Chapter 2
It was an unusually quiet ride back to Hogwarts. Sirius didn’t open his eyes at all, even though Remus is pretty sure he wasn’t asleep most of the trip.
The entire trip, James and Remus bounced between looking worriedly at each other and looking worriedly at Sirius. Neither boy knows what to say. They take in the appearance of their friend. His skin is too pale, his hair too untidy. His robes hang loosely off of his already slender frame, and the bags under his eyes are so dark they look like dual ink wells. Clearly, something happened this summer. Something worse than usual.
An hour or so into the trip, James notices green robes ducking back and forth past the compartment window. He nudges Remus with his foot, hissing softly, “Look. Regulus.”
Remus stops staring at his boyfriend just in time to see the boy dart by again.
Remus feels a ball of anger roil in his chest. “That little rat.” he mutters under his breath.
“What do you think he’s up to?” James asks, furrowing his brow.
Remus stands up from the bench, face darkening. “I don’t know. But I bet he’s got some idea of what happened this summer.”
Remus slides the door open and dashes the few paces to catch up with Regulus. There is something fierce boiling in his veins, something hot and liquid. It’s a full moon tonight, yes, and that always messes with his emotions a bit, but this is something different, something stronger. Remus knows he’s in danger of losing control; he knows he’s too close to doing something irreparable, but he can’t help it. His best friend, his boyfriend, the most stunning and shining star in the whole night sky looks like he’s been kept in a dark dungeon all summer. And somehow, it’s all Regulus’s fault.
Regulus jumps in surprise as Remus grabs the front of his robes and pushes him up against the side of the train.
“What the hell happened?” Remus growls.
Regulus looks calmly at the fist holding his clothes. His face an eerily blank mask. “I don’t know what you mean.” he says evenly.
“You know what the fuck I mean.” Remus growls again, leaning in over Regulus. “What the hell happened to Sirius?”
“Nothing he didn’t deserve.” Regulus hisses.
There is something incongruent between the boy’s angry tone, his calm demeanor, and the way his eyes flick down the hall toward the closed door of the compartment, but Remus doesn’t care.
He shoves Regulus against the side of the train again, bashing his body on the wall. “Don’t you dare say that!” Remus snarls in a scarily low voice. “Have you seen Sirius lately? Do you know what he looks like? He looks like he hasn’t eaten in weeks! He jumps every time I get near him! He won’t even look at us properly! And you think he deserves that? Fuck you, Regulus.”
Regulus doesn’t even react. He doesn’t try to defend himself or to pull away from Remus. He simply lets it happen.
Remus slams him again, this time Regulus’s head bounces off the wall with a sickening crack.
Still, Regulus does not do anything.
“Say something! Say something, goddamnit! How did this happen, how did you let this happen?”
If Remus were less angry, he might notice that Regulus’s calm demeanor slips ever so slightly, revealing a look of regret for only half a second before the stone is put back in place.
But Remus isn’t noticing-- he’s shouting, he’s pleading, and he must be making a bit of a scene because James pokes his head out of the compartment door, looking alarmed.
“Moony.” James calls, uncertain as to whether or not he should intervene. He glances from Remus to Regulus then adds, “Let him go, yeah? He’s just a kid.”
Remus narrows his eyes a bit, he wants to do nothing more than rip that infuriating little prick’s throat out, to make him hurt just like Sirius is hurting. But deep down, Remus knows James is right. Regulus isn’t worth the effort.
Remus drops Regulus’s robes and pushes him roughly away.
“If I find out you did anything, anything, I’m going to kill you.” he threatens.
Regulus does not seem concerned by the threat. He simply straightens his robes, and nods to James. “His trunk is by the Slytherin car. I’ll make sure the house elves get it.” Then, before he leaves for his own compartment, he utters one more sentence. “Take care of him.”
Remus scowls and rejoins James in the compartment. Take care of Sirius. Of course he’ll take care of Sirius. Better than Regulus ever did, that’s for sure.
“What was that all about?” James asks quietly, so as to not disturb the resting Sirius.
Remus glares at the empty hall, but his heart isn’t quite in his anger anymore.
“That kid’s nothing more than a useless nuisance.” He says grumpily, before going back to worriedly staring at his boyfriend.
The train begins to slow as it reaches the station. James and Remus stand and start collecting themselves. Remus carefully approaches Sirius and kneels down in front of him.
“Sirius?” He softly whispers. “Wake up, we’re here.”
There is no response, not even a shuffling movement.
Remus’s breath catches. He watches Sirius’s chest, pleading to see its rise and fall, terrified he might not.
Wait. There. Yes. He’s alive. He’s still alive.
“Sirius?” he gently pats Sirius’s knee, just barely brushing the robes.
Sirius’s eyes flutter open, and for a second he looks lost and confused.
“We’re at Hogwarts, Pads, you ready to go?”
“Hog--warts.” he stammers a bit sleepily. “Yeah. Yeah. Let’s go.”
He still looks lost, like he isn’t quite there at all.
“That’s it, Hogwarts.” Remus assures. He stands up and shoves the book he was reading into his trunk.
When he turns back around, Sirius is only half-standing, leaning heavily on the wall and making a look of intense pain.
Remus drops the trunk with a loud thump and rushes over to Sirius, taking his arm to help him up.
Sirius flinches at first, but lets Remus help him. When he is fully on his feet he tries to take a step, but sways dangerously to one side. James is quickly there, supporting his other arm.
“Merlin, Black.” James jokes, “At this rate they’ll think you’ve been hitting the firewhisky a little too hard.
Remus smiles, but he doesn’t feel like smiling.
Sirius doesn’t even do that much.
The two boys stay close to Sirius’s side as they guide him to the castle, walking slowly and when possible, blocking him from view of the other students entirely.
Sirius moves stiltingly, slowly. His breath is ragged and shallow, and occasionally he stops moving entirely, staring off into the distance as if he’s forgotten he was walking in the first place. Remus or James has to say his name several times to snap him out of whatever stupor he falls into and remind him to keep going.
Remus watches the setting sun warily. He wishes it weren’t a full moon tonight. He always wishes it weren’t a full moon, but at least when they are all together in the Forbbiden Forest, it isn’t so awful.
“You’re staying with him tonight.” He says to James over a swaying Sirius’s head. “Make sure he’s safe, yeah?”
James nods. “’course. But you’ll be alright?”
Remus shrugs. “I did over a decade of moons by myself. I’ll make one more.”
“No.” Sirius drawls sleepily. “I’ll come.”
Remus feels his heart twinge lovingly. Sweet Sirius, sweet, sweet Sirius.
“No offense Pads, but I don’t think you could do much to hold back the wolf tonight.” he says softly.
Sirius shakes his head a little, which nearly sends him stumbling over his own feet.
“Jus’ need some food.” he slurs, “Jus’ some food an’ then I’m good.”
James looks doubtfully at his friend. “Mate, I think you need a bit more than one meal.”
“When was the last time you ate something?” Remus asks, a bit hopeful that the nap seems to have gotten Sirius at least a little bit more alert.”
Sirius sways a bit onto James’s arm, jolting away from him as if he’d been shocked when their bodies meet.
“Woah, steady now.” James says, putting a hand near Sirius’s elbow.
“Sirius, how long?” Remus asks again.
Sirius frowns a little. It looks wrong on his face.
“I dunno.” he mutters. “doesn't matter.”
Remus feels anger flare under his skin. How dare they make him think it doesn’t matter. How dare they do this to him. He’s about to say as much, or throw a rock, or beat up a first year or something, but James shoots him a look that stops him. Now's not the time. So he drops the issue and helps James get Sirius to the Great Hall and seated before he runs off to the Shrieking Shack for the night.