Beyond Fear

When Harry knocked on Luna's door on Saturday morning, she greeted him with a broad smile, wearing rainbow pajamas and hair so messy it could have had a bird's nest in it. She looked so cute, he thought.

"I thought we could have breakfast together. I'm really good at making bacon and pancakes," he offered, feeling a bit embarrassed for coming by so early without warning.

Luna didn’t seem to mind; she stepped aside to let him in, saying she’d love to eat pancakes.

As he handed her a cup of tea, he noticed her fingers were stained with paint.

“You’ve started painting again?”

“Oh yes, I felt inspired yesterday afternoon and started working on a mural for the living room.”

“That’s wonderful, Luna! I’m so glad you’ve gone back to doing what you love.”

“It’s been really nice, truly. Now I just have to keep an eye on the Nargles so they don’t take my brushes.” Her voice was dreamy.

Harry’s smile widened. It was the first time since the war that she’d mentioned one of her creatures, and Harry was surprised by how much he’d missed hearing her talk about them.

“We can’t let that happen,” was all he said, still smiling.

When Harry started frying the bacon, he was startled by Luna suddenly running, without any warning, to the downstairs bathroom. He immediately followed her, his heart racing as he tried to figure out what was wrong. He saw Luna enter the bathroom, followed by the sound of retching.

“Luna…” He stepped in and held her hair back, keeping it out of her face. Then he helped her stand up and kept holding her hair as she washed her face.
“What made you sick?”

“The smell of bacon.” She made a funny grimace. “Darn it, I like bacon so much.” But she shuddered as she said the word.

Harry turned off the bacon pan, deciding to stand in solidarity and not eat any either.

“When we see the healer, you should ask how much longer this nausea will last.” Luna grew strangely quiet, but Harry was busy with the pancakes and didn’t notice.

After Harry served them both and they began eating in peaceful silence, Luna got up and went to the living room, then came back and added a portion of something to her tea. She tried to be discreet, but Harry noticed and grew concerned.

“What did you just add to your tea? Is it safe?” He looked at her, and she could see the worry in his eyes.

“Yes, it’s safe. It’s a nutritional potion the healer prescribed for me to take in the mornings.” She spoke the last part softly, and Harry only heard it because he was sitting close across the table. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Healer? What healer?”

“Yesterday, I had my first appointment to check how the baby is doing. St. Mungo’s replied to that letter earlier this week, scheduling the appointment for Friday at 11 a.m.”

She tried not to look at Harry as she spoke, but she could feel his eyes boring into her. When the silence grew heavy, she lifted her head and looked at him. He seemed hurt, more than angry. Luna decided she’d prefer him angry.

“You went to the appointment without me? I told you I wanted to go with you.” He accused, still keeping his tone measured.

“Sorry, Harry. I didn’t want to disrupt your day—it was just a routine check-up.” She tried to lie about the last part, but they both knew how important the appointment was to them.

Harry then realized what Luna had wanted to tell him when they met in town. After all, that smile she’d given him was genuine. She had tried to speak, but Ginny hadn’t given her the chance.

“Is that what you wanted to tell me when we ran into each other in town?” He tried to avoid saying, “when Ginny butted in.”

She nodded. “Harry, you’ve done so much for me. I didn’t want to disrupt your life, and Ginny seemed so eager about that date.” Luna was glad her voice didn’t hold any bitterness, though she felt a little.

“Luna, I’m your friend. You’ve done just as much for me as I’ve done for you. Besides, there’s nothing in the world more important to me or that brings me more joy than our baby. You should have told me—I hate that I wasn’t there, and even more that you did it alone.”

“Sorry, Harry. Actually, I wasn’t alone—Neville went with me.”

Harry felt as if he’d been slapped. A strong, overwhelming wave of jealousy and possessiveness swept through him.

“You’d rather go with Neville than tell me?” He knew there had to be an explanation, and that Luna wouldn’t exclude him on purpose, but he couldn’t suppress his jealousy. In that moment, he was angry at Ginny for being possessive, at Neville for taking his place, at Luna for making the decision for him, and at himself for not insisting Luna tell him that day.

“I was going to go alone, but Nev showed up to drop off supplies for the garden. He saw I was nervous and offered to come along. It was very kind of him,” she said softly, avoiding Harry’s accusatory and angry tone.

Harry felt pathetic. He stood up and looked out the kitchen window. Outside, the day was bright blue, with birds singing. He took a deep breath; it wasn’t worth staying upset about this. Luna had been trying to protect him, and Neville had been a better friend than Harry. He exhaled slowly to calm himself, but though he managed to stay composed, he couldn’t shake the sadness about the whole situation. Luna sat quietly, waiting for Harry to be ready to speak—she had always been like that. She always knew when he just needed silence, without being pushed.

“Luna, I understand why you did this. Honestly, Ginny’s behavior was terrible, and I apologize on her behalf.” He walked over to her chair, knelt in front of her, and held her hands. “Just, please, promise me you’ll never do this again. I promised you I’d be there for every moment, and I wasn’t joking. This baby is ours, and I want to be part of everything. I’m their father.”

Luna’s eyes filled with tears, and she released Harry’s hands to hug him tightly as she said, “I promise, Harry. I’m sorry.”

Harry held her close, and the strawberry scent of her hair was simply intoxicating. She pulled back and gave him a watery smile.

“Sorry, I think these hormones are making me emotional.” They both burst into laughter.

“Now tell me what the healer said,” he asked.

“Well, he said the baby is doing fine. The due date is late January.”

“That’s great! I was so worried. But why are you taking that potion?”

“I’m underweight—I need to gain a bit more.”

“You need to eat better then. I can come here to help cook for you. Do you need me to go to the market? Eat more pancakes!” Harry pushed his plate toward Luna. He seemed concerned and a little desperate, which was a bit funny.

“Calm down, Harry, there’s nothing to worry about. I’ll improve my diet and eat more, I promise.” She smiled softly.

“Well, I’ll be keeping an eye on you,” he said seriously, and Luna began to regret telling him. Now she’d have a determined Harry watching her, and everyone knew it was impossible to dissuade Harry once he was set on something.

“Oh! I just remembered—I bought something for the baby.” Harry ran to the living room, grabbed his bag, and came back with a small gift bag.

She opened it and found a white stuffed rabbit and a white onesie that read, ‘I love Mommy and Daddy.’

“It’s just like my Patronus,” Luna said softly, a tear slipping down her cheek.

“Yes...” was all he managed to say, his eyes brimming with tears as well.

“Imagine him or her fitting into this tiny onesie.” They smiled at each other for a long time. There was so much in those smiles: hope, love, peace, longing. Neither seemed willing to break the moment until the doorbell rang.

Luna got up and went to answer it. Neville had arrived, and Harry appeared at the entrance as Neville hugged Luna and asked if she had eaten. Harry felt torn between the irrational jealousy he was feeling and the relief that Luna had a good friend looking after her.

“Hello, Harry, glad you’re already here.” Harry immediately pushed his discomfort aside—this was Neville, his friend since their first day at Hogwarts.

“Hi, Nev. I came to have breakfast with Luna.”

“Well, I hope she already told you she needs to eat more.”

“She did, and I’ve already said I’ll be keeping an eye on that.”

“I don’t need a watchdog! Besides, I thought you were here for the garden.”
They all laughed and headed outside.

Later, as they took a break from the sun to enjoy the lemonade Luna had made, they heard the sound of someone Apparating and then Hermione’s voice calling out.

“Back here, Hermione!” Luna called.

Hermione soon appeared on the path, accompanied by Ron.

“Mate, when Ginny said you’d be here working on the garden, I had to come see if it was true.” His grin was mischievous.

“We came to help, too,” Hermione said, swatting Ron.

“What? You didn’t say anything about helping!” The accusatory tone in his voice made everyone laugh.

“Well, I’ll get more lemonade for you. Ron, I have some scones—do you want some?” Luna replied.

“Absolutely!”

“Wait a second! Harry and I have been here all morning, and all we’ve had is lemonade!” Neville shouted accusingly.

“I have a certain charm, mate. You’ll have to deal with it!”

“I’ll help you, Luna!” Hermione followed her into the house.

The afternoon passed amid laughter that easily outweighed the work, creating a light and relaxed atmosphere. Harry couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed so much. Watching his friends, he realized they all felt the same; the joy seemed infectious.

His eyes, however, kept returning to Luna. He couldn’t stop watching her smile—so wide and genuine that it transported him back to their Hogwarts days, when she laughed at Ron’s jokes. It was like catching a glimpse of the old Luna—dreamy, sweet, and filled with a peculiar lightness that seemed untouchable.

Harry felt a wave of determination swell in his chest. He wanted to protect her from any pain, to help her recover that luminous essence that seemed dormant. Even though Luna was quieter now, simply following the conversation without saying much, there was something in that smile that made him believe she was gradually finding herself again. And that, to him, was the most precious miracle of all.