midnight talks (and hot chocolate)
Charlie pov:
After the small party, Harry and I went to our rooms. I was very busy admiring my boyfriend when he looked at me and caught met staring. I just winked and Harry blushed, looking down.
He got in bed and cuddled up to me, our faces mere inches apart. He looked happy, but also troubled. I knew pushing for answers would only make sure he didn't want to talk anymore, so I waited patiently until he was ready to talk.
After a few moments, Harry broke the silence. "Do you think it's wrong?" he asked.
"What's wrong, darlin'?" I asked, already knowing what he would answer.
"That I don't feel guilty. I mean, I just killed a man. And while he might have been an evil git, he was still a person." Harry said, looking at me with some kind of hidden pain in his eyes. "I just killed someone, and I don't even feel a little bit of guilt of sympathy for him. I feel more guilty about not feeling guilty than I feel when I think I just shot a man."
I just hummed, thinking about what I should say. But before I had the chance, Harry continued, his tone a bit desperate now.
"I don't want to turn into him, you know. I don't wanna be another Riddle. Did it have to go this way?" He asked, an edge of hysteria in his voice. "I know it had to, but really? Are you sure Dumbledore had the right plan? It's easy for him to say who has to be gone. He's just sitting happely in his nice house in London, while I'm here in the middle of fucking Manhattan, risking my freedom."
"The same freedom we are fighting for, darlin." I muttered, holding you closer. "I get that you are doubting, but we can't go back now. Well, it's not impossible, but we're doing what we believe in. And if you want, you could always not follow the words of Dumbledore. Hermione and Ron would follow you if you said it, and I'm pretty sure Draco would too."
Harry clung onto me, and I hugged him tightly in return. "I guess you're right." he murmered. "It's just going so fast."
I nodded. It was going fast. Too fast if you asked me. We would have to strike fast, we all knew that. But doing it still felt different.
After a few moments of tense silence, Harry suddenly looked at me, his bright green eyes shining. "Promise me you won't let me turn into him." He suddenly said.
"Okay." I answered but he shook his head.
"No, you don't understand. If I start showing any signs of becoming like him, not caring about other lifes, kill me."
That answer honestly shocked me. I looked at Harry, really looked at him and saw the determination in his eyes. But what I also saw, something way more important, was fear. Fear of becoming the monster he tried to fight, of not caring about other lifes.
"You know I can't do that. I love you." I whispered.
"If you love me, really love me, promise. Don't let me turn into something that isn't me."
I sighed but nodded my head. "If you ever stop caring, I'll do whatever I can to bring my Harry back." I said. "And if I'm not able to do that, I'll take the nesecary actions."
Harry smiled at me, the most beautiful, kind smile I had ever seen.
"Thank you." He said, before hugging me and closing his eyes.
I was thinking about how much of a lucky guy I was. Damn, if I knew what would have happened earlier, I definitely wouldn't have been so annoying about going to Ron's flat to visit him during break from Ivy League. I had never met such a beautifully, angry creature. I wouldn't have been here, fighting for something I had silently believed in for years, but was afraid to say too loud. But Harry, he was amazing. He didn't care about the opinions of others. He only cared about what he tought was right and wrong. And his anger, hatred for those big, rich people was something else. I understood why, even though at first I had thought it was too much. But then, we did the research, looking for the corruption in the higher people in government and big bussinesses. It was disgusting how much money went to people it shouldn't go, who didn't deserve it. I had learned about the value of hard work, everyone in our family had.
But I also thought about the words Harry just said. Were we really doing the right thing? Was it really a good thing that we ended someones life? I knew, rationally, that murder was wrong. Should we go to the streets and just protest? But so many people had done that before and it didn't work. We were having an impact.
But still, the doubt remained. I sighed. having a morality was hard. He didn't understand how some people did it, just not giving a fuck about anyone but themselves.
"What's the problem, Charles?" Harry asked, looking at me with tired eyes.
"Nothing to worry your head about, darlin. Just the problems that come with having a morality." I answered, softly petting his hair.
"Yeah, I understand. I'm having the same problems right now." He muttered.
I smiled and decided to check my phone and promptly burst out laughing. Damn, Harry would absolutely love this.
"What's so funny?" He asked, trying to grab my phone.
"Well, there is a lot of talking about you. There are three groups, people that support you, people that think you're wrong and." I had to stop because I got another fit of giggles. "And people that think your jawline looks damn hot."
Harry just gaped at me for a second before also joining the laughter. We were both giggling like idiots for a few minutes. And once we were done, we started reading the posts and comments and started laughing again. While this may just make it worse because people would recognize him faster, it was a good boost for the mood and Harry's ego.
Once we were finally done, wiping the tears from laughter away, I just looked at him in what he had dubbed my 'cute lovesick puppy'-look.
"Well, that was something." I just said, laying back down.
"It certainly is. And I bet Draco will hate it." Harry answered, giving me a soft kiss on my nose.
"Yeah. Imagine that people find him hotter then him." I said, giggling as I imagined Draco's face. Probably with a turned up nose and a fake scowl.
"That would be a disaster indeed." Harry said sarcastically.
It was again quiet for a while until I thought of something that would maybe help Harry cheer up.
"Do you want something to drink?" I suddenly asked. "We still have some of that good European chocolate."
Harry nodded. "Yes please. Use your mother recipe. She makes the most amazing hot chocolates."
I went to the small kitchen and started boiling the milk while getting the chocolate drops. I added some extra spices and a bit (okay maybe more then a bit) Frangelico. God knows Harry would need it right now.
I returned with two cups filled to the brim with hot chocolate and marshmallows. "Here. I think you'll like it."
Harry took the cup gratefully and started slowly drinking. He muttered a thanks and grinned when he tasted the Frangelico. I sat next to him, carefully pulling him closer and drank my drink. Once we were done, I put it to the side and gave him a kiss on his forehead.
He yawned and pouted when I poked his nose. Really, it was his fault. He shouldn't be so cute when he was yawning.
"You're a meanie, you know." He said angrily, or as angry someone who was still yawning could be.
I hummed. "We should go to sleep, I bet we have a busy day tomorrow." I suggested, already feeling my eyelids get heavier.
"Yeah. I'm also feeling like I just ran a marathon."
"Must be that adrinaline."
"I guess so."
And after that, I fell asleep, dreaming about a nice and painfree future with my family and Harry.
I really hoped what we were doing was the right way and not a big mistake. I just wanted a calm life. After this, I decided. After this we were moving to a nice warm, small island with my Harry Potter