Chapter 7
Hermione had played all morning, leading to her needing a long nap after lunch. When she awoke, the warm fuzzy feeling seemed to have dissipated, replaced by a dull ache in her head. She spat out her dummy and groaned.
“What’s wrong?” Marlene asked, standing from her armchair and moving to the sofa where she’d tucked Hermione in earlier.
“Big again,” Hermione grumbled. “Is it always going to include a headache?”
“Just while you settle,” Marlene said, sitting next to the girl and summoning a glass of water. “Some Littles have a hard time staying in headspace their first few drops, so they don’t stay long enough to fully get rid of the physical side effects. Looks like you’re in that category.”
“Lucky me.”
“I can help you drop again, if you like,” Marlene offered, “but first, while you’re feeling big, I wanted to talk to you about a few things. Mostly how you’d prefer I treat you when you’re feeling Little, now that we have an idea of where your headspace is.”
“Don’t you just…take care of me?” Hermione was confused. She was under the impression that Marlene would just do whatever she would for any small child. How did her preference even matter?
“Yes, of course. Some decisions I’ll have to make in your best interest, the same way it was decided you’d liv with me,” Marlene explained patiently. “But even if your headspace is younger, you’re still an adult, and you get to have a say in how some things go, as long as it’s within reason.”
“Within reason?” Hermione asked. Marlene made a face, like she was thinking, before launching into an example.
“You can’t outright refuse to drop, for example, because that would be harmful to your health, right? But if there’s certain events you want to be big for, we can have a system set up where I can help you out of headspace, and we can set up a safety net to make sure that can happen without harming you.”
“Oh, that…makes sense.”
“And because your headspace is young—“
“I’m sorry,” Hermione said suddenly. “I don’t mean to be, really—“
“Hermione,” Marlene cut in, “it’s okay. You can’t help your headspace, and I was prepared for you to be any age when Ms. Figg called me. If it’s any consolation, your headspace may still vary as you go along, but even if it doesn’t it’s absolutely fine.”
“Are you sure?” Hermione sat on her hand to prevent her fingers going to her mouth, her worries of burdening others swelling into that fuzzy feeling again. She didn’t want to be too much.
“Positive,” Marlene said firmly. “Besides, Dorcas dropped to infant level, so I’m well prepared for you to drop as young as your brain needs you to be.”
Hermione nodded, biting her lip.
“Let’s go over a couple more things quickly, and then I’ll go and cook dinner,” Marlene said, and Hermione felt her examining her face. She nodded in response and let Marlene continue.
Hermione followed Marlene’s lead as they discussed rules and guidelines on things like baths, getting dressed, anything that Marlene would ever need to help Hermione with. Her face soured when the discussion turned to diapers.
“I won’t need a nappy,” Hermione insisted stubbornly. “Even if I’m very young, I won’t! I potty trained very young.”
“I won’t make you wear one if you don’t need it,” Marlene replied, trying to soothe her. “But it won’t be a problem at all if you do end up needing something, even if it’s just at night. I just wanted to get your feelings before you drop to a space where it becomes a necessity.”
Hermione grunted her disagreement, this time not stopping herself from biting on her nails. Marlene had emphasized that she got to have opinions, as long as it didn’t harm her. She had a feeling this would be the discussion that tested that theory.
“Hermione,” Marlene said softly, moving to pull the girl’s hands away from her mouth, “we can talk more about it later, if it becomes necessary.”
“It won’t,” Hermione pouted.
“I hope not,” Marlene said. “Does your head still hurt? Would you like to drop for a while?”
Hermione sat and thought it over, even as the dull ache pressed at her behind her eyes. Still, she wanted to process this conversation now, and she hadn’t talked to Harry since he dropped and she wanted to check on him and let him know she’d started to drop, too. Ron and Ginny would probably also wonder.
“After dinner? I want to write to my friends.” Her voice was small, but Hermione pushed against the fuzzy feeling, determined to get this done.
“Don’t push too hard, but that should be alright,” Marlene agreed. “I’m going to start on dinner, but you come get me if your head hurts any worse, deal?”
“Deal,” Hermione nodded. She watched Marlene walk into the kitchen before heading into her room, pulling out her parchment and starting her letters.
***
Hermione had stayed out of headspace through dinner (Marlene made pasta and she refused to risk getting sauce all over herself), but the dull ache in her head was becoming a persistent throb.
“Hermione, love, it’s time to give in,” Marlene said, squeezing her shoulder before reaching around and taking her dishes for her. “You’ve had a headache for a while now.”
Hermione bit her lip, but she was inclined to agree. It had felt nice earlier, that floaty boneless feeling, and she was so tired and tense.
“Help?” Hermione asked. Her fingers started towards her mouth, but Marlene caught them and held her hand gently.
“I can help,” she promised. “I know we discussed you being open to baths earlier, why don’t we go take one now, hm? I got some new bubbles that change colors.”
“Bubbles?” Hermione’s eyes went wide, and at Marlene’s nod she immediately put her arms up to be lifted. Marlene laughed as she picked the girl up, and Hermione let her head rest on her shoulder as she was carried to the bathroom. By the time they had arrived, her fingers had made their way into her mouth.
“No yucky fingers, little one,” Marlene chuckled, and with a wave of her wand Hermione’s lion dummy was summoned. Hermione reached for it as it arrived, popping it in her mouth immediately while Marlene started the tap in the bathtub.
“Did you want help undressing,” she asked, turning to Hermione after being satisfied with the water temperature, “or do you want to do it yourself?”
Hermione automatically went to grab at her shirt, but the boneless feeling had spread throughout her body. She yanked to pull her arm out of her shirt but it got stuck halfway, and after flailing to try and get it out for a minute she whined at Marlene.
“I’ll help you, darling,” Marlene said, laughing as she freed the girl from her prison. Marlene took over, getting her undressed and setting the girl gently in the tub.
Hermione cooed at the bubbles that had formed, bringing a hand down to smack at a large purple one on the top. It popped, only to be replaced by smaller green ones, causing her to giggle in delight.
“We like bubbles then, hm?” Marlene said, and Hermione nodded enthusiastically, popping and watching them change colors and sizes as Marlene gently bathed her, only whining when she had to spit out her dummy to wash her face.
“All done, love,” Marlene said as she finished rinsing her hair. “Keep playing with the bubbles if you like. We’ll have to get you some bath toys, too.”
“Toys?” Hermione’s head snapped up as she looked at Marlene with wide brown eyes, voice slurred slightly by the dummy she kept in her mouth.
“Of course. We’ll go get you some bath toys one day soon, promise.”
Hermione grinned, smacking the bubbles once more in delight. She splashed around for a few more moments, giggling as she did so, before she let out a loud yawn.
“Ready to get out, little one?” Marlene prompted, reaching to grab a towel. Hermione pouted, but the effect was ruined by another yawn. As Marlene reached out for her, she whined but held her arms up, allowing herself to be scooped up in the towel. It was warm, and she let out a soft hum as Marlene wrapped her up.
“Stasis charm,” the woman explained with a wink. “Let’s get you dressed.”
Hermione let herself be carried to her room, rubbing her eyes and not even attempting to dress herself. Marlene automatically took over, getting her dressed in soft pajamas before setting the girl in front of her to brush out her hair. By the time Marlene had finished, she was nearly nodding off.
“Time for bed,” Marlene said, reaching to lift her, but Hermione’s eyes snapped open. Not bed. Bed was bad. Bed meant sleep and sleep meant that bad lady would come back. Marlene wouldn’t let that happen, right?
“No sleep!” Hermione announced, crossing her arms in defiance. Marlene looked at her, clear confusion on her face.
“It’s late, darling. It’s time for bed now, we need to go to sleep.”
“No!”
Hermione watched Marlene search her face, and felt hot tears filling her eyes. Didn’t Marlene know about the bad lady? Hadn’t she told her? Marlene finally nodded as if she could hear her thoughts.
“Are you scared to sleep alone, little one?”
The dam had burst. Hermione felt the tears spill over her cheeks, wails muffled by her dummy as she threw herself at Marlene.
“Bad lady,” she sobbed. “Hurt me. Come back!”
“Oh, no, sweetie, she won’t come back,” Marlene soothed. “Mrs. Weasley made her go away, and no bad people are coming to get you here, I promise.”
Hermione just continued to cry. What if Marlene was wrong? What if she didn’t really go away? She promised to make Hermione pay for breaking into her vault, and she was really powerful, and scary, and her knife—
“Breathe, darling,” Marlene said, interrupting her thoughts. “Just breathe. It’s alright, I promise, she won’t get you anymore.”
“Find me.”
“She won’t,” Marlene repeated. “And if she does, I’ll fight her myself. You don’t have to worry about her, sweet girl, not as long as I’m here.”
“No leave,” Hermione begged, clutching even harder to Marlene’s shirt.
“I won’t leave, little love. Come on, I’ll stay in here with you tonight.”
Marlene moved and gently pulled Hermione’s hands off her shirt long enough to lay the girl down, quickly laying down beside her before she could protest. She summoned the girl’s bunny, which Hermione immediately took and held tight to her chest.
“Stay?” Hermione asked, one hand grabbing hold of Marlene’s shirt once more.
“Of course, my little lion cub,” he replied. Marlene pulled Hermione close, letting the girl lay her head on her chest as she started humming a lullaby once more.
Hermione kept one hand up clutching Marlene’s shirt, determined to prevent the woman from leaving her alone. She didn’t want to be alone again. She held tight, listening to Marlene’s heartbeat and lullaby and sucking on her dummy until she finally, blissfully, slipped off to sleep.