Sex, Drugs, Etc

"Merlin, remember when we could all fit inside this?" Sirius whispered to you, shifting uncomfortably beside you beneath James’s invisibility cloak as you both wandered the halls undetected. Whom he was referring to, to clarify were the other Marauders, Moony, Wormtail, and Prongs, or Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and the owner of the cloak, James Potter. The cloak barely fits two people now, due to you all being in sixth year. It only just covered your heads as its hems dragged lightly across the stone floors. Sirius held his wand, directed towards the Marauders' Map splayed before him, a glare lingering rather particularly on the Slytherin Dungeons.

On the other hand, Filch was currently patrolling the school grounds with his irksome cat, Mrs. Norris, leaving the East Wing desolate and free for the two of you to traverse. You and Sirius were alone, him having dragged you out of your dorm due to boredom at this late hour. Technically, the two of you could do anything as long as it didn’t include audible cacophonies certain to have the two of you caught. Biting his lip in contemplation, the thought made his stomach churn with excitement.

“What should we do?” He asked, his hushed voice laced with an avid inquiry undeniably masking mischief. “We’re going to be caught. This thing barely even covers the both of us,” you whisper-yelled, still half asleep. A rather sharp snort escaped from his lips at your words. “No one can see us, and there’s no one around. As long as you remain quiet and bloody still, we’ll be fine,” he chided, a subtle jab at your inability to keep quiet.

“I’m completely still, you’re the one who keeps walking too fast.” You poked his side with your elbow and he let out a quiet oof, unable to hold back a sharp intake of breath. “Watch it!” He warned lowly, his eyes narrowing. “I’m not moving that quickly, you’re the one that keeps bumping into me.”

“Am not!”

“Are too-” the whispered words froze abruptly in Sirius’s throat as a sudden sound echoed further down the hall. Fervidly, a hush passed over both of your figures, a heavy weight smothering any words from your lips as you both tensed under the cloak. Despite being under the invisible protection, as if on instinct, your fingers encircled his bare wrist, tugging him to the nearest corner of the hall, practically shoving him against the stone as you quickly concealed anything that could’ve slipped out of the shroud. His back was pinned and Merlin, your body was so close to his.

You knew you were being paranoid, but you felt almost as if his breathing was too loud, and you covered his mouth before he could protest, mouthing a ‘quiet’ to him. He fell entirely silent, his breath hitching behind parted lips, your chest against his, which involuntarily sent a shiver up his spine. He was trying not to look down, but you felt so close, driving him up the wall. Your torsos were rising and falling entirely in sync, your breath on his neck, soft, warm, tantalizing, against his pale skin. It sent a sharp heat to his cheek, and he prayed the darkness covered his reddened cheeks, his grey eyes trained firmly on your face.

A small white ball of fur fled the darkness of the hallway, and you realized that was the sound you had both been so frightened by. A mouse. The sound of a breathless sigh filled the air as his gaze darted to the side, his dark hues lingering on the creature a moment longer before returning down to you. His throat felt oddly dry and scratchy, the feeling of you causing his pulse to thrum. He could count every eyelash and freckle on your face from there.

You stepped away from him, mumbling an apology, and immediately left a sort of coldness on his skin in your absence. He didn’t understand. He was the Casanova of House Gryffindor, he charmed the ladies, the ladies didn’t charm him, and you didn’t even seem to be trying. And it was never like this, never serious like. But he pushed any desire to the back of his head. You were one of his best friends, he was probably just pent up. He forced a smirk, pushing off the wall with nonchalance. “See? We’re fine. No one can see us.” It was a complete lie. That was the closest he’d ever been to getting caught. If that had been Filch instead of a harmless vermin, you would’ve been cooked, fried, grilled, toasted, etc.

“Can we just go back? I don’t like how close that was?” He could have almost cried with happiness. He needed to get away from you anyway, to stop the thoughts whirling around in his head. He just needed a good lay. That was it. It had nothing to do with you. He clutched the Marauder’s Map and checked it before nodding.

“Looks like Filch isn’t anywhere near the dorms. We should be fine going back.” And it was fine. All of it. It would be forgotten in the morning. So why did he start walking with his hand outstretched slightly? It was a silent offering. A barely visible quiver cascaded over him as your fingers enveloped his. His palm was calloused and the prominent scar on his knuckles suddenly seemed much more important, and he wished he had bandaged them when he was younger so they hadn’t scarred over. The imperfections had always felt tiny to him, but now he felt self-conscious. What the fuck was going on?

But it was warm, and it was natural. Too natural. Silently, you traversed to the dorms, occasionally glancing at the map to avoid catching his eye. You didn’t know what was wrong with him, well, Sirius was always weird, but this was different. You made it to your dorm, and he bid you goodnight, releasing your hand and you went back to bed, and you thanked the stars that it was a Saturday and you could sleep in.

Lily shook you awake hours later, and you felt like sludge. Screw Sirius. “You missed the Quidditch match against Slytherin. We’re having a party.” With Gryffindors, a party either meant a small gathering, perhaps featuring a blunt or an all-out, unstoppable force of nature. Drinks, dancing, sex, drugs, etc. (See what I did there?) You let Lily prepare you and then you found yourself on the couch of the common room next to a couple making out and contemplated whether or not you should exit the party through the top floor’s window. You consumed drink after drink, ensuring you only accepted drinks from people you trusted.

Lily was with James and genuinely looked like she was enjoying herself. How odd. Maybe you were hallucinating. Peter seemed to be attempting to flirt with Anastasia Greengrass, but he was too red and out of it to even finish the pick-up line, and Anastasia's current boyfriend, Kieran Gaunt, pitied him too much to punch the ever-loving shit out of him. That's when 'You're So Vain' by Carly Simon came on, and you shakily rose, scoping out an acceptable dance partner. To put it lightly, this song was the shit. You settled on Mary Macdonald, and as you two danced, you felt eyes on you. The song finished and you plopped down on the couch.

Sirius was suddenly standing over you, trying to talk to you over the music, and you strained your ears to hear him.

"I saw you dancing out there! I don't think I've ever seen you look so sexy!" Right as he yelled, the music cut for a moment, and everyone stared at him for a moment, giggles filling the air before the music started back up again, this time playing 'September'. Of course.

Sirius fell back against the couch next to you with a sharp exhale embarrassment flooding his features, the cushions dipping. He looked relaxed like this, one ankle thrown haphazardly over his knee, and despite being inebriated, he looked completely put-together, loose black shirt paired with dark trousers, showcasing his lean figure, as always. Immediately, he took notice of your very, very drunk state. You were bobbing side to side, on beat with the music, seemingly normal, but then you opened your mouth, slurred sentences strung together as you greeted him with a loose smile.

"Christ, how many did you have?"

"Eleventeen," you mumbled back at him with an entirely straight face.

You were out of it, and he was a good friend. That was why he took you to his dorm. Let you sleep in his bed. That was why he slept on the uncomfortable chair. James spent the night in Lily’s dorm. Peter passed out on a table in the common room, and unfortunately for Remus, it was the second day after a full moon, so the two of you were alone together. He was drunk, but not as drunk as you, and he came to a terrible, awful, no-good realization.

Sirius Black was in love with you.