Chapter 3
TITLE: And now I feel it in my veins
But I don't want to be afraid
“What was that?”
“He was mooning over Black” Pansy says, her voice filled with teasingness.
“WHAT?” Blaise and Draco express their surprise as my cheeks start warming up.
“I didn’t know you liked him” my blond friend says with hurt in his words.
“I don’t like him, I don’t even know him. It’s the first time I talk to him” I try to explain myself. “And thanks for leaving me alone with him, eh!” I say to Pansy, sarcasm filling my words.
“You’re welcome” she responds as her grin gets wider.
I try to change the topic of conversation, talking about tomorrow’s classes and “how was the Quidditch practice today?”, making Blaise start talking animatedly about his obsessions, DADA and Quidditch.
Throughout all this I notice Draco feeling down.
He must be feeling betrayed. I haven’t said anything to him about my dreams and Pansy goes and gives out another secret that I haven’t said to him. But, honestly, there isn’t anything to say.
It is true that I don’t know Caspian Black, I don't have any reason to like him.
Yes, he’s attractive… Objectively.
And I just spend a long time talking to him without trying to find an escape, and this only happens with my friends and my sister Lucy.
But that doesn’t mean anything.
___________________________________
The next morning, as we are having breakfast, Draco receives a letter.
That alone is not a strange occurrence. Every week he gets a letter from his mother and some sweets that, if he’s having a good day, shares with us.
But this time is not the Bengal Eagle owl from his mother that stops at Slytherin table. It’s Lucius Malfoy's Golden Eagle that stops in front of me and Draco.
These letters only arrive once every other month, as his father isn't allowed too much contact outside the Malfoy vila, and this is the first one he received this school year.
Just as I told him of my estranged relationship with my older siblings, Draco has also explained to me his father's situation.
Lucius Malfoy’s name has been in people's mouths since the end of the war, either to praise his place at the end of the fight or to curse his place during said fight. But from Draco Malfoy’s lips it comes out with happiness and fear.
“What does it say?” Blaise asks, noticing the silence from the blonde.
“The usual” he responds and immediately sets the letter on fire.
And with “the usual”, he means something along the lines of: “My father loves me and wants the best for me, but the “best” that he wants is me running the Malfoy’s business and making the family name proud, which is definitely what I don’t want.”
It’s always the same song. And this year appears to be worse. I don’t know the exact words that were in that letter, but it was something more because it’s the first time it ended in flames.
It may be that, as we are in third year and we started doing elective subjects, the pressure of being the best has increased.
But, as I see Draco eating breakfast like the letter didn't affect him at all, I notice how tense he really is and exchange a look with Blaise trying to convey how we could help him.
“What about going to Three Broomsticks this weekend?” I propose.
“What about it?” the blonde responds finally looking up from his breakfast.
“We haven’t gone there yet” Blaise says.
“And I heard that they have the best Butterbeer in England” Pansy adds after finally waking up.
“You probably heard it from Griffindors, because that is so not true” Draco says with an air of superiority. “But I’m willing to try it.”
And from Draco that counts as a yes.
____________________________________
“Riddikulus”
“This class is ridiculous” Draco murmurs under his breath.
“Come one Draco, don't say that” Blaise says, wrapping an arm around the blond’s shoulders.
We cross glances as we notice that Draco’s grumpiness has come back. We should have known that the promise of a good drink and a day out the castle wasn’t going to take away all the words from his father that had infected his head. And now, we’re in a class where we are going to confront our biggest fears, which isn’t helping with the situation.
“Hey, I don't think that we are going to have time for all of us to do the spell. You could go in the back and not do this ridiculous spell” I try to comfort him using the same word he just used to describe the class.
After repeating the word Riddikulus several times, until Professor Lupin dems us prepared, we get told to form a line and I end up closer to the beginning that I wanted. People just kept pushing me and now I’m, what, the seventh place from the beginning and Draco and Blaise are at the bottom of the line.
I turn back to look if they are okay, but they just wave at me teasingly.
“They’re the worst, uh.”
“Salazar, Pansy, you scared me.”
As it is, I’m not the only Slytherin this high up in line, at least if something happens I won’t be alone.
Professor Lupin puts on some music and the fun starts.
Boggarts turning into more funny things, students laughing the fear away and the line getting shorter and shorter.
I don’t really know what my boggart is going to be, I just wish it has nothing to do with my siblings, I definitely don’t want to go there in front of so many people.
Without noticing I find myself at the beginning of the line staring at the boggart trying to decide what could scare me.
The first thing I notice is the cold that creeps my skin just before the boggart turns into a gigantic and beautiful woman. She has skin pale as snow and a stern expression that turns welcoming as she extends her hand towards me.
“Edmund, come” the angelic but cold voice echoes in my head and I froze in body and mind.
I just stare at her.
I JUST STARE AT HER.
Even as the music keeps going on, and Professor Lupin yells something about remembering a spell, and a feminine voice just behind me keeps saying something to me.
I JUST STARE AT HER.
Even as the cold creeps through my body and my wand disappears from my hands.
I JUST STARE AT HER.
Even as the darkness envelops me and I don’t even see here anymore.
I JUST STARE AT HER.
______________________________________
The white lights that represent the Hospital Wing blind me as I gain consciousness.
The last thing I remember is cold and the first thing I feel is an enormous headache.
I shut my eyes with force and I bring a hand to my head with a grunt as the headache increases.
“He’s waking up”
“I’m going to find Madam Pomfrey”
I grip my head trying to stop the pain and the voices.
“Mister Patterson, drink this” a new voice says just next to me, and without thinking it much I drink what they are giving me.
After that, the pain starts to diminish and finally I open my eyes.
I start to notice the place I’m in, the Hospital Wing (I was right), and the people around me. On my right there is Madam Pomfrey with a notebook in hand and a furrow in her brows. Next to her Professor Lupin seems relieved that I’m finally awake, even if I don’t remember how long I was unconscious. On my left, there’s Draco and Pansy, both with worried expressions, and behind them Blaise with a confronting hand on both friends. And at the end, clenching my left hand with all her force, is Lucy, my little sister, who should really be in class right now, right?
“What happened? What time is it?”
“The memories will come back, it’s probably part of the trauma” Madam Pomfrey says just as he notices my friend’s expression and then immediately starts to ask questions like “what do you remember?” “can you follow the light?” “touch my fingers” “okay, now grip my fingers”.
“Great, your reflexes are good and your strength is coming back. I’m going to recommend rest, so tonight you’re going to sleep here, and tomorrow we'll see how you are. Any questions or concerns?” she says, looking at me.
“What about classes?”
“I’ll warn the professors and all the homework stuff your friends will help you with,” says Lupin as he points to the Slytherins in the room.
Just as Pomfrey opens her mouth to ask me something else, someone demands her help and she leaves, but not before reminding me she’s there for anything.
When she’s gone, Professor Lupin turns to me again and with a strange look on his eyes, says:
“I wanted to apologize. I should've reacted earlier and stopped the class, so I apologize.”
I don’t really know what he’s apologizing about, because I do not remember, but I nod my head and let out a sigh when he’s finally out of sight. He’s one of my favorite professors, yes, but knowing that he’s seen me in a vulnerable state is not pleasant.
I lift my head watching my friends and my sister that is still clutching my hand and ask what happened.
“You almost died, that’s what happened!” Lucy explains with anger that it’s not like her.
My sister is a kind and imaginative Hufflepuff. She makes friends with everyone, especially the outcasts. And she’s the only sibling that still talks to me like nothing has changed
“No, he didn’t almost die,” Blaise says, putting the hand that was supporting Pansy at the top of the Hufflepuff’s head.
“You just fainted after facing a boggart” Draco's serious voice appears.
“Which was?” I am kinda curious to see what boggart could make me faint from fear.
“A woman, I think” Pansy responds. “She was really tall, like giant tall, and pale, more than Draco” which erupts an indignation out of the pale guy. “And she seemed to call out to you?”
The last part she says is more like a question, but the picture she paints doesn’t intrigue me as something scary. And I don’t even know any woman with these characteristics.
“The White Witch?” Lucy whispers, like she knows who she is.
“Who?” The four Slytherins exclaim not recognising the name.
“What? No, nothing” she says, finally letting go of my hand and flapping them trying to make us forget what she said. “Anyway, I have to go. I still have classes.”
She gives me a big hug and a big kiss on my cheek and completely disappears.
“What just happened?”
“I don’t know” Draco says, and then his face immediately freezes like remembering something. “Tempus” he casts, noticing that it’s early afternoon. “Merlin, I’m late. Ed I’ll come back after dinner, rest.”
“And now we’re three” Pansy says after Draco runs off to Slazar knows which class.
“He’s still worried about the letter, right?”
“He’s Draco” Pansy says as a response, which kind of tracks.
He is Draco Lucius Malfoy, an ambitious kid that would do anything to please his father and is extremely afraid of disappointment.
The three of us spend some time talking until they notice my eyes dropping so they say goodbye and I’m left alone with my thoughts. I try to remember who that woman was, the White Witch as Lucy put it, but my mind is still blank. As I think about today, Draco's response to the letter, my fainting over a boggart and the strange reaction Lucy had to the description of it, I fall asleep.