Chapter 8
Hermione savored her ice cream. Another couple of days had passed, most of it in her headspace with lots of naps, but she had awoken that morning feeling herself and, most importantly, without a headache. It was good timing, since her Hogwarts letter had arrived with the new supply list, along with a letter from Ginny asking if she’d like to go shopping together.
Now she sat with Ginny, Harry, and Ron at Fortescue’s, the group deciding to get ice cream and catch up on the past couple of weeks before going around Diagon Alley. Marlene and Sirius had come along as well, of course, in case Hermione or Harry needed them, but since both were feeling like themselves and were with the Weasleys, they’d decided to go have a pint at the Leaky Cauldron.
“So, how old is your headspace?” Ron asked suddenly, looking up at Hermione. Ginny slapped him on the arm.
“All the tact of a Blast-Ended Skrewt, Ronald, I swear…don’t mind him, Hermione, you don’t have to answer anything,” Ginny said, glaring at her brother while he rubbed where she hit him.
“No, it’s okay,” Hermione said, though her cheeks flushed. “I, um, fall pretty young…toddler-aged, really.”
“Does that mean when you stress about your NEWTs we can just pop a dummy in your mouth?” Ginny asked. Hermione looked up, face turning beet red, but she saw no malice in Ginny’s eyes, only light hearted teasing. The soft expression on her face was enough to let Hermione relax into a chuckle.
“I suppose so, really.”
“Wait, why can she comment on it and I can’t?” Ron asked.
“Because I’m funny and you’re a dunce.”
“I’m older than you,” Harry said, jumping in to interrupt the bickering. “Sirius figures I’m about six or so.”
“And very cute, too,” Ginny said, reaching to pinch Harry’s cheek.
“Wait, they’ve seen you dropped?” Hermione asked curiously.
“Oh, yeah, you haven’t heard,” Harry replied, setting down his now-empty ice cream bowl. “Sirius got asked to teach Transfiguration, since McGonagall’s the headmistress now. While he was meeting with her, I was dropped and couldn’t come back up, so he asked Mrs. Weasley to babysit.”
“It was a nice afternoon,” Ginny said. “Even Ron behaved.”
“Oi!”
“Mrs. Weasley let me help make a cake,” Harry continued. “And then she put safety charms on my broom so Ron and I could still play Quidditch.”
“He’s still a bloody good Seeker, even when he’s dropped,” Ron added. “It’s not fair, really.”
Hermione furrowed her brow as she took this in, looking back and forth between all of them. She couldn’t find the words for what she wanted to ask, every sentence coming to her mind feeling wrong. Thankfully, Ginny sensed her discomfort and reached out to place a hand on her shoulder.
“Nothing has to change, Mione,” she said gently. “Weasleys may tend to be Neutrals, but we grew up knowing that Littles and Caregivers are a fact of life. We’re still your friends, even when you’re feeling small.”
Hermione nodded, biting her lip slightly, before she shook herself from her thoughts.
“Wait, Harry, how is Sirius teaching going to work with you? Aren’t you joining the Auror program?”
The trio had all been invited, once Voldemort was defeated, to go ahead and begin training as Aurors, seventh year be damned. Hermione immediately turned it down, as she wanted to finish her education before she made any career decisions, but the boys had been considering it, last she heard.
“I, um, turned it down,” Harry stammered, his cheeks flushing now. “Talking with Sirius, I just…I’ve fought Dark wizards since I was a baby. I’m done with that now, I think. So I’m going back to school, and then after I graduate Sirius is going to see how my headspace is before agreeing to teach a second year.”
Hermione’s eyebrows raised at that, both at Harry deciding to go back to school, but also the realization that they’d both still be Little after their 7th year ended. Would she still get to stay with Marlene? How would that work? Would she have to find another Caregiver? She bit her lip hard at the thought, she couldn’t imagine-
“Hermione, you’re spiraling,” Ginny said calmly, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. “Whatever is going on in there, it can be discussed and figured out later, okay? Promise.”
“Right,” Hermione said, shaking the thoughts away again. She could ask Marlene later. “Well, Harry, I’m glad to hear you’ll be coming back to school.”
“I think I am, too,” Harry agreed. “I hear Neville is coming back, as well.”
“I’m joining the Aurors,” Ron said. “Seamus and Dean got offered, too, once the Ministry got the full list of Dumbledore’s Army.”
“I even got offered,” Ginny said, “but I want to finish school. Besides, I had enough of Dark magic my first year of Hogwarts, thank you, I don’t care to continue dealing with it if I don’t have to.”
“Hear hear,” Harry said, raising his empty ice cream in a mock cheers. “Anyway, are we all ready to shop? The book list looks a mile long this year.”
Hermione followed her friends, allowing herself to be swept away in conversations of homework and NEWTs, grateful that at least one of her best friends would be returning to school with her.
Marlene held her pint between her hands, staring down into the mug.
“I just want to do it all right this time,” she said, avoiding eye contact with Sirius. They were in a booth in the corner, away from listening ears. “I feel like I mucked it all up last time.”
“Nonsense. You took marvelous care of Dorcas, you’re not responsible for what happened to her,” Sirius said. “Surely you don’t blame yourself for Voldemort’s doings.”
“No, but I do blame myself for running after I lost her.”
“You were grieving, and you didn’t know how far he would go. Everyone knew she was your Little girl, a bond even most Dark wizards tend to hold sacred, and he attacked that. No one blamed you for disappearing, you know.”
“I know,” Marlene sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “But…Lily wrote me, when she was pregnant. Saying that if things were different, and safer, and I felt okay being around them, she wanted to name me Harry’s godmother.”
Sirius fidgeted with his mug, and Marlene could tell this wasn’t news to him. She continued.
“If I had been around, and she’d done that, he never would have gone to live with those horrible Muggles,” Marlene said, pausing to take a large swig of her drink. “Hell, maybe I could have even kept you from Azkaban.”
“Maybe,” Sirius agreed, “but only because you would have beaten me to Peter.”
“I never liked him, you know,” Marlene admitted. “I just didn’t say anything, because how do you tell your best mates that their friend is, well…”
“A rat?” Sirius provided helpfully, and Marlene kicked him under the table, even as she chuckled.
“Well, he lived up to his Animagus, that’s for sure.” She knocked back the rest of her drink. If it wasn’t for the possibility of a Little girl needing her later, she’d order a second round.
“Marls,” Sirius said gently, “no one blames you. For any of this. And you can’t blame yourself either. What happened happened, and we can’t take it back, but if you think about it, we’ve been given another chance.”
Marlene looked up, ignoring how the corners of her eyes were stinging, a knot forming in her throat at the soft look on Sirius’ face.
“Harry was sent to a terrible place, and yes, the trauma is probably why he was classified as he was…but I get to help him now. I get to help him have a childhood that he was denied. You have another precious Little girl, and while she’ll never replace Dorcas, you get to honor Dorcas by stepping up to be an amazing Caregiver once more.”
Marlene sniffed, wiping the tears that threatened to fall.
“When the fuck did you get so insightful?” She said, laughing even as more tears fell.
“I’ve always been insightful,” Sirius huffed, though he winked mischievously. “You’ve just been too stubborn to admit it.”
Marlene kicked him again, before wiping her eyes once more and taking a deep breath, forcing herself to stay calm.
“Well,” she said, “I’m glad to know you’ll be at the school with me this year. Even if I think McGonagall is absolutely batty for putting you in charge of children.”
“Ah, well, she didn’t make me Head of Gryffindor, so she’s still got some sense on her,” Sirius laughed.
“Good on Charlie Weasley to come home, too,” Marlene said. “He’ll be great at it. What’s a bunch of kids compared to Romanian dragons?”
“Fair point. Anyway, come on, let’s see if those kids have gotten any shopping done,” Sirius said as he rose, holding out a hand to help Marlene stand. She took it gratefully.
“Ten Galleons says they’re all at Quality Quidditch Supplies and Hermione’s trying to drag them out,” she said, linking her arm with Sirius’ as they walked.
“You’re on.”