Chapter 9
Marlene waved her wand to get the dishes washing themselves before entering her living room. Hermione was on the sofa, feet tucked underneath her as she read through one of her schoolbooks, Crookshanks curled protectively next to her. She noticed the girl’s eyes look up at her, searching for something as she had done all afternoon, though she couldn’t figure out what.
“Alright, out with it,” Marlene said finally. “You’ve had something on your mind all day. What is it?”
Hermione bit her lip, which Marlene was learning was one of the girl’s tells that something bothered her. She watched as Hermione carefully placed a bookmark in her book, setting it down and fidgeting with her shirt as she searched for the words.
“Did something happen at Diagon Alley?” Marlene asked, once it was clear Hermione wasn’t ready to speak yet. “I thought you and your friends had a good time.”
“We did,” Hermione murmured. “I found out today that Harry is going back to school.”
“Sirius mentioned that,” Marlene said. “And he said he was taking over as Transfiguration professor, I suppose Harry mentioned that as well?”
“He did,” Hermione nodded. “For this year, at least. He said he and Sirius would talk about Harry’s headspace and everything before Sirius agrees to teach a second year.”
Marlene pursed her lips. She could see where this conversation was going, but wasn’t sure yet which part had the girl upset.
“He told me that,” Marlene said carefully. “Because Harry’s headspace is so new, he doesn’t want to make any big commitments. But going while Harry will be there seemed like a good idea to him.”
“It does,” Hermione murmured, and she bit her lip again. Marlene waited a moment, giving her time to process what she wanted to ask, and was rewarded when she finally looked up.
“What’s going to happen at the end of this school year?”
“Well,” Marlene said, “I’ve always been a ‘we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it’ type, but I have a feeling that answer won’t satisfy you. What do you want to happen?”
Hermione bit her lip hard this time, and when she made eye contact with Marlene she could see tears shimmering in the girl’s eyes.
“I don’t want to leave.”
“Darling, no,” Marlene said quickly, crossing the room to sit next to Hermione, immediately wrapping her in a ight embrace. “You wouldn’t have to leave, not if you don’t want to.”
“But, you’re teaching-“
“For this year,” Marlene finished. “And then I took you in, and even if I plan to teach next year, I could teach and still be your Caregiver. You do know not every professor at Hogwarts has to live at the school full-time, right?”
Hermione halted, and Marlene immediately realized she did not, in fact, know that. It was a common misconception, of course, since so many teachers did choose to live at the castle, so she went on to explain.
“The House heads always are full time tenants, of course, so they can be there for their Houses at all hours. And many teachers do choose to live at the castle to make it easy, if they’re single and don’t have families. But there’s plenty that live in the hamlets surrounding Hogsmeade, or even that just go home through the Floo at night.”
“I didn’t know that,” Hermione squeaked. “It just seemed like they are always there.”
“Many are, but not all of them,” Marlene said. “Some may also stay the week but go home on weekends. I’m sure if you sat and thought it through, you’d be able to think of a few professors you rarely saw outside of class.”
“Oh,” Hermione said softly.
“I appreciate you being concerned for my career,” Marlene continued, “but it’s alright. I can take care of you and teach, even after you graduate, if that’s what I want to do by then.”
“You think you won’t want to?” Hermione asked, all upset now replaced by curiosity. Marlene would never cease to be amused by her inquisitive nature.
“I have to spend an entire school year dealing with you and Harry in a class, a bunch of other teenagers, and Sirius living right down the hall,” Marlene said, winking. “We’ll see if I survive that before we make any major decisions, eh?”
Hermione finally laughed at that, and Marlene took the small win. The girl relaxed into the sofa, grabbing her book, but she paused once more before opening it.
“Wait, then why is Sirius waiting to see how Harry does?”
“Well,” Marlene said, running fingers through her hair, “that’s a question for him, really. Could be he’s not sure on being a teacher. Could be that Harry’s headspace is even less stable than yours right now. If I had to guess, though, I think he just wants to make up for lost time with Harry.”
Hermione nodded, accepting the answer as she opened her book. Marlene finally looked and realized it was the book for her class.
“You know you don’t have to study just yet,” Marlene chuckled. “I didn’t set any summer homework, and your Caregiver is the professor of that particular class, anyway.”
“I know,” Hermione said, “but I still wanted a good start, and this book was on top of the pile for this year.”
“Well, if you’re all set to study, I’m going to work on my lesson plans in my office. Promise you’ll come get me if you need me?”
“I promise.”
“Good,” Marlene said, standing up. She went to step into her office, but stopped and turned back to Hermione.
“Oh, and anytime something is bothering you, all you have to do is tell me,” Marlene said gently. “I’m always happy to help you, in headspace or out, but I can’t help you if you don’t tell me something’s wrong.”
Hermione looked up at her, a strange look in her eye, as if she was wrestling with something. Marlene nearly asked when Hermione nodded, signaling she understood, so instead she leaned down to kiss her on top of the head before stepping into the office.
Hermione read the letter again and again. She’d finally set her book down, eyes blurry from reading for the past few hours, to see Sirius’ owl perched by the window. She opened it and gave the owl a treat before opening a letter from Harry.
Her eyes still felt blurry, and the funny pull started in her stomach. She’d learned this was the start of her headspace creeping up. She wanted to fight it, to go to bed and wake up her normal age, able to prepare for schoolwork, and deal with the idea of this letter tomorrow. But the pull was definitely there, and she knew ignoring it too long would lead to a headache.
Besides, wasn’t it nice to be cared for? To not have worries? To finally relax, really relax? She wanted to give in, but the letter gnawed at her. She rubbed her eyes, too tired to fight this battle, so she found herself walking into Marlene’s office.
“Marlene?”
The woman looked up from her desk, where textbooks and parchments were spread out. Something about Hermione must have tipped her off, because she immediately put her quill down and wrapped the girl in a hug. Hermione buried her face, thankful for the moment that if she had to be Little, she at least got a Caregiver taller than her.
“What’s wrong, love?” Marlene asked, holding her close.
“Might be dropping,” Hermione mumbled.
“That’s alright, darling,” Marlene said. “Remember, you haven’t really settled yet. It might be a few weeks of frequent drops before your mind settles and can stick to one headspace or the other for longer periods.”
“Not why I’m sad,” Hermione whined, hating how quickly the fuzzy feelings took over. She held up the letter from Harry, burying her face in Marlene’s shirt again as the woman read the letter.
“So Harry is going to have a birthday party, in headspace,” Marlene said carefully. “Are you nervous to drop in front of everyone?”
Hermione nodded, sniffling despite herself. Damn her young headspace. Marlene mumbled something and then picked the girl up, carrying her into the next room so she could deposit them both on the sofa and pull the girl in her lap.
“Darling,” Marlene started, fingers combing through her hair as she spoke, “you don’t have to drop in front of them, you know. Harry even mentions in his letter that it’s up to you.”
“I know,” Hermione sighed. “But I don’t want him to drop alone on his birthday, plus…they’re going to see me dropped at school anyway, probably, and…” she trailed off.
“So this isn’t about Harry’s birthday,” Marlene surmised. “This made you think about how you’ll likely need to drop in front of people at all, hm?”
Hermione nodded, hiding again.
“It’s alright, it’s normal to be nervous,” Marlene said. Hermione pressed her ear against the woman’s chest, finding herself soothed by the hum of the woman speaking as she continued. “But the Weasleys will be a safe family to try it out with, don’t you think?”
“I suppose,” Hermione said. “But I’m scared.”
“I’ll be right there with you,” Marlene said. “And at any point, either at Harry’s birthday or at school, if you get too uncomfortable, just say the word and we’ll find a solution. I promise.”
Hermione pondered it. Marlene had kept her word about everything so far, and while she didn’t want to miss Harry’s birthday, it was nice to know she could leave if it got to be too much. And it would be a good practice run. She was disrupted from her thoughts by Marlene grabbing her fingers, which she hadn’t even realized were heading towards her mouth. Marlene offered her dummy instead.
“For tonight, love, let’s go get ready for bed, hm? We can sleep on it and make decisions in the morning,” Marlene announced, standing and lifting Hermione with her.
Hermione furrowed her brows, looking down at the dummy in her mouth before looking up at Marlene.
“How?”
Marlene laughed. “Caregivers tend to have an easier time at wandless magic, since our hands are usually full,” she explained. “Now, are you ready for a bath?”
“Bubbles?”
“Bubbles,” she agreed, and Hermione laid her head on Marlene’s shoulder as she was carried to the bathroom, finally letting the fuzzy feeling fully take over for the night.