Christmas morning in the Potter-Snape-Evans household was a cacophony of laughter, shouting, and mild magical explosions—exactly how it always was. Severus Snape, trying desperately to maintain some semblance of order, was already on his second cup of coffee, his hair tied back with a ribbon Lily had enchanted to sparkle with tiny snowflakes.
“Why am I wearing this again?” Severus asked, narrowing his eyes at Lily, who was wrapping last-minute presents with her wand and looking far too amused.
“Because it’s festive, Severus, and you look adorable,” Lily replied, blowing him a kiss.
“I do not ‘do’ adorable,” he muttered, tugging at the ribbon.
“Too late, Sev,” James said from the couch, wearing a Santa hat tilted jauntily over his messy hair and lounging in his flashing "World’s Best Dad" jumper. “You’ve officially been Christmas-ified.”
Severus glared at James. “If by ‘Christmas-ified,’ you mean turned into a living target for your idiotic pranks, then yes, Potter, congratulations.”
“Oh, come on,” James grinned. “It’s tradition!”
At that moment, Harry bolted into the living room, dragging a half-wrapped gift behind him. “Mum! Dad! Dada! Sirius and Remus are here!”
Before anyone could react, the Floo roared to life, and Sirius Black tumbled through, brushing soot off his robes and grinning widely. “Merry Christmas, you bunch of lunatics!”
Remus Lupin followed more gracefully, carrying a tin of homemade biscuits. “Please tell me the chaos hasn’t started yet.”
“It started the moment I woke up,” Severus deadpanned, gesturing at his glittery ribbon.
Sirius howled with laughter. “Snivellus, is that a ribbon in your hair? Oh, this is too good. Hold still—let me get a picture.”
“If you take one step closer, Black, I will hex you into the New Year,” Severus warned, wand in hand.
“Play nice, you two,” Lily said, flicking her wand to summon drinks for their guests.
“Nice? Where’s the fun in that?” Sirius asked, flopping onto the couch next to James and stealing his Santa hat.
Remus sighed, handing the biscuits to Lily. “Why do I let him out of the house?”
“I ask myself the same thing about James,” Severus muttered, earning a grin from Lily and an indignant “Hey!” from James.
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Breakfast Chaos
Once everyone had gathered in the kitchen, James insisted on taking charge of breakfast.
“I’ve got this, I promise,” he said confidently, summoning ingredients with a flourish of his wand.
“You’re going to burn the house down,” Severus said, watching as pancake batter splattered across the counter and James tried to juggle three eggs at once.
“He’s trying,” Lily said with a laugh, leaning against Severus.
“He’s failing,” Severus replied, catching an egg midair with his wand before it hit the floor.
By the time breakfast was “ready,” the kitchen looked like a war zone. Pancake batter dripped from the ceiling, there was flour in Sirius’s hair, and somehow, the scrambled eggs tasted like peppermint.
“These eggs are cursed,” Severus declared, setting his fork down.
“I thought I’d try a Christmas twist!” James said proudly.
“It tastes like a candy cane and regret,” Severus deadpanned, summoning a plate of toast Lily had made as a backup.
Meanwhile, Harry was sneaking bits of sausage to Padfoot, who wagged his tail enthusiastically.
Sirius leaned back, grinning. “I’m starting to think I should’ve married into this family instead.”
“Trust me, you’re better off as a visitor,” Severus muttered, sipping his coffee.
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Gift-Giving Shenanigans
After breakfast, everyone gathered in the living room for presents. Harry tore into his gifts with the enthusiasm of a kid who’d just discovered Christmas was an unlimited free-for-all.
“Quidditch gloves! Thanks, Mum! Thanks, Dad!” he shouted, hugging Lily and James before running to show Sirius.
“Open ours next!” Sirius said, tossing Harry a brightly wrapped box. Inside was a miniature, enchanted Marauder’s Map.
“It only shows the garden and the house,” Remus clarified. “We thought it might be safer for now.”
“Wicked!” Harry exclaimed, running to test it out.
Then came the adults’ turn. James handed Severus a large, oddly shaped package. “This one’s from me and Lily.”
Severus opened it cautiously, revealing a deep green sweater with silver trim and a large ‘S’ on the front.
“It’s enchanted to repel stains!” Lily said proudly.
“And it glows in the dark,” James added with a cheeky grin.
Severus stared at it for a long moment. “You expect me to wear this?”
“Of course!” Lily said, pulling on her own blue sweater with a silver ‘L.’
James modeled his matching red-and-gold jumper, and even Sirius had a black-and-red sweater with ‘Padfoot’ written in cursive.
Remus held up his own brown-and-gold one with ‘Moony’ stitched on it and shrugged. “Peer pressure.”
Reluctantly, Severus pulled the sweater over his robes. Sirius immediately conjured a camera, snapping a picture before Severus could hex him.
“You’re glowing, Snivellus!” Sirius teased.
“Black, I will make you eat that camera,” Severus growled.
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The Great Snowball War
The snowball fight began innocently enough—or at least as innocently as things ever got in the Potter-Snape household.
It started with Harry tossing a snowball at James. He missed entirely, but the snowball instead hit Sirius, who had just stepped outside to join them.
“Oi! Who threw that?” Sirius demanded, brushing snow off his leather jacket.
Harry grinned mischievously. “Dunno. Maybe the wind?”
Sirius’s eyes narrowed, and with a flick of his wand, a perfectly compact snowball zoomed straight at Harry. It would’ve hit its mark if Harry hadn’t ducked at the last second, sending the snowball flying… directly into Severus’s face.
The garden went silent.
Severus stood still, slowly wiping snow off his scowling face. “Who,” he said with deadly calm, “was responsible for this?”
Sirius, never one to shy away from danger, grinned like a fool. “Oh, lighten up, Snape. It’s Christmas!”
James, sensing the impending doom, called out, “Run, Padfoot!”
But Sirius was too slow. With a wave of his wand, Severus conjured a volley of snowballs that pelted Sirius relentlessly.
Lily, who had been watching from the sidelines, doubled over laughing. “Oh, this is too good. Go on, Sev!”
“Oh, no,” James said, diving behind a garden bench for cover. “If he’s in the game, I’m in the game!”
It wasn’t long before the entire garden was transformed into a chaotic battlefield.
Harry and Lily teamed up immediately, their combined efforts a perfect mix of strategy and magic. Lily’s precise aim and Harry’s broomstick agility made them a formidable pair.
Severus, still fuming from the snowball ambush, declared himself a one-man army. With his Slytherin cunning and wand skills, he created enchanted snowball launchers that hovered around him, pelting anyone who came too close.
James and Sirius, true to their Marauder spirit, formed the self-proclaimed "Chaos Brigade." Their strategy involved more taunting than actual aiming, and their enchanted snowballs often went wildly off course.
Remus, as usual, tried to stay out of the madness. He was building a snowman in the corner, quietly enjoying the crisp winter air. That lasted until a stray snowball (courtesy of James) hit him in the back of the head.
Remus sighed, dusted the snow off his scarf, and calmly summoned a snowstorm that buried James up to his neck. “I told you not to involve me,” he said mildly.
“Traitor!” James shouted from his snow pile.
The fight grew more ridiculous by the minute. Harry enchanted his broomstick to carry buckets of snow, dumping them on unsuspecting targets. Lily charmed her snowballs to explode into glitter when they hit, much to Severus’s annoyance.
“Evans!” Severus roared after being hit with a glitter-bomb snowball. “I thought we were allies!”
“You thought wrong, love!” Lily called back, cackling as she conjured another snowball.
James, determined to outdo everyone, attempted to build a magical catapult. He roped Sirius into helping, though it quickly became clear that neither of them had any idea what they were doing.
“Padfoot, hold it steady!” James said, balancing a large snowball on the contraption.
“I am holding it steady!” Sirius replied, his hands slipping on the icy surface.
The catapult launched, but instead of hitting its intended target (Severus), the snowball arced backward and exploded over James and Sirius, leaving them covered in snow.
Lily nearly fell over laughing. “You two are a disaster.”
“We’re innovators,” James said, brushing snow out of his hair.
“Idiots,” Severus corrected, sending a precision-guided snowball directly at James’s face.
Harry, emboldened by his broomstick advantage, decided to take on Severus.
“Dada, you’re going down!” Harry shouted, zooming low over the garden and tossing snowballs at Severus.
Severus deflected them effortlessly with a shield charm, his expression one of cool determination. “Do you really think you can outwit me, Harry?”
“Maybe not,” Harry admitted, looping around. “But I can distract you!”
As Harry shouted, Lily snuck up behind Severus and dumped an entire bucket of snow over his head.
For a moment, all was silent as Severus stood there, snow dripping down his nose. Then, with a flick of his wand, he conjured a wall of snow that separated himself from the others.
“Oh no,” James said, peeking around the edge of the wall. “He’s plotting something.”
Within seconds, the wall exploded outward, sending snow flying in all directions. Severus emerged with a smug smile, his enchanted snowball launchers firing in every direction.
Harry ducked behind a tree, laughing uncontrollably. “Okay, okay, you win, Dada!”
“Wise choice,” Severus said, though his lips twitched as if he were suppressing a smile.
As the sun dipped lower in the sky, Lily finally called for a truce.
“Alright, you lot, time to come inside before we all catch colds,” she said, waving her wand to dry off her coat.
Everyone trudged inside, soaked and laughing. Sirius transformed back into Padfoot, shaking snow everywhere, much to Severus’s irritation.
“Must you?” Severus said, brushing snow off his already damp sweater.
Padfoot wagged his tail in response.
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Winding Down
The group gathered in the living room, wrapping themselves in warm blankets by the fire. Harry was curled up with his new Marauder’s Map, occasionally showing it to Sirius and James, who offered tips on navigating secret passages.
Remus passed around cups of hot cocoa, which Severus grudgingly accepted.
“I’ll admit,” Severus said, his voice soft as he leaned back against the couch, “that was... tolerable.”
“Coming from you, that’s high praise,” James teased, leaning over to kiss Severus’s cheek.
Lily smiled, pulling Severus into a side hug. “We love you too, Sev.”
“Unfortunately,” Severus muttered, though his small smile betrayed him.
Sirius raised his cup. “To chaos, family, and the most glitter-covered Potions Master in the wizarding world!”
Severus rolled his eyes, but as he looked around at his laughing, ridiculous family, he couldn’t help but feel a warmth that had nothing to do with the fire.
It had been chaotic, loud, and utterly absurd, but in the end, it was everything Christmas was meant to be.