Tell Him I'm Sorry
He'd grown a beard, his hair was longer and his mind was darker.
"What you doing?" Barty Crouch Jr.
Sirius didn't know how long Barty had been in Azkaban for. Neither did Barty. Neither of them cared. Sirius didn't like him very much, but he was someone to talk too, someone to keep him sane.
Sirius ignored Barty, he was throwing himself at the window in another attempt to brake it.
According to Barty, Harry Potter was alive, he was known was "The Boy Who Lived" due to the fact Voldemort was unable to kill him.
Barty was also a friend of Regulus's apparently.
Regulus was dead. Sirius already knew this.
But according to Barty, Regulus had died trying to kill Voldemort. Barty didn't know what he'd been doing but he'd drowned. Barty got this knowledge from their mutual friend Pandora Lovegood.
"What are you doing?" Barty repeated.
"Breaking the window." Sirius answered not stopping.
"Well, no shit. But why?"
"Leaving."
"Your gonna jump out the window? Why? To kill yourself?"
"Yes."
"Waste of time. The dementors always catch you, bring you back, put you in a worse cell. Might even give you the kiss."
Sirius didn't answer. The window had shattered. He stared as the glass fell into the ibis.
He turned around to look at Barty.
Barty was standing at the door of his cell, hands clutching the bars.
"Look I don't know why but I feel like I've gotta talk you out of this..." Barty scratched his head clearly thinking.
"Think of your boyfriend, Lupin was it? And Harry!"
That was the final straw. Remus hated him and Barty had said no one had heard from him in years, and Harry was an orphan, living with muggles. It was all Sirius fault.
He looked back at Barty, he looked scared.
"Don't leave me on my own."
"You'll be fine, don't listen to any of the people you see, they're not real."
And with that Sirius jumped. He heard Barty's yell of "No!" as he fell but he didn't care.
He wasn't sure why he did it but he transformed into Padfoot, Padfoot had helped him through all his time in Azkaban. Padfoot didn't have nightmares, Padfoot couldn't see the people. Padfoot had lost his packmate's not his friends. Padfoot hadn't lost the love of his life.
As he fell he thought,
Regulus, the brother he had hated, had drowned trying to kill Voldemort. Regulus was smarter than him. Regulus had died. Regulus was the better brother.
Remus, no one had heard from him in years. He could be dead, or drunk, or living with a pack of murderer wolves.
Harry, the boy he'd wanted to protect from this war, the boy who was now parentless and living with muggles. Was me happy there? Sirius hoped so.
Lily, the girl who James had pinned over for years, he'd finally gotten her and Sirius had ruined that.
James, his best friend, his other half. His better half, finally happy and settled, making what he could out of the war. He had to die for it to stop.
Peter, the boy who had ratted them out to Voldemort. The little rat. Then he'd framed Sirius for the murder of Lily, James, twelve muggles and Peter himself.
And Remus. Remus, Remus, Remus. His friend, his boyfriend. The love of his life.
A thought hit him as the ground grew nearer, Padfoot's fur flying everywhere,
If Remus was still alive. Sirius was abandoning him. He was leaving him on his own again. Again.
Tell Remus I'm sorry. He thought desperately as he made contact with the mud on the floor.
Remus, Remus, Remus, Moony. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Tell him I'm sorry.