Beetlebum
There were many things that James Potter loved. He loved sunny days, loved the colour red, loved dogs, loved his mother's food, loved David Bowie, loved his bandmates.
But besides all that. James Potter loved the feeling of being on a stage. He loved people screaming for his name. There was nothing in the world in which he would exchange this. The adrenaline present in his body as he shouted louder the lyrics of the songs that Sirius and he wrote together.
Sirius threw himself on the ground, bringing all the spotlight to himself. He played the guitar in a majestic way, as if he were the only person in that world who knew how to play the instrument.
Sirius Black knew how to make an audience in love.
Remus, however, a little more reclusive, danced as the music played while tapped his fingers against his bass.
And Peter, at that time of the championship, was already shirtless, hit the battery with an aggressiveness.
The Marauders knew how to put on a show.
They knew what the audience liked. Wherever they passed they could enchant any audience around the world.
Sirius finished his solo, he walked to the other side of the stage where Remus was and simply lowered in front of it, still playing, never stopping. He didn’t need to look at his fingers, Sirius could play that guitar blindfolded if they asked.
His gaze, however, was glazed on Remus, the two didn’t even blink.
James didn’t care about his bandmates, the only thing that hovered in his head were the lyrics of the songs, which he tried to sing as loud as the strings of Sirius’ guitar.
“Beetlebum
Because you’re young
She’s a gun
Now what you’ve done
Beetlebum?
She’ll suck your thumb
She’ll make you cum
‘Cause she’s your gun
Now what you’ve done
Beetlebum?”
Sirius gets up from the floor. His makeup was blurred, his mascara was running down his face, his black clothes, the cropped hitting in his belly showing the navel piercing with the low waist pants marking her waist.
Remus stared at him while playing that bass, as if nothing else mattered but Sirius walking all over that stage.
Sirius was the real star.
But James was not left behind, his voice hoarses his disheveled hair, he didn’t dress as well as Sirius but managed to be as attractive.
James could talk to the audience without even having to say a word.
He had them in the palm of his hand.
"And when she lets me slip away
She turns me on and all my violence's gone
Nothing is wrong
I just slip away and I am gone
There's nothing wrong
She turns me on
I just slip away and I am gone"
Then the stage goes out.
End of the show.
James walks to the back of the stage trying to reward his breath. He’s sweating, his hands are slippery almost unable to hold the guitar properly.
Mary, the band’s businesswoman, has been carrying white towels and some bottles of water, delivering them to each one.
“You were fantastic!” She exclaims as soon as she delivers the bottle to everyone. “So far, you’ve been the most talked about show, it’s on all the radio stations!”
Sirius smiled when he heard that. “I don’t even want to know who will be the next band to perform, they probably won’t do as well as we do.”
He was right. In all his years as a band, no other artist dared to go head-to-head with the Marauders. It’s a war with already proclaimed winners. They were talented enough to be able to make a simple festival become their own show.
No one wanted to go head-on with them.
And James thought that was right.
They were the best.
“They’re name is Death Eaters,” Remus says looking at the plan in his hand. “Who are these?”
“New to the business, they are making a lot of noise among teenagers,” Mary explains methodically. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”
They walk backstage.
Peter was playing with his drumsticks, it was like an addiction for him, James always liked to watch him while he played with the object, as if he were a child who had just discovered the song.
“You’ll need to wait for a few minutes, we’re setting up the stage.” One of the staffs said leaving the dressing rooms. “The other band left a mess.”
Then three men and a woman leave the dressing room. Everyone wore black and had a style very similar to Sirius’s.
One of them wore a red plaid shirt, leaving his chest bare, a pair of ripped jeans only on the left knee. He had a golden piercing on the corner of his lip, his hair disassembled in a messy way on his head. He held a worn black fender guitar, very similar to the one James played.
The woman had a long hair reaching her waist, she wore a mini skirt and a black satin bra and nothing else to cover herself, on her feet there was a platform shoe making her taller than the boy next to her. She carried a black bass also from fender, full of stickers from bands and movies, which James did not know.
The other man was shorter than James, he didn’t wear such revealing clothes, his style was very identical to that of the first boy, but instead of wearing a plaid T-shirt, there was a tank top full of holes and torn black pants, he carried two batons.
And finally a skinny and tall figure came out of the dressing room, he also carried a guitar, it was dark green, almost black. His hair was curly black but underneath you could see some discoloured strands. He had an eyebrow piercing. His T-shirt had the face of Kurt Cobain, singer of Nirvana printed, on the sides joining the shirt were only pins and his tight pants glued to his body. His face was pale, as pale as Sirius’, there was a slight purple colour right under his right eye.
Sirius, however, stared at those people as if they were old acquaintances. James didn’t understand, he didn’t know them, much less had heard of those people.
But Sirius knew them, he made it very evident, at least for James.
Because James knew Sirius as well as a mother knows her own son.
“Regulus?” Sirius’ voice came out low, as if he had managed to take courage to open his mouth.
The curly-haired boy smiled with the corner of his mouth, as if all that was a big joke.
“Sirius.” He answered, his voice was thick and velvety.
Was he the main vocalist? James thought he could spend hours listening to him sing.
“What are you doing here?” Sirius asks.
The hitherto known Regulus shrugged. “Isn’t obvious? I’m playing here today.”
Remus lets out a loud clearing, bringing all his attention to himself. “Who are you?”
“A new band,” the woman said, she removed some of the hair that fell on her face, holding the bass with only one hand.
“A band that will leave you behind.” The boy who had the piercing in his mouth said.
James puffed his chest.
He can’t have made many right choices in life, but that band was all he had, so when someone spoke ill of his companions or his music, his ego was hurt.
He was angry.
“Oh, we made dear Potter angry.” The one with the drobs mocked.
Regulus raised his eyebrows staring shamelessly at James.
James was still taller, but Regulus was a very intimidating person, making James a slight fear of talking to him.
“What are you looking at?” James asks, his breathing was uncompensated and his hair totally dishevelled, in his right hand he held his guitar strongly, making his fingers numb.
Regulus smiles. “I was just wondering if you have a cigarette left over.”
“You’re just talking to me because you want a cigarette?”
Regulus took a step forward, coming face to face with James. “Why Potter, were you waiting for more?”
James looked for Sirius’ gaze as approval, but his friend wasn’t understanding anything, just like Remus and Peter, who watched that whole scene with curiosity.
James took his hand to his pants pocket, removing the pack of malboro from there, he extended one of the cigarettes to Regulus, who slowly took it from his hand.
“Leat lighter?” He asks showing the cigarette as if it were obvious. James lights up. Regulus takes a long drag and soon releases the smoke on James’ face. “Mint. My favourite.”
James swallowed drily.
Tempting.
Regulus was a tempting man.
“Come on, it’s our time to get in.” The girl said.
Regulus left releasing smoke following his bandmates.
The corridor was silent. Nobody said anything. No one understood anything.
Peter with his red cheeks seems to finally take courage to open his mouth.
“What the fuck just happened?” Your voice came out thin.
Remus, who also didn’t seem to understand anything, looked worriedly at Sirius, who was staring at a fixed point where Regulus was later. Remus shook his head towards James, as if trying to make his friend create courage to say something.
“Sirius,” it’s not James who speaks, nor Remus. Peter is the only one who takes the initiative to say something. “Who was that?”
“My brother.” Sirius’ voice comes out so low that everyone needs to bend down to listen.
James laughed.
He laughed because Sirius didn’t have a brother.
Sirius had a sister.
A sister he hadn’t talked to for years or didn’t even know where she was.
Sirius was going crazy, James laughed again, his friend wasn’t making the slightest sense.
“Brother?” Remus asked. “You don’t have a brother, you have a-“
“Regulus, I have Regulus.” Sirius speaks.
He just walks back to the dressing room. James, Remus and Peter look at each other, in a silent conversation they come to the conclusion that Sirius was completely insane.
The three follow Sirius to the dressing room. His friend took a bottle of vodka straight from the neck while watching the television that was on the show of Regulus’ band.
"Need to ask a question
Calling out my name
Nothing seems to bother
Wish I had a clue
C'mon abuse me more I like it"
The piercing boy sang, his voice was melancholic and he played the guitar unpretentiously. The music keeps flowing through the dressing room.
“We’ll I don’t think you like me
I hate you as well
Nobody seems to like you
Wish I couldn’t tell
C’mon abuse me more I like it”
But it was Regulus who drew attention, he played as well as Sirius, or even better, but James wouldn’t say that out loud. He had one of his legs on top of the amplifier and that damn cigarette in his mouth, as if it was no big deal.
Tempting.
Tempting.
Regulus was a tempting man.
“But of course this little shit plays the guitar,” Sirius grumbles taking the vodka back to his mouth, grimacing right after ingesting everything. “Since we were kids he liked to copy me. Now look at him!”
“Sirius,” Remus calls him more like a warning. “You know you shouldn’t be drinking.”
Sirius throws the drink on the floor making the bottle fall and luckily not break. “Fuck him with this cheap backyard band, it looks like a copy of Nirvana, damn punks with their basic lyrics and songs with four chords.”
Peter whistles throwing the drumsticks on the centre table. “I think they did very well in fact.”
“Peter,” Sirius calls him. “Fuck you.”
Peter shows his middle finger and opens a can of beer.
Everyone is quiet, just listening to the sound of the voice coming from the television. Remus smoked near the window, watching the flow of people leaving and entering the festival. Sirius was still very absorbed in another bottle of vodka. Peter didn’t care about anything, he just hit those damn drumsticks on his thigh while sipping a can of beer. James stood up, seriously watching the show that was playing, as hypnotised as Sirius.
Mary entered the room, bringing everyone’s attention to her. The woman who had a smile on her face laughed excitedly as she walked to the four.
“Holly shit, why all this low mood?” She asks arching one of her eyebrows. “Did someone die?”
Remus puts out the cigarette on the window sill and throws himself on the couch next to Sirius taking the bottle from his hand, then drinking the liquid. “Ask Sirius.”
Mary looked curiously at Sirius who finally seemed to get out of that hypnosis in which Regulus put him.
James kept wondering. Who the fuck was Regulus?
James knew everything about Sirius’ life or at least liked to think he knew everything.
He knew that Sirius came from a somewhat famous family in the music industry. His mother was an opera singer and his father a famous agent.
James knew that at the age of sixteen Sirius ran away from home.
He knew that his parents were abusive, that he made him train singing and practice guitar for long hours so that the perfect artist came out.
But there were things in Sirius’ life that were inexplicable to James.
His sister was one of those things.
Sirius didn’t talk about her.
I didn’t say her name.
He just pretended that it never existed.
“Who is Regulus?” James’ voice came out drily. Everyone looked at him, especially Sirius who seemed to be afraid of hearing that name being said out loud.
“Regulus? The guitarist of Death Eaters? What’s in it?” Mary doesn’t seem to understand much, the businesswoman then sits next to Peter.
“He’s a new star, many people are eyeing him. He practically came out of nowhere, suddenly joined the Death Eaters,” she explains. “a very talented band, managed by Lucius Malfoy. A disgusting little man, by the way.”
Lucius Malfoy James knew him, he wanted to arrange the Marauders right at the beginning of the band, however Sirius was against the idea since that man appeared at one of the small shows they did. Sirius seemed to know him and was convinced to deny the proposal from the beginning.
James knew that Lucius was married to one of Sirius’ cousins. He confessed this when he was drunk on the floor of a club in Amsterdam.
“And who are they?” Now it was Peter’s turn to ask. “I thought it was a very rude band!”
“Barty Crouch Jr is the vocalist, Dorcas Meadowes the bassist, Evan Rosier the drummer,” she looked intrigued towards her four friends. “and Regulus Black-“
“The guitarist.” Sirius says it as if it were obvious.
“Sirius, don’t you know him?” Mary asks. “You have the same last name, the whole press is deducing that you are relatives. I need an answer to give them.”
Sirius’ face turned pale, all the colour of his cheeks acquired by alcohol left really fast.
“He’s my brother.” Sirius responds in a low tone of voice.
“Sirius, you don’t have a brother, you have a sister.” Peter answers methodically.
Sirius without patience gets up with anger. “What the fuck! I have a brother, brother. He’s a shit, but that doesn’t give you the right to keep missing his gender.”
“Okay.” James intervenes, trying to somehow appease the situation. “Sirius has a brother, are we all understood?”
Everyone said yes with their heads.
“Sirius,” Remus calls him. “your- your brother, I thought you didn’t talk anymore.”
Sirius laughed mockingly and sat down again. “That little shit called me in the middle of the night, it’s been at least three or four years, I don’t know, I’m not sure. He must have been drunk and told me that from now on I was supposed to call him brother.”
“You recognised him.” Peter scores.
“Yes.” It’s the only thing Sirius can answer at that moment.
“How?” Remus asks.
James feels that Sirius would collapse at any moment, so he soon intervenes, his friend was getting uncomfortable with all that mess.
“Hey, don’t you think we’d better stop this interrogation?” James speaks. “Everyone here knows that Sirius’ family, especially his brother, is a forbidden subject.”
“But-“ Peter tries to say something but James won’t let him.
“There isn’t one but Pete, we’ve already clarified who they are, we don’t need to know anything else.”
Mary also intrudes. “If this makes you better, Marlene will throw a party today, a small celebration for her new album, I thought you would like to go.”
“I think it’s a great idea.” Sirius speaks loudly.
“No,” Remus tries to say something but is soon interrupted by Sirius again.
“Let’s go soon, I need to get drunk.”
He leaves the dressing room without waiting for the others.
...
Since childhood Regulus already knew he would be a star. That was his destiny, he was created to be a star and no one would stand in his way.
Not even his brother Sirius.
Regulus hadn’t seen him for more than seven years, since Sirius decided to leave with his backyard band, which he was proud to say he was part of. Regulus had to grow up hearing that his brother was the most talented, he was practically Sirius’ shadow.
Until now.
There were few things that Regulus loved.
And one of those things was playing the guitar. When he was younger his mother, Walbuga, decided that her children would be musical prodigies, each one would have to sing and play at least one instrument.
Sirius got the guitar while Regulus had to learn to play the violin.
Years passed and Regulus, even being forced to play the violin, carefully watched his older brother playing the guitar. He practically learned to play the instrument just by looking at Sirius, all he knew how to play was his brother who taught him.
Regulus was lucky to be able to learn enough to start playing the guitar.
There were people who said that Regulus was a better guitarist than his brother.
These people weren’t wrong.
Regulus was really good at what he did.
After the show at the festival, everyone in the band found out that they became the most talked about artists at the moment.
God, they had just finished the first album and it was already blown up like that.
Regulus liked the feeling of being loved by the public. None of this would have happened if it weren’t for him.
Dorcas could have started the band.
But it was Regulus who made them famous.
“Party at Marlene’s house,” Barty says drinking beer. “Who is Marlene?”
Dorcas who smoked a back of marijuana sharing it with Evan and Barty. “Argh, she sings that horrible song that doesn’t leave the radio.”
Evan laughed. “The one about a glue?”
“Glue song?” Barty asks. “I think it’s that.”
“It sucks.” Dorcas murmurs.
Regulus rolls his eyes. Evan extends the cigarette to his friend who denies with his head. Barty who stared at him attentively waiting for his turn to smoke and Evan who released the smoke up thus passing the cigarette to Barty.
“So, we saw your brother,” Barty starts talking by bringing the cigarette passing to Dorcas eventually.
Regulus doesn’t care, they could talk about Sirius as much as they wanted, he wouldn’t say a word about it.
“I’m fully aware of that.” Regulus responds by opening a beer.
“And James Potter.” Evan continues. “You flirted with him.”
Regulus shrugged. “I flirt with everyone.”
“Yes, we already know, you’re a bitch.” Dorcas says passing the cigarette to Evan.
“See? Subject closed.” Regulus says.
“So Marlene.” Evan comes back to the subject, Dorcas snorts angrily. “Are we going to this party or not?”
“Who invited us? We don’t even know her.” Dorcas asks.
“Pandora.” Barty says.
Pandora Rosier was a stylist and Evan’s twin sister, she worked with most of the singers and bands on the rise, Pandora worked for a short time with them, a favour that she owed to Evan, but her style didn’t match so much with the concept of the band, and there was Barty who couldn’t hold the dick inside his pants and ended up staying with Pandora for some time which made Evan start a big discussion about it what made Pandora have to resign for the sake of her relationship with her brother, she ended up getting a job as a style Of actress Lily Evans.
The two nowadays take that little relationship as a joke or use the subject only to annoy Evan.
“It would be cool,” Evan comments. “A party after we practically ended the Marauders at the festival today.”
“Truth.” Dorcas scores. “We did well as fuck.”
Barty gave a dirty smile. “We should go out to celebrate!”
“What do you think Regulus?” Dorcas asks.
Regulus took a big sip of his beer, and looks at the three friends. “I think we should go to this party.”
...
When James was younger, his mother warned him several times about the danger of fame. At first he didn’t understand very well, he thought his mother was just being paranoid.
Until the release of his first album, five years ago, James can swear that he would give up all that and that he would go back to his parents’ house, go to college to have a family and children.
James didn’t like being surrounded by drunk people, drugged, paparazzi, crazy fans. The only thing James wanted was to write songs.
He also realised that not everything in that industry was about music, often it was about who had more money, who fucked more fans, who could drink more or get drugs more.
James was not prepared to participate in all that. Fuck, he was only nineteen years old.
Now older, James could understand more about that hostile environment he lived in daily. After almost five years, he understood all that.
Sirius has always been the best in that kind of environment, it may be because he was created to participate in that culture.
Remus didn’t seem to enjoy much, but every time he drank he became the star of the party, so he was invited to almost all of them.
And Peter, well, Peter really managed to enjoy in all that situation. After Sirius, Peter was the best at talking to the audience and dealing with them.
There were people near the pool sniffling cocaine and using other illicit drugs that James didn’t like to be near.
He tolerated weed.
He liked to keep his distance from the rest.
Remus, on the other hand, loved to frequent that kind of place.
James hated that.
Sirius hated that.
And Peter hated that.
But not Remus.
Remus was a person who was always sick and needed distractions for his mind, no matter how much James complained to his friend. He didn’t stop.
Remus didn’t want to stop.
“Guys, you guys came!” Marlene screams excitedly. The girl wore a yellow bikini, her shorts were open revealing the bottom of the same colour. Her hair, now dyed black, was neat and a hairstyle full of glitter. “I watched today’s show, you guys were phenomenal!”
“Thanks, babe.” Sirius replies with a wink. “Where are the drinks?”
Marlene fixes her posture. “In the kitchen, Lily was there.”
“Great. Come on Pete, let’s go after happiness.” Sirius pulls Peter by the arm and drags him towards the kitchen of Marlene’s big house.
“Remus,” James calls the friend who was watching the pool people in amazement using all possible drugs. “Don’t use it, it’s not good for you.”
“I won’t wear much today, I promise.” Then he walks away, leaving James and Marlene behind.
James feels worried. He thought he needed to take care of his friends.
If Sirius had insomnia? James stayed up late talking to him.
Was Peter feeling sad? James made jokes to make him smile.
Remus used a lot of drugs and couldn’t stand up? James took care of him until he got better.
That’s what James does. HeTook Care Of It. He Took Care Of It. And heTook Care Of It.
That’s all he knew how to do. He’s friends were he’s responsibility and always would be, no matter what happens.
“James,” Marlene calls him. “man, Pandora is making some wonderful drinks! Let’s go.”
The two go into Marlene’s mansion. There were some people dancing in the living room, others smoking on their couch. Sirius danced, he freyed against another man, whom James didn’t know. Peter chatted with a brunette-skinned girl, the two were so close, in an unnecessary way, since the music was not so loud for the two to be whispering.
Lily was there.
Lily Evans She was an actress, she was famous since she was very young. As famous as Marlene and the Marauders together. She has participated in several movies, but now her focus was on plays, where she acted and sang in musicals.
James liked Lily, she was a very lovely girl and easy to talk to. James remembered his first party, more specifically the release party of his first album, that’s where he met Lily. The two spent the whole night drinking and talking. It was a magical day. The two have since maintained a certain relationship, nothing more than a few hidden encounters and stolen kisses at parties.
Nothing else.
Lily didn’t want James.
James had his heart broken.
Peter used to joke that all the songs James wrote were for Lily. He wasn’t wrong.
Lily Evans was James’ true muse. As Remus was Sirius’ muse.
“Hey Potter, you did well today.” Lily says, she had a pink drink with several cherries around the glass. “Cherry liquor with vodka.” She explains.
James makes a face. “That must be strong.”
“The way I like it,” she looks at Pandora tenderly. “Panda knows how I like it.”
Pandora was a woman with dark skin and green eyes, a blonde hair with braids and dreads scattered on her head, just like Marlene, she had glitter spread all over her scalp. Her clothes were a vibrant pink tone, a cropped and a skirt.
James didn’t know Pandora very well. He knew she was Lily’s stylist, Pandora never had the opportunity to dress the Marauders, since they have always made it clear that they liked to choose their own clothes.
“Oh Jamie,” Pandora’s voice was sweet. “my dear and beautiful Jamie, I assume you came after a drink.”
“Yes, of course it is.” James answers.
Pandora smiles. “You know, I read about a wonderful drink, old Blue eyes Martini.” She explains with sparkles in her eyes. “It’s blue, I love the blue colour, I think it suits you.”
“Blue?”
“Your aura. She exudes blue colour.” Pandora explains already taking all the ingredients to make the drink.
“Pandora is making the drinks according to the person’s aurea combines.” Lily comments, sipping her drink.
“And is your aura pink?”
Lily laughed. “I’m a romantic person.”
“Lily is the kindest person I know!” Pandora exclaims extending the drink for James to pick up.
James takes it, taking it to his mouth making a face soon after. That was pure alcohol. Pandora looked at him with expectations, so in order not to make the girl sad James smiled and made a thumbs up with his hand.
“It’s great Panda.” He speaks feeling the liquid go down his throat.
Pandora smiles.
“You hated it, right?” Lily asks when Pandora went to talk to Marlene, leaving the two alone for a few minutes.
“It’s horrible.” James answers by leaving the glass on the counter.
Lily bursts into laughter, James laughs with her. Because there was no way not to be radiant when Lily Evans was around.
It was practically impossible.
“Oh, who are they?” Lily asks, James quickly turns around, facing Sirius’ brother’s band entering through the main door.
“Shit,” James whispers to himself.
“That boy strangely resembles Sirius.” Lily speaks.
James needed to find Sirius.
Where was he? James, however, couldn’t move.
One. Because Regulus stared at him with a mischievous smile on his face.
Two. Because James forgot how to breathe.
“Evan!” Pandora screams on the other side of the room, she runs out to hug her friends. “Come, come, let’s meet everyone!”
Lily puts her hand on James’ arm drawing his attention. James finally stops watching Regulus.
“Do you know them?” She asks.
“Uhum.” James answers, taking the glass with Pandora’s drink to his mouth. At that time James didn’t bother with the predominant taste of alcohol. “A new band.”
Lily seems to be thoughtful, while watching the group passing through the whole room complimenting everyone that Pandora showed them.
“That boy, the one with curly hair.” Lily starts, she was talking about Regulus. “He’s very handsome.”
James had no mental health to answer her. “Lily, I’m going outside, I need to smoke.”
“Right. OK, OK.”
So James leaves. He can see Remus on one of the loungers with his eyes closed, Remus should probably already be too stoned to see Regulus and his friends.
James didn’t know where Sirius was, he hoped Sirius was far away and that he didn’t see Regulus.
James took a deep breath trying to put all his thoughts in order. He should look for Sirius and leave as soon as possible, his friend couldn’t deal with Regulus.
Sirius didn’t like dealing with his family. And James knew that more than anyone else.
James lights his last cigarette, carefully observing any space in which Sirius could be. He brought the mint cigarette, which Remus had given him a week ago.
“I assume this is your last,” he heard a voice coming from behind. James turned around facing Regulus, his hair was now messy, his curls were no longer so well finished. His cheeks had a red colour, right under his eye had a purple mark. Regulus smiled scratching his eyebrow, the piercing moved as his fingers came into contact with the jewel.
“Yes.” James responds by bringing it again, then he extends the cigarette to Regulus.
“Your friend Remus,” Regulus says. “He can take it a lot.”
James looks at Remus, who was now awake smelling something on the table near the pool. James sighs.
“Do you use it?”
Regulus gives him the cigarette. “Yes.”
James is silent, bringing the cigarette. “Your brother.”
“Sirius.” Regulus responds as if James needed to remember Sirius’ name.
“Stay away from him.” James says puffing his chest.
Regulus takes the cigarette from his hand taking it to his mouth. He smoked seriously while looking deep into James’ eyes. “Don’t worry Potter, it’s not in my plans to talk to Sirius again.”
“I think it’s good.” James answers.
“But from now on, I hope you all know, I won’t disappear.” Regulus says with the cigarette between his fingers. “It won’t be Sirius who will take away my only chance to finally have what I’ve always wanted.”
“And what would it be?”
“Fame.” Regulus answers by extinguishing the cigarette. “Sirius and no one will ruin it. Are we understood Potter?”
James makes a face. “And why would we get in your way?”
Regulus laughs with mockery. “It’s just a reminder.” He then turns his back but speaks again. “We’ll Potter see you later. Enjoy your drink.”
Then Regulus Black returns inside the house. Leaving James trapped in his own thoughts.
It takes time for him to finally create courage and go after Sirius and the rest of his friends.
He had already been fed up with that party.
...
Sirius was hiding embraced with a bottle of wine in Marlene’s pantry. He saw Regulus entering with that air of superiority that Sirius’ family exhaled.
Sirius couldn’t see his little brother, now so tall and so older. Sirius remembers his brother from when they were still children, even though the two had to mature too fast. Regulus would always be Sirius’ younger brother.
Now he was there, just a few centimetres higher than Sirius. He’s curly hair, he’s eyes so identical to Orion’s, grey and opaque.
The look without any trace of life.
Seeing him killed Sirius.
Because Sirius abandoned him.
Because Sirius was too cowardly to talk to his own brother and the only solution he found was to drink.
Ah Sirius had serious problems with drinks.
If Remus was always stoned.
Sirius was always drunk.
Being sober was out of the question. If Sirius had to spend more than fifteen minutes trapped in his own thoughts he would be able to commit an act of madness.
He should be looking for James.
James would help him.
James always helped him.
But Sirius found a little peace at the bottom of that closet with that bottle of dry wine in his hands.
“Sirius?” It was Remus’ voice.
Sirius gave a big sip in the wine. “I’m here.”
Remus opened the door. He was a huge mess, his nose had a little blood that made his white button-up blouse.
“Hiding?” Remus asks joining him, closing the door soon after.
The closet was dark, but Sirius could feel Remus’ brown eyes watching him.
“Yes.” Sirius answers sighing. “Regulus is here.”
“I saw it.” Remus says bringing the bottle of wine to himself and drinking it right after. “He was very committed to smelling all that.”
“Look who’s talking, your nose is bleeding.” Sirius comments, hitting his leg on Remus’ leg.
“It wasn’t because of the drug.” He explains. “I didn’t use it so much to make my nose bleed.”
Sirius knew that Remus used, for so long that he knew about Regulus.
His brother has always been the weakest. The easiest to manipulate. At the age of fourteen, his cousins had already shown the wonder of cocaine to his younger brother. Sirius always knew that at some point Regulus would give in and end up using that shit.
“So what happened?”
“That idiot, Barty, accidentally punched me in the face,” Remus shrugged. Sirius could hear him drinking wine. “James is looking for you, he seems stunned to me.”
Sirius closed his eyes tightly, his head hurt. “He must be worried.”
“He’s always worried about all of us.” Remus returns the bottle to Sirius. “I think Regulus left him stunned.”
“He really freaked out when my brother asked for a cigarette, didn’t he?”
Remus laughed. “Oh yes, our Prongs is not programmed for situations like this.”
Sirius laughed because it was funny. The way James acted, hypnotised by Regulus.
If Sirius didn’t hate his brother, he would try to bring that couple together somehow.
But Sirius loved James too much to let him get involved with Regulus.
James deserved more.
“It would be funny if it wasn’t sad,” Sirius sighs. “Hey, are you cool?”
Remus said yes. “I’m fine Six, a little sleepy, I think we’d better leave.”
“No, no, stay a little longer.” Sirius pulled Remus by the hand preventing him from getting up. “Let’s finish this bottle and then we can go.”
“You shouldn’t be drinking.”
“And you shouldn’t be taking drugs, but here we are disappointing each other.” Sirius responds by taking the drink again towards his mouth.
Remus didn’t say anything else.
The two spent the rest of the night together.