A connection
Regulus
“Now boarding flight 116, gate 4.” A loud voice called over the airport speakers, cutting through the music blasting through Regulus’s headphones. He sighed and got up from the sticky airport seats, heading toward his gate.
Before he boarded the plane he sent off a quick text to Evan, letting him know that he was getting on his flight. He didn’t respond, so he assumed he was busy with Barty and their codependent, extremely homosexual friendship. Oh well.
As he got on the plane, the flight attendant smiled at him, and he tried to return the gesture. His face must not have cooperated, because the flight attendant’s smile slowly dropped.
Regulus sighed and got into his seat, looking out the window. He was soon joined by an older man and woman. The man seemed to have allergies because he began sneezing uncontrollably. The flight attendants came around and checked everyone’s seatbelts, and the pilot made the announcement for them to shut their phones off. Before he did, Regulus sent a quick text to his brother.
Dipshit
Regulus
I just got on the plane. Should be there around 6 pm.
Dipshit
👍
Regulus sighed and put his phone on airplane mode leaning back into his seat. He and Sirius had a… complicated relationship. Growing up with parents like theirs, it was hard not to.
When Sirius ran away at sixteen, Regulus didn’t follow for four years. He hated Sirius for a long time, he had thought his brother had abandoned him. In reality, Sirius just couldn’t take the abuse anymore, and no wonder. They were always worse to him than they were to Regulus, at least in the beginning.
Even so, when Regulus finally cut off the Black family, he didn’t get in contact with Sirius for months. He put it off, telling himself that Sirius wouldn’t want anything to do with him. Finally, Pandora had given Sirius his number, because she had moved back to their hometown. Regulus had no idea until Sirius reached out, asking to rebuild their relationship.
It wasn’t easy. They met up once a month, because Sirius had to travel a lot for work. He only lived a couple hours from Regulus, but it was much easier to fly than drive there.
Regulus watched as snow began to fall from the clouds. He had been invited to spend Christmas with Sirius and his boyfriend Remus. Hesitantly, he accepted. Now, a feeling of foreboding overcame him as the snow began to fall faster, and the baby in the seat behind him started to cry. He sighed again and closed his eyes, resigning himself to his fate.
_______________________________________________________
James
“Dad, when are we going to see Uncle Moony and Uncle Pads?” Harry whines from the table where he is drawing with the crayons Lily got him.
“Just in a few minutes Harry, I have to get dressed and shower.” He said as he finished washing the dishes, and planting a kiss on his son’s head. Harry looked up at him, widening his big green eyes and forming his expression into a pout.
“Please Dad?” Harry asked, drawing out the syllables. James ran a hand through his hair, debating himself. He was only in his sweats, and his hair was a mess, and he desperately needed a shower. But it was just Sirius and Remus, and they’d seen him in much worse.
With another glance at his son, James’s resolve crumbled. “Ok Harry, we can go now. Just make sure you clean up your crayons.” He said with a smile.
Harry beamed immediately. “Yay!!” He exclaimed, hurrying to pick up the crayons scattered on the table and put them back in their box.
James chuckled and went to grab their coats. It was the beginning of December, and the first snow was only a week ago. Harry had been with Lily that day, but she had sent him pictures of her, Pandora, Luna and Harry playing in the snow.
The pictures had made him smile, but also evoked a sense of melancholy in him. He and Lily had gotten divorced two years ago, when Harry was only three. They had realized after being married for a while, their love had changed into something more friendly than romantic. Once they had separated they fell until an easy rhythm of being friends and coparenting Harry. Lily had met Pandora at a coffee shop after she had moved back to town, and they had been dating for a few months. Pandora also had a daughter named Luna.
They made the perfect little family, and James was more than happy for them. Still, he wished he had someone to share his life with. Someone who could be a part of his family.
“Dad, can you help me?” He heard Harry ask, snapping him from his thoughts. He looked down to see his son holding the zipper of his jacket in his hands, obviously very confused.
“Of course Haz,” He said, kneeling and zippering the jacket. When he got back up, Harry giggled excitedly and ran out the door, to the house beside theirs.
James smiled and walked up the driveway, calling out “Make sure you knock Harry!”
Harry paused in front of the door, looking back at James’s yell. He knocked, and Remus opened the door as James reached it.
“Uncle Moony!” Harry yelled, reaching out his arms to give Remus a hug. Remus returned the gesture, used to Harry being overly affectionate. Remus picked Harry up and carried him into the house as James followed.
“Harry! We weren’t expecting you guys. We thought you were someone else,” He said, walking through the hallway and into the living room. “Sirius! It’s just James and Harry!” He called into the house.
Remus and Sirius’s house was very christmas-y. The tree was up, its twinkling lights reflecting in the windows, and the fireplace was going. It was also very clean, more clean than usual.
“Moony, who were you guys expecting?” James asks, heading into the living room as Remus sets Harry down. Sirius then barreled into the room, sweeping his godson into his arms.
“Sirius’s brother,” Remus whispered, watching Harry and Sirius with a fond smile.
“Wait, Regulus is coming?!” James exclaimed, suddenly feeling self conscious of his sweats and messy hair. James remembered Regulus from school, how could he forget? He was the perfect Black heir, always cold, mean. But lying underneath all that was a spark, and James knew it. He had always tried to include the younger Black, even when he and Sirius stopped talking. Regulus was always quick to dismiss him, but James never stopped trying.
That was until the Blacks left town, moving to France and dragging Regulus with them after Sirius ran away. After that, he never saw Reg again. He tried not to think about how empty that last year at school felt without him, how James unconsciously looked for him everywhere.
Eventually that feeling had faded, and James went on with his life, without Regulus. Now though, Sirius and Regulus had made up, and once again, Regulus Black was being thrust into his life.
“Yeah, he’s coming for Christmas,” Remus replied, eyeing James. He felt his heart start beating suspiciously fast.
“I-” He started, but he was soon cut off by knocking at the door.
Remus and Sirius shared a look, Sirius clutching Harry tighter. Remus walked over to Sirius and planted a kiss on his forehead. He seemed to whisper something to the other man, but James was too preoccupied with panicking over Regulus to hear it.
Remus left the living room and made his way to the door. James frantically tried to make himself presentable as he heard the door open, and Remus speaking.
Footsteps started coming toward them and James took a deep breath. “Reggie!” He heard Sirius say, his voice only a little bit strained as he made his way past James and toward his brother.
Time seemed to still as James let his eyes wander to Regulus. As soon as they found him, the breath was stolen from James’s lungs.
Regulus had always had a sort of graceful beauty surrounding him, he was a Black after all. Now though, James looked at him and had to work very hard not to let his jaw drop. His hair was longer, grown out so that it curled softly around his ears. He was still as pale as always, but thanks to the cold season a lovely flush was present on his cheeks, along with faint freckles that had James’s heart stumbling over itself. His eyes were still the same cool gray, and when they met James’s they widened just slightly.
He was unable to form words, just staring dumbly at Regulus, and the way the few melting snowflakes in his hair looked. Conversations carried on around him, but James was oblivious to them. Oh he was so fucked.
_______________________________________________________
Regulus
When he arrived at his brother’s house, the last thing he was expecting to see was James Potter, with a kid no less. He supposes he and Lily must have finally gotten married. Good for them.
Regulus tries not to think of James. Tries not to think of the way he used to smile at Regulus, the way he used to talk to him no matter how much of a cunt Regulus was, the way he seemed to genuinely care about Regulus. It hurt too much to remember. So Regulus tried his best not to.
Still, he wasn’t entirely able to push the memories away. He knew that he had liked James for sure, maybe even loved him. He had told himself that all those ridiculous feelings had ended when Sirius ran away to live with James when Regulus was only fifteen. He couldn’t love someone who had stolen his brother.
And James didn’t feel like that for him anyway. He was in love with Lily, he’d had their wedding planned since he met her. Still, sometimes he could pretend. Sometimes he thought that just maybe, there was a way for him to have everything. To have James and his brother, and still have his parent’s love. But then Sirius ran away, and Regulus moved schools and that dream died along with any feelings he had for James.
But now, Regulus is back. He is an adult, and he wouldn’t let a stupid childish crush get in his way, even if James was so hot he made old, stained sweats look good.
“Reggie!” Sirius exclaims, moving forward to hug him. Regulus returns the gesture, though a bit awkwardly. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
It sounds sincere, more sincere than Regulus was expecting. He almost wants to smile.
“I’m happy to be here Sirius.” He responds, and he’s surprised to find he means it. Sure his flight was hell, but he’s glad that he and his brother are at a place where they can spend the holidays together.
“I’ll take your bag up to the guest room while you guys catch up,” Remus says quietly, and Regulus nods. Once Remus is out of the room a small voice breaks the slightly awkward silence.
“Dad,” The child in James’s arms tried to whisper, “Who’s that?” He asks, looking at Regulus.
“That, Harry,” Says James, smiling, “Is Uncle Pads’s brother.”
“Woah, Uncle Pads, you have a brother?” The kid, Harry asks, squirming in James’s hold until he sets him on the floor.
“Yes I do Harry,” Sirius says, leaning down and ruffling the little boy’s curly hair. He glances at Regulus before saying, “Would you like to meet him?”
Regulus tried to signal to Sirius to fuck off, that he’s tired and not at all in the mood to deal with a kid right now, not that he’d ever be because kids hate him for some reason. Well, except for his goddaughter, Luna, but she’s an unusual child. Sirius doesn’t seem to get the message, and Harry is already nodding enthusiastically.
He runs back to James and takes his hand, dragging him closer to Regulus. Sirius and James share an amused look while Harry comes to a stop in front of Regulus, half hiding behind James’s leg.
“Regulus this is Harry,” Sirius says, gesturing toward where Harry is hiding, “And Harry this is my little brother Regulus. Reggie, say hello.”
Regulus shoots a glare at his brother, but turns to the child nonetheless. “Hello Harry.” He says.
The little boy slowly peeks out from behind James, looking up at Regulus with his big green eyes. He’s the spitting image of James, the same wild hair and dark skin, but he must have Lily’s eyes. He’s adorable, and Regulus, cold hearted, unfazed Regulus, has to repress the urge to coo at him.
“Hullo,” Harry mumbles, and James chuckles, drawing Regulus’s eyes to him instead of his son. James’s brown eyes meet his and Regulus swears he can feel his heart beating out of his chest. James’s smile is still lingering on his face, and it steals Regulus’s breath away. He looks back to Harry as his cheeks start to heat.
Harry is looking at him curiously, like he’s trying to figure something out. Regulus just raises an eyebrow at him. Harry suddenly gasps.
“That’s so cool!! How do you do that?” He asks excitedly, smiling brightly at Regulus.
“Uh- do what?” Regulus asks, utterly lost. He glances at his brother for help but Sirius seems just as confused as he is.
“Make your eyebrow go up and down!” He exclaimed, looking expectantly at Regulus.
“Oh, uh- well you just try to raise one of them. Some people can only make both of them go up. I don’t really-” But Harry is already trying, pushing his eyebrows up as far as they will go, making his forehead crinkle. Regulus has to try very hard not to laugh.
He looks at James to see him also holding in laughter. Harry turns to his father, his eyebrows still as high as they can go and says, “Dad, am I doing it?!”
Sirius barks out a laugh but quickly hides it in a cough as Harry waits for James to answer. He looks so lost as he says, “Yes you are, oh my goodness Harry! You’d better be careful doing that for too long because your face could freeze that way.”
Harry drops his eyebrows and turns to Regulus. “Is that true Regi-lis?” He asks, horrifically mispronouncing his name.
Regulus glances at James and sees his pleading eyes and decides to take pity on him. “Yes. My mother had her face frozen that way. She looks awful.”
Sirius snorts and mutters something that sounds an awful lot like “old bitch,” and Harry giggles. Remus comes back down the stairs and Harry turns, running up to him and jumping into his arms as Remus reaches down to pick him up. James chuckles at his son’s antics.
“Sirius, I think Moony could possibly be Harry’s favourite Uncle.” He says, and Sirius grumbles, but Regulus watches as his eyes soften at Remus and Harry. He thinks his brother doesn’t mind so much.
It makes for a bit of an awkward moment, seeing how in love Sirius is with Remus. He’d always suspected in school, and he sure as hell didn’t have a problem with it seeing as he was gay himself, and all he wanted was for Sirius to be happy. Still, it is an odd feeling to see two people so in love and be reminded that you have no one like that for yourself.
He feels his eyes wandering to James in that moment, as they always have. Except when he looks, James is already staring at him, longing in his eyes. It makes Regulus’s cheeks heat, and his heart beat faster. He’s not stupid enough to fall back into those patterns, he can’t be. Still, it’s impossible not to hope, just like it’s always been.
Regulus quickly looks away, reminding himself just how dangerous hope really is. Remus and Harry rejoin the group, and Regulus resolutely stares out the window as conversations continue around him. It begins to snow, the white flakes whirring through the dark night sky.
He’s ripped from his thoughts when James yawns loudly and reminds Harry that it’s time for bed. Harry pouts, but James is firm. He lets his son say his goodbyes, giving Sirius and Remus each a long hug and running up to Regulus. “Bye Reggie,” He says, grinning widely and showing off his missing teeth.
“Goodbye Harry,” He responds, smiling back. When he looks up James is looking at him, purpose in his gaze.
He steps closer and Regulus sucks in a quiet breath.
“It was nice to see you again Regulus,” He says, eyes shining with warmth. Regulus tries so hard not to fall back into it, into him, but a part of him knows it’s useless. Perhaps coming to visit Sirius was a terrible decision after all.
“It was nice to see you too,” He whispers, powerless to stop himself. James grins, that same grin from when they were kids, and Regulus knows then and there that he’s fucked. James Potter has held his heart in his hands since Regulus was twelve, and he knows he’ll never get it back.
_______________________________________________________
James
Once Harry is in bed, James pours himself a drink and sits on his couch, staring out the window at the snowflakes falling gently. He feels a sense of premonition, and he knows a change is coming. He has a sneaking suspicion it has something to do with one Regulus Black.
As the snowflakes whizz past, he’s reminded of what he was wishing for just hours ago, looking at the photos of Harry in the snow, and feeling that sense of family. Maybe by the time this Christmas comes to pass James will have someone to share his family with after all.