chapter 5
Regulus knocked on Sirius’ door, moments after panicking if James and Peter were home, he then decided, that Barty and Evan’s future relationship was more important than whatever social anxiety he had going on.
The door swung open a moment later, and Peter Pettigrew answered, dressed in plaid pyjama pants a blue hoodie. “Oh-“
“Oi, Pete, who is it?” Sirius called from inside.
“Me!” Regulus called back, before dragging his eyes over Peter.
“Hello,” he said to Peter.
Peter grinned sheepishly. “Hiya Regulus, how you doing?”
“Shit, Pete, let the poor man in,” Sirius said appearing behind him.
Peter immediately stepped out of the way. “I was going to- impatient git.”
Sirius smacked the back of Peter’s head before he disappeared into the kitchen. Sirius turned to his brother. “You alright?”
Regulus nodded, taking a breath. “I need advice.”
A smile stretched across Sirius’ features. “Look no further,” he said dramatically, leading Regulus into the kitchen.
The kitchen was joined to the living room, an open plan apartment, much similar to Regulus’ own one, but larger considering this one housed three grown men. Peter and James were sprawled in the living room, Peter on the sofa, and James on the floor, a brown acoustic guitar on his lap. He looked up as Sirius and Regulus entered.
“How’re the ducks doing?” He called.
“Swimmingly,” Regulus replied quickly, his heart racing with annoyance. If James Potter thought he could be smart, he had another thing coming.
“You want food? Or a beer? Something?” Sirius offered.
“I ate already, thanks,” Regulus said, ignoring how James stood up and walked into the kitchen, rustling in the press for something. “I’ll have a cup of tea, though,” he decided.
James snorted. “Posh one, aren’t we?” He said as he passed Regulus, and honestly, it was quite unfair how tall this man was, Regulus barely passed his shoulder.
Regulus eyed the man up and down, from his Lightning McQueen socks, to the red plaid pyjama pants and hoodie, right up to his crooked glasses and messy hair. He really couldn’t help the look of distaste that etched into his features.
James stared back, a challenge in his eyes.
Sirius huffed, flicking Regulus in the nose, and James on the forehead. “Stop this. It’s weird. Regulus, make yourself some tea.”
Regulus scowled at James. “But I don’t know where you keep your teabags or anything!”
Sirius rolled his eyes, sinking into the other sofa. “James, make him tea.”
“Of course, darling,” James said, blowing him a kiss from the other side of the room, before turning back to Regulus, filling up the kettle. “You know, I don’t like tea much,” James said, leaning against the counter.
Regulus stood at the other counter, raising an eyebrow, unamused.
“Can never get it to taste right, one spoon of sugar isn’t enough, and two spoons is too much, and then it’s too milky-“
“-I don’t remember asking,” Regulus drawled.
James smirked. “My sincerest apologies, am I boring you?”
“Very much so,” Regulus replied, regretting asking for tea.
“Suppose you’ll have to put up with it, I do live here, darling-“
“-which is exactly why I can’t wait for Sirius to move in with Remus one day.”
James’ jaw dropped a little as he picked a cup from the cupboard, one with a little monster painted on it. “You haven’t even met Remus!”
“Can’t be worse than you,” Regulus snorted, crossing his arms.
James chewed his lip, filling up the cup. “I really don’t see your problem here.”
“Glasses of yours clearly aren’t working then, are they, darling?” He smirked, mimicking his previous words.
James passed the cup to Regulus, along with a spoon, sugar pot and a jug of milk. “My glasses work well enough to see your permanent scowl on your face-“
“-not permanent- to you, perhaps, but a blind man could see that, Potter.”
James was glaring down at Regulus, just as Regulus was glaring up at James, a challenge in both of their eyes.
“Oi! Did you make my brother his tea yet or not?” Sirius demanded.
“He couldn’t even put in milk or sugar!” Regulus called back, keeping James’ glare, before smirking and turning to sit with his brother, teacup in hand.
He sat into the sofa beside Sirius, James taking his place back on the floor, though he didn’t pick up the guitar again. Regulus watched Sirius for a moment.
“Um so-“
“If this is going to be an incredibly awkward sex talk please, please, please, change the subject-“ Sirius said.
Regulus scowled. “What?! No! Plus, I bet im way more experienced than y-“
“Lalalalalala!” Sirius said, covering his ears as Peter snorted a laugh.
“Okay okay, it’s- um, well, was it awkward when you and Remus went from being such close friends to more?” He said, getting it out and over with. James’ interests were clearly peaked, because he sat up straight.
Sirius’ eyebrows knotted together. “Why? You got yourself a little crush, Reg?”
“Of course not, I don’t date, see I have this list- actually- this isn’t about me, im not getting into it- it’s.. you know Barty and Evan?”
Sirius nodded.
“They both are very clearly in love with each other, but- well I’m not certain about Barty, but Evan’s scared he’ll lose his best friend, and Barty, I’d bet money feels the same. But- they- they’d be so happy together, they just need help, you know?”
Sirius grinned. “Okay… I get it, but how do you think you can help?”
“That’s what I’m asking you. How’d you… you know, ask Remus?”
James snorted a laugh. “Please-“
“Yeah, him?” Peter laughed, nodding at Sirius.
“We had to do all the dirty work, it was crazy, and poor Remus, oh the poor crater-“ James laughed at the memory.
Peter laughed too. “They were bloody hopeless!”
Regulus turned to the two. “Really?”
Peter nodded. “It was horrendous. Don’t put homoerotic friendship on your bucket list any time soon.”
James burst out laughing, his eyes crinkling, glasses slipping down his nose ever so slightly. “Want a laugh?” He asked Regulus, who nodded. “Since we were sixteen, they shared a bed in school, me and Pete used to walk in on them snuggling and napping at random parts of the day-“
“What?!” Regulus cried, turning to his brother. “How the fuck did it take so long?!”
Peter sighed. “Oh, that’s what we all wanted to know.”
Regulus spluttered. “How- Sirius- that’s so gay-“
“Ah-“ James held his finger up, “wise words of dearest Sirius Black, ‘James I swear it wasn’t gay because we used different blankets!’”
Regulus’ jaw dropped. “What?! That’s- you’re unbelievable! How did I not know this?!”
“Regulus, if you ever, and I mean, ever, need embarrassing Sirius stories, please, never hesitate to call me,” Peter said, as James laughed, nodding in agreement.
“Wait- so how did you two finally get together?”
“Which time?” James rolled his eyes, all three of them ignoring Sirius’ stutters if protest.
“There was more than one time?!” Regulus cried.
James sat up again. “Um, yes! Remus’ sixteenth, graduation day, my eighteenth, Pete’s mum and stepdad’s wedding, and- oh yeah, then that one Thursday that they haven’t looked back on.” He counter them on his fingers.
“Oh!” Regulus gasped. “O actually remember the first time you got together! Remember he gave you that sweater and you slept with it for like a month and it absolutely reeked because you didn’t wash it because it smelt like him or some weird shit? Oh! Oh my god, Sirius, remember he sent you a picture of a broken piggy bank with all these crusty coins and was like “let me take you out” as you fucking sat in your four poster bed in a mansion-“
“Shut the fuck up, oh my god!” Sirius yelped, covering his brother’s mouth. James and Peter were practically dying of laughter.
Regulus licked Sirius’ hand that uncomfortably covered his mouth.
“Ewugh! You’re disgusting!” Sirius gagged, pulling his hand away.
Regulus shrugged. “Seriously, though?That many times? That’s insane.”
“Love is complicated-“ Sirius began.
“On your friends important days too, how could you?” Regulus scolded.
“Alright, you little shit-“
Regulus couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of his mouth. Sirius stopped whatever the fuck he was going to say and grinned.
“Look, okay, as much as I’d love to embarrass the fuck out of you, Siri, I do really need to help Barty and Evan, so… what would you have needed when you were sixteen, or eighteen or whatever age to give you that- nudge, I guess?”
“Alright, I’d say you need to talk to them separately. Drop hints that the other was talking about them. Be obvious about it, but also don’t reveal too much, that’s part of their own fun. Do that for a couple days,” Sirius said, thinking.
“Broom closet,” Peter said, raising his beer bottle, who James clinked his own with, muttering an “amen”.
“Huh?”
“We had to lock Rem and Sirius in a broom closet to snog, shag and shit sort,” James elaborated.
“Oh god-“
“Yeah, avoid that one. It’s probably better to keep dropping hints, get Pandora and Dorcas to do the same, then they’ll really think on it. And- if in two weeks, they’re not together, they can get pissed at Halloween and snog to their hearts content.”
Regulus nodded. “Okay, that’s not a bad idea, actually.”
Sirius ruffled his hair. “You’ve got to keep me updated now, I’m invested.”
Regulus grinned. “Will do. Thanks,” he said, cringing at the shyness in his voice. He couldn’t help the yawn that came next. Jesus, he was tired. He checked his watch for the time. How was it half eleven in the night already?
“Look, I’d better go catch the bus- all the night freaks’ll be on it soon so-“
“Nonsense, you can crash here for tonight if you want,” Sirius said, his eyes kind.
Regulus hesitated. “Are you sure?” He could like to, he’d hate to intrude though.
“Course. You can sleep in my room, I’ll crash with Jamsie over here, it’s no problem.”
Regulus smiled. “Right- um- thank you-“
“Pfft- no problem. Come on, I’ll show you where it is,” he followed Sirius over to the door and into Sirius’ bedroom, it’s what to be expected, messy clothes around the floor, many hair products on the chested drawers, posters of his favourite bands on the walls. They stood in the doorway. Regulus felt a surge of gratitude for his older brother, not for the first time in the past few weeks. He knocked their shoulders together gently, hoping Sirius understood his thanks. He seemed to, because he did the same, grinning, before tossing him a tshirt and sweatpants from his wardrobe.
“I’ll let you sleep.” Sirius ruffled his hair again. “Goodnight.”
“Night,” he replied, and before his pettiness took over him, he called out to the living room. “Night, Peter!”
He heard Peter laugh. “Night!”
Regulus slipped into his brother’s clothes and plonked onto the bed, texting Pandora to let her know she wouldn’t be home.
Tomorrow, he’d meet with Pandora and Dorcas.
They had match making to do.
~*~*~*~*
Pandora awoke the next morning, thankful she didn’t have to work today, and looking forward to hanging out with Dorcas and Regulus. Regulus was still at Sirius’ house, and Pandora couldn’t help but smile when she got the text to say he might be a little later, he’s having breakfast with Sirius.
So when Dorcas arrived at the door, they both happily made themselves comfortable on the couch.
“When will Reg be here?” Dorcas asked.
Pandora thought about it for a moment, considering the bus ride and how long Regulus usually stays to hang with Sirius. “About an hour! Hour and a half?”
Dorcas nodded, twisting the gold rings on her fingers. “Okay, Pansie, promise you won’t tell the guys what I’m about to tell you? Not yet anyway. This is girl secret.”
Pandora couldn’t help but grin, squeezing the cushion on her lap. “Promise.”
Dorcas grinned. “Alright. So- i- ah! I might be talking to somebody!”
“Talking as in talking-talking?” Pandora smirked, her heart fluttering that Dorcas trusted her with this.
Dorcas nodded. “Ugh! But it’s- okay, in school, I fucking hated her guts- she was like, biggest enemy ever when I was like sixteen, but now? Holy fuck.”
Pandora laughed. “Well go on, give me details, give me the who, when, where, and how!”
Dorcas was smiling fondly. “Fucking Marlene McKinnon- remember that smudgy eyeliner-wannabe-Lindsey Lohan- in-Freaky Friday?”
Pandora laughed. “That is a perfect description of how I remember her.”
“Well, turns out, she’s twenty three now and exactly my type. She’s- holy fuck. I met her-“ Dorcas covered her mouth to stifle a giggle, a blush creeping into her clear skin. Pandora laughed surprised, nothing- absolutely nothing flustered the brilliant Dorcas Meadowes.
Pandora leapt over to squeeze her friend. “This is so cute, I love this for you!”
Dorcas hugged her right back. “See! This! This. This is exactly why I knew to tell you and not the guys- imagine how they’d react if they knew I was fucking giggling over- imagine how sixteen year old me would react to me giggling over Marlene McKinnon!”
Pandora smiled. “Hush, forget about them and giggle to your hearts content.”
Dorcas grinned. “I met her at a record shop where she works, she was tuning this electric guitar and I went to buy this Stevie Nicks record, and oh my days, she was so flustered! She was stuttering that she remembered me and was surprised I had good music taste and it was such good banter! I- I couldn’t help but go back everyday for a week! I kept saying I was trying to get you guys into Fleetwood Mac,” she said, cringing.
Pandora gasped. “I’m the one who introduced you!”
“I know! I know!” She held Pandora’s hands. “I have never been more grateful. Eventually, I asked her for her number and we’ve been texting for like- ah! A month now!”
“A month?!”
Dorcas nodded.
Pandora remembered what Mary MacDonald had said about Marlene’s Saturday parties. “Did you meet up at all?”
“Just one time, last week, I wanted to tell you so bad! I hung out with her and her friends, Mary- who apparently you know? And this angel of a girl Lily, and they said you’ve got o come with us next time we go out! They’re so lovely, and- ah! I think I might ask Marlene out!”
Pandora was struggling to keep up with her words ever since Lily’s name was mentioned. She was quite pathetic, wasn’t she?
“Oh- yes, I’ve met Mary- she was there the day if Reggie and Sirius so, but- oh my god? You need to ask her out, Cas!!”
Dorcas smirked. “Oh I plan on, she’s definitely going to say yes, as well, it’s pretty obvious she likes me, so, yeah I’ve got the back bone to ask her out.”
Pandora grinned. “This is so exciting.”
“I know! Speaking of which… have you got any stories?”
Pandora sighed, lying back, resting her head on Dorcas’s lap, staring up at her. “Quite a big, helpless crush.”
“Really? Do I know them?”
“Apparently so. Cas, I’ve only met the girl twice!”
Dorcas sucked in a breath. “Uh oh. Who is she?”
Pandora closed her eyes. “Lily Evan’s.”
“No way.”
Pandora hummed a response. “I suppose you don’t know if she’s got anything going on with James Potter, do you?”
“Hm, I don’t know, we didn’t really get to it- why, do you think they’re…?”
“They were linking arms in the cafe.”
“Oh.”
“Yup.”
Dorcas rubbed her arm. “Well, I guess you and Reg could just get together then, bond over heartbreak.”
Pandora snorted. “He should be here soon, anyways, Reggie…” Pandora said, wanting her mind to drift away from the pretty red haired girl.
As if he had heard them, Regulus came in through the door, one of Sirius’ jumpers hanging loosely over his slight frame. He grinned at his two friends. “Sorry I took so long- Sirius’ roommate is the most annoying motherfucker to ever exist-“
“You mean James Potter?” Dorcas said, raising an eyebrow at Pandora.
Regulus scowled, and Pandora nodded at Dorcas. That was how it was.
“Ah,” Dorcas said, nodding. “Not the man he was at fifteen, no?”
Regulus took a seat in the sitting room, curling up on the sofa, nibbling on a biscuit. “Fuck no. Smug arsehole- he thinks he’s better than me,” he quipped.
Pandora sat up as Dorcas feigned a gasp. “How dare he.”
Regulus rolled his eyes. “He does, you know, and it’s infuriating.” He grumbled something under his breath, before finishing his biscuit and sitting up more comfortably.
“As much as I love expressing my hate for my brother’s friend, there is a reason o wanted to see you both,” he said.
“Am I in trouble? I feel like I’m getting scolded,” Pandora said. Dorcas snorted.
“Look, okay, shut up- firstly,” Regulus smiled. “Next, Barty and Evan don’t know I’m doing this so, keep quiet. But- has Barty said… anything to you guys about- you know, the very obvious feelings? Between them?”
Pandora stared at her best friend. Then, a moment later, the penny dropped, and she gasped. “Holy fuck! You know too!”
“Well- it’s obvious they both love each other,” Dorcas scoffed.
Regulus turned to Pandora. “What did you hear?”
Pandora was giddy. Oh she so was so glad they were finally speaking about this. “Barty’s been pining over Ev for the past five years-“
“What?!” Dorcas and Regulus cried. “He’s aware?!”
Pandora nodded. “He didn’t dare say anything though, you know how Evan is about staying single until he’s at least thirty five-“
Regulus smacked his forehead. “I cannot believe this! He knew? Evan’s bloody liked him since school- he’s the reason he doesn’t date! Until- well, yesterday,” Regulus explained what happened with the two yesterday and how they should’ve kissed.
Pandora couldn’t help her excitement. This would work! They could both be so so happy!
“I cannot believe them. They’re such fools!” Dorcas said laughing.
Pandora and Regulus were grinning too.
“So they’re both oblivious as fuck, do we have a plan?” Dorcas asked. Pandora turned to Regulus too.
“We all just need to drop hints to them, telling them the other likes them when we’re alone with one of them.”
Pandora nodded. “Okay, yeah I can do that.”
Dorcas nodded along. “Yeah me too, if all three of us keep hinting for at least a couple of weeks, they’re bound to get it, right?”
Pandora nodded hopefully.
“That’s the plan,” Regulus sighed.