Chapter 2
TITLE: Oh brother, I confess
I spent the next weeks trying to come up with a way to explain to my best friend that I am a King. Something I myself still don't understand.
It was like a forgotten memory. It was me. I saw it.
Merlin, even my soul told me so.
But even if my soul and my heart say so, the logical part in me is still doubting. And the solution to that is research.
And that's where I find myself at the library looking at all the books about dreams.
I think the topic of “dreams” is the perfect place to start looking for an answer. It all started because of them, two years ago.
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I am finally at Hogwarts, after two years of hearing and reading about it in Peter’s and Susan’s letters, I am finally here. (The only thing I don’t like is having to leave Lucy alone a full year).
As I enter what Professor McGonagal told us is the Great Hall, my body’s singing with magic. A warmth spreads to my chest like coming home.
I bring a hand to my chest trying to subdue the feeling as I look around the Great Hall. It’s amazingly big, with long tables filled with people and a thousand candles floating in the air. I look up, noticing the night sky packed with beautiful gleaming stars.
“It's bewitched to look like the sky outside. I read about it in Hogwarts, A History" I hear a girl say from somewhere up front of the long line of children that is setting foot for the first time in Hogwarts.
All of us get close to the long table at the front where there seems to be all of the professors and there McGonagall explains to us all about the Sorting Hat.
I heard the stories from Peter and Susan, how a hat gets into your mind and finds which house you belong in. I’m personally hoping for Slytherin and, as I hear the song of the Sorting Hat, I am certain that I want to get there. I spent all my life only knowing my siblings, and as much as I love them, they are not really my friends. So, yes, I am hoping to find some real friends here, if it’s in Slytherin where I’ll find more means to achieve my ends, then better.
I know the reputation of “bad guys come from Slytherin” that they have. A reputation that kind of has increased since the death of the Dark Lord. But I believe in second chances and I trust that the serpent house is not all bad guys.
So, when I’m called to the Sorting Hat, I’m only thinking about one color.
“Slytherin” The hat yells after a long monologue about my qualities.
A smile breaks out of my face immediately and while walking to the serpent’s table I look for my siblings eyes.
As I find them I notice something I didn’t expect.
The hard look in Peter’s eyes I expected, he’s too much a Griffindor that he would take the red-green rivalry seriously, what I didn’t expect is Susan’s avoidance.
Which is why, after figuring out where the Slytherin’s common rooms and my room are, I find myself searching for the Ravenclaw tower. Soon enough I end up in front of a massive eagle bronze statue. Suddenly the bronze eagle starts to talk:
“What has no end and no beginning?”
“Huh”
My confusion must reflect on my voice, but the statue only repeats what it already said.
I search through my mind trying to find an answer to this apparent question. What has no end and no beginning?
“A circle” I exclaim and the eagle lets me pass.
The Ravenclaw common room is big, it even seems bigger than the Slytherin one, with azure and bronze decorations.
I start looking for Susan, but me being little and the amount of people that are here isn’t helping. When I spot her I start walking with the most silence I can muster preparing myself to scare her. As I approach her I start listening to the conversation she’s having with her friends.
“Your brother’s adorable. He looked amazed by the Sorting Hat” one of the girls exclaims.
“What? Peter?” Susan responds. “I wouldn’t call him adorable. He’s more like a proud lion, you know, being a Griffindor and all.”
“No! The little one, who was sorted in Slytherin”
“Oh, yeah, no, he’s not my brother”
What?
I’ve always been closer to my sisters than my brother, closer to Lucy because we’re the youngest, but Susan has always been there.
She played chess with me, and lent me her books and…
A sob escapes my lips as I exit the eagle's tower.
The fact that she denied being my sister like it was nothing hurts more than I can show.
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That night I went to sleep feeling like shit but woke up in high spirits. I don’t remember what I dreamt but I know with certainty that it started there.
Now, here, in a library full of magical books, I make an effort to forget that memory.
I start at the dreams section and pull out several books without looking. “A Guide to Unlock the Meaning of Your Dreams”, “Symbols, Signs and Meanings” “The Power of Your Dreams”, “The Dream Interpreter”, “The Alchemy of Your Dreams”.
I grab every book that barely references dreams. I set them all at the nearest free table and start reading.
After what seems to be a really long time I’ve discovered next to nothing. Almost all the books talk about the same and it’s so superficial that it doesn’t help with my problem at all. The only one barely interesting is the last one I picked from the shelf. It starts talking about past lives and reconnecting with one's soul.
“I didn’t know you were interested in Divination” a teasing voice wakes me up from my focus.
It’s Pansy, a fair-skinned girl with her black hair on a bob. She’s one of the only girls in Hogwarts that I actually consider my friend. She’s extroverted and easy-going, but she can also be very scary when protecting herself and those she loves.
That’s why I hesitate on what to say.
“No, not really interested in Divination. Just on dream theory.” I respond back feeling guilty for not being able to explain it all.
“You’ve been here all morning?” she asks while sitting next to me. “Draco has been going crazy with worry.”
And that makes me guiltier. And I just can’t take it anymore, I have to explain it to someone.
“Something has been happening to me, Pans, and I still don’t understand it myself. I just didn’t want to worry Draco without an explanation.”
Pansy’s eyes get softer with this and she offers her help for anything and everything.
“But you do need to talk to Draco. He’s your best friend and you are his. You can trust him.”
I know she’s right and I will tell him, but I want to explain it all to him at once, so first I have to find the answers.
We spend a little more time researching dreams and Pansy helps me with what she’s learned in Divination, but when we finish all the books I found, I still feel unfulfilled.
“Did you find something that could help you?”
“Merlin, NO!” I yell frustrated, immediately getting shushed by the other students.
“We haven’t found all the books about dreams, maybe there’s an important one that someone’s borrowing,” Pansy says calmly. “For now, let’s get out of here and eat something.”
“You’re right, sorry for yelling.”
We place the books in their place and get out of the library.
I’m starting to feel the exhaustion and hunger take over my body. Wow, did I really spend all day there?
I walk without seeing where I’m going, stuck in my thoughts, when a sudden voice rips me from my mind.
“Ed!!” It’s Caspian Black running towards me.
Pansy turns to me, a teasing look in her eyes and says:
“I'll go ahead. Please talk to Draco” and kisses my cheek and just leaves me there with Caspian.
Caspian, who is still as beautiful as the last time I saw him. With his locks framing his beaming face and his chocolate eyes staring right through me.
“Is she your girlfriend?”
“No. And it’s Edmund not Ed.” I respond a little harshly. “What do you want?”
“Edmund, then” my name on his lips shouldn’t sound so good. “Just wanted to apologize for what happened at the beginning of term. Peter shouldn’t have teased you that way and I didn’t do anything and… just wanted to apologize.”
A chuckle escapes my lips at that. Seriously!? He’s apologizing now and for Peter?
“Relax, I’ve known my brother longer than you and, unfortunately, he’s always been kind of an ass. I’m still waiting for him to mature, and he’s the older one.”
“Yeah, he kinda is…” he responds with a chuckle. “I’m also sorry I waited too long to apologize, it was hard finding the right words and…”
“Seriously, it’s fine.” I interrupt him. “I didn’t have the best reaction either and you shouldn’t have to apologize for him. He probably forgot about it, so…”
There’s an awkward silence after that.
I examine him, his eyes on his shoes, his hands playing with his undone tie, his brunette hair hiding his face.
He looks nervous.
“I was on my way to the Great Hall” I say trying to escape the situation.
He straightens his back, looking right at me, his eyes gaining a new light.
“May I accompany you?”
The way he says it, like a prince asking for a dance, reminds me of the Caspian-like person from my dreams and makes my heart hurt.
“You may.”
We end up talking all the way there. About Quidditch (“Are you going to try out now that most Slytherin from the older years have graduated?” “I don’t think so. Quidditch is not my passion”); about professors (“Is it true that Professor Black doesn’t like you?” “Oh no, he loves me. I’m his favorite nephew. He just likes to keep it professional in classes”), about lots of things (ignoring the issues with my siblings and the expected rivalry from our houses).
It’s comfortable and easy, like I have known him all my life.
As we approach the doors almost closed (we are so late!!) of the Great Hall, I feel disappointed that this time together is coming to an end. I never would have guessed that I would have a great time with Caspian Black, my brother’s friend who I just started talking to this afternoon.
“We should do this more often,” he says, stopping just before entering the Hall.
“What? Talking?”
“Yeah. I had a great time and you are definitely not the bratty kid that Peter’s told me about” he responds teasingly.
Who’s this guy and where’s the nervous version of him that started talking to me today???
“Yeah, we could do that” I say, not being able to stop the smile that my lips draw.
“I’ll see you, then” he smiles at me and kisses my hand like a gentleman.
I stand rotted in the spot, feeling the warmth that he left on my hand as he goes to the Gryffindor table and Potter approaches him asking something about a map which wakes me from my stupor, and I nearly run to the Slytherin table.
“What was that?” Draco asks just as I sit down.
But I don’t know how to respond.