Chapter 15
(Fade in. Bellatrix enters.)
V: “Yes…”
BL: “My Dark Lord… You look fabulous.”
V: “Bellatrix Lestrange…”
BL: “Oh, my liege! Tell me it’s going to be like the old days when we do nothing but torture-”
Winces from the students.
BL: “-Murder-”
More unpleasant reactions.
BL: “-And make love?”
The Gryfindoors and Draco grimaced. They did not need to hear about that.
V: “Ah, the old days are back, baby!”
(Voldemort holds Bellatrix in his arms and- well. You can watch for yourself.)
Other than discomfort, a lot of the people in the room also felt slightly disappointed.
“Aww, does this mean he won’t end up with Quirrell?” Ginny mumbled.
“HUH?” asked Harry, who hadn’t caught onto the Quirrelmort romance.
“Dude- Did you not see the romantic tension between them?” Ron asked, laughing. Harry blinked a few times in disbelief. He couldn’t picture the real Voldemort and Quirrell together at all, but somehow, it did kind of make sense.
“What are they talking about?” Snape whispered to Dumbledore.
“Ah, Profesor Snape, oblivious to love. I believe the intention of the actors was to make You-Know-Who and Professor Quirrell have a romantic relationship. I’m sure they’ll mention something about it soon enough.” Snape nodded, not understanding how he hadn’t seen that. It seemed quite far-fetched for the Dark Lord to be interested in… Quirrell. But the way they’d structured their relationship in this musical had changed the narrative, Snape supposed.
BL: “I can’t tell you what it was like without you.”
V: “Well I'm never going again.”
(He drops her.)
V: “‘Cause I've conquered death, and my first pleasure will be to kill Harry Potter, and next, to take over the Ministry of Magic, and rule the world! For all time!”
“Honestly, that sums it up pretty well,” Harry admitted.
BL: “And you will my Lord, but not yet. For now, we must stick to the plan. We blame Potter’s murder on Quirrell so that your return may remain a secret.”
Hermione did a fake gasp, sending the Gryffindors into giggles. Draco crossed his arms.
“I, for one, saw that coming.”
“No you didn’t, Draco.”
BL: “The Death Eaters aren’t prepared to take on the entire Ministry of Magic. Much less Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix.”
QQ: “I’m sorry, what was that about me going to Azkaban for Potter’s murder?”
“Is it weird that I feel kinda bad for him?” Hermione asked.
“No, I think we all do,” Ron responded.
BL: “Ohoho, you shall refer to him as My Lord, My Liege, or my Dark Lord only!”
V: “No no no Bellatrix, it’s a- it’s cool. Quirrell’s cool, Quirrell’s cool, he’s… over the last year he’s proven himself to be a very good fr-”
“Yeah yeah, he’s more than a friend! Right? That’s what he’s gonna say, right?” Ginny asked, losing hope halfway through her sentence.
V: “A very good servant to the will of the Dark Lord.”
“Awwww,” Ron and Ginny mumbled, disappointed.
QQ: “Oh I see, so- so you’re Thomas Jefferson and i’m your Sally Hemings, is that right?”
“Who?” Several people asked at once. The speaker turned on for the first time in a while.
“Uh-” The staticky voice said. “They’re American historical figures. Doesn’t matter too much.”
V: “No! No, Quirrell, that- that came out wrong. It’s not like that.”
QQ: “Isn’t it?”
BL: “Ugh, silence slave. Crucio!”
Those in the room who had ever had that curse set upon them flinched at the memory.
V: “It’s alright, it’s…”
BL: “What’s the matter? He is your pawn! You are his queen!”
“I should tell him that if I ever see him again,” Harry laughed.
BL: “It is an honor to serve the Dark Lord, no matter what the task!”
(Voldy goes over to Qurirell. AWWWWW :3 THEY’RE SILLY AND IN LOVE)
V: “Are you alright?”
QQ: “Did you really know the whole time, you’d blame Potter’s murder on me?”
V: “Yes… yes, I… I knew. But things have changed over the last year, I feel different now-”
QQ: “Don’t touch me.”
“Ooooo,” Ron and Ginny murmured to each other simultaneously, causing them to burst into laughter.
V: “How do I explain this? It’s- It’s like the movie She’s All That.”
“I don’t even want to know,” Draco sighed.
V: “You remember? We watched that together. You remember how at the end Freddie Prinze Jr. turns out to be good?”
QQ: “No. I didn’t see the end because you were watching it, while you were on the back of my head sucking my soul!”
V: “Well I wish there was another way. But I’ve got to take over the world.”
QQ: “Well there it is. I’ll let you know now, but it’s gonna be pretty hard to make that rollerblading date from Azkaban.”
“He called it a date!” Ron whispered to his sister, fully invested in this romance now.
BL: “Death Eaters, take him away. And now you have what you’ve waited for for so long.”
V: “What?”
BL: “Your chance to kill Harry Potter!”
V: “Yes. Kill Potter! Ha- whoa, where’d he go?”
“They didn’t notice you sneak away?” Hermione asked in disbelief.
HP: “You’re not killing me today, Voldemort, but I'll tell you what. I’ll get you some punch!”
(People run around shouting portkey. You know the drill. They’re back at the dance now.)
GW: “Oh my Rowling!”
AD: “What happened, Harry Potter? You… Harry, what the hell are you doing over here? You missed the raffle!”
“Oooh, a raffle. Perhaps the next dance you could implement that,” Dumbledore suggested to Snape.
SS (running in, out of breath.): “What happened in the graveyard?”
HP: “It’s- it’s Voldemort! He’s back!
(fade out).