Chapter 10- Fourth year
The game everyone had been talking about for what felt like an eternity had finally arrived. Saturday morning was a flurry of nerves, and Remus could feel the anxiety from everyone around him, the tension creeping into his own chest. Even Sirius—usually cool, calm, and collected—was anxiously playing with his hair. Marlene, typically an easygoing person, had transformed into a force of focus, barking out orders and going over plays with Sirius at the breakfast table. Each passing minute only seemed to make him more wound up, his usual nonchalance replaced with visible strain. When Sirius nearly snapped his fork in half from gripping it too tightly, Remus decided it was time to step in.
"Marlene, what would you say the other team's weakest flaws are?" Remus asked, feigning interest with as much casualness as he could muster. Instantly, Marlene launched into a rant, dissecting every single player on the opposing team with the precision of a strategist. It seemed to be working—Sirius, who had been on the verge of snapping, slowly relaxed, his grip on the cutlery loosening. He absentmindedly poked at his food, silently listening to Marlene’s breakdown. Remus would have called it a success... until Marlene casually dropped the name he had been dreading.
"Now, Regulus isn’t horrible," she said, as though discussing a trivial matter. "Not horrible at all. In fact, I’d argue he’s far more agile than our Seeker. His biggest flaw is experience—this is only his second year playing. But honestly, give him a couple more years, and he’ll definitely be the best Seeker at Hogwarts." Remus’ heart skipped a beat. His eyes flicked between Marlene and Sirius, waiting for a reaction. It seemed like their side of the table had caught on to what was happening—James and Peter, too, were suddenly unnervingly silent, all eyes fixed on Sirius. The tension in the air was palpable.
Sirius had been doing fine—relatively calm, even—as Marlene went on about Regulus’s weaknesses. But then she started listing all of his best qualities, and that’s when Sirius snapped. Without warning, he shot up from the table too quickly, his cup of orange juice tipping over and spilling across the surface. He didn’t even seem to notice, or care. His face was stormy, and with a muttered excuse about needing "last minute practice," he stalked off, leaving the rest of the group in stunned silence. The air was thick with tension until Marlene finally broke it, letting out a long sigh. "Shit, I said something stupid, didn’t I?" James gave her a small, uncomfortable grimace, while Peter, in his usual, blunt way, said, "I think it was the brother thing." Remus couldn’t help but think that was a very mild way of putting it but then again, he wasn’t sure how deep this feud with Sirius’s brother went.
"What even happened between them?" Marlene asked, voicing the question that had been on Remus’s mind since Sirius stormed off. James hesitated, his gaze flickering to Peter for confirmation. Peter just shrugged, silently giving James the go-ahead to speak. "Well, we all know what kind of family Sirius comes from," James started carefully. "And I guess they’d ironically call him the black sheep. Getting into Gryffindor didn’t exactly do him any favours either. But I think he always assumed Regulus would be like him, that they’d be in Gryffindor together. I mean, he used to talk about his younger brother all the time, always so excited for us to meet him." James paused, his expression turning more thoughtful as he seemed to choose his words carefully. "I’m not sure what exactly went down at home, but when Regulus was sorted into Slytherin instead of Gryffindor, everything changed. Suddenly, Regulus was this... topic we had to avoid."
Remus sat back, pondering what James had said. Surely, there had to be more to the story than just Regulus being sorted into Slytherin. Something like that shouldn't ruin a life long relationship. He couldn’t shake the feeling that James was either deliberately holding back or simply didn’t know the full truth himself. Either way, there was more to this than he was being let in on. "Wow, that’s definitely something," Marlene murmured, her expression mirroring Remus’s confusion. James, seemingly unfazed, shrugged. "You’re not wrong about that," he said, his tone casual as he turned back to his breakfast. Remus did the same and he had almost forgotten about the Quidditch game completely, until the rest of the team walked up to their part of the table and dragged Marlene and James away.
"Are you coming to watch the game, Remus?" Peter asked as they finished up their food. "Well I do want to avoid James looking at me like a kicked crup," Remus replied with a teasing grin. Peter chuckled and they both stood up to leave the Great Hall. "Alanza refuses to watch any Quidditch games unless her house is playing," Peter added, and Remus couldn’t help but notice the slight disappointment in his voice. "How are you two doing?" Remus asked, genuinely curious. He hadn't seen much of Alanza lately. Peter always said she was busy with her studies, but there was a certain tone to his words that made Remus wonder if he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else.
"Yeah, we’re okay," Peter answered, though there was a noticeable hesitation in his voice. Remus stayed quiet, allowing the silence to stretch on, just waiting to see if Peter would open up more. After a moment, Peter let out a sigh and began speaking again. "Look, I’m just worried she doesn’t like me as much anymore. But maybe I’m just being paranoid." Remus didn’t interrupt. He figured it was best to let Peter voice his concerns. He continued, voice quieter now. "She always says she’s busy studying with her Ravenclaw friends, and whenever I ask if I can join, she tells me I’ll be bored or that I won’t enjoy it. I don’t know, it just feels like she doesn’t want me around." He sighed again, turning to face Remus. "What do you think?" he asked.
"I think you should probably talk to her about it," Remus suggested, keeping his tone casual. "I mean, I’m no relationship expert, but I’m assuming communication is important." He gave a small shrug, adding with a wry grin, "Most of my relationship advice comes from the novels I grew up reading, so take it with a grain of salt."
"So you think I should just talk to her and tell her how I feel?" Peter asked, his voice tinged with disbelief. "Well, you can’t expect her to fix something if she doesn’t know it’s broken," Remus answered with another shrug. Peter fell silent for a moment, his steps slowing as he seemed to weigh the idea. They were almost at the Quidditch pitch before he finally spoke up again. "I’ll find her and tell her later today," he said, more confidently now, as they reached their side of the stands. "Thanks for listening to me, Remus," Peter added with a grateful smile. "That was better advice than anything James or Sirius would’ve given me. I’m pretty sure they’d just tell me to break up with her." he finished with a huff. Remus couldn’t help but nod in agreement. Considering the way James and Sirius often acted around Alanza, Peter probably wasn’t wrong.
Peter and Remus had been seated for about ten minutes before Mary and Lily finally showed up, their Gryffindor scarves and beanies making them easy to spot. "Are you two excited!?" Mary asked, plopping down next to Remus. Both he and Peter gave small grunts in response, which made Lily laugh. "Yeah, I feel the same way," she said with a playful roll of her eyes. "But watching Marlene makes up for it."
"Not James?" Remus asked teasingly, raising an eyebrow. Mary let out a snort, while Lily blushed—Remus couldn’t tell if it was from annoyance or embarrassment. "James could get hit by a bludger for all I care," Lily muttered, turning her attention back to the pitch. Remus gasped dramatically, clutching his chest. "How could you be so heartless?"
"Yeah, Lily, that’s the love of your life you’re talking about," Mary teased with another giggle. Peter leaned in, looking thoroughly amused. "James would love this conversation."
"Shut up, all of you. The players are coming out," Lily snapped, though she was smiling despite herself. As the Gryffindor team marched onto the pitch, loud cheers erupted around them, drowning out the rest of their teasing. Remus couldn’t help but grin.
He instantly scanned the pitch for his friends, spotting James standing in the middle, his usual enthusiasm evident despite the tension in the air. The other two, Sirius and Marlene, stood further to the side, closer to the stands. Sirius seemed much less nervous now that the game was about to begin, though Remus could tell it was probably a well-practiced mask—his calm demeanor hiding any real unease. James and Marlene both looked determined, their flaming red Gryffindor uniforms a striking contrast against the green of the pitch. The commentator began introducing the Gryffindor players, their names echoing across the stands, and just as the crowd’s energy peaked, the Slytherin team walked out, their green uniforms gleaming as they made their way to the pitch. The tension in the air grew heavier as the two teams prepared for what promised to be an intense match.
Remus’s gaze immediately landed on Regulus. It was easier to distinguish between the two brothers now that they were standing within ten meters of each other. Regulus had a slimmer, slightly smaller build, though that could have been due to age and growth. Sirius, on the other hand, had more muscle and stood taller, a clear physical difference between them. What caught Remus’s attention the most, however, was how neither of them seemed to acknowledge the other’s presence. Not a single glance, not even a flicker of recognition. It was as if they were two strangers, standing on opposite sides of a battlefield, and Remus couldn’t help but wonder if the tension between them was more than just a sibling rivalry.
Finally, the captains of each team shook hands, and the whistle blew, signaling the start of the game. The air was electric with anticipation, but Remus’s focus quickly narrowed to the action on the pitch. The first thing he noticed was how fast James was on his broom. Remus had seen James fly before, of course, but never in the intensity of a match like this. The way James moved was practically effortless, darting across the pitch with practiced precision. It only took a few passes and half a minute before Gryffindor scored their first goal. Remus was grateful for the commentator's steady voice, as he was struggling to keep up with the speed of the game. The players were blurs of motion, and even his keen eyes had to work hard to track each move.
After a few minutes of fast-paced gameplay, Remus began to scan the pitch for Sirius and Marlene amidst the sea of Gryffindor red and Slytherin green. He spotted Sirius just as he smacked a bludger in the direction of one of the Slytherin chasers, who narrowly dodged it at the last second. Remus’s gaze followed Sirius as he maneuvered with precision, eyes flicking to the other side of the pitch just in time to see Regulus fly past, clearly on the hunt for the snitch. Remus couldn’t help but wonder what was going through Sirius’s mind in that moment. Being in different houses was one thing, but playing directly against each other—this had to stir up a whole different level of conflict, and Remus could only imagine how it must feel to face each other like this, with so much on the line.
Remus’s attention shifted to Marlene next, who appeared more focused on defending than on aggressively targeting the opposition. She moved fluidly with the rest of the team, her eyes always scanning for incoming threats. As Remus continued to watch the two beaters, his gaze inevitably returned to Sirius. This time, it wasn’t just the game tactics that had his attention—it was the way Sirius seemed to be fixated on aiming the bludger directly at his brother. Every time Regulus darted past, Sirius sent a bludger his way. Regulus’s agility was working in his favor, though, as he dodged each bludger with ease, his movements sharp and precise. Remus couldn’t help but notice how this seemed to only heighten Sirius’s frustration.
It looked like Marlene was starting to get frustrated as well. She kept trying to get Sirius’s attention, clearly wanting to tell him to stop focusing so much on Regulus, but he was actively ignoring her. Remus could see the tension mounting in her expression as she flew in tight circles, trying to keep the rest of the team safe from the relentless bludgers. With Sirius distracted, Marlene had to work twice as hard to cover the gaps, keeping the team from suffering any unnecessary hits. It was clear that her focus was split between the game and trying to reign Sirius in, and the added pressure was starting to show.
The Gryffindor chasers were on fire, working together seamlessly, and within just 20 minutes of play, they had already built a 60-point lead over Slytherin. James was proving to be an invaluable asset to the team, despite having the least amount of experience among the chasers. His sense of timing was impeccable—knowing exactly when to go for the goal and when to pass the quaffle. The way he communicated with Marlene and the others was effortless, and their teamwork was lightyears ahead of Slytherin’s, giving Gryffindor a significant advantage. The fluidity of their plays made it seem like they were a well-oiled machine, leaving Slytherin struggling to keep up.
Sirius smacked yet another bludger toward Regulus, who was now flying dangerously close to the center of the field, right between Sirius and the main gameplay. As expected, Regulus dodged the bludger with ease, but this time Marlene wasn’t there to protect the rest of the team. She was occupied with the other bludger, aimed at Gryffindor’s seeker. Remus heard Mary’s gasp first, and a second later, he realised the path of the bludger Sirius had hit. It was headed straight for one of the Gryffindor chasers. His heart skipped as he quickly registered that the chaser in question was James.
Panic surged through him, and he heard Peter muttering a string of expletives under his breath next to him. Sirius must have realised the same thing, because Remus saw him immediately dive toward the bludger, flying as fast as he could to intercept it before it reached James. The tension in the air was thick, and Remus held his breath, waiting to see if Sirius would make it in time.
Unfortunately, Sirius was seconds too late. Just as he dove towards the bludger, James flew directly into its path. Remus watched in horror as the bludger slammed into James’s head with a sickening thud. There was a collective gasp from the audience, followed by a stunned silence before chaos erupted. Almost everyone in the stands jumped to their feet, eyes locked on James as he crumpled unconscious and plummeted toward the ground. The scene felt like it was moving in slow motion, and Remus's stomach churned as he instinctively shot up from his seat, desperate to make sense of what had just happened.
After the initial shock wore off, the four of them were sprinting down the stands, pushing people out of their way to get to the field as quickly as possible. Remus had no idea if this was a common occurrence in Quidditch, but judging by the horror on everyone’s faces, something very bad had just happened. His heart raced as they reached the edge of the field, and he could see the pile of Gryffindors huddled around James. "Is he okay? Is he breathing?" Lily asked, her voice a frantic mix of worry and desperation. Marlene spun around to face them, her face tight with anger and fear. "Yes, he’s breathing," she snapped, eyes briefly flickering with concern before turning back to the group, her glare locked on Sirius. It was clear she was doing her best to hold it together, but Remus could see the tension in her posture as she struggled to focus on James instead of the situation brewing between her and Sirius.
Remus stood on his toes, straining to see better, and his heart dropped when he spotted James crumpled on the ground, blood pooling from under his head. Beside him, Sirius looked utterly shattered, as if he regretted every decision that had led to this moment. He was holding James’s hand, murmuring something to him, though James remained motionless, unconscious. Dumbledore and McGonagall were at the scene moments later, their presence immediate and commanding. Dumbledore’s wand flicked, and a glowing blue phoenix shot out from it, speeding toward the castle with a sense of urgency.
"Please make room," McGonagall commanded, her voice firm as she conjured a stretcher, which Dumbledore then levitated James onto. "Mr. Lupin, please escort Mr. Black to the common room," she instructed, her tone leaving no room for argument. She then stepped over to the still-pale Sirius, whispering something quietly in his ear. Remus watched as Sirius gave a small, reluctant nod before finally releasing James's hand. With that, the two professors quickly made their way back to the castle, the urgency of their pace clear as they hurried off with James.
The game was on the brink of being cancelled by Madam Hooch when, to everyone’s surprise, an awkward looking Regulus appeared from the crowd and handed over the snitch. The moment hung in the air, with no applause or outrage, leaving an odd silence that reminded Remus of Sirius. He glanced around, only to find that he was no longer in sight. "Did any of you see where Sirius went?" Remus asked, his voice betraying his concern. His friends were murmuring softly about James, Sirius, and now Regulus. "No, but honestly, I don’t really care," Marlene muttered, her frustration still simmering. "Maybe you're being a bit harsh on him, Marls," Mary said gently, her tone trying to offer some understanding. "I know he messed up, but he's probably feeling guilty enough as it is." Marlene huffed in response, though her expression softened from anger to weariness. "I’m going to go shower. Then I’m sulking for the rest of the weekend."
After Marlene left, Remus turned back to the others. "I’m going to assume this isn’t how Quidditch games usually go," he said, voice laced with sarcasm as he rubbed the back of his neck. Peter let out a weak laugh, though Remus could still see the concern for James evident on his face. "I should probably go find Sirius," Remus sighed, mentally ticking off places he could check. "I’ll visit James before dinner if you guys want to meet up then." Mary and Lily nodded in agreement, and as they began their journey back to the castle, Remus heard the first few words of Lily’s impending rant about safety before they walked out of earshot. "I'll help you find him," Peter offered, his voice steady and sincere. Remus turned back around and a wave of relief washed over him. He wasn’t sure he had the energy to deal with Sirius alone right now.
The two of them made their way back to the castle in silence, the only words exchanged being suggestions of where they thought Sirius might be. First, they checked Gryffindor Tower, but of course, it wasn’t that easy. Then, they moved on to the Astronomy Tower and then the Owlery, though Remus knew he was probably the only one who ever went there to hide. They finally ended up back at the Quidditch pitch, peering inside the changing rooms, which made Remus blush slightly as his mind wandered back to the last time he’d been there. Eventually, they stopped at the Transfiguration Courtyard, both of them sitting down in silence, the weight of the search hanging heavily between them as they tried to think of where else Sirius might be.
It only took a minute for Remus to groan in realisation. "I know where he is," he muttered to Peter, frustrated with himself for not figuring it out sooner. "Where?" Peter asked, still looking puzzled. Remus rolled his eyes slightly. "Where would Sirius go if his best friend just got hit in the head by his bludger?" he asked, the answer clear in his mind. Peter blinked for a moment, confusion still on his face, but then the realisation clicked. Both of them jumped to their feet and rushed toward the hospital wing, their pace quickening as they finally knew where to find him.
Once they reached the hospital wing, they found Sirius sitting on the floor in front of the doors. It was clear that the nurse wasn’t letting anyone in. Remus slid down next to him, a quiet sigh escaping his lips as he took a seat. "Hey," he greeted gently, voice soft to match the atmosphere. Sirius glanced up, raising an eyebrow. "You don’t need to treat me like fragile glass, Lupin," he muttered, tone flat but with an edge of something else. He gave Peter a brief nod of acknowledgment before turning his attention back to the doors. "Well, I just wanted to make sure you’re alright," Remus said, trying to sound casual, though he could hear the edge in his voice. Sirius snorted darkly. "I’m not the one with the bludgeoned head," he replied, his words carrying more weight than just a remark. Remus could hear the anger in his voice, a simmering fury that he knew was directed inwards.
"Slytherin won," Peter added unhelpfully, and Remus shot him a glare from around Sirius’s shoulder. Peter quickly mouthed a "sorry" and turned away sheepishly. Remus, however, kept his focus on Sirius. He didn’t want to miss anything—he wasn’t sure if Sirius was about to explode, break down, or simply sit in silence for hours. He could sense the storm swirling beneath the surface. Sirius finally broke the silence, irritation seeping into his voice. "Lupin, I’m serious. Stop looking at me like that." Remus didn’t let it faze him, shrugging with an attempt at humor. "I already know you’re Sirius," he said and a small smile tugged at the corner of Sirius’s lips at the joke. Remus felt the relief wash over him. Peter also huffed in amusement from beside them. "Congratulations. That was your first of what is probably going to be many Sirius jokes." Remus rolled his eyes playfully. "Fantastic," he said, trying to ease more of the tension that still clung to the air.
The silence stretched on, and Remus couldn't help glancing over at Sirius, his concern still evident despite how hard he tried to hide it. He knew it was probably obvious—maybe even a bit too obvious—but he couldn’t shake the worry gnawing at him. He was doing everything he could to not let it show, but his eyes kept straying back to Sirius, making sure he wasn’t on the verge of a meltdown. It wasn’t like Remus thought Sirius would lose his temper or something—that wasn’t what he was worried about. It was more the quiet, the kind of stillness that felt fragile, like everything was just holding its breath, waiting for something to break. And maybe that’s what he was afraid of. He was terrified of Sirius breaking. Eventually, Sirius turned around to face him, and Remus immediately felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. He had been caught. Again.
"Remus, please," Sirius said, his voice softer than expected. "I’m fine. I promise I’m not about to go on some rampage." Remus didn’t know why, but hearing those words from him made something inside relax just a little. He searched Sirius’s eyes carefully, looking for any sign of insincerity. But there was none. It took a moment for Remus to let go of his tension and let the worry fade a bit. He nodded, trying to gather himself. "Alright," he said, with a little more calm than he felt, "I’ll take your word for it." Turning his attention away from Sirius, he finally let himself focus on the silence again, his mind drifting back to James.
After what felt like an eternity, Madam Pomfrey emerged from the infirmary. Her expression was unreadable, though the slightest flicker of acknowledgment passed over her face when she saw the trio waiting expectantly. "He's perfectly fine," she said, her voice steady and reassuring. "We’re keeping him awake for now, just to monitor his concussion." She gave each of them a quick glance, but her gaze lingered longest on Sirius. "You may visit," she continued, her tone sharpening. "But no more than ten minutes, understood?" They nodded in unison, their movements hurried as they scrambled to their feet.
James looked a world away from the broken figure he'd been earlier that day, crumpled on the pitch, and Remus felt a weight lift off his chest as he took in the sight of his friend propped up in bed. The relief that flooded through him was almost physical, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "I'm so fucking sorry, James," Sirius blurted the moment they reached his side, his voice thick with guilt. James rolled his eyes, that familiar lopsided grin curling on his lips. "Mate, it's fine," he said with a shrug that was far too casual, as if he hadn’t just been knocked out of the sky by a projectile. "Accidents happen." Remus watched him, amazed as always by the easy confidence in James' demeanor. Despite the chaos of the day, he seemed almost...untouched by it all. In that moment, Remus couldn't help but wish he could carry himself with such carefree resilience.
"Gods, I knew you’d be like this," Sirius groaned, though the relief in his voice was unmistakable. "Why can't you just yell at me for once, like a normal person?" James let out a laugh at that, though it was immediately followed by a wince of pain. "I would never yell at you, Sirius," he teased, and Remus couldn’t help but smile wider at the familiar warmth of their banter. "Glad to see you're okay, mate," Remus said, giving James a nod of genuine relief. James returned the gesture, his smile still easy despite the lingering ache. "You should’ve seen the way you fell out of the sky," Peter piped up, his voice lighter now that the tension had broken. "Everyone was on their feet straight away."
"Everyone?" James raised an eyebrow, exchanging looks with Peter. Peter hesitated for a moment, his grin widening into a sly smirk. "I think Evans was more worried than anyone else," he said, clearly enjoying himself. Remus bit back a chuckle, but privately, he thought Peter might have exaggerated. He played along anyway. "You should’ve seen her," he added with a teasing glint in his eye. "She was the first one down the field, practically sprinting to see if you were still breathing." James’ smile grew wider at the thought and Remus knew it was a good move to leave out the bludger comment she made at the start of the game.
"I should be thanking you, Black," James joked, turning to face an exasperated Sirius with a mischievous grin. "You know, if I’d known she’d react like that, I might have suggested the whole ‘falling out of the sky’ thing myself." Remus let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head at the absurdity of it all. He wasn’t sure whether James was completely joking or if there was a hint of truth in his words, but either way it was nice to see him joking, and more importantly, alive.