Compatibility
Thursday, 19th December
Barty – 23.07
Ev
Quick
Evan – 23.07
What
Barty – 23.07
Cats or dogs?
Evan – 23.08
What
Barty – 23.08
Cats or dogs???
Evan – 23.08
What Barty
Barty – 23.08
Cats or dogs, Evan???
You know, the two animals???
Meow
Wow
Evan – 23.08
Yeah but what the fuck is the reason???
WHY are you asking me to choose between cats and dogs?
Barty – 23.09
Just choose
It can’t be that hard
Evan – 23.09
Dogs?
Are you going to tell me why now?
Barty – 23.10
Sunset or sunrise?
Evan – 23.10
Sunset
Who the fuck would pick sunrise???
Barty – 23.10
Staying in or going out?
Evan – 23.10
???
Barty – 23.10
Staying in or going out???
Evan – 23.11
I really don’t get this
Barty – 23.11
Date-wise, Evan
Would you rather stay in and watch a film while eating take outs or would you rather go out and party all night
Evan – 23.12
Yeah, no I get the question
I’m not that dumb
You already took that medal
I’m just confused why you’re asking
Barty – 23.12
First of all
Ouch
Second of all
I’ll answer once I’ve got my answers
Staying in or going out???
Evan – 23.13
If this is your way of asking me out, it’s even more horrible than your prior attempts
I’m not going on a date with you
Barty – 23.13
Just answer the question Evan!
Staying in or going out
Evan – 23.13
Going out but you already knew that
So what’s the point in asking
Barty – 23.14
Just double checking
Light or dark chocolate
Evan – 23.14
Dark
I’m not a monster
Unlike you
I don’t get how you inhale that sugar stuff without vomiting all over yourself
White chocolate isn’t even real chocolate
Barty – 23.14
Hey
Don’t diss my chocolate
Evan – 23.15
Still not chocolate
Barty – 23.15
It tastes absolutely amazing and I’m incredibly sorry that you don’t get to experience that because your taste equals to one of a vampire
You practically eat dirt
Fuck off with your 80% chocolate
Evan – 23.16
One day you’re going to choke on that sweet sweet white chocolate and that day I’ll laugh at you until you die from sugar shock
Barty – 23.16
…
Kinkyyy
Evan – 23.16
You’re disgusting
Barty – 23.17
Next question
Flowers or chocolate?
Evan – 23.17
Are you sure you aren’t trying to ask me out?
Barty – 23.17
No
Now answer
Evan – 23.17
I feel like this is a trap
Barty – 23.18
It is
Answer
:3
Evan – 23.18
Chocolate
But only if it’s dark
Barty – 23.18
Noted
Black or white?
Evan – 23.18
Chocolate?
Barty – 23.19
Colours
Evan – 23.19
Black
Barty – 23.19
Tattoos or piercings
Evan – 23.19
Both
Barty – 23.20
Right or left
Evan – 23.20
Left
Barty – 23.20
God, you’re so predictable
Evan – 23.20
Move on Barty
Barty – 23.21
Yes, sir
Reading or watching a movie?
Evan – 23.21
Watching a movie
Barty – 23.21
Burger or Pizza
Evan – 23.21
Burger
Barty – 23.22
Oh, this one is important
Does pineapple belong on pizza
Evan – 23.22
Yes
Barty – 23.22
WHAT
YOU HATE PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA
Evan – 23.22
No I don’t
Barty – 23.23
BUT YOU DO
YOU LITERALLY HATE IT
I’VE SEEN YOU EAT PIZZA BEFORE
YOU HATE PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA
Evan – 23.23
I literally don’t, Barty
I don’t know why you’d think I’d hate it
Barty – 23.23
You’re fucking with me
You don’t actually like pineapple on pizza
You’re lying deliberately to piss me off
Evan – 23.23
Pfft
You know me Barty
I’d never
Barty – 23.24
Yes, I do know
You absolutely would do that
In fact you actually have done that before
Evan – 23.24
Name one time I did it
Barty – 23.24
That time you poured coffee over my sweater
Evan – 23.24
I did not pour coffee over sweater Barty, you’re delusional
Barty – 23.25
And that time I lost your phone but I didn’t actually lose it because you had it, but you refused to admit that it was yours and said you got a new phone
Evan – 23.25
I did get a new phone Barty
Exactly how many times have you hit your head?
Barty – 23.25
NONE
Evan – 23.26
Bro
There’s no need for me to gaslight you about that
You literally walked directly into a wall this morning
Barty – 23.26
WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT
ALSO
You just admitted to gaslighting me
Evan – 23.26
No I didn’t
Barty – 23.26
YOU DID
Evan – 23.27
You’re hallucinating again
Anyways, what was the reason behind those questions again?
Barty – 23.27
I’M NOT HALLUCINATING
Oh, that
I almost forgot
Hold on
I’ll be right back
Evan – 23.27
Take your time
Barty – 23.29
*Picture attached*
Evan – 23.29
What the fuck is that
Barty – 23.29
A screenshot
Of an online test to find out how compatible you and your friends are
We’re 96% compatible
Do you know what that means?
Evan – 23.30
Don’t say it
Barty – 23.30
You should go on a date with me
Evan – 23.30
I knew it had something to do with it
And no, I’m not going on a date with you
Barty – 23.30
But we’re 96% compatible
Evan – 23.31
You cheated the test
Barty – 23.31
…Says the gaslighter
Evan – 23.31
It’s not gaslighting if it’s true
Barty – 23.31
I didn’t cheat though
Evan – 23.31
Did though
Barty – 23.32
Did not
Evan – 23.32
Did
Barty – 23.32
Bro I answered all the questions before you did
How could I have cheated???
Evan – 23.33
You know me well enough to know exactly what I’d answer to every question, so you just based your answers of that
Barty – 23.33
But isn’t that just another reason for us to go out???
I know you
Very well
So you should go on a date with me
Evan – 23.34
No
Barty – 23.34
Give me one reason why not
Evan – 23.34
Because it’s a joke and I don’t want to joke about that stuff
Barty – 23.34
Who ever said it was a joke Evan?
Evan – 23.35
So it’s not a joke?
You’ll pull yourself together?
Stop flirting with everyone and be for real about what you feel and don’t feel?
You’ll be serious?
Barty – 23.35
Would you really want that?
For it to be real?
Like a serious date?
Evan – 23.36
You see that?
That’s what I mean
You don’t fucking think
You joke around with feelings like they don’t fucking exists
No matter what I answer when you ask me out, it’ll always be wrong Barty
Either I’m cruel and heartless for not giving it a try but if I do want to try it out I’m weird because what the hell, we’re best friends, not lovers
So either you stop all your fake flirting or you pull yourself together and do it right because I’m done with all your mixed signals
You can go fuck yourself
Barty – 23.37
I didn’t mean it like that Evan
I was just asking if you’d actually want to go out with me because you always refuse me
I just seriously didn’t think you’d be interested
But if you want to, I will pull myself together
It doesn’t have to be a joke, you know
Barty – 23.40
Jesus fucking Christ
You don’t have to ignore me
Who’s now immature?
Barty – 23.46
I don’t even know why I’m trying
I shouldn’t be the one apologising, but who the fuck ever told you it was a joke???
Because I sure didn’t
Just because I’m flirty by nature doesn’t mean I’m an absolute fucking whore who doesn’t care about people’s feelings
You know, I have them too
Feelings, that is
Friday, 20th December
Evan – 08.32
Just forget about it, okay