Forever Young

September 1st 1977

Fall was only creeping around the corner when James Potter arrived at the train station. Fleamont, his father insisted on pushing the cart loaded with his and Sirius's suitcases. He was lagging while Effie, his mother was walking with energy towards the space between the platforms 9 and 10.

"Fleamont!" the woman exclaimed, turning towards her beloved, a flush showing on her round cheeks, "Stop gawking at these muggles, the boys are going to miss the train."

James's father shot his wife an apologetic look before rushing to catch up with them.

As the quartet ran towards the brick wall and entered a whole new world, James felt a pang of excitement. He was going to see friends that couldn't come over this summer!

Bustling witches and wizards went about on the platform. The red and black Hogwarts Express dominated over the bunch, vapor steaming out from the front and into the crowd. Young children were saying goodbye to their teary-eyed parents, owls flew freely, and cats roamed in between the legs of the students.

"Reckon Moony's here?" Sirius asked, stretching his neck to peer over a group of passing wizards.

"I dunno, he's usually the last one on."

Sirius frowned but was quickly distracted by Effie, who abruptly turned towards the two friends.

"You boys better behave this year!" She warned, although her tone wasn't devoid of kindness. "If I get another letter from McGonagall explaining how you rigged the chairs in her classroom or somehow enchanted the doors to slam in people's faces, I will cut down the food when Christmas comes around."

James gasped dramatically. "You wouldn't!"

"Oh c'mon Ms. Potter, you know that we're living angels, why would we ever do such things?" Sirius asks, a devilish grin on his pale face.

"Although, that's a great idea... Jinxing McGonagall's chairs! Sirius, write it down!" Came a voice behind the family.

Sirius and James turned in unison, with matching smiles on their faces.

"Moony!" James's friend exclaimed.

Sirius threw an arm around Remus's shoulders, kissing his cheek.

"How's our favorite grandpa?" James asked, smiling so broadly that his cheeks hurt.

Remus rolled his eyes in answer, greeting James's parents with a polite handshake. The couple had invited their friend to spend a week at the Potter's house, but Remus had to refuse because his dad had brought him traveling this summer.

James examined his friend. There was a new scar on his face that wasn't there when they had said goodbye in June, but apart from that, their good ol' Moony hadn't changed a single bit. He still had his tanned skin, faintly scarred because of his monthly transformations, and he still wore sweaters even in the sweltering heat of early September.

A loud whistling came from the train, snapping the three friends to attention.

"Alright boys, that's the first bell, you should settle in and get a good seat." His mom said, ushering the three friends towards the train.

"Don't be too much trouble for the teachers, and James, send us letters. We want to hear from you." Effie said, embracing her son in a tight hug, before moving to Sirius and Remus.

Fleamont only smiled and squeezed James's shoulder. "What's life without a little fun? Enjoy your year," he said, finishing his goodbyes with a wink.

James walked to the train's open door as the second bell whistled. He had advanced a few steps before realizing that Sirius and Remus weren't following him.

Puzzled, he turned to see his two comrades where he had left them. His brows furrowed in confusion as he saw the expression on Remus's face. Moony was the calmest of them three, level-headed and reasonable, at least, as reasonable as a Marauder could be. But right now, Remus looked so furious that James was scared he would turn into his werewolf self and leap. His gaze was filled with a rage that almost seemed murderous.

Next to him, Sirius was shut down, face unreadable and grave. His shoulders had curled inwards, and his gaze was lowered to his feet.

James's eyes gravitated to the reason for the sudden somber mood: Sirius's parents, and his brother Regulus trailing behind them.

He crossed the small distance to his friends and stood beside Sirius, giving the boy emotional support to lean on.

Walburga and Orion Black were straight-back people, with evaluating gazes and a permanent sneer on their faces.

James was a little worried, even looking at them. His parents were nowhere to be seen, probably already on their way back home. The three friends were alone with this.

"Look who it is," Walburga sneered, her turtle-neck dress giving her a look of dominance over anybody present on the station. "Our family's disgrace and his little companions. Come Regulus, you wouldn't want to associate with these rats."

James caught a flash of movement in the corner of his eye and realized it was Remus, who had taken an involuntary step forward as if to attack the family. Only Sirius's hand on Moony's shoulder stopped the disaster that would've ensued.

As the wicked couple walked away, Regulus went to follow but stopped dead in his tracks after a few steps. He turned towards the trio, the glanced back at his parents who glared at him. Poor Regulus looked torn between two worlds, James thought.

Last year, Regulus and his friends had started to hang out with the Marauders more. There was a sense of camaraderie between them. For a moment, James thought Regulus might join them and finally put his abusive parents behind him, but the boy pinched his lips and followed Walburga through the crowd.

The last whistle resonated through the platform, and the trio rushed inside to get a cabin for themselves. James worried that the little encounter with Walburga and Orion had ruined Sirius's mood for the rest of the train ride.

As they sat down in an empty compartment, the atmosphere was tense, Pads's eyes still downcast.

Remus wrapped an arm around Sirius's shoulder, pulling him in a tight hug. Reading the room, James left them for a minute, pretending to look for the girls. He knew that Peter was going to join them at Hogwarts since his mother had a job at Hogsmeade and the whole family had stayed there for summer.

He wandered aimlessly through the train and peered through the windows of other's cabins. He felt strangely... not lonely, but something close to it. Since Sirius had started dating Remus, the two had a bond that even James's and Sirius's friendship couldn't break apart. Not that James wanted them to break up, but he missed having a best friend. That probably made him selfish.

He stopped slowly as he looked through a window with only one person in the cabin. It was not common for students to be alone, since the train was so packed with students.

As he peered more attentively, his heart skipped a beat: it was Regulus.

Prongs didn't know what to do. He was even more stunned when he saw a tear roll down Regulus's ghostly pale face. The boy was looking out the window at the fields of wheat blurring into a swirl of yellow and green.

James had never seen Regulus show much emotion. Resignation, disappointment, maybe a slight smile, but crying? That was a sight he'd thought he'd never see.

He debated what to do for a minute before making an impulsive decision.

He opened the sliding door of the compartment, which let him in without much sound.

The slim boy snapped to attention as the door clicked shut. His eyes widened in panic as James sat down next to him.

Prongs was sweating. He didn't know if he was welcome, or if he was just making things worse, but looking in Regulus's red-rimmed eyes, he knew he couldn't go.

"Wanna talk about it?" Dumb move.

Regulus shot him a look so nasty it could've melted his skin right off his bones.

"Okay, okay, sorry. I know you don't like talking about feelings, or anything at all." He apologized, lifting his hands in surrender.

Reg went back to contemplating the passing view, lost in his thoughts. James wished he could take a look inside the boy's head and know what he was thinking about. He couldn't help but notice Regulus's raven black hair that fell over his eyes and made his pale skin seem even paler. He had the sudden urge to brush the rebel strands back from Reg's eyes and wipe his tears away.

His insides twisted, and he knew.

James had known for a while.

He knew in fifth grade when he saw Regulus fly with a skill so close to him. He knew when he caught himself looking at the youngest Black brother whenever he could. He knew when he hoped Reg had sent him a valentine, when it was so out of character, even thinking it felt wrong. He knew when his skin rose with goosebumps when their hands accidentally brushed. He knew when he came to enjoy the boy's presence a little too much.

But James had three problems. He didn't know if Regulus had the same feelings about him, he didn't know what to do in both cases, yes or no, and he was scared of Sirius' reaction.

Sometimes, he thought Regulus could be into him. Nothing special, just a feeling James had, a connection he thought he felt at times, when they both sat in silence. But on the other hand, the youngest Black was as distant as a star in space. So beautiful, but so far away.

The train rattled loudly as he admired the sharp lines of Reg's face and his angelic features. The boy looked almost exactly like his older brother, but without the humor in his eyes and the constant grin.

Prongs furrowed his brows as he noticed that tears had started slipping faster and faster down the boy's cheek.

Something in him clicked, making the decision before he could have second-doubts. Abandoning any sense of prudence, he lifted a hand to Regulus's face and lightly wiped a tear. He expected a harsh movement and an even harsher word. He was prepared for a rejection. For Regulus to tell him to leave and never talk to him again. Or at lest for the boy to flinch.

Instead, he only started crying harder, pressing his cheek against James's hand. Regulus was sobbing, his chest heaving, but he never let out a sound, as if he didn't allow himself to.

Prongs was stunned into silence as Regulus turned and curled up against his body, holding James's shirt tightly.

After the initial shock had passed, James wrapped his arms around Reg's small body, pressing his lips against the boy's hair. He smelled Regulus's shampoo, something soft like clean sheets, and he wished he could bottle it up for later, in case that whatever they were doing was a one-time thing. James certainly hoped it wasn't. He wanted to feel Regulus in his arms forever.

From the outside, what they were doing could almost be considered friendly. Just two friends supporting each other in hard times. But James knew that for him, this was not a friendly thing to do. He didn't know if Reg felt the same way, and it made him scared. Scared that the younger Black would brush it off and they would go back to the fragile peace they held.

He didn't speak, didn't dare break the moment.

They stayed like that for a while, Regulus sobbing, James holding him. He knew that this was not a normal occurrence for the boy. Reg was truly breaking down, his walls crumbling.

Surprisingly, it was Regulus who broke the silence.

"Does he hate me?" He asked, his voice cracking. "My brother, does he hate me?"

Prongs held him tight, before whispering softly, his voice barley understandable over the screeching noise of the train.

"No love, he doesn't."

Regulus stilled, and James took a sharp breath when he realized what he said.

He didn't take it back, and, after a while, Reg relaxed again, one last tear slipping out before James watched the boy build his walls back up, brick by brick.

James felt a pang of sadness. Regulus had probably been told in his childhood to show no weakness, and Prongs couldn't imagine how hard it must've been to hold the emotions at bay.

He was scared that Regulus would go back to his normal distant self, that he wouldn't let him in anymore. He didn't want this special moment to go away, or be forgotten.

Thankfully, he didn't have to think of a question to save the dying moment, because Regulus was turning into a chatterbox -- or at least, a chatterbox in the Regulus Black Talking Scale.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Does any of my behavior right now indicates that I'm mad?"

"'spose not." mumbled Regulus, pressing himself against James's chest.

This couldn't be casual. This has to mean something. James was reeling.

"I just-" began Reg, before pinching his lips together in a fine line.

"Say it."

"I just can't bring myself to leave my parents behind. It's like their walking me on a leash that I can't snap. I want to be like Sirius so badly. I want to be like you guys. you look so free and joyful while I'm scared of following my brother's footsteps. I don't know what to do. I want to be loved by you guys, be part of the group, but I just can't bring myself to do the things required and-"

"Shhh, slow down." James said. Regulus was barely catching his breath, as if the words had come out on themselves, had slipped from his lips.

"First of all, I want you to know that there is not one of us who doesn't think you're part of the 'group' as you call it. Reg, we're friends, it's not because you don't want to leave all you've known behind that you're not someone important. Alright? I know you have it hard, and it's normal to feel that way when you have a toxic family."

"Says the guy who has a perfect one."

"You forgot that I practically grew up with Sirius."

Regulus took a deep, shaky breath and rested his head against Jame's chest.

Oh boy, he probably felt Prongs's racing heartbeat.

James felt strange in Reg's company. He felt so nervous, because being in the same room as the person he loved was no small feat, and yet he was so calm by the boy's silent presence.

"I'll never be like Sirius."

"No, because you're Regulus. You're supposed to be different." When did he become so wise?

"But being me is bad. Being me pushes everyone away, no matter what." Regulus whispered, his eyes wet.

James gently took Reg's delicate chin between his thumb and forefinger, turning the boy's head towards him.

"It didn't push me away."

James didn't know how it happened. He didn't know who leaned in first, didn't know anything except that Regulus Arcturus Black was kissing him, and he never wanted to stop.

It didn't feel wrong, weird, or any other names people called gays. It was perfection. It felt right. The kiss deepened, both of them eager.

James prayed that Regulus meant what he was doing. He hoped it wasn't just a distraction from his misery. Although, he thought, even if Reg only does this as a distraction, I'll take it.

Reg changed positions. He was now sitting over him, both of his legs on either sides of James's.

Prongs kissed Reg's lips, cheek, jaw, and lowered to his neck.

Regulus loosed a breath when James trailed light kissed over the smooth skin of the crook of his shoulder.

James didn't know what would've happened next, because footsteps approached their compartment.

Regulus sat back down on his seat, buttoning up his shirt that had been loosed along the way. James straightened his messy hair and gold-rimmed glasses.

Reg's cheeks had gotten slightly flushed, and James couldn't have seen anything more attractive than Regulus uncomfortable. It made him smirk, raising an eyebrow.

The sliding door opened, and Sirius walked in before stopping short. The eldest Black glanced between the two for a few seconds before saying:

"James, did you kiss my brother?"