James gives interviewing a try!
The fire in the back of the shop wasn’t huge- Marlene didn’t even see it- but it was enough to severely burn three employees out of their jobs. As a manager, the fact that a customer set alight a sofa is definitely her fault, which is why she takes the yelling so well.
“The store could have fucking burnt down! I was close to that section. I could have burnt down! ME!”
“Severus, I was also in the fu- in the store. I could have also ‘burnt down’, so I get the anger. What I don’t get, is why you’re yelling at me!” Her voice escalates from a very calm patronizing tone, to a shout that Marlene is sure she can see her desk rattling after.
“You’re the manager though, anything bad that happens here is your fault.”
“Well, Sev, I don’ t agree- funnily enough- but I do know it’s my responsibility to fix it. So, I know it’s busy out there and you’re a little understaffed, but give it your all and when you’re back in on Thursday next week, hopefully we’ll have three newbies to train and help you.”
“Right. Well then. I’ll just struggle through the day then, in fear!”
“Feel free to quit if you’re that scared- we’re hiring at the moment anyway.”
“Ugh.” And then he shuffles out of her office shutting the door loudly behind him like a petulant child.
When Marlene is sure he's far away, she grips her desk and screams noiselessly into the stuffy room.
-
It didn’t take her long to contact HR about advertising the three job vacancies (despite the fact that she thought they probably needed four, because understaffed and underpaid is the way corporate swings). And she got Pandora to stick some posters up too, but it was all begrudgingly, that she did it. You see, Marlene absolutely detests the hiring process, like, despises it. It’s all boring questions and people faking their personalities and bragging to get a shitty job and then having to reject them anyway. There are no upsides, which is why she’s so excited to overhear one of her employee’s conversations.
“No, obviously it’s shit that they’re gone or whatever- well, none of us liked Sluggy anyway- but like, I love when we get new people. It’s so fun meeting them.”
“I disagree.”
“Well, you’re an introvert Remus, can’t really expect to start liking people after all these years of hating them. But what if one of them’s really fit? You could get yourself a girlfrie-”
“James. Respectfully- or, actually, I don’t care if it’s respectfully or not- shut the fuck up. I do not want a girlfriend, I am fine as I am.”
“Okay! Okay.” There’s a pause, then exasperation remains in his voice as he says, “But I would loveee to interview someone. Like all professionally and that, I think I'd like it.”
“I don’t know, i think it’d be painfully boring like-”
Marlene intervenes here, popping out from where she was lurking behind an aisle.
“James, you are so right. I just love the hiring process,” Remus looks very confused with a tilted head, “But I am sooo busy right now, so I was actually looking for someone to help.”
“By help, do you mean do it?” Remus asks unhelpfully.
“Yes, I'd love for someone to help, by... doing it.” Marlene says through a forced smile and clenched teeth.
James’ smile is bright when she turns back though, and he does not look put off.
“I’d love to help! When can I do it?”
It’s almost pitiful how excited he is to work, and she fights the urge to speak condescendingly as she says, “As soon as we start getting applications in. I’ll check in with corporate tomorrow morning and update you. Now go and act like you’re doing your job or something instead of chatting.”
She’s quite sure she sees Remus drag his feet, next to a practically skipping James, on his way towards another aisle where they will undoubtedly continue to chat. Marlene smiles and goes back to her office for a nap.
***
James is nervous. He’s just seen the applications and there are six. He’ll have to reject three. Three! And he does not do well at upsetting people, so this is a little worrying. He hopes three of them are horribly mean or something. James thinks he’s a good judge of character, so when- he checks the name on his application- Stevie sits down, James knows that he’ll pick him. It’s just something about the way he holds himself, confident and sure of himself.
They shake hands as James welcomes him in, his voice only wavers slightly and his leg bounces under the table. He receives a gruff, “Thanks mate” in response.
“So, tell me a little about yourself, Stevie.”
“First of all, I was born in 1989, so I know what real music is.” So serious that James is afraid to laugh.
“Ooh okay.”
“That was a good quality, you should probably write it down.” He says this as a command, his neck straining to see James’ notepad.
“Oh. Okay then...”
He scribbles down ‘thinks his music taste is the best one’ then looks back up and asks if there’s anything else.
“I like true crime quite a lot.”
“Oh yeah, how come?
“It’s good to see some truth, everyone else is just faking. You know?”
“Oh yeah, er, a lot of liars out there.”
James hates interviewing people.
After a quick run-down of his accomplishments and qualifications: Stevie has a computer science GCSE and won a go-carting race one time (James doesn’t ask how old he was, but he mentions another boy crying to his mum after he got pushed over by Stevie).
“Thank you so much for coming in today, Stevie, we’ll let you know by Wednesday if you have the job or not.”
-
James thought it was impossible, but the third interviewee is somehow worse than the second, and the second was jittery with remnants of a white powder smattered on their upper lip. She’s just so annoying. Keeps on talking about her qualities in relation to getting over her exes, but not even transferrable skills, she mentioned being good at eating a lot of ice cream to cope with ‘breakup depression’. James doesn’t write that one down.
“Sooo, after the interview would you want to hang out? You seem like a really fun guy.”
James laughs a little at his own awkwardness before smiling apologetically as he says, “That’s a little unprofessional so I have to decline, but, you know, thanks for the compliment.”
“Oh okay, well if you change your mind my number is just at the bottom of that sheet there.”
He doesn’t have the heart to tell her it’s at the top.
“Kacie, it’s been lovely chatting to you. Thanks so much for coming in today, we’ll let you know about the position by Wednesday at the latest.”
James is about ready to let Marlene take over, and goes to let her know. He strides purposefully through the room, and opens the door with a huff at its weight when he comes eye-to-eye with the next applicant. He was not here before. James would have remembered.
He’s conscious of his objectification (but brushes the guilt off with ease) when his first thought is ‘I would let that man step on me.’ and his second is more of a vibe that James feels radiating from him; it’s elegance and precision and accidental perfection and power and most of all: control. James forgets that he’s supposed to ask Marlene to fill in, he almost forgets to invite the man inside, but he does remember after a second and greets him with haste.
“Hi, er- come in!”
The man clears his throat quietly before thanking James and following him back into the office.
***
Regulus is about 47 per cent certain that the fit interviewer just checked him out. Like, he’s a little intimidated, he can’t really place it; he’s just insanely attractive, Regulus’ eyes won’t budge from him. Maybe getting a job won’t be so bad after all.
Then he takes a seat and knows instantly that it’s the kind that makes your back hurt. He takes it back. This job will be hell.
“Welcome-” The man checks the sheet in front of him, unprofessionally and earning him a raised eyebrow, “-Regulus? Am I saying that right?”
“Well, I grew up hearing it with a French pronunciation, but Regulus is fine.”
“Are you sure? I can pick up different ways of saying names easily, so I can say it the French way if you say it to me.”
“It’s fine don’t worry.”
The fake smile he puts on is tight.
“Well, I'm James, nice to meet you. Your manager would be Marlene, but she’s tasked me with interviewing today, so you get me, unfortunately.”
Regulus doesn’t think it’s that unfortunate.
He just smiles again, trying to put himself at ease. He really needs this job, and he has to do better than Sirius. Sirius who was bragging about his great people-skills this morning: the dickhead. Regulus needs to prove him wrong. He also really needs the money. So, he jumps right into his skills and aspirations, and some bullshit about being ‘great with new people’ and ‘such an extrovert’ when James asks him about himself.
The words struggle to get past the lump in his throat. The thing is, Regulus grew up rich, like the kind of rich the middle classes dream of, and lower classes don’t let themselves imagine. And now he’s here: applying for this stupid job in customer service so he can pay for rent and food. It’s humbling. Almost makes him miss his parents (just kidding, it actually almost makes him want to hurry along their deaths a little).
Despite the lies, or perhaps because of them, James seems enchanted. His pupils are dilated to the point at which Regulus notices.
“Do you have any questions for me?”
Shit. He had written out a list on his phone earlier, he should remember. All he can remember right now is how he saw a magazine with a cover of a man who looks just like his interviewer. Maybe he should ask if that was him.
But no, after a moment Regulus’ rational brain kicks in.
“I’d love to hear about moving up in the company: how long it might take to become supervisor or manager and then obviously to corporate, things like that.”
“Good question, um, the last store manager actually did end up moving up after about fourteen years in his position. Sad to see him go obviously, but we were proud of him. And the floor supervisor right now is Lily and when you see her doing her job you will not want to take it from her. She’s brilliant.” Then he drops his voice down into almost a whisper, “This really isn’t a great place to enter the company if you want a higher-up role though, like it just doesn’t happen that they hire from their branches much. But cool aspiration, I respect it.”
“Oh, okay.” Regulus tries not to sound disappointed, “And, I was wondering why you’re hiring. Did someone leave? Are you expanding? That kind of thing.”
“Just a fire. Some people got too hurt to return, or too scared, and left.”
It’s enough to break Regulus’ professional act.
“Sorry, I must have misheard you. Just a fire?”
“Oh yeah, it wasn’t too bad. And everything is closed off right now in that section while it’s being fixed. The guy who lit the sofa on fire is banned, don’t worry.”
And Regulus is expected to work here? It’s a fire hazard! The customers want to KILL him!
He thinks about marching out, but something about the man in front of him’s smile keeps him glued to his seat. He exhales heavily and says, “That’s all my questions.” before he’s told that he should expect a phone call by Wednesday.
He gets up to leave, thanking James, but before he can turn the man whispers, “I think you’ll be in luck- you've done great.”
When he returns to the corridor- functioning as a waiting room- his brother looks at him quizzically before smirking and raising his eyebrows at the blush on Regulus’ cheeks. Regulus flips him off before walking to the car park to wait in Sirius’ disaster of an old car.
***
Sirius is desperate to be a personality hire- it's his only option with his lack of qualifications. But, really, what else are they looking for at a supermarket if not personality?
He almost shakes off James’ hand in his eagerness, then strolls into the office after him.
“Sirius Black,” he reads off of the paper in front of him before looking up, “How are you today?”
Sirius is laughing as he says, “Did you just read my name from the sheet? Could you not remember looking over it before the interview started?”
James laughs too and responds, “I’m not memorizing shit, they don’t pay enough for me to be remembering names now as well.”
“You won’t remember my name once you’ve hired me?”
“Nah, I will. I know people’s names but, like, I just struggle to remember things sometimes- and why would I try for people who I'll never even see again?”
“It’s just the kind thing to do.” Sirius mutters this in an obviously fake judgmental tone- it mocks his mother.
“Says Mr. Points-Out-His-Interviewer's-Problems-Immediately!”
They both laugh now, so loudly Sirius wouldn’t be surprised if his brother could hear all the way from his beautiful car.
James is the one to manage speech again; “You really don’t have to be here any longer, you know I’ll put your name down.”
“Oh my god, are you flirting with me!?” He fakes seriousness, and reveals it with a huge laugh only after James worries himself enough to say, “No, no ohmygod I would never, that is not what this is, you’re just funny is all, not-”
“Oh. You were joking. Fuck you! I was scared there for a second.”
Sirius ignores him completely, just laughing. Then; “You’ll tell me about the job by...?”, in a tone that signified that they both knew that he’d get it.
“Well, Wednesday, but-”
Sirius cuts him off, “Perfect, I look forward to hearing from you. Bye-bye now!”
And then he practically prances out of the office, smiling from ear to ear and humming a little under his breath. He comes face to face with an intimidatingly hot woman stood in the hallway, and he pauses for a second before skipping past her- towards Reggie and his intimidatingly hot car.
When he plants himself into the driver's seat he claims, “That went amazingly!” at the same time as Regulus says- calmly as ever- “I got the job.” with a sweet (???) smile. Sirius looks him up and down with a scrutinizing look before turning on the ignition.
Regulus puts on his seatbelt and rolls his eyes at Sirius’ lack of one, opening the door and not shutting it until Sirius does his. Sirius gives in in less than thirty seconds and pulls it over himself and secures it with a click. It’s just that, like, Sirius trusts his baby to get him anywhere safely- the seatbelt feels like it’s undermining her power and his own control of her. But Regulus is a stubborn thing and it’s sometimes better not to argue. Sirius runs his hands over the steering wheel before Regulus says, “Stop caressing the godforsaken car and drive, Sirius.”
“Yeah, yeah, okay.” and then they’re off. Sirius has a feeling, as he pulls out of the car parking space, that this won’t be the last time he visits this store for work. He just hopes it’s for himself and not to drop Regulus off.
***
Dorcas has been waiting in this corridor for a hot minute. And she’s bored. And she needs this job so she can pay rent in full, so it’s not like she can leave. But she really wants to leave.
A head pops round the door- the interviewer’s- and Dorcas thinks it’s been long enough. She’s been waiting for about fifteen minutes since the last guy left his office.
“Dorcas Meadows, come in!”
She smiles tightly and follows the interviewer who is oddly smiling proudly to himself. She makes sure her handshake is strong and he nods at it in appreciation. She’s got this, Dorcas is so sure she’s got this.
He offers her water, and she takes a sip before she leaps into her qualifications. And they are plentiful.
“I have, let’s see, another job right now as a telemarketer, so in customer service too. I worked at a costa for three years- I became manager there. I worked in a hairdressing salon when I was fifteen all the way up to seventeen.” (for fourteen months, but Dorcas knows how to brag), “And I’ve been babysitting my little cousins for about fourteen years. I’m qualified, I am so qualified. I can deal with any situation and-”
“-Okay what would you do if I turned... green right now?”
She looks blankly back at the interviewer for a moment before, “I’d check you for allergies and then call nine-nine-nine for an ambulance.”
“What about if your teeth started growing, and they didn’t stop? But, like, not bigger just longer?”
“Um, I think I'd wonder if I was going insane, leave the office so you didn’t have to see them and then call the emergency services again.”
“Dorcas Meadows, I hate to break it to you but they wouldn’t believe you.”
“Sorry?”
“This is so bad, like you shouldn’t do this, but when I was seven I got lonely and bored and I called nine-nine-nine and told them my teeth had started growing but they didn’t stop- but, like, not bigger just longer. They didn’t believe me.”
“Am I in a simulation? Is that what this is?”
“I know it was immature, but I was only seven.” He looks concerned now, like his reputation is somehow on the line for this information and not the what-if game in the middle of her interview.
“That is not what I'm worried about.”
“Oh. I don’t know how much I like you anymore. This is rude.”
“Wha- Oh! You’re doing this because customers will be weird, you’re seeing how I'd deal with it! Oh my god. I get it. Thank god, I thought you were just crazy.”
“Oh! Yeah, er, my manager told me I had to do that.” He sounds a little dejected, but Dorcas could not be more relieved.
She smiles and nods- what a weird manager.
“You did great though, and you’ll hear from us by Wednesday. It was lovely to have you in today, Dorcas Meadows.”
Dorcas smiles and thanks him, the full name-calling and the thing about teeth was strange but she thinks it went well. And she’s grinning as she leaves the office, passing a sleeping woman with blond hair. Although the woman surely can’t be waiting for an interview because she has on the uniform jacket and a name pin- Pandora. This store is so weird, but Dorcas matches it with her weird excitement to hear back about the job. This’ll be a great chapter of her life, she thinks, and smiles at the thought.