Chapter 3
Regulus had been in his room for a while when there was a knock at the door. Regulus walked over to the door and to his surprise standing at the door was remus lupin. Regulus was very confused. He and remus had never talked to each other before the train so it was a bit weird.
"Can I come in"
"Oh umm yeah of course"
Regulus moved aside letting remus walk into his room before closing the door behind him.
"So do you like your room"
"It's fine"
"Fine?"
"It's not bad"
"So what I'm hearing is that you do like it but you don't like james so you lied"
"No"
"Ok we both know your lying"
"Did you need something or are you just here to bully me"
"First of all I'm not bullying you just telling the truth second of all I just wanted to talk to I don't know get to know each other"
"Why"
"Well sirius talks about you all the time saying how your smart kind and well to be honest he talks about you like your a fucking god"
"He does?"
"Yeah sometimes it can get annoying but he always talks about you so I wanted to see what all the hype was about"
"Ok so what do you want to know then"
"Anything everything"
"Umm ok"
The two boys started talking to each other about everything from their favourite color to the reason why regulus doesn't like james. They talked for a few hours. After a while remus asked if he had gotten a tour and when regulus said no he offered to do it regulus agreed and so they left the room.
They started on the third floor which included the library which was ginormous and fleamont's office. Then the second floor that had all the boys rooms and two bathrooms. On one side there is sirius's and James's and on the other remus's and regulus's. Then they went down to the first floor which has fleamont and euphemia's room the living room their very big kitchen and a bathroom.
After the tour remus ask regulus what he thought of the house and regulus replied saying it was certainly big and that he thought the house looked very well and was decorated nicely.
The two boys then started discussing the ginormous library they have on the third floor of the house when they saw james and sirius rolling around on the floor pretending to fight which was one of the many thing regulus hated about sirius and james.
The two boys stopped when the spotted the other two and the got up of the floor before remus questioned them on why they were rolling around on the floor on top of each other.
"Well we were ummm well I don't remember" sirius said.
"Umm alright then" remus said confused.
When they were done remus turned around to regulus asking him if he wanted to go to the library before dinner that was supposed to be in an hour.
Regulus said yes and as the walked away from the other two boys sirius look annoyed and james look annoyed to but not at the two boys in general james was looking straight at remus as if he wanted to kill him which regulus didn't gey but he honestly didn't care at this point.
Regulus ignored the look james was giving to remus and followed him up the stairs and into the library where they both picked up some books and sat down to read together they sat in silence reading together which regulus will admit he did quite enjoy.
As they sat there regulus thought that maybe if he could just stay as far away from james as he possibly could them maybe the Christmas break wouldn't be too bad and he mite actually enjoy it.
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After awhile sirius came into the library to tell them that effie said dinner was ready so they put the books down on the table and started making their way down to the kitchen to eat their dinner.
As he sat down regulus looked at the food on the plate. Regulus knew that he wasn't gonna eat hardly any of it but it still looked good. Regulus started to push the food around his plate.
As everyone sat down euphemia and fleamont started to ask the boys how school was going and what they had been up to and even asked Regulus how school was going and he replied happily. As they talked about all the different pranks they were doing effie and monty asked Regulus if he took part in prank but regulus told them that he had no interest in them. The other boys told the two adults about their adventures and all the this they had been up to.
As dinner went on and they started to talk about how they were doing in school academically. Regulus just starred at his plate as he pushed the food around it. As he look up he saw sirius staring at him and then his plate which is when he excused himself and went back up to his room.
A while after he got to his room he hear a know at the door and debated opening it in case it was sirius because regulus didn't have the energy to talk to him but regulus got up and walked over to the door where he saw james standing there.
Regulus a bit surprised and confused let him in the room closing the door behind him. Regulus walked over and sat on his bed as james turned the chair to the desk around to sit on it facing regulus.
"Can I help you"
"Yeah I wanted to talk to you about something"
"What now potter"
" you know you can call me james it won't kill you"
"If you have something to say then say it or leave"
"Will you call me james"
"Fine if it will get you out of here quicker now what did you want"
"You always say you hate me I want to know why"
"I don't know what your talking about"
"Yes you do just tell me please"
"No"
"Why"
"Because I don't want to"
"Please"
"Ugh fine you want to know why I don't like you I don't like you because from the day sirius met you your all he could talk about and after awhile the only person the wanted to hang out with"
"So you wanna know why I don't like you james I don't like you because you took my brother from me"
"Oh"
"Just get out please"
With that james walked over to the door and opened it walked out and closed it behind him.
Regulus was so tired that he just told james why he didn't like him and now he was going to tell sirius and sirius wasn't going to be happy. Regulus had always told sirius just just didn't like james and there was no reason because if he told him why he really hated james sirius would say that he loves him just as much as he loves james but to regulus it doesn't seem that way.
Regulus has always thought that sirius like jame better and he's sure most people at school think that he and james are brothers instead of him and regulus. He doesn't blame them though because sometimes even regulus second guesses whether or not they're the ones related and not sirius and james.
Regulus feels like doing something that he never thought he would do crying. Although he doesn't cry much he still does sometimes but the reason this time being regulus wishes that his whole life would just end.
Regulus laid in his bed and does something that he hasn't done in a while. Regulus lays in his bed and he crys as the tears fall down his face he is overwhelmed with emotions.
Soon after Regulus hears another knock at the door Regulus didn't have the energy to get up and even if he did he certainly wasn't going to answer after what had happened the last time he had opened the door.
If with his luck it was most likely sirius coming to talk to him about what he had told james in their most recent conversation which regulus still isn't ready to talk to anyone about.
A few minutes later the knocking stopped and whoever was at the door walked away. As regulus laid there he mustered up the strength to get up and get changed into his pajamas before laying in his bed again still got tears running down his face.
Regulus layed in his bed with the tears still running down his face. As he laid there regulus slowly started to fall asleep. After a few minutes of tossing and turning regulus had drifted off to sleep.
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The next morning regulus was woken by a knock at the door regulus got up and walked over to the door and opened it to his surprise standing there was fleamont. Regulus didn't know what to do until fleamont asked if he could come in.
"I know I'm a bit unannounced but I was wondering if you would be interested in coming up to the lab and helping me make some potions" fleamont said smiling at regulus.
"I heard you enjoyed potions at school and I needed some help"
"Oh umm yeah sure that sounds nice" regulus said smiling.
"Great well I'll meet you in the lab after breakfast"
And with that fleamont left and walked down the hall. Regulus was excited of course regulus enjoyed spending time with sirius but if james had mentioned anything about their conversation last night then he certainly didn't want to talk about it with him. If regulus was with fleamont all day then sirius and james couldn't find him because remus had mentioned the day before that they were banned for exploding it last summer.
Regulus got dressed into some comfy clothes and made his way downstairs. As he walked into the kitchen he was meet with euphemia cooking breakfast and remus sitting at the table reading a book from the library.
He also got a good morning from euphemia who asked how he had slept and how he was. He replied saying good morning and that he had slept fine.
Regulus didn't see any signs of sirius or james which was good because regulus didn't want to talk to sirius any time soon. Regulus went and sat down beside remus and remus looked at him the nodded out the window. To his surprise the two boys were outside on their brooms flying around the small pitch that is in the potters back garden.
"They do that almost every morning" remus said not looking up from his book.
"Why?" regulus asked curiously.
"I don't know they are just a bit weird like that" remus said slightly laughing.
Regulus didn't really care what they did as long as they stay as far away from him as they possibly can. Regulus wasn't in the mood for any of their shenanigans.
The silence in the kitchen didn't last long as soon after the two boys walked back in the back door of the house sweating from all the laps they did. Regulus looked down at the table and then up at remus hoping he would save him from having to talk to his brother.
Although he didn't understand why when remus looked up at regulus then glanced at sirius he started to talk to regulus as if they had already been mid conversation and had just paused as the two boys walked in.
Sirius look at the two talking confused then looked at james who just shrugged. Sirius sat down at the table and him and james started to talk to euphemia.
Euphemia asked the two boys to come help her in the kitchen which is when regulus excused himself to the bathroom and walked away upstairs. Regulus walked into his room and without even thinking closed the door and went and sat down on his bed.
He didn't know why he felt like this but he felt as if his heart had been broken into a million pieces. He replayed the image of james and sirius laughing at each other while racing around the pitch in the back garden. It make regulus feel as if everything he has ever done for sirius will never be enough.
Without even releasing a tear rolls down regulus cheek and regulus starts to feel overwhelmed with emotions. Regulus had spent his entire life trying to make sure that even if walburga and orion hurt sirius that they would never go as far as killing him he spent his entire life making sure that his brother didn't die and now he starts to feel as if it was never good enough that whatever james did will always be better than what he did.
After all when sirius was close to death last Christmas regulus was the one who begged walburga and orion to stop and to leave him alone he didn't care if he got hurt in the process he just wanted to save his brother he then packed sirius bags and pushed him into the floo.
But regulus is starting to think that even after all of that nothing that he did for his brother will never be as good as what james did or what Peter did or what remus did regulus thought to himself that he will never be good enough for sirius that even after everything he has done for him he will always love the other boys more.
Regulus sat there with his thoughts and started to cry even harder. No mater what he did he would never be as great as the amazing james potter. Regulus has tried his whole life to try and protect sirius from death but no mater what james will always be better and be more brave more amazing more of a brother than regulus has ever been and maybe he was and maybe regulus was stupid for thinking that he and his brother could be brothers again but he still always had that little bit of hope.
Regulus laid in his bed for awhile and heard a knock at the door so he wiped his tears and got up and walked over to the door and opened it.
"Hello regulus I was just wondering if you still wanted to join me in the lab?"
"Sorry I'm just not feeling to well"
"That's alright we can do it a different day do you need me to get effie"
"No that's alright I think it's just something I ate this morning"
"Alright well hope you feel better"
"Thanks"
And with that regulus closed the door and sat on his bed. He sat there for a few seconds before putting back on his pajamas and getting back into bed just as he layed down he started to think again which is when he felt the tears start to roll down his cheek again he wiped his eyes and laid down to sleep.
He heard a knock at the door but didn't have the strength to get up so he just laid there he then a bit after heard the person walk away from the door and not to long after that he drifted off to sleep.