Beyond Fear

The next morning, Harry faced a challenge he hadn’t even considered.

Luna needed to take a bath.

When he woke up and enthusiastically prepared breakfast for both of them, he wasn’t ready to be urgently called by a Luna on the verge of vomiting in bed. Morning sickness had returned, so Harry rushed her to the bathroom and held her hair as she vomited while sitting on a stool. Afterward, Luna informed him she needed a bath. The two of them remained silent, contemplating the situation before them. Luna spoke first.

“I can sit on this stool and bathe myself,” she stated in a flat tone, as though it was an obvious conclusion. Harry, on the other hand, fought to keep his cheeks from turning pink and resigned himself to reality.

“Luna, you can bathe yourself while sitting on the stool, but you’ll need help getting in and out of the shower without slipping. You’ll also need help dressing… at least the bottom part,” he added the last part belatedly, definitely blushing. He silently thanked Merlin that he was standing behind her, where she couldn’t see his flush.

“That’s fine… it’s not like you haven’t bathed me before,” she replied, her tone casual as if discussing the weather, though her cheeks also turned pink. After that, there was a moment of silence in which they both were undoubtedly recalling their previous intimate moments in the shower.

Realizing that his thoughts could lead to an embarrassing situation in Luna's presence, Harry cleared his throat and attempted to redirect the situation.

“You can start undressing while I grab something for you to wear. What do you want?”

“The yellow dress hanging in the wardrobe, please. You’ll find the underwear in the top drawer.”

Luna didn’t seem embarrassed about Harry rummaging through her underwear, so he tried not to let it bother him either. After fetching the dress and pulling out the first pair of panties he saw in the drawer, Harry returned to the bathroom to find Luna seated on the stool, shirtless and braless (her breasts had definitely grown). She was trying to pull down the sweatpants she was wearing but couldn’t bend over, so the pants were stuck at her knees. Harry took a deep breath, attempting to control both his mind and his breathing (she’s sick and needs help! She’s sick and needs help! became his mantra). Despite himself, he stepped into the bathroom and knelt in front of her.

“Let me help with that,” he said, surprised by how calm his voice sounded.

Harry pulled her sweatpants down and past her feet. Then, looking up to confirm she was okay, he met her gaze. Seeing no fear in her eyes, he placed his hands on the waistband of her panties and, after Luna lifted her hips slightly, slid them down her legs. He tried not to notice the blonde hair and the hint of pink folds visible as he worked, but it was impossible not to catch a glimpse. He moved as quickly as he could, then stood and helped her to her feet. Luna’s petite, light frame made it easy to support her as she moved. Harry focused all his willpower on not looking at her now slightly fuller breasts with pink nipples and tried not to let his mind dwell on how incredibly sexy she looked with her pregnant belly.

Once she stepped into the shower and sat down, he told her he would wait in the bedroom and quickly left the bathroom, taking deep breaths.

Holy crap! 

He hadn’t even thought about this situation, and now he would have to see and touch a very naked Luna (VERY naked!) every day for the next month. Merlin help him! He would need every ounce of Gryffindor courage not to bolt and every god’s aid to avoid embarrassing himself in front of her.

And he had a girlfriend, he reminded himself belatedly. It wasn’t right to have… reactions to someone else. Guilt washed over him again. If Ginny knew, she would be hurt—and rightly so.

But did he still have a girlfriend?

Harry felt helpless. What could he do? Luna needed help, and no matter how hard he tried, it wouldn’t be easy to remain indifferent to her body.

Lost in his thoughts, Harry jumped when he heard Luna calling for him, saying she was done.

When he stepped back into the bathroom, his heart raced, and his mouth went dry. There was Luna, standing with wet hair covering her breasts—nipples still peeking through the strands—and water droplets glistening all over her body. She looked like a fertility goddess with her round belly and shining silver eyes. The sunlight streaming through the window made the droplets on her skin sparkle. Harry couldn’t decide if she was a goddess or an angel, but one thing was clear: he had never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

Realizing he was staring, he hurriedly grabbed the towel and did everything he could to prevent her from seeing how red his face was. After she dried herself, he knelt at her feet again (needless to say, his eyes were directly in front of her most intimate area, and he definitely didn’t stare… because that would be so wrong) and helped her pull on her panties. Once she was settled on the bed to finish dressing and combing her hair, Harry fled the room with the excuse of checking breakfast, practically running. He was so focused on escaping that he missed the small frown on Luna’s face.

Harry ran downstairs and didn’t stop until he reached the kitchen sink. Without bothering to remove his glasses, he turned on the faucet and splashed water on his face. Holy crap! How was he supposed to survive a month of this? Luna was like a freaking sexy fairy, with that ethereal aura… and she was also the only woman he’d ever had sex with.

He regretted not paying more attention during Occlumency lessons.

Pull yourself together, Harry!

He shouted internally at himself. Then, drying his face, he heard an owl at the living room window. Recognizing it as Ron’s, he read the letter informing him that Ron and Hermione planned to visit Luna after lunch.

At least he’s not mad at me for threatening his little sister, was Harry’s first thought.

Before he could tell Luna about the visit or take her breakfast upstairs, there was a knock at the door. Grateful for the brief reprieve, Harry opened it to find Neville.

“Hey, Harry. All good? I came to check on Luna and continue working on the garden.” By this point, Harry had completely forgotten about the garden.

“Yeah, all good, Nev. Luna’s upstairs. I was about to take her breakfast. Want to do it?” Harry felt proud of how naturally he managed to dodge the task.

“Sure.” Neville grabbed the tray and headed upstairs.

Only then did Harry sit down to eat, though his appetite was nearly gone after such an emotional morning. As he ate in silence, trying and failing to stop thinking about Luna’s body, he heard laughter upstairs and felt a pang of jealousy he refused to acknowledge. That unnamed, unacknowledged feeling tightened his stomach as he finished cleaning up the kitchen. Hearing footsteps on the stairs, he turned just in time to see Neville carrying Luna down.

“Harry, could you conjure a chair for me to sit in the garden while you two work?” Luna asked, still in Neville’s arms. Harry thought she looked far too comfortable there for his liking.

He merely nodded. He couldn’t respond—his jaw was clenched to contain his possessive, unjustified temper. As he conjured a chair in the garden, he kept repeating to himself that Luna wasn’t his. She could sit in anyone’s arms if she wanted.

At the same time, he tried to justify his reaction by claiming he was just worried about his friend getting hurt.

What if Neville dropped her? (The fact that Neville was taller and stronger than Harry didn’t matter.)

Harry was so confused. This torrent of unexpected emotions was leaving him utterly exhausted.

After spending the morning weeding the garden while chatting with Luna, who seemed a little frustrated about not being able to help, they paused for lunch made of sandwiches and juice. Afterward, they returned to the garden, as Neville mentioned they had to hurry since his return to Hogwarts was approaching.

They heard footsteps on the gravel path leading to the garden, and Harry assumed it was Hermione and Ron. He was right, but he hadn’t anticipated Ginny walking in behind them.

Hermione had a look on her face that said, "It wasn’t my idea," and Ron seemed a little guilty. Ginny's face was blank, but her eyes gleamed as she scanned the garden, stopping on Luna. Instinctively, Harry positioned himself in front of Luna to block Ginny’s view. This didn’t go unnoticed, as Ginny frowned.

Hermione hugged Harry before going over to talk to Neville and Luna. Meanwhile, Ron stopped near Harry and spoke quietly, so only he could hear:
“Sorry, mate. I tried to tell her it wasn’t a good idea.”

Harry suddenly found himself face-to-face with Ginny. She walked over and kissed him on the lips, leaving him even more confused.

“I came to see how my boyfriend is doing,” she said sweetly, and Harry wasn’t sure if she was being kind or just cynical. As he tried to decide, Ginny walked over to Neville and gave him a short hug. She avoided Luna, only saying a curt, “Hello.”

Harry decided it was better to believe she was just being kind and remorseful about what she had said earlier. But honestly, showing up like this without an apology wasn’t the best approach. Harry hadn’t said anything yet, but the others had started a light conversation, and he just watched. Luna seemed relaxed, but Harry noticed she was a little tense. He looked at her with a question in his eyes, "Are you okay?" She responded in their silent exchange, "Yes."

When Harry went inside to get tea and biscuits, Ginny followed him into the kitchen.

“You already seem very comfortable here,” her voice was restrained, not revealing any emotion.

“Just your impression,” Harry replied simply. The last thing he wanted was a fight. Though, he reflected, he was indeed very comfortable here—even more than at the Burrow, where he had stayed all these years. But he wouldn’t say that to Ginny.

“Harry… I wanted to apologize. I don’t know what got into me to say those things. I truly regret it,” she said, looking somewhat miserable as she walked up to Harry and held his hand. “Can you forgive me?”

Harry looked at her and tried to remember that this was Ginny, Ron’s sister, the girl he had been infatuated with since Hogwarts. Everyone makes mistakes, though they had been arguing so much lately. He was exhausted and hurt, but guilt kept him from saying so. Guilt for having gotten another woman pregnant, for seeing another woman naked, and for things he couldn’t even name. He tried to convince himself that perhaps now they could maintain their relationship more calmly; she seemed so regretful.

“Of course, I can, Ginny.”

She immediately hugged him and kissed him firmly, but this time Harry broke the kiss midway and looked at her, seeing confusion in her eyes.

“I can forgive you, Ginny, but I don’t want any more fights. Enough of that.”

“Okay, Harry. No more fights,” she said with that smile that lit up her entire face, and Harry allowed himself to be swayed by it, ignoring the growing feeling that something wasn’t right in their dynamic.

When they returned to the garden holding hands, with the tea and biscuit tray floating alongside them, Harry saw Luna glance at their joined hands and, for some reason, felt the urge to let go of Ginny’s hand.

When everyone was seated, drinking tea, Harry decided to talk about Hogwarts. He was also curious to see Ginny’s reaction; it was obvious she wouldn’t like the news.

“So… I’ve decided that I really won’t return to Hogwarts,” he blurted out.

Neville and Ron simply nodded in understanding. Ginny gripped her teacup so tightly that her knuckles turned white—Harry noticed, but it was Hermione who spoke up.

“Harry, education is important for getting a job. Without N.E.W.T.s, it’s almost impossible,” she said, with her best teacher-like expression.

“Please, Hermione. He’s Harry Potter. Everyone will give him a job, with or without N.E.W.T.s,” Ron tried to defend his friend, but Harry grimaced at the thought. He didn’t want to be given privileges just because of his name, which led to his next decision.

“I’m also not going to accept the offer to become an Auror. I don’t want to benefit from my name,” he said.

“Then what do you plan to do? Stay here tending the garden?” Ginny said, and it was clear she was trying hard not to sound too irritated, but she failed. Harry looked at her firmly until she backed down, though her face turned an even deeper shade of red.

An awkward silence settled over the group.

“Actually, yes… I’m going to stay here tending the garden.” He smiled at Luna, despite his irritation at Ginny’s latest outburst. “Luna and I talked yesterday, and we’re going to do homeschooling, so we’ll take the exams at the Ministry.”

“Harry, that’s great! This way, you’ll continue studying while taking care of Luna and the babies. That’s an excellent idea,” Hermione said, now sounding enthusiastic.

“Actually, it was Luna’s idea. She was already planning to do it, and I asked if I could study with her,” Harry said with a hint of pride in his voice, which didn’t go unnoticed by the others.

“In fact, Hermione, I wanted to know if you could help us create the schedule, including breaks for the babies’ births,” Luna added this time.

“Of course! Let me just grab some parchment and quills,” Hermione said, now fully animated and in her study mode.

While laughing at his friend’s enthusiasm, Harry felt Ginny squeeze his hand. He thought about pulling away but decided that wouldn’t be the best option. After all, she had restrained herself as best as she could. Ginny tightened her grip, drawing his attention, and when he looked at her quizzically, she motioned for them to go outside. Harry followed her in silence, leaving the others deep in a discussion about N.E.W.T.s.

“Harry, can we go out again, just the two of us?” Ginny asked as soon as they were far enough away for the others not to hear.

“Ginny, you know I need to take care of Luna,” Harry argued, his voice weary.

“But Harry, I’ll be back at Hogwarts in a few weeks. We won’t be able to see each other, and now that I’m still here, you can’t even make a moment for me? I’m your girlfriend,” Ginny said, almost pleading, and Harry knew she was right—he would have to figure something out.

“All right, I’ll try to arrange something with Luna and send you an owl.”

Ginny jumped on him and kissed him again. Harry kissed her back, but his mind wandered to the discomfort of the whole situation.

“Promise me you’ll visit me on Hogsmeade weekends?” she asked when they broke the kiss.

“I’ll try, Ginny,” was all he could say.