chapter 6
Okay, so Lily Evan’s may have been going a little bit insane. But, who wouldn’t in situations like these?
“James, you don’t get it. I promised myself I wouldn’t even think about dating until I’ve finished college, and get a steady career in law. I’ve got to be focused!” They were in Lily’s apartment.
“Well, they always say love comes when you least expect it-“
“Oh fuck off. I don’t believe in that soulmate bullshit. Just because you’re romantic as fuck, doesn’t mean I am. But she’s- she’s driving me nuts!”
You see, Lily was twenty two years old, and hadn’t spoken to her family since she was eighteen. She had a new family now; Remus, Mary, Marlene, James, and her friends. She was happy and content with the people who appreciated her. Lily’s parents had a more traditional view on life, they believed that, yes, of course Lily should have a steady career, but being a wife to a loving husband a children was priority. It was expected.
It was not expected, however, for the youngest Evans child to be a lesbian.
“Darling, this is majorly influenced by the internet, you know how… people like that are pushing it up in our faces online,” her mother couldn’t even say the word lesbian.
“You just haven’t met the right man, yet, sweetie, it’s normal to be confused, and very possibly bored without a boyfriend-“ her father “reassured” her.
She had put up with it since she was fifteen.
She drew the line when her parents decided match making with the neighbours son was a good idea.
Lily hoped at least that her sister Petunia, would agree. Support her, but Petunia snapped her farewell with sadness in her eyes as she awaited her own snobby boyfriend to come over for tea.
She really was quite the people pleaser.
Lily grew out of that a long time ago.
But now, here she was, pacing her apartment, thinking of nothing but the dreamy blonde girl from the cafe.
“Okay- first off, don’t insult the idea of soulmates, please, mine could be listening-“ James began, sitting on the counter. “Secondly, Lils, have some fun. When’s the last time you even snogged somebody?”
When Lily didn’t answer, James gestured to her. “Exactly. You deserve to have a bit of fun. Who says you can’t be successful and in love, huh?”
Lily groaned, dropping her head into her hands. “But there is quite literally no way she has any interest in me.”
James furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Why the fuck not?”
Lily laughed humourlessly. “I just know, James. When we talked- she’s so… interesting, she’s unlike any person I’ve ever met. She’s- it’s like she’s got her head up in the clouds but she so very observant, and she uses strange metaphors when she speaks, it’s so endearing! And, oh, James, the way she laughs is just- perfection.”
James was grinning. “You have to take a leap, Lily. Look at you, you’re starstruck. How often does this happen?” He smiled warmly. “I’m telling you, Evans, just- what’s the worst that can happen?”
Lily couldn’t help but imagine if she did end up kissing Pandora. She’d probably taste delightful, whatever flavour that shimmery lipgloss she was wearing. And if they went further, would she say yes to a date? Oh, she liked that idea very much.
“But how do I even initiate anything?” She groaned, feeling hopeless.
“She has your number, text, start conversations, be flirty, because Evans, we’ve all seen you on a night out, you can be charming when you want to be. Plus, we’ve Halloween coming up. Snog her then, perfect plan.”
Lily chewed her lip. “I’ll try it.”
“Damn right you will.”
Lily grinned back at him. It was funny to think how James spent his teenage years begging for her to go out with him, and here he sat giving her lesbian love advice.
James checked his watch. “Shit, I should get home, Pete and I are going to the cinema. Tell me how the flirting goes though, yeah?”
Lily nodded, thankful to have that weight lifted slightly off her shoulders.
When James left, Lily sighed, turning on the record player, Taylor Swift distantly singing in the background as she leaned into the mirror.
Realistically, Lily knew damn well she could flirt. Not to be arrogant, but to be confident, she knew she was attractive, she had auburn hair that was long and bouncy in layers, tumbling over her freckled shoulders, her face was lightly freckled, her eyes were bright green and wide, and her lips were full and red. She’d attracted boys and girls and anybody in between in her teen years, not only because of her looks, but because of her wit and personality too. She knew this, but she didn’t know why her stomach was so nervously fluttery at the sight of Pandora. So, realistically speaking, Lily knew she could ask her out and the chances that she’d say yes were quite high. But that’s why Lily stopped with the whole dating and flings thing. After an embarrassingly long time of hooking up with boys, girls, then boys again to cover her denial, she’s finally accepted that she’s a lesbian.
She’s proud of it now too, thanks to her friends.
It took time for her to be proud and happy, but she’s here now. So instead, Lily channelled this confidence into her studies, making a future for herself. Once she’s happy in her career in a couple of years, then she may want a relationship, or she may not. If it’s meant to be, then it will be, that was always her motto.
But Pandora Rosier has ruined that plan.
With her glowing sallow skin and blonde hair, and dimpled smile, she’s crashed everything so gracefully, Lily can’t even be upset.
Although Lily has only met the girl twice, she’d love nothing more than to hold her hand, take her to the movies, buy her flowers, kiss her full pink lips, kiss that cheeky dimpled smile right off her face. She hasn’t felt like this is forever.
However, Lily wouldn’t act on this. Pandora was Regulus’s best friend. From two interactions, it’s clear how dear their friendship is, and with Sirius only now having a happy relationship with his brother, she’d hate to be the cause of tension between groups.
So, she would wait. And wait. Study, maybe take a break from studying to think about Pandora, but that would be all.
*~*~~*
Pandora and Dorcas had spent the last couple of hours with arms full of shopping bags, casually making their way through every shop in London, scrounging for a Halloween costume for next weekend. Dorcas wanted to impress Marlene, and Pandora wanted to make Lily’s head turn. In the end, they lasted with two pretty dresses and new shoes for Princess Tiana and Aurora. Dorcas even bought three frog costumes for Regulus, Barty and Evan.
Yes, she would force them to wear it.
No, they would not have a say.
Pandora loved spending time with Dorcas, truly she did. It was different to spending time with Regulus. With Dorcas, she could have so much free fun. Of course, she could with her other friends too, but with Dorcas, they laughed, gossiped, giggled, their conversations could easily switch to careless giggles to something deep.
Dorcas was just such an easy person to be around once you got to know her.
They were sat at a restaurant, happily eating toasted sandwiches.
“Oh, i meant to ask, you met James Potter at the cafe, didn’t you?”
“Uh, yeah, briefly. Why?” Pandora asked.
Dorcas furrowed her brows. “Reg has been talking- he seems to really get on his nerves. Usually I’d think he’s got a little crush, but he seems livid at the mere mention of him. It’s just-“ Dorcas trailed off.
Pandora thought for a moment. “Hm, yeah i thought so too. The first night, we stalked his instagram and he definitely thought he was hot, but… yeah, you’d think the man had personally wronged and insulted him with the way he speaks. I don’t know,”
“I hope he’s not jealous that he’s the one Sirius went to when he was young. Obviously, i understand if he is… it’s just, it’s a lot for him to weigh him down you know? O hope he’d tell one of us if that is the case.”
Pandora nodded. “I think he would. Or at least, he will when he’s ready. I wonder what James thinks of him, they’ve met a couple times, haven’t they?”
Dorcas nodded. “Halloween should be hilarious anyway,”
~•~••~•
James was beginning to get tired of seeing this little prick in his kitchen, drinking out of his mug.
It was a Tuesday evening, he’d just gotten back from a college lecture, he had an essay to complete, and this little arsehole was here to distract him.
“Oh. You’re here again.”
Regulus smirked smugly. “Pleasure to see you too, Potter.”
James rolled his eyes. “Where’s Sirius?”
“He left to get milk, he’ll be back soon. Miss your boyfriend?”
James huffed out a humourless laugh. “Piss off.”
Regulus just smirked.
“Did you use up all our tea again?” He asked, biting the inside of his cheek when Regulus huffed exasperated.
“I did no such thing.”
James turned his back to him, reaching into the press to make a hot coco. “Are you coming to Halloween?”
“Yup. Suppose you’ll be there too?”
“Yup,” James said, leaning on the counter opposite to where Regulus sat. James grinned, a challenge in his eyes.
Regulus’ lips pressed into a straight line. “Shame.”
James flipped him off before turning into what was supposedly his room. He appeared two minutes later, changed out of his jeans into sweatpants and a hoodie, a laptops and pages under his arm. He flopped onto the sofa, opening up the laptop before groaning.
He heard Regulus snort from the kitchen. He whipped his head around. “What’re laughing at?”
Regulus held up his hands in mock surrender. “Nothing, nothing.”
James raised his eyebrows. “I have so much work to do, this isn’t funny.”
Regulus rolled his eyes. “Please, don’t flatter yourself, you’re never funny. I was laughing at something Dorcas sent me.”
James chewed his lip. “Well, stop, it’s distracting.”
“You have the attention span of a hamster on coke,” Regulus said flatly, moving to the armchair in the living room.
James couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of him. “Shut up.”
Regulus raised an eyebrow. “What do you even study anyway?”
“Oh so now you’re interested in me?”
Regulus scowled. “Oh god no, I’m surprised somebody with an IQ in the minus numbers could get into a college, it’s extraordinary,” he deadpanned.
“Oh ha ha, you’re very clever, aren’t you?”
Regulus shrugged.
“For your information,” James said, enunciating the word ‘information’, “I’ve got an essay to write, and I’m studying to he a social worker.”
James watched Regulus’ eyebrows raised slightly, but softly. “Oh, that’s- that’s kind of unexpected.”
“Really?”
“Hm, i expected you to be one of those dumbasses who wants to be the next Ronaldo or something.”
James rolled his eyes, but he wasn’t annoyed. “Nah, I would be way better than Ronaldo.”
Regulus shook his head.
“Sirius says you’re going to college in the autumn, what are you gonna do?”
Regulus took a sup from the tea. “Veterinary science. I’m going to be a vet.”
“Oh,” James furrowed his eyebrows. He didn’t take Regulus as the one to care so deeply for animals. “You plan on rescuing all the ducks?”
Regulus narrowed his eyes. “They’re Evan’s ducks, not mine, Potter, piss off. Plus, if the ducks need rescuing, that’s not my job. My job is to help them medically.”
James grinned. Although he was pissed at James for teasing him, it looked as though Regulus was enjoying talking about this. He could almost see the spark of passion in his eyes. James enjoyed this. Well, whatever this was. He liked that Regulus wasn’t afraid to snap at him or offend him. Everybody seemed to think James was too sensitive or took soft, or at least that’s what they seemed to think- not Regulus though, he just kept insulting him. And James found it oh so endearing.
“Awful difficult to get into vet school, ain’t it? All sciency, yeah?” James pondered.
Regulus rolled his eyes, huffing. “It’s scientific, yes. But only difficult to get in if you don’t try. I could say the same for you, difficult to be a social worker- not if you have the passion,” he quipped, eyebrows raised.
James couldn’t help the smile on his face. He liked that perspective. “You know, i like that.”
“What, the truth?” Regulus rolled his eyes.
Oh James liked that even more.
“You must get a lot of headaches,” James commented.
“Huh?”
“You roll your eyes a lot, must hurt your head.”
“You hurt my head-“ he said just as Sirius entered the room, carrying a small shopping bag.
“Oi, stop bullying my James,” he said, tossing James a packet of biscuits.
“Did you get me biscuits because your brother’s a bitch?” James asked, and naturally, Regulus rolled his eyes again.
Sirius nodded. “Yup, and you get-“ he turned to Sirius, tossing him a head of lettuce. “yucky green healthy stuff.”
Regulus shook his head, but a grin was playing on his lips, tossing the lettuce back at Sirius.
“Got any plans for the weekend?” He asked his older brother.
Sirius smiled. “Going to Rem’s this weekend.”
~*~*~*
Sirius Black loved a lot of things. He loved music; Bowie, Queen, the 1975, Led Zeppelin, Green Day, Joan Jett, and lots more. He loved his leather jacket. He loved his motorbike. Loved finding characters in films or television shows that reminded him of his friends, he loved his friends, loved the colour red, but his favourite colour was warm amber brown, he adored woolly jumpers in muted colours of browns, reds, and greens, he really liked the smell of his jumpers, he liked stealing them too. He loved movie nights with Peter and James, he really enjoyed his talks with Regulus, their amusing quipped arguments, that were actually harmless, he loved being a brother, he loved watching out for the people he loved. He took pride in making the people he loved happy and safe. He loved gemstoning lighters with Mary, loved painting his nails with Lily, and borrowing Marlene’s hair straightener. He loved that he could talk to James about almost anything, and he loved that whenever he needed a good laugh, he just needed to ask Pete for a stupid story.
Most of all, though, Sirius loved his Moony.
Remus Lupin was the living argument to the statement “nobody’s perfect” with a figure sculpted so intricately like a Renaissance piece of art, long slim fingers that so gently turned the pages of his yellowed, spine-cracked novels, wrists thin and bony that poked out underneath a warm cosy jumper, a jumper which was his second choice, as the one he wanted was hanging off Sirius, sandy brown curls resting on his handsome tanned face, over his soft amber brown eyes. His tall frame, and slight limp when it was cold outside, it was all perfect. His soft voice, and slight Welsh accent he still hadn’t grown completely out of, and the way he cursed like a bloody sailor. Sirius could watch him all day, and get tired. He’d never bore of the way his lips moved when he spoke, how he nodded his head along to a song on the record player, the way the veins in his hands flexed as he annotated the corners of his books in inky black pen, the line between his eyebrows when he was mad, how he quickly licked his lips when he was cursing too much, how his lips turned down when he was focused. He’d never bore of such beauty.
Sirius considered himself the luckiest man in the damn world. It had taken him long enough to get Remus Lupin all to himself, and he sure as hell would never ever let him go. He was too damn stubborn for that.
So Sirius stopped on the way to pick up yet another house plant on the way to see Remus, it was basically tradition at this point, to bring Remus one.
And when Sirius let himself into Remus’ flat, he set the plant on the counter, looking at all the other ones in the room, the open living practically a jungle of leaves and roots of Sirius and Remus’ love.
“Honey, im home!” Sirius called grinning, and sure enough, Remus poked his head out from the living room, grinning as he walked over to Sirius.
“Hello,” he smiled, kissing his nose before turning to the plant. “Ooh, nice choice. What are we calling this one?” Remus asked, picking up the little cactus.
Sirius furrowed his brow in thought, leaning into Remus’ side, it was instinct at this point, he couldn’t help but be gravitated toward Remus. “Hmmm…. Kinda looks like a Bartholomew.”
Remus snorted and looked down at Sirius. “Bart for short.”
Sirius nodded, smirking. “Exactly.”
Remus brought Bartholomew into the living room, placing him upon the second top shelf on the bookshelf. Sirius had draped his leather jacket over the arm of the sofa, making himself comfortable on the couch, picking up the book on the coffee table, flipped over the cover to read the blurb. “Any good?” He asked as Remus sat next to him, moving him arm to let Sirius in.
“Yeah, actually, really well written.”
Sirius hummed in acknowledgement before flicking it open to read it. Sirius, to be fair sometimes read Remus’ books, but he always- always, read Remus’ annotations. Whether they were commenting how beautifully poetic something was in an old classic of poetry book, or how fucking cliche or cringey something was in one of Lily’s romance books, Sirius read them all. He liked that he was able to read the exact thoughts that went through his boyfriend’s mind. Sometimes, he’d even add onto the thoughts, blindly agreeing with him.
They spent a while in comfortable silence, each to their own respective devices. Sirius was surprised how much he loved this silence. He grew up in a dead silent house, eerily quiet except for the harsh ticking of the old grandfather clock in the hallway, he had thought for so long that silence was an awful thing that he felt the need to fill, but Remus changed that.
The silence with Remus was already full with all the safety Remus had to offer him.
After a while, Sirius closed the book. “Wanna hear a secret?” He asked.
“Always.”
“I think James might fancy Reg,” saying it aloud for the first time made his nose crinkle.
“Really?!” Remus said, surprised.
Sirius nodded, looking at him. “Get the picture in your head, Reg is short and angry, and insults James at any given minute-“
A look of recognition passed over Remus’ face. “Oh god, and James is stupid and smiley about it, isn’t he?”
Sirius nodded. “Yup.”
Remus’ lips turned up in a half grin. “How’d you feel about it?”
Sirius shrugged. “Dunno, really, that’ll definitely change if something happens though. Think I’d be fine if they keep it PG.”
Remus snorted. “James Potter? Keeping it PG with a mean person?”
Sirius cringed. “On second thoughts, that’s gross, and they’re never to see each other again.”
Remus laughed. “D’you reckon Regulus likes James?”
Sirius thought for a moment, though he had thought about it already. “Not sure, i mean, he definitely liked him in school, remember his diary?” He snorted a laugh at the memory of them all reading through Regulus’ diary when they were fourteen, cackling at little Regulus wrote about his crush, though Regulus still had no idea they all knew. Sirius realised now that just be humiliating. “But now he’s very adamant on staying single. Says he’s happy on his own with his friends.”
Remus nodded. “Well, that’s fair, i suppose. At least he’s got his priorities.”
Sirius winced. “James didn’t exactly respect Lily’s priorities back in school though, did he?”
Remus nodded. “That’s also fair… id like to give our Prongsie the benefit of the doubt and hope he’s matured since then… if not, im sure Regulus wouldn’t hesitate to hurt him if he tried anything.”
Sirius nodded. “Oh yeah, Reg for sure would.”
Remus spoke some more about how Lily was out for the night with the girls, along with two of Regulus’ friends, Pandora and Dorcas, who they’ve become fond of lately.
Sirius and Remus were in the kitchen, Sirius cutting vegetables for dinner as Remus combined a sauce.
“Slow down!” Remus hissed, poking Sirius in the side whenever he was chopping too quickly or carelessly.
“Oh, and y’know at Halloween?” Sirius said.
“Mm?”
“Reg said their whole friend group is using that day to get two of their best mates together. Pete told him to lock them in a broom closet.”
Remus laughed. “Oh god, not the broom closet,” he said, ears turning slightly red. “Everybody’s gonna be match making then, because Lils told me Marlene’s got her eye on Meadowes, and i can tell by Lily she wants something fun-“
“What?! And now James is definitely going to swoop in and steal my Reggie!” Sirius cried in realisation.
Remus whistled. “Halloween is gonna be messy.”
“Wait how come most of our friends want one of Regulus’ friends?” Sirius pouted.
“Not most, to be fair. Just Marlene and apparently James,” he said, grinning slightly as Sirius’ nose crinkled. “You said yourself there’s already a couple in his group that just need to get together.”
Sirius hummed in acknowledgement. “Poor James, he’s gonna be crushed. Reg has this whole list about why he’s not dating and why it’s a bad idea.”
“Really?” Remus asked, eyebrows raised.
“Yeah, he went on about it for at least an hour and a half- just when i asked him if he was seeing anybody.”
Remus nodded slowly. “It’s funny, by what you tell me, you guys seem really alike sometimes, and then like you couldn’t be more different to him the next minute.”
“Oh. Why’d you say that?”
Remus adjusted the temperature of the stove, turning around and leaning on the counter to face Sirius. “All i mean is that- you know, you both grew up in the same place but it had a very different effect on both of you. Not that there’s a wrong or right way to be, y’know? Just… like with what you said about Regulus; this long list about why he’s not going to date- probably has to do with the fact your parents weren’t very happy, is it?”
Sirius nodded.
“Well, that’s valid. Whereas, I don’t know, you just seem a lot more open, y’know? Like, spontaneous? I guess? I dunno if that even makes sense.”
Sirius was smiling. “Yeah, it makes sense.”
Remus grinned back, bringing his hand up to brush a strand of Sirius’ silky black hair behind his ear before turning to the sink full of dishes. “Alright, grab the tea towel.”
~*~*~*~
Pandora felt ecstatic. High on the thrill of being with Lily all day. She was delighted that the other girls seemed to enjoy her presence. She loved Lily’s outfit too, everything about her seemed to just get cooler, with her cute short dress over fitted flared jeans, and little brown boots, she looked effortlessly stunning. They’d hung around Mary’s place for a while, then went shopping, just browsing the shopping centre, really.
Halloween weekend was rolling in quickly though, and Pandora was an excited mess of giggles and nerves. She liked having Dorcas to talk about this to- with her fancying Marlene, their conversations were nothing short of boring.
She got home from her shift at the cafe to find Regulus sitting at the kitchen counter. “Hey,” Regulus said, smiling as she came in.
“Hello, what’d you get up to all day?”
Regulus shrugged. “I went to Sirius’, but then left ‘cos Potter was being a knob.”
“Again? What excuse did you use to leave this time?”
“None. Potter called me a snob so I called him a dickhead and left. Arsehole.”
Pandora sighed. “He really that bad?”
Regulus shrugged, Pandora took this as it wasn’t up for debate. “How’s Sirius then?”
“Good. He spent the weekend with Remus. Met him yesterday, he’s nice. Sirius is thinking on asking him to move in together, he doesn’t know the details of it yet, ‘cos they both have roommates, but he said he’s gonna put the offer on the table.”
“Wow! Aw that’s so cute! Not like he can’t afford a new place too, didn’t Alphard leave him all that money?”
Regulus nodded. “Yeah, he’ll have no problem. About time they moved in together too.”
Pandora nodded. “I tried to talk to Barty about Evan today.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, I told him Evan was talking about him quite a lot, asked if anything happened. All o got was an “I wish” and a change of subject. Hopefully they’ll have more luck on Halloween.”
Regulus nodded. “Yeah, two days now. Excited?”
“Yeah, I am actually. The girls are all really nice, Dorcas and I have hung out with them a few times.”
“Oh that’s nice.”
Pandora hummed, before leaving into her bedroom to change for the night.