy are warmer than James had expected. The air is heavy with the scent of flowers and freshly cut grass, and the gentle murmur of the fountain in the background is almost soothing. Almost, because his thoughts are still too scattered to feel at peace. He takes off his jacket and drapes it over the back of a chair, feeling the fabric of his shirt clinging to his skin. He’s not sure what’s more exhausting: the heat or the uncertainty lingering between him and Regulus.
Regulus had disappeared shortly after their awkward conversation with Bellatrix. James noticed how tense his companion had become, as if every word from his cousin was another needle piercing him. Then, before James could ask if he was okay, Black simply walked away, leaving him standing alone in the middle of the garden.
He feels a bit lost in the crowd. This isn’t his family, most of these aren’t his friends, and pretending to fit into this world is becoming increasingly difficult. He glances at the glass of wine on the table beside him but decides it’s not time for that yet. That’s when he spots Peter Pettigrew, appearing with a girl in tow, holding her hand as though afraid he might lose her in the crowd.
“James!” Peter calls out, smiling broadly, almost with relief. “I thought I’d lost you here.” James turns and raises an eyebrow.
“Lost me? I didn’t know you were looking for me.” Peter laughs nervously, and Caroline, his girlfriend, offers James a shy smile. She’s petite, with light hair and a soft accent that betrays her Australian roots.
“Well, this party’s full of people who look like they’re about to negotiate million-dollar contracts,” Peter quips, glancing around nervously. “I figured I should find someone familiar before things got awkward.” James sighs and gestures to the two empty chairs beside him.
“Sit down. I could use some company.” Caroline sits gracefully, and Peter joins her, still holding her hand. James notices how his friend looks at her with almost tender awe. It’s sweet that they’ve been together since high school and still seem just as in love.
“How do you like it?” Peter asks, gesturing at the garden.
“It’s beautiful, but…” James pauses, unsure if he wants to share how he really feels.
“But?” Caroline prompts softly, her voice filled with curiosity.
“But it’s not my world,” he finally admits. “I feel like I’m playing a role in some kind of performance.”
Peter snorts. “Well, welcome to the club. Though I think you’re handling it better than I am.”
James smiles faintly, but his thoughts keep circling back to Regulus. Where is he? Why did he just walk away? And did what happened between them before this evening change anything?
“I’ll admit,” Peter says bluntly, “I didn’t have you and Regulus on my bingo card.” His girlfriend gives him a light nudge in the arm. James just laughs.
“Yeah, I didn’t expect it either. But hey, love sometimes shows up when you least expect it,” he says with a shrug, trying to sound as natural as possible. Peter has known him the longest, so James knows he has to fake it better with him than with anyone else.
Peter starts to respond, but at that moment, Druella Black and her husband Cygnus step onto the small platform in the main gazebo. Both look flawless. Druella wears a long, black dress that’s light and flowing, perfectly contrasting her blonde hair. Cygnus stands beside her, impeccably dressed in a black suit, his hands clasped behind his back as if overseeing the entire event. Their presence causes the hum of conversation in the garden to gradually quiet, as all eyes turn toward the evening’s hosts.
James glances at Caroline, who straightens in her chair, while Peter looks at him with a slight smile that seems to say, This is the level we’re dealing with.
Deep down, James feels relieved that Peter didn’t continue the conversation about him and Regulus. Pretending around Sirius or Remus is hard enough, but with Peter… That’s a whole different story. Peter knows him very well, sometimes too well.
“Dear friends and family,” Druella begins, her voice calm but commanding enough to carry over the crowd. “Thank you for joining us tonight. This evening marks the beginning of the celebrations leading up to Andromeda and Ted’s big day. As a mother, this is a moment of great pride for me. I am so glad you’ll all be here to share it with us. I remember when I used to braid Andy’s hair, wipe away tears after her first heartbreak, and celebrate her school graduation. I’m proud of the woman she has become, and I’m so happy that she’s found her happiness with Ted. Let’s raise a toast to them.”
Her voice trembles slightly, and Cygnus blinks a little faster, while Andromeda, standing in front of the gazebo, has tears shining in her eyes. James doesn’t understand this family, but he realizes that, in their own unconventional way, they really do love each other.
Peter whistles softly through his teeth, earning another gentle elbow from Caroline. Druella continues, talking about the uniqueness of her daughter and future son-in-law’s relationship, but James can’t focus on her words. His thoughts return to Regulus with renewed force. Is he sitting somewhere in the crowd? Is he even listening?
At one point, he catches sight of him out of the corner of his eye, standing off to the side with a glass in hand. Regulus looks simultaneously present and absent, as though absorbing every word while still being lost in thought. James involuntarily sucks in a breath, feeling a pang in his chest.
Peter leans closer to him, breaking his train of thought. “Something bothering you, mate?”
“What? No, nothing,” James replies too quickly, prompting Peter to narrow his eyes.
“Sure,” Peter says, but doesn’t press. Caroline, however, notices where James’s gaze has landed and offers a faint smile.
“Go to him,” she says softly. She likely assumes they’d had a minor disagreement before arriving, which oddly reassures James. It adds a layer of normalcy to their fake relationship.
“I’ll be back in a bit,” James says to Peter and Caroline as he stands.
Peter rolls his eyes but says nothing, while Caroline gives him an encouraging look. James heads toward Regulus, feeling his heart begin to race. He approaches just as Druella’s speech is ending. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the family gathering for photos, but it feels irrelevant at the moment.
James stops for a moment, considering the best way to start a conversation. Regulus, as always, looks impeccable — black shirt, perfectly tailored trousers —radiating an aura of untouchability. His hand rests loosely on his wine glass, but his eyes seem far away.
“If you’re just going to stand there staring, you might as well turn around and leave,” Regulus says without looking at him, his voice quiet but clear. James raises an eyebrow but doesn’t back off. Instead, he steps closer, leaning casually against the column next to him.
“Not staring, admiring,” he replies with a grin, trying to lighten the mood. Regulus finally turns his head and shoots him a glare sharp enough to kill.
“I’m not in the mood for your jokes, Potter.”
“Alright, how about something more serious?” James adjusts his tone, trying not to sound condescending. “Are you okay? You disappeared right after we talked to Bellatrix.”
Regulus doesn’t respond immediately, as if weighing how much of what he feels he’s willing to reveal. Finally, he exhales and raises the glass to his lips, taking a small sip.
“There’s nothing for you to worry about.”
James frowns, straightening up. “But I am worried.”
Regulus gives him a brief glance before looking back at the illuminated garden. The lanterns sway gently in the breeze, casting warm light over the clusters of people chatting by the tables.
“You don’t need to be.”
“But I should be, shouldn’t I?” James presses, crossing his arms. “Because something’s wrong, and you’re laying everything’s fine, and how I’m supposed to pretend with you?”
“Not everything has to be about you, Potter.”
“And when did I say it was about me?” James raises his hands in mock surrender. “I’m just trying to understand what’s going on.”
Regulus stays silent, his lips pressed into a thin line. James is about to say more when he notices Druella watching them from the gazebo. Her gaze makes it clear she expects impeccable behavior.
“Maybe this isn’t the place for this conversation,” Regulus mutters, stepping away from the column.
“And when will it be?” James asks quietly, not trying to stop him. Regulus glances over his shoulder, his expression a mix of weariness and something James can’t quite name.
“Maybe never.”
“She’s watching us,” James whispers. Regulus frowns in response, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. He thinks James should be smarter than this, but apparently not. “Druella,” James adds. Black tilts back his glass of champagne, finishing it in one swift motion, then sets it down on a nearby table. James chuckles under his breath.
“Kiss me,” Regulus says suddenly. James’s eyes widen in surprise.
“What?”
“Do you need me to say it in another language? She thinks we’re arguing. Pretend you’re trying to appease me or something.”
It’s not that James minds. He figured they’d eventually have to be bolder in their pretense.
“You won’t regret it? I don’t want you to—”
“Just do it.” Now they definitely look like they’re arguing.
James stares at Regulus for a moment, trying to understand what’s really behind his words. He sees the tension in his jaw, the way his hands are clenched. Maybe it’s the earlier conversation, or maybe it’s the fact that they’re surrounded by people whose judging eyes are analyzing their every move.
“Alright,” he finally replies, his voice quieter and more resolute than he intended.
He leans in to fulfill Regulus’s demand but isn’t prepared for how full of anger the kiss will be. Regulus doesn’t wait for James to take the lead; instead, he grabs him by the tie, crashing their lips together in a way that’s more sharp than tender. This isn’t the kind of affection James expected — it’s anger, frustration, and maybe something deeper that Regulus is trying to keep buried.
James feels his heart race. He’s not sure if it’s because of the kiss itself or the storm of emotions Regulus pours into it. They’re both tense, as if fighting each other rather than trying to convince their audience.
When they pull apart, Regulus looks as though nothing has happened. He reaches for the champagne flute he’d set aside earlier and glances away, avoiding James’s gaze.
“Was that enough?” James asks, trying to muster a casual smile, though his heart is still pounding erratically.
“For now,” Regulus replies coolly, not sparing him a single glance. James feels his irritation rise.
“If that was some sort of attempt to piss me off, congratulations, Black. You’ve really outdone yourself.” His frustration grows at Regulus’s sudden indifference and cold demeanor. Regulus casts him a sidelong glance, his expression remaining perfectly neutral.
“You agreed to this, Potter. You could have said no.”
James presses his lips together, holding back a retort. He knows this isn’t about the act of pretending but about something deeper, something simmering inside him ever since Regulus’s tense conversation with his ex-boyfriend. The problem is, he has no idea how to fix it.
xxx
Time passes quickly when your only worry is remembering sunscreen. Well, almost, because tonight James can’t fall asleep for much longer, and the reason isn’t the uncomfortable couch he’s stuck with this time. He wakes up in an empty room, which makes him feel even more uneasy. He has the sense that there’s suddenly a weight of unresolved issues hanging between him and Regulus. He doesn’t even know where to start. They were never friends, and they were supposed to become ones after this trip. But so far, James is convinced that all the progress they’ve made has gone right back to square one.
James lies on his back, staring at the ceiling, where the sun casts irregular shadows. He tosses and turns, trying to find even a hint of comfort on the couch, but his thoughts make it impossible.
It’s Regulus. Or rather, everything that happened last night, from their conversation in the room to the awkward kisses at the party, to the moment when Regulus simply disappeared in the morning without a word. James feels frustration rising in him with every passing minute.
He thought this pretending was supposed to be simple. A few smiles, some staged affection, no complications. But with Regulus, nothing is simple. His behavior is a mystery, and James, though usually good at solving problems, feels like this one is beyond him.
He sighs and gets up, knowing he won’t get any more sleep. Quickly pulling on a random t-shirt and shorts, he leaves the room, making sure that Regulus’s keys are missing from the bedside table.
He heads to the dining area and takes a seat at one of the many empty tables. At this hour, few guests are still coming for breakfast, especially today, when most are recovering from last night’s party. Marlene, carrying a basket of baguettes, flashes him a smile, and he returns it. But since she’s working, she can’t come over to chat.
He helps himself to a croissant and some pistachio cream, though he’s not sure he can actually eat anything. He nearly spills hot tea on himself when the door to the room opens again. He’s surprised, even though he knew Hestia was supposed to be at Andromeda and Ted’s wedding. Aside from him and a few older guests, there’s no one else around, so she spots him quickly. At first, she looks surprised, but then she gives him a smile.
James focuses on his tea, trying to look more occupied than he actually is. But the way Hestia pours herself coffee, precisely adding two teaspoons of sugar, catches his attention more than he’d like. He remembers those little things — how she needed tomatoes with her scrambled eggs, how she always left the crusts of bread untouched. Details that seemed insignificant once now come back to him like ghosts.
Hestia, noticing his gaze, lifts her coffee cup and heads toward his table. James hesitates for a split second, but before he can think it over, she’s already sitting across from him.
“Well, well, James Potter in the flesh,” she says with a faint smile, setting her cup on the table. “I didn’t expect to see you at Andromeda’s wedding.”
“Well, the world is full of surprises,” he replies, trying to adopt his usual carefree tone, though he feels his voice waver slightly. “And you? I thought you were still traveling the world and doing amazing things.” He lies, of course. He knew.
Hestia chuckles softly, bringing the cup to her lips.
“Traveling is on hold for now. I needed some stability, you know, to get back on my feet. And you? What brings you here?” James fixes his gaze on his tea as if it holds the answer.
“I came with Regulus.” He pauses for a moment before adding with a smile, “I liked the idea of two weeks of vacation before the wedding.” Hestia raises an eyebrow.
“Actually, it’s a little over a week now. We couldn’t come earlier because Dirk had to help his father,” she explains somewhat shyly.
“Oh, you came with Dirk?” he asks, and she tilts her head as if she sees right through his pretense. She isn’t connected to the Black or Tonks families, but the only person tying her to the event is Cresswell, her work friend, whom James had often been jealous of.
“Yes. He invited me as his plus-one. We’re still just friends,” she clarifies, as if to remind him that his suspicions about her feelings for Dirk were always unfounded. Even so long after their breakup, they’re still just colleagues. James had been sure there was something more between them, so he’s surprised by this new information.
“Yeah, I should’ve guessed. Dirk and Ted are friends.” Hestia just nods, looking at him with something that resembles an old understanding. James feels the weight of their shared past between them, unspoken but unmistakable.
“You know,” Hestia begins after a moment of silence, “it’s good to see you, James. Really.”
“You too, Hestia,” he replies softly.
They sit in silence for a moment, the only sounds the faint murmur of morning activity in the estate. James wonders if he’ll ever stop feeling that strange tension when he’s near her. This breakup was nothing like the one with Lily. It was loud, full of unspoken grievances and anger. Like a storm that left chaos in its wake.
James stares into his tea, as if the answers to the questions still lingering inside him could be found there. He didn’t know seeing her after all these years could stir up so many conflicting emotions. Memories, both good and difficult, come flooding back with startling intensity.
Hestia looks at him with a gentle, almost sympathetic smile, as if she knows what’s going on in his head.
“Do you think we’ll ever become the kind of people who can look at each other and not feel… all of this?” she asks suddenly, her voice quiet but sincere. James sighs, lifting his gaze to meet hers.
“I’d like to. But honestly? I’m not sure. You were always… intense,” he says with a small smile, trying to lighten the mood, but Hestia just raises an eyebrow.
“And you were… well, you were James Potter,” she replies with a hint of amusement, though there’s something more in her eyes. “But I guess we’ve both changed a bit, haven’t we?” James doesn’t know how to respond. Maybe they have both grown, but part of him wonders if that change will ever be enough to understand why they didn’t work out.
“Maybe. But sometimes I feel like the more I try to change, the more everything just comes back to where it started.” Hestia studies him for a moment, as if trying to decide whether he’s serious.
“Maybe it’s not about changing, James. Maybe it’s about making peace with who we are.”
“Maybe. Why did you block me on every platform?” he asks suddenly, and she looks surprised, as if she’s already forgotten she did that. She pauses, turning her coffee cup in her hands. Her gaze softens, and the corners of her mouth lift into a barely-there smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Because I was angry,” she admits finally, shrugging. “At you, at myself… at how it all ended.” James raises his eyebrows, clearly taken aback by her honesty.
“Blocking me everywhere seems like a pretty… extreme step.” Hestia smirks faintly, her eyes drifting to the window, where the day is beginning to awaken.
“And you never did anything extreme when you were angry? James Potter, the eternal risk-taker who always acted before thinking?”
“Fair point,” he concedes, smiling faintly. “But I still think it was over the top.” Hestia sighs, setting her cup down on the table.
“Maybe. But at the time, I felt like I needed to do it to stay sane. I didn’t want to see you going on with your life as if nothing had happened.”
“You think nothing happened?” he asks, his voice tinged with seriousness. “Hestia, it wasn’t easy for me either.” She looks at him with something resembling sadness, though there’s no accusation in her gaze.
“I know. But James, you always found a way to move on. And I… I got stuck.” For a moment, the silence between them is filled only by the distant hum of conversations from the garden.
“I didn’t want it to feel like that,” James says at last, his voice soft, almost inaudible. Hestia nods, as if understanding more than he can put into words.
“Maybe that’s why it was better to cut everything off. At least for a while.”
James doesn’t respond, because he doesn’t know what he could say to change it. The past they shared now feels like something almost unreal, yet it’s still something they can’t entirely let go of.
Her words linger with him as Hestia stands, taking her coffee cup.
“I’d better go before someone starts wondering why we’re talking so long,” she says with a small smile, but James can see there’s more in her eyes.
“Hestia…” he starts, but he doesn’t know what he wants to say.
“See you around, James,” she interrupts with a smile before disappearing through the door.
James remains alone at the table, feeling the echo of her words reverberate in his mind. Making peace with who he is. Maybe that’s always been his biggest problem.
xxx
It turns out that nothing works better on his emotions than jumping into the Mediterranean Sea with his friends. Sirius and Peter wave at him from the water as he pulls off his shirt.
It’s mid-morning, and Padfoot insisted on a yacht trip. All his friends are here, even Mary and Emmeline, who missed the party last night because Vance wasn’t feeling well.
The sea sparkles under the sun, and the water is so crystal clear that James can see small fish swimming in its depths. The waves gently lap against the yacht’s sides, rocking it in a rhythm that feels almost soothing. But James isn’t here for calm today. He needs energy, laughter, and a bit of chaos.
“Potter, if you don’t jump in within ten seconds, I’ll declare you a coward!” Sirius calls out, raising his hands in a dramatic gesture.
“You don’t have to tell me twice!” James replies, already running to the edge of the deck. He jumps with force, the water enveloping him in a cool embrace. He surfaces, wiping his face, only to be hit with a splash of water straight in his eyes, Sirius never wastes any time.
“That’s for taking so long to get in!” Padfoot yells, laughing like a maniac. Peter, floating somewhat awkwardly on the water, waves at them from a distance.
“You could’ve at least warned me before starting a war!”
“War doesn’t give warnings, Pettigrew!” Sirius shouts, lunging at James, who barely dodges another wave of water.
Laughter echoes from the deck. Mary sits under a parasol, trying to shield herself from the scorching sun, while Emmeline waves at them from her spot by the railing. Her smile is genuine, though she still looks a bit tired.
“You look like children,” Mary says teasingly, glancing at Emmeline, who nods.
“But at least they’re having fun.”
James feels the tension that had gripped him all morning slowly ebb away. Sirius’s laughter is infectious, and Peter’s clumsiness only makes the whole situation more ridiculous.
“Hey, James!” Sirius swims closer, floating on the water with a mischievous grin. “Do you think Regulus would dare to jump in?” James snorts, but something in the comment reminds him of what he’s been trying to avoid.
“Of course, he’d dare,” he says, masking his thoughts. “But first, he’d need to make sure the water’s the perfect temperature and won’t ruin his hair.” Sirius laughs so loudly that even Mary and Emmeline can hear him.
“Was that a compliment? Or did you just insult my brother?”
“Both,” James replies, diving underwater before Sirius can react.
His problems feel like they’re drifting away with the waves, at least for now. Peter yells triumphantly as he splashes Sirius, and loud laughter comes from Remus on the yacht as he chats with Lily. Emmeline and Mary exchange affectionate glances from the loungers where they’re resting, while Caroline and Pandora settle into sunnier spots to sunbathe. Even Marlene is there because James figured he should invite her. She’s currently taking photos with her camera, showing the shots to Evans and Lupin.
Finally, his gaze falls on the last person aboard the yacht. Regulus is already looking at him. But his expression isn’t one of anger or rejection. It’s simply… distant.